I am so unbelievably shocked right now. Who in their right mind would make a joke out of something so devastating? Seriously pissed off right now. This guy is an ass. A lot of people have been telling him their thoughts. Also, I clicked on his instagram link and his first picture is full of people telling him exactly what kind of person they think he is. Good.
I have a head canon that at some point before signing with the Falcs, Jack made an appointment with a cardiologist, to deal with a heart problem he noticed developing the end of his senior year. The doctor kept assuring Jack his heart was fine, but Jack knew all the racing and skipping of beats he felt in his chest was part of a bigger medical issue.
Finally, on their sixth appointment, the doctor gave Jack a diagnosis:
“There’s some type of
arrhythmia, I know it."
"Jack, we’ve done 5 stress tests, you could run the Boston marathon right now, comfortably."
"But you see, whenever I walk into the Haus kitchen, I feel the fluttering. It’s significant. Also, when Bittle and I went to the beach Saturday, my heart started hammering, the Falcs are going to find some cardiac problem in the physical."
"It’s the guy, Jack."
"Did you never notice that every occurrence involves this Bittle person you won’t stop talking about?"
"I don’t talk about Bittle that much-"
"Jack - I know he switched from unsalted butter to salted butter for his Moomaw’s tarts, because the taste was off. I know he has a cute little crinkle in his nose when he laughs and the fact that his laughter somehow induces chest pain in you. I know that he wore his red shorts four times in the last three weeks - and that you had a cardiac episode every time he bent over in them. It’s the guy, Jack."
"So…you’re saying Bittle is bad for my heart?"
"I need you to leave."
"Is there something I can do? Like a low-Bittle diet? I can’t cut him out completely. Should I ask him to stop wearing the shorts? Maybe if he wore them more I’d get used to them? What about when he dances to Beyonce, are you sure that’s the reason my heart st-"
"Leave, and send me an invitation to your wedding."
I'm not going to lie I love the concept of palpatine dying from completely natural causes like a common cold. The galaxy is in shambles and fears a power vacuum with Vader ascending the throne. No one expects Vader to seat twentysomething rebel and Jedi trainee Luke Skywalker on the throne in his stead lol I'm just trying to imagine what the holo news reports are like
It’s such a hilarious, anticlimactic ending for him. :) It’s about all he deserves.
I’m sure there would be people who are convinced it’s a hoax or prank or something. Then Luke gives his first public address (hating it the whole time) and the Galaxy’s like “oh. he was serious. now what?” The GFFA equivalent of the paparazzi is desperately trying to get an interview with Luke, but Vader doesn’t let it happen. He’s got Luke locked down tightly, not letting anyone near him. Some people think Luke’s a puppet emperor, that Vader’s the real power behind the throne (though they wonder, “why bother?”). It’s got the conspiracy theorists in an uproar.
Eventually, though, Vader will claim Luke as his son, once he and Luke have everything settled between themselves.
its also frustrating to still see comments on my art (reposted art lmao) about “Im NoT RACist B uT H aARRY isn’t BLL AKK! he’s wh I te E IN tHe MOvieS !!!!!”
and other people commenting (who, to be fair, are defending me) saying “artists can interpret characters however they want! the artist can draw their fav characters so that they look like them, it makes the characters more relatable!”
Alien series ranked by how stupid the characters are
Alien: Smart people! Make informed decisions based on the facts in front of them. Only really stupid when they let Kane on the ship, but they didn’t do it for stupidity sake only so i let it pass.
Aliens: Some dumb people, but that’s really down to greed and not taking things seriously. Stick together (mostly), make well thought out plans, and are generally intelligent (Gorman not withstanding).
Alien vs Predator: Actually figure out what’s going on pretty fast. They do split up, but they didn’t know tow hostile alien species were coming to kill them so i give em a pass. Also Lex is smart as hell
Alien: Resurrection: The Betty crew is smart, once shit goes sideways the whole main crew sticks together and generally works well. The company? Bunch of idiots trying to resurrect an extinct, highly hostile alien life form like their own little jurassic park.
Alien 3: A couple smart prisoners in the land of morons. Charles S. dutton’s character single-handedly brings this above the bottom 3.
Prometheus: there is a whole scene where they play with a weird space snake. They run forward from a moving ship when they could run side-wards. Kind of after the fact but Shaw rebuilds an android that tried to kill them all. They aren’t smart y’all.
Alien: Covenant: every character seems to have the intelligence of someone from a Friday the 13th movie. “Let me just separate from the group to bathe myself even though I know there are dangerous creatures out there” “Let me just stick my head in this egg like the shady android told me to do” “Let’s go bang in the shower right after all our friends die”. Bunch of morons
Alien vs Predator: Requiem: “the government would never lie to us” *proceeds to be blown up by a bomb dropped by the government* me: looks at the camera like i’m on the office