one day i’m going to open a bar, okay, and the name is going to be a werewolf pun?? or a reference?? and it’s gonna be themed. just slightly. like, blue moon beer or a full moon cocktail or whatever. not too obvious but noticeable. and i’m gonna make sure all my bartenders and staff are like, kind of buff and hairy looking, right? and maybe one of them will wear contacts. they always avoid eye contact, but just enough where patrons might see it from the corner of their eye, just for a second. and it will always be closed on full moons and the days surrounding it, right? it will say some bullshit like “reserved for a private venue” every time but if anyone tries to book it, no matter how early they are, it will always, always already be booked. i might leave some torn slightly red-stained clothes in the corner behind the bar, just barely visible. i’ll make sure some of the staff/visitors that i hired or whatever are eating really rare, almost raw (not unhealthily but noticeably) burgers. one or more of them sniff people randomly. one of the bartenders constantly makes bad werewolf/wolf puns and jokes to anyone who will listen. all the staff and a few regulars will chuckle. patrons sometimes hear them mutter something about irony. some of the regulars and bartenders discuss hunting a bit too much. one of the deer heads on the wall looks like it was bitten into. several regulars are constantly overheard debating how inaccurate various tv shows and movies are, such as “twilight”, “teen wolf”, and “the wolfman”, which all dissolves into a debate over various plot points and who’s the best character. (”c’mon, it’s obviously stiles!” “but he’s not a werewolf, man, side with your own people!” they ignore the stares they get at that.) there are a few dog beds behind the bar that are covered in hair, but pets aren’t allowed in the bar, and no one has ever seen a dog on the premises. if anyone asks about werewolves who isn’t one of the staff or regulars, they’re immediately met with dead silence and judging stares. until they leave. they never return. there are pictures of various staff members with large… suspiciously wolf-like dogs… on the wall. people overhear staff complaining about how they ripped their favorite shirt last night and it was annoying. one of the bartenders has clear scars from long claws disappearing into their sleeves. another has a bitemark on their collarbone and too much chest hair. anyone who tries to get hired is also met with dead silence, except for when i’ve told them to come in, in which case the manager sniffs them up and down, gives them an intense look, and brings them to the back room for “privacy”. there are an unusually low amount of deer in the nearby forest. guys. guys. i’m gonna make everyone in town think my bar is a werewolf den. this is gonna be so fucking great when i have money and time and less depression

ask-nido-royalty  asked:

Oh yesterday was your b-day? Congratulations on making a full rotation around the ball of fire we call the sun

yeah it was! :P thank you, I look forward to speeding through the dark unknown vacuum of space for 365 more days with y’all