idiot

Did anyone say idiotic fluff prompts?

‘I heard a high pitched whine and ran in to see you crying over a picture of a kitten and a puppy hugging yes i know that is cute but are you okay’
alternatively: ‘I started whining with you’

‘Hey I noticed you were down so here’s a box of kittens don’t ask me where i got them but we gotta return them before sunrise no it wasn’t illegal shhh h’

'Yes I killed this man but he was a bad owner and now his animal is mine and perfectly happy so I don’t see the problem’

'Are you reenacting Bet In It from High School Musical as a way of making this decision?’

'You’ve been wearing gym clothes all day but haven’t moved at all what do you mean its a 'mindset’ no you need to actually move’

'Can you take this seriously what no i don’t care if there’s a dog this is a crime scene’

'It was a normal day until you rolled in blasting the 'maria hee maria ha’ song and I’m so done’

‘If you don’t stop singing ‘Poker Face’ I will make sure you will have no flippin face’

‘Person C playing ‘Pony’ every time Person A and B have a moment of sexual tension’

‘Is that an alligator?!’ ‘Hey, show some manners, his name is Lieutenant Fred!’

‘I made a blanket fort and you can’t come in unless you admit I’m the best and my moves are the funkiest’

‘I know how to settle this; DANCE OFF’

‘Will you stop stroking my hair and whispering ‘my precious’?!”

‘What’s your favorite book?’ ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ ‘Okay, another question, are you trying to make me shoot you?’ ‘Yes.’

‘Did you seriously learn the book word-by-word and do all possible research just to be able to sass your teacher when he thinks you don’t know anything?’

‘I stole your seat and in retaliation you sat on me’

‘You know, you’re not supposed to EAT THEM ALL AT ONCE, YOU COULD DIE’ ‘Your skin is like a pillow, are you an angel?’ ‘Great, now you’re high’

‘How many coffee’s did you have???’ ‘At least eleven’

‘Help me find my shirt’ ‘You know, as much as I want to…I don’t want to.’

‘Would you stop chatting with the fricking enemy

‘Are you eating a whole jar of Nutella in one sitting?!’ ‘I have problems leave me be’

‘Why am I the only sober one at this party and you’re completely wasted and clumsily flirting with me god at least you won’t remember my blushing’

‘You can’t just use ‘I have problems’’ as an excuse for everything!’

‘Did you just bake 20 fricking breads?’ ‘No…. I named them too, this is Breadly, Demi Loafato, Attila the Bun…’