idk how i feel about this anymore

anonymous asked:

Hi, I used to have some friends who were really negative so I don't talk to them anymore and now I feel so alone? I just don't have any friends anymore and I don't know how to meet any new ones because everyone at my school is so mean? Idk. I just feel so alone and I don't know what to do about it. Thank you for your time✨

hello! I felt the exact same thing as you last year! some advice:

♡ I think you need to have an open mind. i’m sure there are some kind people out there.

♡ you could try lowering your expectations. some people can be judgemental but they lots of good qualities too. no one’s perfect and most people aren’t perfectly kind. sometimes people aren’t mean inside, they just say mean things to fit in etc.

♡ try talking to more people, you’ll get along better with some than others.

I hope this helps 🌸🌻

5

Okay, so the newest episode of Steven Universe made me re-evaluate Navy’s character a LOT, particularly her behaviour in Hit the Diamond. Originally I thought she was just flighty and oblivious, but like…

I think it was an act here, too. I think she knew DAMN well our Ruby didn’t belong with the rest of them and something was up, but she smugly pretended otherwise because…Idk, she thought they’d gain more information by playing along? Or maybe she’s a true Agent of Chaos and she just wanted to see how things would play out? I’m not sure, and I’ll def rewatch that other Rubies episode to see how I feel about that, but man I just don’t buy this lady at all anymore. “What a turn of events!” no longer sounds like like anything other than SARCASM to me. What do y'all think?

Thoughts while reading Acowar.

Mind the swearing and spoilers kids.

-2 years before the wall? Wait is this like a baby bat Rhys POV?
-oh God this field isn’t a nice place. Kinda like it tho.
- omfg 6 High Fae… 6, to defeat one Illyrian… damn.
- Rhys is so protective if his brothers it’s killing me.
-AGH PART ONE HERE I FUCKING COME.
-Yes Feyre, burn this shit.
-Already thinking about that wingspan Feyre? Can’t blame ya.
- Ugh Tamlin no can you not enter this moment just yet. Ugh Lucian I’m fucking watching you.
-Oh for Fuck sake I gotta read about Ianthe soon to?
-ugh I just want some smut and it’s only page nine.
-Feyre you can roll your eyes. God knows I am.
- Oh hey Ianthe, go Fuck yourself Ianthe.
-You definitely revived something from Rhys hands Feyre, but it was far more pleasurable than torture.
-Lucian I won’t ship you and Elaine. But please, for the love of God, kill Ianthe.
-Oh hell fucking ni, Jurian, go fucking Fuck yourself and stay the Fuck away.
-Oh snap, Nesta and Elaine already so powerful they can drain the cauldron.
-Oh snap, Feyre laying down these facts. Also that’s how I spell Miryaim’s name.
-Feyre you savage.
-Jurian, talk about Elaine like that again and I will kill you.
-Oh Fuck off Ianthe, I’ve read enough of you.
-Okay Lucian, my heart is softening towards you.
-God I missed you Alis.
-Damn summer solstice is giving me goosebumps.
-Rhys you are giving me life.
-Uh Oh, Tamlin’s getting jealous of friendship.
-YOU FUCKING BURNED THEIR WINGS.
-Ahhh Feyre you also cringing about Elaine being fucked by a fire blooded male?? Let me introduce to Azriel. He’s far better in my opinion.
-All these painting titles… we’re they like, working title for Acowar.
-Rhysand you get that tongue to work.
-Also Tam you prick.
-TAMLIN YOU MOTHERFUCKING PRICK HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A WHIPPING.
-God Alis, my bae.
-Feyre slit her throat.
-Yes Feyre Fuck this bitch up.
-Oh these twins. Can you fucking not.
- Go Lucian Go.
-Bring on Part Two.
-“He can get in line,” Feyre getting a list of people who wanna kill her to rivals Aelins.
-Oh for Fuck sake, everything was going so well, until Lucian’s brothers showed up.
-OMG CASSIAN YOU’RE BACK.
-AZRIEL MY CUPCAKE.
-“There’s no such thing as a High Lady,” bitch excuse me.
-Cassian you melt my stone cold heart.
-Mor my darling.
-OMG IT’S HAPPENING, RHYS IS COMING.
-Amren, boo. Hru?
-Lucian being called a girl, I’m dying
-AGH RHYS.
-“Go find somewhere else to be,” I know what that means.
-The smut was worth it.
-Oh I missed the banter of my baby bats.
-And Rhys’ swearing begins.
-Cassian sunning his wings. I wonder if a certain Nesta sees.
-Cassian trying to be chill around Nesta is my new aesthetic.
-Nesta reads romance. Hell Yes.
-“You come between a male and his mate, Nesta Archeron, and you’re going to learn about the consequences the hard way.” Trying to foreshadow something there Cassian? I Ship.
-No is mentioning the sorrow and longing in Cassian eyes, Feyre, for the same reason no one mentioned it when Rhys looked at you all those months ago.
-Reading about Elaine is painful.
-I’m relating to Elaine and all those open curtains too much… shit.
-Cassian you’re to precious.
-I missed the Amren/Cassian banter so much.
-Shit Mor is getting pissed.
-Feyre keeps calling Rhys mate and I’m feeling bad for the Australian readers.
-“Because I can’t stay away” well Fuck me if they ain’t mates.
-Nesta looking as Cassian like he’s the only one in the room.
-Damn right there was a reason Lucian wore a fox mask.
-Idk what to write but the nessian at pg.203. gahhhhhhh.
-“Surely Nesta wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle,” omfg Feyre, it’s hilarious of you to think that.
-Feyre were you not there for Acomaf. He was very clearly, cocky then.
-Library sex? I’m in.
-oh, so no library sex.
-To the Bone Carver we go. RIP.
-Oh so, the Carver, and the Wearer are- I’d be shocked only I read that spoiler.
-Oh so the Carver is a mirror type of perosn? What even is a mirror person? Is it his kink?
-Oh Nesta having death powers.
-Feyre constantly calling Rhys mate tho.
-Tbh all I wanna know is who or what the carver appeared to Cassian.
-Everyone in this book be complementing Rhys good taste.
-Ah Az and Elaine be starting. Az be carrying his ship.
-Poor Cassian. Nesta will come around, I promise, I read the spoiler.
-YES AZRIEL SHOW HER THE GARDEN. I’VE READ THIS SPOILER PAGE SO MUCH AND NOW IT’S MINE.
-You know, I wrote a fanfiction about Az and Elaine in a garden and her calling his scars pretty. They kissed in it.
-“Azriel isn’t the ravishing type,” Rhys you should read the fanfic I wrote about him. He loves to ravish.
-omg Cassian calming Nesta- ugh how many more pages until this kiss?
-Az, sunning your wings for Elaine? How scandalous.
-“Why not make them mates?” Feyre babe I’m asking the same question.
-FEYRE YOU SHIP ELRIEL TOO? Oh sweetie I love you more than Cassian rn.
-Rhysand, let Feyre play matchmaker.
-I was about to bash Kier for insulting Az, but Az got this shit.
-Oh not this fucking Eris bitch again.
-Rhys the Fuck you playing at?
-Okay, ngl I know Mor is gay but those Eris know? Ffs.
-Okay everyone is fighting and I’m more intrigued than I should be.
-D'as Nessian.
-Double d'aw Elriel.
-Pg.303 and back to sassy Az.
-Sassy Az KS giving me life.
-It was at page 306 that I realised I was in love with Az.
-Nephelle’s be giving me goosebumps.
-Yes bathtub scent with Rhys.
-Oh it’s actually a massage scene? I’m in.
-Feyre are you trying to start a war? Cassian flying with Nesta. Dammit who am I kidding I wanna see that.
-Yes Az, help Elaine in the garden. I am sailing this ship.
-Nesta watching Cassian lick his fingers and I’m like, now imagine that kissing elsewhere.
-Nes? I ship.
-Some shit happening in the library.
-ohhhh so we finally reached the part where people wonder if Elaine is a seer.
-Yes Feyre, put Elaine’s riddles together.
-Okay that scene was intense but Nessian at the end was calming.
-“Amren on the hunt,” a novel by sjm.
-Damn Az, took you awhile but bravo, she’s a seer. God it couldn’t be any easier to love you.
-Lucian I swear to God if you die, looking for this sixth queen, I will kill you.
-Also where is my Suriel.
-Shit Alis don’t die.
-oh FFS, look, “king” of Hybren, old buddy. If you’d kindly fuck off. Only it’s late, I don’t need these plot twists.
-Look, “King,” I’d pay good money to see you try and take Feyre.
-Rhys if you could destroy my upcoming exams the way you did those ships, I’d be grateful.
-pg.379, more smut, hell yes.
-pg.381, Nesta all concerned.
-The amount of sex feysand are having. That wingspan must be truly impress you Feyre darling.
-So Cassian is terrible at complements.
-Ah yes boys, bringing up that wingspan again.
-This Nessian tho.
-“she threatened to freeze my balls off,” Kallias, Viviane, welcome to my heart.
-I’m in love with Viviane.
-God sake, Tamlin Fuck off.
-Tamlin, let me tell you, Rhys and Feyre have fucked so much I’m sure he could recount every noise she is capable of making.
-Fucking shut up Tamlin.
-Eris if you’d kindly shut the Fuck up too, it’d be a pleasure.
-Pg.438, Nesta, damn, *blows kisses.*
-nvm of 439, Go Feyre. Slay.
-Helion…. wait… look I can’t go around loving all these people. It makes me look like I have a heart.
-You know I’d be surprised at Lucian being a whole, some air of dawn court, but I already read that spoiler.
-Okay mor is gay why is- you know what, never mind, I give up.
-Oh. Oh Fuck.
-lol, I’m so tired, whenever I hear the wall mentioned all I can think of is humpty dumpty.
-“Don’t even start,” Nesta, sweetie, we’ve been shipping this since the last book.
-Part three here I come.
-btw this is still the same day for me. I’ve read up to part three in a few hours. It’s two in the morning. Never underestimate a fangirl deprived of her smut.
-Jurian just has to show up, doesn’t he.
-idk who I am to believe anymore.
-I wanna say Fuck this shit I’m out. But I am so in.
-So am I meant to trust Jurian or not.
-Damn Tarquin.
-Nessian will kill me quicker than these plot twists.
-Ayyy more shut, god I love you Sarah.
-Yes, the Suriel is coming into play bitches. I’d been surprised by what happens only I’ve seen this spoiler too.
-Okay first thing first, Ianthe please Fuck off Secondly rip Suriel 2K17.
-Cassian what happened. Nesta please. I know the ending and shit but tf happened.
-Feyre be joining up these dots about which way Mor floats.
-This, Varian, Amren thing, yeah I’d like another five books of it.
-Awww, Az, you’re to sweet and selfless.
-I’m so tired IDK how to feel anymore.
-Oh greatttt, Feyre got hit with an arrow. Any more plot twists.
-Wait Tamlin? Fuck, ugh.
-d'aw, Elaine kissed his cheek.
-it’s four in the morning. I have less than one hundred pages left.
-Shit.
-Fucking hell Elaine stab them bastard.
-Also Nessian hell yes.
-Also…wait what’s happening.
-Rhysand you fucking bastard it’s five in the morning don’t do this to me. I know you live god dammit don’t fucking do this.
-oh thank fuck that’s all settled.
-This book. These plot twists. These ships. It’s all so heart wrenching and shit.
-Wait is she flying over Velaris in her lingerie.
-Fuck it’s half five in the morning. I read this book in under 24 hours. I need to sleep.
*hours later*
-omfg I need to read this shit again. It was so good. The High Lords, the banter, the near death experiences. The romance. The sass. Sarah you queen.
-if the at least the novellas don’t have nessian or Elriel tho I may be tempted to cry.

And that, my friends, is a snippet of the roller coaster if thoughts and emotions I went through. I was too tired to cry during it but my heart was successfully ripped out a few times.

one of the reasons people with bpd handle people rejecting them/abandoning them so hard is bc we base our identities around these people we get attached to. how THEY feel about us is who we ARE, in our minds. if they love us, we base our identities around that and believe we are loveable. if they leave us or decide they don’t like us anymore, we believe we are unloveable because we have no concrete sense of who we are, apart from how other people feel about us.

2

superman!clarke 

a v late birthday gift for @dearsheroozle, whose birthday v unfortunately fell the day after 3.07 aired and killed all my creative energy

so. i’m gonna explain how important this is to me. i haven’t drawn anything in almost 4 years because my depression killed my drive to draw. completely. i literally just. couldn’t anymore. at the time i stopped drawing i had damn near become an alcoholic because of the things i was going through. i didn’t want to do anything that i cared about anymore. i’d try and i’d just immediately get upset and toss it out. tonight i had drawn an example of Numei’s current left eye for an rp, just sketched it super fast to get my point across. I showed it to some friends, got encouragement from @shadedsecret that I should try to pick it up again. i said no at first, but i was watching some stuff and just. went at it. and for once i’m happy with it. well, enough. enough to keep it. enough to actually share it. and that’s a huge deal.

so here’s numei. current numei, i mean. she looks more.. man-ish than she actually is supposed to be but i just, chalk that up to being ridiculously rusty. and here i am posting it at 3 am -shuffle dances out-

The Closet

Originally posted by diltons

Pairing: Reggie x Reader

Word Counter: 1,483

Anon Requested

A/N: This was in my drafts and like I promised, here it is. Idk if ill write anymore, just depends on how i feel i guess. And go follow my personal tumblr if you want, i post pics of me and my dogs usually. @rora811

Warnings: None, fluff, slight angst i guess.




You snorted at the conversation you were having with your friends. “No way!” Veronica exclaimed. “I’m being totally serious.” Jughead stated with a wry grin. The current topic was about Jughead’s dog, and how “untrainable” he was. “There is no way he chewed through that bed. I helped you pick it out!” You exclaimed. 

Jughead placed a hand on his heart. “Scouts honor.” “Oh shut up Jug, you were never a Boy Scout.” “You never knew because I burned all the evidence.” He snapped at Archie. Betty just laughed. 

“Oh come on. It said extra durable, chew proof, and was verified for heavy chewers like your dog. What the hell.” You said. “I honestly don’t know how he did it. I left the room for like 5 minutes to make a sandwich and when I came back it was in shreds on the floor.” Jughead sighed. “Back to using old towels for him I guess." 

The four of you finally made it to Pop’s where you all sat in your favorite booth. After ordering, you all continued to make small talk about upcoming exams and such as other people form school came into the regular hangout spot. You all heard a loud gloating voice and groaned. 

There he was, Reggie Mantle, in all of his annoying glory. He made eye contact with you and smirked as he stalked over to your table. "Hey guys.” he said maliciously. “Hey Reg.” Archie greeted, he being the only one who was semi-friends with them. Reggie made eye contact with you again before speaking. “Soooo, there’s a party going on later, at my place. And I just wanted to take the precious time out of my day to invite you all.” Everyone’s eyebrows shot up with suspicion. “And why would we ever want to go?” Jughead asked bluntly. 

“Hey it’s just an invitation. Do what you want with it.” He said with his hands up in surrender. “Well, how about you take your invitation and shove it up your-.” “We’ll go!” Betty interrupted with a fake smile. You all looked at her in shock. “Yeah, we’ll all go. Just text Archie the address.” She said as Reggie grinned and walked off. Two glares were sent towards Betty. Specifically, you and Jughead. 

“Oh come on Betty, you know parties aren’t my scene.” You complained. “Yeah, I mean this is by far the worst idea you’ve ever had.” Jughead agreed with you. “Guys, we never get out! Come on, we’re sophomores. And how do we spend our Friday Nights, staying home and watching Netflix?” “

Hey! I’m totally ok with that.” You said. “Yeah, me too.” Jughead added. “Well I agree with Betty.” Veronica said. She stood up from the booth and gestured for you and Betty to do the same. “Come on girls. We’ll get ready together and then meet the boys at Reggie’s.” Your shoulders slumped. 

“But-.” “No buts y/n. Now come on, I’m not taking no for an answer.” She was about to walk off when she suddenly stopped and turned towards the boys. “If you both are not there, I will personally find you and drag you there myself.” She threatened, pointedly at Jughead. 

The next thing you knew, you were being dragged out of Pop’s as you heard a loud groan from Jughead. Veronica took you and Betty to her house, which was rather large. Once you made it to her room you gasped. It was about as big as your house. Betty was doing the same thing. 

“Oh this? This is nothing compared to our old house in New York, now come on, let’s find you two some dresses.” She threw open the doors to her closet and immediately started digging. She threw a couple dresses at Betty insisting she gontrt them on as she searched for something for you. She was satisfied once she pulled out a light blue dress, a red dress, and black dress. 

She handed them to you and pointed towards the bathroom for you to get them on. You looked at yourself in the mirror and groaned, not believing you were actually going through with this. With another heavy sigh, you quickly undressed and pulled on the blue dress. 

You stepped out of the bathroom for the other girl’s opinion. “I don’t know… I don’t think blue is your color.” Betty said as she looked. “Yeah… try the red one on!” Veronica ordered as you nodded in defeat and went back into the dreaded bathroom. You zipped up the red dress and walked out again, this time striking a pose. Both Betty and Veronica scrunched there noses. 

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s the right one either.” “Oh come on,” you struck an even more awkward pose. “You don’t think this one’s it?” They laughed and pushed you back into the bathroom with only one more option. You put on the black dress and looked at yourself. You actually liked this one. You stepped out of the bathroom shyly and awaited the opinions. 

 "Oh my god, I love it.“ Veronica said as she rushed over and examined everything. "Ooooh yes, that one’s it. It fits you perfectly y/n!” Betty commented making you smile. It fit very nicely, hugged your figure, and made your boobs look pretty great. For the next two hours, you all fussed over shoes, makeup, and hair. 

 Once you were all satisfied with your looks, you all carpooled to the address Archie had sent over. You met up with your other two friends outside, where Jughead stood there silently hating the world as you all walked in. There was a bunch of people from school standing around in their own groups of friends. 

When you five walked in, Reggie looked up to see who entered and grinned when he saw you. He left his little group to come and greet all of you. “Archie what’s up man?” He asked as they did the bro hug thing. 

He turned to you. “Y/n… you’re looking very fine this evening.” You felt uncomfortable under his stare. Veronica noticed and grabbed your’s and Betty’s arms. “Come on ladies, lets party.” She said and dragged you away. You three started to walk around, mingled with other people drank punch, had fun. 

About an hour into the party, someone suggested a game of seven minutes in heaven. Of course Veronica forced both you and Betty to play. In total, about 20 or so kids were playing. You all sat in a circle as kids took turns spinning a bottle and then disappearing into a closet for the next seven minutes. 

When it was your turn to spin you sighed heavily, not knowing what to expect. The bottle went in circles, taunting you as it chose who you would be in the closet with. When it finally stopped you were filled with dread as you saw him grin. 

 "I-I don’t want to.“ You muttered to Veronica who didn’t care and shoved you towards Reggie and the closet. He took your hand gently and led you inside the dark space. The door was closed behind you and someone shouted from the other side, "seven minutes starting!" 

 You sighed quietly as you stood not even a foot away from the tall jock. "Why don’t you like me?” He asked sincerely as you looked up to meet his dark eyes in the tinted darkness. “Because you’re an ass to people.” You answered simply.

 "I’m not an ass to you.“ He said. You snorted. "Is that supposed to mean something. You can tell a lot about someones character by the way they treat others.” You stated as his eyes met yours again. “What if I start being nice to other people, you know, stop being an ass." 

You weren’t expecting that. "For what? What’s this all about Reggie?” You asked. It was very quiet for a minute or two before he spoke again. “I really like you.” He whispered. You gulped. “You would change the way you act… for me?” He nodded. 

You smiled softly as you looked down. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?” You asked as you subconsciously stepped a bit closer to him. He leaned down and is lips were only inches from yours. “I’d do anything, to make you mine.” He breathed before connecting your lips. 

 You made no move to pull away as you liplocked. You enjoyed his kiss as he moved his lips against yours expertly. You weren’t expecting that either. The door opened quickly giving you no time to jumps way from each other, but you did, clumsily. 

The other students laughed as they watched you both walk out of the closet. You saw Reggie about to open is mouth so you grabbed his hand, holding it in yours. He looked down at you shocked, but kept quiet as you both walked out of the closet, together.

anonymous asked:

I was salty about the changes in art styles in su until I read the tags in that post you reblogged. Thank you for educating me that they are VISUAL INTERPRETATIONS of the characters, rather than INACCURATE DRAWINGS of the characters. As an artist, I would feel awful if a lot of people criticized my art because they want it to look a different way than I had portrayed it. Sorry for being ignorant before. Yall work hard, and do an amazing job with the art on the show tbh

thanks! i mean i don’t work on the show, but i am pretty tired that nobody considers that boarders all have their own style and draw the characters in that style pretty darn consistently. i know who does “chibi steven”, who gives lapis what hair, and who makes peridot taller than others. none of that is a big deal to me - that’s how they interpret the characters, and there is no “on-model” version. it’s just your favorite vs least favorite boarder. 

it’s an annoying discussion, because it always turns into double standards: giving earlier seasons a free pass, comparing completely different boarders, or comparing it to shows that aren’t storyboard-driven. none of that is fair to me. i’ve even seen people - friends - get hate because they *gasp* had the audacity to show that “hey, this is kind of a thing with storyboard-driven shows, it’s not some scandalous, new ~crossing the line of animation quality :’( </3 ~ that su is doing”. 

people are allowed to not like ~inconsistency, even if intentional. i don’t care. but if animation “quality” matters that much to them, even when everything is intentional, even when each storyboarder is consistent in their own style, then, yknow… ok. keep raging on for another year, i hope it’s fun. 

i don’t say “get a life” often, but… geez. if they’re so focused on the fandom they either A) let a rage-bandwagon define how they feel B) focus all that time on something they legitimately hate, then… idk. i just feel bad for them. i’m not gonna answer asks about this topic anymore, though, whether positive or negative, cause here’s the thing: once you decide it is, every show is bad. literally anything can be accused of being shit, because this standard that you’ve decided is the “standard of quality” is defined by you. anyone can draw a line in the sand - i’ve done that with shows too. i just want people to be honest with themselves, on whether going out of their way to “prove” something su has always done - intentionally - suddenly makes it bad now is worth it or not. or whether they’re getting any enjoyment out of this at all. 

Idk.

When you can’t express the hurt you feel so you sit in silence, when you want to cry but you can’t so you just feel the tears . You feel your heart breaking but you try to you keep yourself together with a smile, you’re so broken you can’t express how you feel anymore , because what’s the point crying , talking about it anymore all you say to yourself “my heart is broken ” , “ the person you love doesn’t care ”. “ You can’t keep trying on someone that doesn’t care about you”.

Actually I’ve waited for the boys’ appearance (that’s what they called) after the news. Espcially, Jongin and Kyungsoo. So, Jongin is really really happier than ever if you’ve paid attention to him lately. So, I won’t be talking about him now bcuz Kyungsoo got my attention today.

So I’ve noticed that Kyungsoo is really glowing today. Idk why but he seems really happy. Don’t tell me that you guys didn’t notice that :3 Because I think somehow Kyungsoo’s voice is a little softer than before and Idk his voice seems a little less “manly voice” he used to talk in before. :33 And he usually did not smile like this a lot before, I mean in festivals like this. :33

I know maybe I’m being delusional but Idk he seems somehow a lot happier and carefree than ever. He smiles a lot too and not a formal smile but a lot happy grins. :33 ok, so Idk how to explain how I feel anymore but yes, I’ve made a point so.

See? Any of you guys, I mean my fellow shippers, felt anything about this baby or is it just me, again? :33

plus, Jongin be always staring at his Soo :33

That’s why I lie. I always say I’m okay when I’m not so people won’t worry anymore.

September 26, 2015 | 11:09 am

I’m on leave of absence from uni for the rest of the semester, which means I won’t have school til the next semester which is on January. I cried a lot because of it of course. I don’t want to stop school. I don’t want to be delayed again. I’m on LOA because my uni found out that I was in the hospital because of a suicide attempt. Apparently, University of Santo Tomas (my uni) has a protocol about suicide and mental health shit so I was forced to take a leave of absence for “my own safety”. I got depressed, but I somehow got over it. But to be honest, I’m doing this for my parents, not for myself.

Also, I feel like my friends form uni are abandoning me. They haven’t asked how I was ever since I got out of the hospital. It’s been weeks. Idk, they hate me now I guess.

One good thing tho, I’m clean from cutting for 24 days now! Almost a month! It’s unbelievable. But from time to time I still feel like I need to relapse but I have no blades anymore since the people from the hospital took them. 

My mom cried in front of me weeks ago too. It was the most painful thing to watch. She was begging me not to kill myself and that I should think about them and my sisters. That if I can’t live for myself, I should live for my family. Which is kind of unfair because they’d rather have me living miserably than have myself die peacefully. I don’t ever want to see my mom crying again. That’s why I lie. I always say I’m okay when I’m not so people won’t worry anymore.