a concept: Victor usually wakes up first in the mornings. So when Yuuri wakes to find Victor cuddled against him, breathing slowly and steadily, it’s a pleasant surprise. He brushes his fingers through Victor’s hair and Victor instinctively moves closer to him, gravitating towards Yuuri’s touch whether conscious or unconscious.
They have to leave soon, so regretfully Yuuri whispers to him in Japanese, trying to wake him. Victor hums, still asleep, and tangles a leg in between both of Yuuri’s. Yuuri kisses his forehead and his chest aches with unconditional love that could reverse the turn of the Earth, that could part the ocean, that could put out the embers of the sun. Five more minutes won’t hurt anyone.
When we say “executive dysfunction”, I think it’s important to acknowledge to ourselves (and make clear to those who don’t struggle with it) that we’re talking about a basket of different struggles that we’re labeling with one name for convenience. One person’s executive dysfunction may not look like another person’s, even though the outcome (not being able to complete a task) may look similar from the outside.
Some people with executive dysfunction struggle to break down tasks into their component steps. Others struggle to connect cause and effect (’if I do this, this other thing will likely happen’), which makes daily life a confusing and sometimes terrifying black box. Still others can break down steps and parse out cause and effect, but they can’t start the first task (hello anxiety my old friend), or they get partway through and get distracted by a tangent or forget what the next step was because there were more than three (ah add i never miss you because you never leave), or they run out of energy before they can finish (tons of situations can cause this, both physical and mental). Sometimes people have a poor sense of how long it will take to do tasks, never seeming to budget enough because they don’t track time internally well. Others can only complete a task when they have sufficient adrenaline to spike their brain into focus, which usually means working in panic mode, which associates those tasks with Bad Feelings and further reinforces any anxiety the person may have.
And this isn’t just a few people. This is large-scale, across many groups struggling with different issues, from heavy metal poisoning to autism to add to chronic illness to anxiety to schizophrenia to mood disorders to traumatic brain injury, and more.
What we need, as a society, is to build better structures for supporting those with executive dysfunction, structures that acknowledge the multiple different types and causes. Because we cannot keep throwing the baby out with the bathwater here. We throw away incredible human potential that could help all of us because our society is set up to require a single skill which a large percentage of our teen and adult society doesn’t have and can’t easily develop (or they would have, trust me), or previously had by has temporarily lost due to injury or illness.
Instead of treating executive function as something that some people have developed and others haven’t, like artistic skills or a talent in maths or the ability to visualize systems or managing people, we treat it as a default that some people haven’t mastered because they’re [insert wrongheaded judgment here].
What if we treated the visual arts that way? If you can’t draw skillfully, you must be deficient in some way. How can you not draw? Anyone can draw. You start as a young child with crayons, what do you mean you can’t do this basic task?
Never mind that it’s a really complex skill by the time you’re expected to do the adult version, rather than the crayon version. Never mind that not everyone has been able to devote energy to developing that skill, and never mind that not everyone can visualize what they want to produce or has the hand-eye coordination necessary to accomplish it.
Now, I have friends who say that anyone can draw, and maybe they’re right on some level. But it’s hard to deny that it helps that drawing is optional. That you can opt out and no one thinks any less of you as a person. Executive function is treated as non-optional, and to some extent, since it’s involved in feeding and clothing and cleaning and educating oneself, it’s not entirely optional. But we make all of those tasks much harder by assuming by default that everyone can do them to an equal degree, and that no one needs or should need help.
If we built a society where it was expected that I might need timed reminders to eat, I would probably remember to do it more often. I certainly did as a child, when the adults around me were responsible for that task. Now that I’m an adult, the assumption is that I somehow magically developed a better internal barometer for hunger. Many people do. But I and many others did not. Recognizing that there are many of us who need help and treating that need as normal would go a long way toward building support into the basic fabric of our society.
But then, I guess that’s been the cry of disability advocates for decades; just assume this is a thing people need help with and build the entire structure with that assumption in mind.
❛You take draws to sort your head facedown.❜ ❛Don’t call it a fight when you know it’s a war. ❜ ❛You’ve got pretty eyes, but I know you’re wrong.❜ ❛If you wanna find love then you know where the city is.❜ ❛Community service was the best job he ever had.❜ ❛I swear there’s a ghost on this island.❜ ❛How can I relate to somebody who doesn’t speak?❜ ❛I love you all too much.❜ ❛As she mistakes my name I see the light come around.❜ ❛Strange as it seems I’m bursting at the seams.❜ ❛All we seem to do is talk about sex.❜ ❛Does he take care of you or could I easily fill his shoes?❜ ❛You’re alive, at least as far as I can tell you are.❜ ❛Now I call it a split ‘cause I know that you will.❜ ❛We go where nobody knows, we got guns hidden under our petticoats.❜ ❛No, we’re never gonna quit it.❜ ❛I nearly killed somebody.❜ ❛I’m sorry that your dad’s dead.❜ ❛I think I’ve lost a lot of my friends.❜ ❛I can’t exist within my own head.❜ ❛Why don’t you take your heart out, instead of living in your head?❜ ❛God only knows but you’ll never leave her.❜ ❛Now if you never shoot, you’ll never know.❜ ❛I’ll shoot him if it’s what you ask.❜ ❛Oh stop being an arsehole and counting my eye rolls.❜ ❛Speaking like I’m bigger than my body.❜ ❛My irregular heart beat is starting to compact itself.❜ ❛Would that make it stop if I told you I need you?❜ ❛You’re intertwining your soul with somebody else.❜ ❛This ain’t the last time that I’ll see your face.❜ ❛I know when you’re around cause I know the sound of your heart.❜
voltron characters as things i’ve done at frat parties
almost got kicked out because i yelled "i will murder whoever keeps throwing beer on us" and got in a fight with said person, who was a senior in the frat and at least twice my size.
accidentally lost my friends on the dance floor, couldn't find them because i was too short to see above everyone else's heads, gave up, and went upstairs to lay on the floor and play with the house dog for an hour.
went looking for the bathroom, found the kitchen instead. made garlic bread in the frat kitchen and ran away.
lost my best friend at the bar downstairs. cried for 10 minutes. went up to the dj with the intention of making a lost child announcement but got sidetracked and instead asked them to play ignition - remix by r. kelly.
ran away from my friends when they tried to take me home and disappeared for two hours. when found halfway across campus at another frat, i insisted that i had seen beyonce. eventually conceded that it was unrealistic for me to have seen beyonce but still insisted that i saw solange.
convinced myself and everyone at the party i knew how to communicate with squirrels because i saw one in the backyard and made prolonged eye contact with it before it ran away.
said "i don't know who that is" when some dudebros asked me "where's the weed" because i couldn't hear them properly and i thought they were just being weird and asking me where their friend therese was.
spent 10 minutes in the bathroom just checking to see if my hair looked good with a middle part while twenty drunk girls yelled threats at me from outside because they were all waiting to pee.
won one game of beer pong and then shoved everyone on the dance floor out of the way, screaming "i am the supreme" and "you are all weak."
Lua? You mean the ufo girl? Yeah, I remember that kid. Always with her head on the clouds, was she. She used to hang around with those other kids, the redhead with the camera and the prankster from the Andersons. There was also this boy, quiet and grumpy looking, always following her wherever she went.
They said she ran away a couple weeks ago, instead of going to college. I guess she really believes her mother was abducted and are willing to still look for her… Poor little girl, isn’t she?