i applied for LAMDA now but i’m already kinda scared of the audition…like i’m not confident at all, but i wanna do this. i WANT to be an actress and i WANT them to train me. i want it, but i’m also scared of it. i’ve had carrie fisher’s quote in my mind for days: “stay afraid,but do it anyway”. and i need to do it. if i actually want to get in, i have to be the most confident person out there and show my whole potential. i’m done with trying to drag me down, trying to disappear. i’m the one who’s in my way. my parents and friends support me. my mind has to support me as well. like dude, this is for you!!! this is for you!! what the hell are you afraid of? i need to be confident for this. i want them to want me. but i have no idea how to be confident. i haven’t been confident for years. it’s time.