idiot : )


The other day, I posted something on Facebook about how I hate being cat-called. Cat-calling is disgusting, NOT  a compliment, unsolicited, and not flattering. No woman ever likes being cat-called. 

Now there’s this guy at work who thinks of himself as the office clown. He likes to think that he’s funny (he’s not) and that everyone likes him (he’s wrong). Nobody likes him. At least, deep down, that’s what everybody feels. Everyone is just laughing at his jokes because he’s Management. 

To me he is an immature man-child. 

Anyway, so I posted that cat-calling thing and the next day when I got to the office, he’s like “Good morning, bitch!” I looked at him and said, “Excuse me?” He just smiled and I couldn’t stand his face and that stupid grin plastered on it so I went to the conference room for my morning training session. 

During lunch break, when I got out of the room, he kept saying, “Hi, bitch! Hi, bitch!” and I’m like is this guy fucking serious??? At this point I’m one step closer to calling the HR on his scrawny ass. So I went up to him and said, “What did you just call me?” 

“I saw your facebook post and you don’t like being cat-called, right? So I’m dog-calling you. Get it? “Bitch”? Female dog? Dog-calling?” and he said this with the stupidest smile on his face like he was so proud like “aren’t my jokes hilarious?” like he was actually proud of himself for thinking of how witty he is. 

The weird thing is that I don’t think he understands how insulting it is, like he actually thinks it’s a funny joke. 

So I said, “It’s not fucking funny, what the hell is wrong with you? You don’t call people, your coworkers, insulting names!” and he kind of just stood there with a fading grin, slowly realizing he’s an idiot. I just stared at him with my wtf face and walked away, still looking at him. 

He looked around him to see if anybody saw what had transpired. Unfortunately for me, nobody else saw. I wanted to see him crumble on the spot with awkwardness and shame. 

Fucking idiot. 


“So, why do you love Harry so much?”


“It’s OK to have dreams, it’s OK to have goals, in my opinion. But I really think it’s much more about the climb and the work you do on the way up. The climb is really hard and really rough, but it’s also the best part because there are still places to climb up to.”


Did anyone say idiotic fluff prompts?

‘I heard a high pitched whine and ran in to see you crying over a picture of a kitten and a puppy hugging yes i know that is cute but are you okay’
alternatively: ‘I started whining with you’

‘Hey I noticed you were down so here’s a box of kittens don’t ask me where i got them but we gotta return them before sunrise no it wasn’t illegal shhh h’

'Yes I killed this man but he was a bad owner and now his animal is mine and perfectly happy so I don’t see the problem’

'Are you reenacting Bet In It from High School Musical as a way of making this decision?’

'You’ve been wearing gym clothes all day but haven’t moved at all what do you mean its a 'mindset’ no you need to actually move’

'Can you take this seriously what no i don’t care if there’s a dog this is a crime scene’

'It was a normal day until you rolled in blasting the 'maria hee maria ha’ song and I’m so done’

‘If you don’t stop singing ‘Poker Face’ I will make sure you will have no flippin face’

‘Person C playing ‘Pony’ every time Person A and B have a moment of sexual tension’

‘Is that an alligator?!’ ‘Hey, show some manners, his name is Lieutenant Fred!’

‘I made a blanket fort and you can’t come in unless you admit I’m the best and my moves are the funkiest’

‘I know how to settle this; DANCE OFF’

‘Will you stop stroking my hair and whispering ‘my precious’?!”

‘What’s your favorite book?’ ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ ‘Okay, another question, are you trying to make me shoot you?’ ‘Yes.’

‘Did you seriously learn the book word-by-word and do all possible research just to be able to sass your teacher when he thinks you don’t know anything?’

‘I stole your seat and in retaliation you sat on me’

‘You know, you’re not supposed to EAT THEM ALL AT ONCE, YOU COULD DIE’ ‘Your skin is like a pillow, are you an angel?’ ‘Great, now you’re high’

‘How many coffee’s did you have???’ ‘At least eleven’

‘Help me find my shirt’ ‘You know, as much as I want to…I don’t want to.’

‘Would you stop chatting with the fricking enemy

‘Are you eating a whole jar of Nutella in one sitting?!’ ‘I have problems leave me be’

‘Why am I the only sober one at this party and you’re completely wasted and clumsily flirting with me god at least you won’t remember my blushing’

‘You can’t just use ‘I have problems’’ as an excuse for everything!’

‘Did you just bake 20 fricking breads?’ ‘No…. I named them too, this is Breadly, Demi Loafato, Attila the Bun…’