-We’ve been friends a long time, Selina. And ever since you’ve known me, I’ve been dedicated to one thing, but that’s done. I don’t know what’s next, but I know- -Would you please just say what you mean?
Look, Todd knew he
could be a bit of a miserable asshole. It was true. He didn’t smile all that
much (although that had been changing recently, and he suspected a certain
holistic detective was to blame), and he laughed even less. It was a fact of
his life, and he was at peace with it.
Dirk, however, was not.
Todd was so caught up in a rare belly-laugh at one of
Amanda’s jokes, that he didn’t notice the quiet beep of Dirk’s phone right as
he started. He noticed the one after the laugh was done though, and he turned
his head to find Dirk pointing his phone directly at Todd, face stretched in a
“Got it!” said Dirk proudly, withdrawing the phone and
flicking the screen.
“What? Got what, what’s going-?”
He was cut off by the sound of his own laughter ringing out
from Dirk’s speakers. Dirk smiled smugly, tapping the screen a few more times.
“Looks like I’ve got a new ringtone!”
“What the-? Dirk, what the hell?!”
“Calm down, Todd,” said Dirk with a light snort. “You’ve got
a lovely laugh and I don’t hear enough of it! I just thought I’d take matters
into my own hands.”
“Dirk, you can’t have me
laughing as your ringtone it’s… it’s weird!”
“People have their significant others as lockscreens, no?”
Dirk argued, turning his phone for Todd to see. Sure enough, the screen was filled with an unflattering picture of Todd’s sleeping face pressed into the couch cushions. “I think it completes the theme.”
“Dirk, it’s creepy!” Todd insisted, flustered. “People are gonna hear that and,
and- how would you like it, huh? If I just- just used your voice as a text alert without permission? It’d be weird,
Dirk looked… a little too happy. “I’d be touched, actually.”
“Oh, yeah? How ‘bout we put that
theory to the test, hm?” Todd said, sliding his own phone out of his pocket and
flicking to settings (completely ignoring the photo of Dirk attempting to play Todd’s guitar with his tongue sticking out in concentration on the lock screen- it wouldn’t help his case right now). “Just a sec- there!” he tapped ‘preview’ and Dirk’s laugh
rang tinnily out of the speakers, filling the office. “Not so flattering now, right? Anyone within ten feet of me
is gonna hear that every time I get a message and-“
It was at that moment that he
remembered who else currently was within
ten feet of him, and he stiffened. Slowly, he turned his head back round, and
came face to face with his sister’s look of delighted disbelief.
“So,” she said with a mischievous
twinkle in her eye. “You’ve already got his laugh recorded, huh?”
Shit. “I… I was trying to prove a point!”
That Dirk shouldn’t be self-conscious about his laugh because it’s one
of the cutest I’ve ever heard. “That… that he sounds like a donkey when he
Dirk looked at Todd, eyes wide.
“So… you really don’t like it?”
“Ah ah ah, too late,” she crowed, slapping him on the back. “Dude, it’s okay. You’re a grown-ass man with a cute
dorky boyfriend- you can quit pretending to be edgy!”
Todd wanted the ground to swallow
him up. “Hey, I’m not pretending anythi-!”
“Uh huh, yeah, tell it to someone
who still buys your bullshit,” she said, shaking her head and standing to shrug
on her jacket. “Sorry, guys. Hate to break it to you but you’re fucking cute. Kudos. Later, nerds. Enjoy
your matching ringtones!”
She sauntered off, probably to go
bug Farah instead, giving Dirk the customary wave and Todd the customary
middle-finger on her way out.
Todd glowered after her, and
turned to Dirk- who had far too smug a look on his face. “We’re not- I’m- I am not… cute!”
“Whatever keeps you sane,” Dirk
simpered, eyes crinkled with amusement. “What’s for dinner?”