id tell you i love you but then ill have to kill you

Self-destruction isn’t snorting the line on the party just because you want to try it for fun and thinking “I’ll do it just once, just to try it!” Self-destruction isn’t going out and drinking a little too much sometimes.
Self-destruction is taking that line even you know what will happen, knowing the side effect of that. It’s taking that line, not because of fun or people around you,  it’s because you have that urge inside you that tells you to do it, to fuck yourself up.
Self-destruction is going out with the intention to get drunk and not know about yourself the whole time just because you feel something inside of yourself that needs to be destroyed. You don’t drink because you’re sad or happy, you drink to kill that something inside of you.
Self-destruction is that smoke of cigarette you just took. You didn’t start smoking because of people around you make you do it, you started smoking because you heard it’s bad for you. Now you’re addicted. Or maybe you aren’t but you still do it.
Self-destruction is when you go to some random person you met at the bar house because of sex. You don’t know who he is, you could be anybody, you could end up dead, raped, you don’t know it won’t happen, but you go anyway. You know all the risks but you do it anyway.
Self-destruction is pushing people away and making yourself antisocial on purpose.
Self-destruction is popping painkillers even if you aren’t in pain.
Self-destruction is getting into fights on purpose.
Self-destruction is letting your id doing whatever you want.
Self-destruction is a lot of things, but it’s never a choice.
Self-destruction isn’t mental illness.
Self-destruction isn’t when you break up with your boyfriend so you lock your room and cry or go out and get drunk to forget about him.
Self-destruction is something in people, something that pulls you to the edge. It’s the sweetest sin of all of them. You can fight it, but it always wins. People keep saying to fight it like if they can fight it, you can fight it also, but if you are a really self-destructive you can’t fight it and you know it. It’s part of your reality, your life.
Not all alcoholics are self-destructive.
Not all addicts are self-destructive.
Not all drug addicts are self-destructive.
Not all who are depressive are self-destructive.
Not all alcoholics are self-destructive.
Not all addicts are self-destructive.
Not all drug addicts are self-destructive.

I smoke, I drink, I take pills – I’m not addicted to any of that.
I do it do destroy myself.

I don’t hate myself, I’m very far from hating myself. But some people do hate themselves. Some do, some don’t. everybody is different.
If somebody asked me why I do what I do I wouldn’t know how to answer. I know what is the goal, but I don’t know the main reason beside something self-destructive inside me.

For example, I know what heroin does to people but I’d love to try it. But I’ll never do it. Not because I don’t want to, but because I know what would it do to people around me. I don’t want to fuck them up. I want to fuck me up. And there are ways to do it without hurting somebody constantly.
People who are self-destructive don’t want to harm you, they want to harm themselves.

—  T.S. aka me/ things i never said out loud

TWIN ANDREWS | juggie x reader

A/N: im hoping to turn this into a short series and i hope yous enjoy it!! please hit the follow button to be updated with my blog posts! this is my first time as a solo blogger so i hope you enjoy my writing!! im also looking for a co-owner that loves to write/edit!! enjoy my lil nugs - R🌹

part 2:

“arch im kinda nervous”

i admit as we near the familiar diner

“you’ll be fine, it’s just Betty we’ve known her since we were in diapers don’t stress sis”

i huff my stomach turning as the neon sign comes into view

“i don’t know about this I haven’t been home for a really long time i think id rather just go home and rest”.

we pull into the parking lot and i turn to beg to my brother but he pulls the keys out of the ignition

“come (y/n) they are excited to see you, it’s been years at least come in for something to eat then I promise ill drive you home whenever you want”

i sit back and think it over before my brother starts again “dad wants me to help you ease back into it- it’s your first day back at school and wouldn’t you rather have people to talk with tomorrow so it’s not so-” he pauses

“terrifying” i finish

“i was going to say daunting but yeah terrifying works too” i huff
“fine but you owe me Archie big time” a smile spreads across his face as he gets out of his truck. “what have i gotten myself into” i think aloud copying my brothers actions and following him toward the entrance.

“oh and heads up I kinda didn’t tell them you were in town-”

i spin on my heels but he grabs my shoulders “it was supposed to be a surprise” he whines i run my hand over my face “fine- you’re so annoying you know that right”.

he sighs throwing his arm over me and walking me toward our normal booth we’re a spot Betty, Kevin & an unfamiliar raven headed girl.

“arch who’s the other girl-”

“(y/n)” i hear Betty call looking shell shocked

“i-i- I can’t believe your here I-” she chokes on her words.
things didn’t exactly end well between Betty & our friends when I left, after my parents divorce i went into a downward spiral and i was forced to leave with my mother no note no explanation to any of my friends as to where i was going or why and let’s just say i was terrified that they hated me.

“betts” i smile tears welling up

she looked so much older from when I last saw her the more I looked the more she looked different yet entirely the same. she stand from the booth her blonde hair swishing in her ponytail as she rushes over to wrap her arms around me pulling me into her warm embrace

“i thought you were never coming back” she whispers as she held me “me either” i whisper back crying slightly.

i pull away and wipe my eyes glancing to Kevin who’s jaw was lying on the ground “you going to close your mouth and come give me a hug or?”

he glances to me shocked with no movement as if he’s too scared to move in case I run “Kev!” i joke

I spread my arms as he climbs over the raven haired stranger and leap into my arms causing me to stumble back slightly.

“wow” he breathes pulling me at arms length examining me

“girl you got hot” he blurts

I laugh tearing up at the sight of my best friends “you finally grew your hair out im obsessed you look so so so good Chicago treated you well”

i run my fingers through my long red hair “thanks kev, it did it really did” “oh and you look so much thinner!”

I freeze at the comment catching my brothers gaze.

he senses my reaction and laughs stiffly

” I mean you look great, seriously” i breathe a sigh of relief laughing to cover my awkwardness.

“thank you i decided to loose a few pounds and well it worked!”

they smile at me “well have a seat we’ll order and we can catch up!” Archie offers and i nod slipping into the booth opposite Betty Kevin and the other girl.

“you going to introduce me to your pretty friend?”

i ask glancing at Betty

“oh of course this is Veronica Lodge-”

“Ronnie works” she smiles at me

“im (y/n) Andrews im-” “Archie’s twin?”

i nod “obvious?” i mentally face palm “yeah the red hairs a bit of a giveaway” i nod my brother sliding into the seat next to me.

“so you’ve met my sister ronnie” she nods sipping her milkshake “I sure have, will you be going to school this semester”

i nod “i sure am, now both the crazy red headed twins will be attending Riverdale hey arch” i nudge my brother.

it falls silent at my comment and i shift uncomfortably

“oh my god- what did I say?” i glance around Veronica looking equally confused.

“what other twins” she askes confused

“the blossoms..” i finish

“(y/n) I thought I told you about Jason in the car” i furrow my eyebrows at him “I just came from the airport arch i was half asleep and jet lagged i don’t think I was really paying all too much attention to you” i laugh.

“god please don’t tell me their dead- i was going to ask Cheryl for my spot back on the vixens, I miss cheer the girls in Chicago were awful”

still silence

“Jesus will someone tell me what’s going on” my brother touches my shoulder gently

“Jason was killed a few months ago- it was the Fourth of July weekend-” i zone out my breathe catching in my throat.

this is why mum didn’t want me to return home, there’s a murder running around. everything makes sense now while it seemed so eerie when I first got back and how mum refused to let me contact anyone from back home including Archie the past month.

“wow” i exhale “i had no idea- but polly oh my god Betty your sister must be devastated” she nods inhaling sharply let i said something wrong.

I glance down to my food not feeling hungry at all “um arch can we go home im not feel so hot I think I need some rest before tomorrow”

he nods “of course” “ill see you guys tomorrow” i smile waving goodbye to my friends before following my brother out of Pops and into his truck

“you okay?” i nod my attention slipping away “yeah just a lot to process that’s all” he nods pulling out of the parking lot driving toward home.

and you couldn’t help but think something was off something was missing or maybe it wasn’t a something it was a someone

one week since u looked at me

James and LIly fight and it’s 100% the other person’s fault, and everyone is just a little bit unhinged. 

3371 Words

For @expressopatronum​, who requested a jily fic based on the Barenaked Ladies song. :D


James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: well. Fuck.

James Potter: im broken up

James Potter: literally

James Potter: and metaphorically

James Potter: and every other kind of shitty ally tbh

James Potter: hello?????

James Potter: im in Crisis here

Peter Pettigrew: we know, mate. You ok?

James Potter: how??

Peter Pettigrew: well…

James Potter: she texted u???

Remus Lupin: she texted me

Peter Pettigrew: then he told us

Remus Lupin: wtf, Prongs

James Potter: u believe her???

Remus Lupin: didn’t say that, mate. Just a weird situation, yeah??

James Potter: Weird = shitty, then yea. her fault tho for being so dramatic!! And do u arseholes have a group chat w/out me???

Sirius Black: nah. y would we do smth like that to u prongs. go chill @ mine. AND i for one am being a good mate and withholding judgment. (except on evans cos shes clearly at fault here)

James Potter: damn straight she is. 100%!!! and im already @ urs, actually. where r u tho?

Sirius Black: alcohol

James Potter: Good Man

Remus Lupin: I’m getting pizza

James Potter: don’t bother?? never eating again

James Potter: PS no more talking to evans unless its for espionage

Peter Pettigrew: this should be fun

 - - -

 James Potter to Not Lovely Lily: ready for ur apology, like, whenever, babe

James Potter: no?

James Potter: sirius’s sofa is super fucking cosy, btw

James Potter: PS whatever the current differences between us, pls dont stoop so low as to eat Mums biscuits

Keep reading

Day 1: My room turned into a ocean. I swear I found fishes and sharks swarming into my lungs. Or maybe that was the remains of you trying not to escape but desperately needing to
Day 2: You weren’t at school today and I should’ve been happy, I was more sad
Day 3: I thought I was ready to move on, then I saw you with her.
Day 4: We haven’t spoken in days now. My mind thinks its being shoved off a cliff.
Day 5: I wish it would just hit the bottom
Day 6: This will be the first weekend we dont hang out. I know you’ll be seeing her and I know youll be smiling without me. I’m trying hard to learn how to too
Day 7: I asked you for help on a history assignment and you replied with “Ask Amber im busy”. I texted back: “Tell Emma I said hi”
Day 8: You posted a video with her on the only social media site you have. When I saw it I erupted. I spewed lava every where, oh god its every where
Day 9: My mom made me sleep next to her on the couch. She was afraid I would try and do something like I did two years ago when another guy tore up my heart. I actually had thought about it
Day 10: I slept in your sweatshirt one last time so i can feel myself engulfed in you. I know you wanted them back so I had to feel you and smell you one last time.
Day 11: I gave you all of your stuff back and you thought I looked like a warrior but really I went home and tried getting you out of my bloodstream
Day 12: when will my eyes stop flowing?
Day 13: I snuck out with a boy and smoked weed on his couch. He talked about love and how much it hurt. I only pictured you.
Day 14: I woke up next to that same boy and I woke up screaming. The boy was worried and confused but I knew why I screamed. I imagined you laying with another girl on your couch. I ran out of his house so fast you’d think Id be better at running from you.
Day 15: Its spring break and im with my best friend and your with her and i swear i can feel you tracing her spine the way you used to trace mine
Day 16: I ignored your birthday and it felt worse than the puking i did that night
Day 17: Im treading icy water while you’re swimming away from me, I guess I just hope you’ll loop around and find your way back to the shattered, but still there, us
Day 18: I don’t remember the sound of your voice I don’t remember the color of your eyes I don’t remember your the taste of your lips
Day19: No amount of screaming gets your name out of my head
Day 20: I got on a plane today and when we took off I swear i almost walked to the door and started flying
Day 21: They say it takes 21 days fo break a habit but I think I just manage to fall more in love with a greedy monster
Day 22: I saw you today and wished you a happy late birthday and promised we’d watch the third Hobbit together. I’m beginning to hate myself more
Day 23: Its the end of the month maybe next month won’t be filled with thoughts of you and killing myself. i think im beginning to be over you
Day 24: april fools
Day 25: i think i understand now. when you first told me you loved me your mouth curled up on the edges, two days before you left when i gave my bare self to you your mouth was a straight line when saying i love you
Day 26: if you’re trying to kill me its working
Day 27: i woke up this morning to my blankets and pillows piled in a corner in my room. its something s ghost would do to make his presence known. im haunting myself. or maybe its the ghost of us tsking over my body
Day 28: its almost been a month since you told me it was never me. i almost texted you happy easter but i saw those text messages and just got angry
Day 29: I hate that you act like you didnt break my heart. i hate that you think im fine that im not writing a shit poem sbout your shit personality
Day 30: thirty days since you’ve wanted me. thirty days since i told you i love you. thirty days since you’ve slipped from my fingers. i tried catching you. you’ve been gone far too long. thirty days is too long
Day 31: i had a nightmare last night about you. you told me you loved me and kissed my forehead. i woke up breathing heavily and shaking. i want you out of my life
Day 32: running on no sleep isn’t fun
Day 33: ive been awake for over 50 hours in fear that ill see you in my dreams again. i cant risk that. it hurts so much. get out of my head
Day 34: my mother told me that love will do this. that its cruel and torturous and breaks you into such little pieces not even yourself can pick up all the pieces. you know where they all are, please come back and pick them up
Day 35: i talked to another guy last night we stayed up late and he asked me questions about you. we were sober so it wasn’t easy spitting up vowels and similies and euphemisms explaining the empty feeling in my chest after you left
Day 36: fuck if i stopped seeing you everyday i swear id be over you.
Day 37: my knee didnt touch your leg like it used it i promise i didnt do that fuck
Day 38: you told me that the wrinkles on my leg bothered you when i sat down. thats not what you said when we were trying not to get caught in the back of your car
Day 39: you told me you’d take me to prom and in two days itll just be another day you promised to spend with me. its funny how our plans turned to dust in a matter of seconds after cleaning
Day 40: the thunderstorm of us was inside of you and maybe that why it felt so close. i keep counting the seconds between the boom and light hoping you arent moving away buy i fear that you are already letting others feel your storm. the plants you grew are dying. maybe you should come back to water them
Day 41: ten days since its been a month since you left. i cried at prom because all i could look for in the crowd was you.
Day 42: i got so drunk all i could see was your face. the guy i fucked kept telling me his name wasn’t yours. i just screamed and cried because you’re all i still think about despite your efforts to continue to push me away
Day 43: i should be getting high today but if i do ill just write more and think more about a guy who will never care
Day 44: i think im trying to gain feelings for someone else because it’ll make moving on from you easier. im afraid to write that it hasnt
Day 45: you traces my leg like you used to. it was like dandelion tea. it made my insides fill with happiness. you’re my yellow paint.
Day 46: Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would put happiness inside him. He would consume it everyday in the hopes that it would bring his sadness to rest despite the fact that it could kill him first. i gues you were my yellow paint emphasis on the were. see im not going to write about you anymore, because when i write you down im under the impression that you’ll stay with the words but you don’t. this is the last sentence I’ll ever write about you

paladins + tech hcs
  • shiro says he doesn’t mind, but he’s an apple guy at heart
    • don’t tell anyone but he just thinks his new, shiny, silver arm looks pretty dang great next to his shiny macbook and his space grey iphone. it’s for the aesthetic, lads
    • (space instagram goes crazy for it)
  • his iphone has a word password he doesn’t tell ANYONE and it’s always capitalised or has a number somewhere. he doesn’t even use touch id in case someone tries to force him into unlocking it. he values his privacy!
    • (by that, he means he values people not seeing his awkward ‘flirting’ with matt over text. most of it is star wars references.)
    • when he was at the garrison, keith tries to unlock shiro’s phone while he’s sleeping by pressing his thumb to the home button. it doesn’t work with any finger. when keith looks at shiro, he’s not even sleeping and looking at him with the biggest shit-eating grin
  • pidge can use any laptop immediately but is a windows supremacist. she appreciates the aesthetic from apple and everything but you can’t play ANY good pc games on mac so
  • lance: hey my mac is acting weird. can you help me pidge?
  • pidge: maybe you should have fucking thought twice about buying a macbook huh lance
    • screams when her faithful dell laptop lags and and lance’s macbook is still going strong
    • (also shushes her laptop when the fan whirrs. “don’t admit defeat now chad”)
  • lance shops exclusively at apple. probably has the rose gold 6s
    • “hey lance the leaked iphone 8 has no home button” “what the fuck”
    • “lance the leaks say that it doesn’t have touch id either??” “what the FUCK”
  • allergic to xperias. samsungs are okay, but they’re on thin ice. lance genuinely thinks he will Die if he ever lays his eyes on a windows phone bc the shock will kill him
  • “are you really poc if you don’t have whatsapp” -lance mcclain 2017
  • hunk doesn’t…. mind? and unlike shiro he truly means it. he doesn’t see or get the difference- considering processors, ram, and everything, there’s not too big of a gap. 
  • if he had to pick, he’d pick hp but only because that’s the only one he really knows/has ever owned
  • probably has a big samsung phone. his hands are Large and it’s hard for him to use little screens.
  • hunk knows he says he doesn’t mind, but he also can’t use macs.
    • is That Guy who curses under his breath when he realises the command/control button is placed differently on macs
  • keith has a fucking nokia
  • still thinks sony ericsson/walkman flip phones are on the market and are also The Best. he idolises the red ones. hunk has to break the news gently
  • when he finally gets a smartphone, it’s an 2015 sony android he got second hand. keith loves it and lance nearly has a stroke when he sees it
    • lance, mortified: what is that. what is that. keith, what is t
    • keith: it was red! :(
  • lance takes EVERY opportunity to get rid of it. he swears it’s cursed because it always finds it’s way back to keith. always.
    • he first just tries to break it and make it look like an accident, but he forgets xperias are virtually indestructible
    • lance later flushes it down the toilet, but it clogs the pipes and coran has to fish it out. 
    • keith: hey, thank god that it’s waterproof, huh?
    • lance, clutching his still-not-waterproof iphone in pure rage: :) yeah how lucky
    • the next time they’re on an friendly alien planet, lance yeets that shit out the closest window just as they’re about to leave. one of the friendly aliens thought it was an accident and brings it back to them just before they launch. keith is thankful. lance is This Close to just dying
    • he takes the battery out so it’s useless and keith has to trash it, and throws that down a random vent. pidge brings it back
  • keith also thinks alienware/gamer laptops look cool
  • lance introduces allura to the rose gold iphone and allura has actually never Shut Up about it since
  • (on that note, coran thinks the gold iphone is great but settles for his altean tech. he likes the idea of ipods and really likes earth music too!!)
    • allura: you earthlings are so slow with technology! this ‘phone’ is blocky, heavy and
    • lance: i can just take it back, then..?
    • allura: you will have to pry this shiny, pink, archaic little device from my cold dead hands. just fucking try me lance

“Is it wrong to like…LIKE another person??” Dan said, leaning against the countertop. He was keeping Arin company while he did the dishes; didnt want to leave him there doing chores he honestly didnt NEED to do. (“The dishwasher is full and i really, REALLY dont want to leave any dishes in the sink until tomorrow morning”)

Arin wordlessly removed one of his earbuds, ear flicking in Dans general direction to try and hear him better.

“Say that again, ive got music playing too fucking loud to actually understand you over this running water.”

Dan stared at the pile of dishes in the sink, idly rubbing the dip of his gills along his neck. (‘Theyre getting kinda dry’ he thought)

“I was uhh, i was talking to Brian yesterday. Because you know, hes old-”

Arin snorted.

“- and hes been alive for awhile. So he tends to have alot of answers for things. But i think he falls a bit…short… on mortal…issues.”

Keep reading

Twin Andrews Part 2 | jughead x reader

Originally posted by rebel-heda

Originally posted by fiftyshadesofroden

part one:

part three:

a/n: part two of twin andrews is here!! if you love it and want more make sure to send me a request for a part three!! love u nugs🌹

“wow V” i chuckle as we walk out of the gym “i can’t believe you got Betty onto the squad” we all laugh and Betty smiles admiringly to her friend.

“it’s about time we had a cooper on the squad” i chuckle looping my arm in the blondes “thank you both- this has been a dream since like forever-” she swoons grabbing her heart.

“you wish is our demand” Veronica tells her friend as we bow jokingly in front of her we all laugh holding a new uniforms in our hands “should we try them out for size?” i nod eager to get into something that was familiar.

we pile into the girls change room and put on our uniforms “im a vixen!!” Betty squeals jumping up at down and swishing her mini skirt.

“B can you zip me up?” i pull my red hair aside as she zips me up

“wow (y/n/n) looking hot!” Veronica exclaims fanning herself cause me to stick my tongue out at her “why thank you miss V”

we walk out of the changing rooms head held high, it started to finally feel like i was finally getting back into my old life, the one i left a year ago for with my mum. I find myself smiling at my friends glad that i came back, i needed them and I didn’t know that till this very moment.

“have you spoken to Archie?” i was snapped out of my thoughts

“spoken to him about what?” i ask stopping at my locker to grab a few books “Betty didn’t tell you?” i shrug feeling someone’s eyes on me “tell me what?” i press.

“she doesn’t need to know-” Betty stumbled with her words, i furrow my eyebrow hitting myself in the head with my chemistry book “if this is about B having a crush on him then yes i know” i roll my eyes.

walking backwards i giggle at Betty’s blushed cheeks, ronnie joins in on the giggle nudging the blonde with her elbow “approve?” she questions and i nod winking st the girls

“look i gotta go- Pop’s after school to celebrate? we have our very first Cooper and Lodge girl that means milkshakes and burgers on me” i ask glancing at the clock it was the last lesson and I was craving one of pops famous burgers

“sounds like a good idea!” Betty smiles at me “good see ya’s later”

i turn on my heels and collide with another body sending me to a heap on the floor, i land on the victims chest and we bop heads “fuck!” i cuss rubbing my head.

i didn’t get a chance to see his face before i tried to stand instantly going dizzy, hands dart to my waist keeping me steady.

“woah easy there Andrews” i instantly recognised the voice “Jughead?” i exclaim glances at his face taking in all his features and that old beanie of his “oh my god” i throw my arms around him as he circle my waist.

“i wow you look-” i step back glancing at him “you look good juggie” i hug him once more and he freezes before hugging me back. “still not a hugger?” i ask and he shakes his head.

“no but you’ve always seemed to be the exception” i laugh “id love to stay and talk but i have chem-” he smiles “me too, walk together?” i nod following the boy

“so how come you weren’t at Pop’s last night for my big return, i knew something was missing but Archie didn’t mention anything” he goes quite so i figure I’ve hit a nerve.

“how are things?” i ask changing the subject “yeah okay” his voice sounds strained “are you sure?” i press “im here aren’t i?” i bite my lip and walk next to him in silence earning a few glances from peers, a river vixen walking with an ‘outcast’.

“this is us” he point to the class i follow him in just as the second bell rang others scrambling into their seats as Mr Hill slips in behind us “seats everybody” i gulp glances around desperately for a seat i forget we’d be in pairs.

all eyes are on me and within seconds the class is buzzing in soft whispers “Andrews” i hear jughead call sitting a few desks back, he gestures to the open seat next to him and gladly slip into it “thanks jones”.

he nods glancing to the front of the class “welcome back miss andrews” Mr Hill greets me “good to be back” i clear my throat awkwardly the eyes of my classmates piercing into me.

“so the hotter Andrews is finally back” i turn in my seat to see Reggie smirking in his seat running his hands through his hair “Reggie Mantle, god even Chicago couldn’t erase your idiot voice from my brain” i smile sweetly batting my eyelashes before facing forward rolling my eyes.

jughead laughs at my comment and i smile at him “baby you couldn’t forget me if you tried” i shake my head facing forward “oh but baby It’s not your devilish good looks that made you memorable it was more what you were lacking in you know where”

the class erupts in laughter and i smirk at my victory “ive always liked you feisty my little river vixen” he purs.

“enough” our teacher yells standing and scribbling notes on the board “good to be back” i mumble catching Reggies sleazy glances in the car of my eye “gross”

i mumble copying the notes “you okay?” jughead whispers “yeah just sleaze ball taking a little bit of a long look” i gesture to Reggie with my pencil and Jughead narrows his eyes at the boy.

“yeah he definitely hasn’t changed since you left” i laugh trying to hold in my giggles and people’s eyes start to stray from the board to me.

“hey juggie” he murmurs glancing to the board then back to his book “Betty & Veronica wanted to go to Pop’s after school to celebrate them making the team- do you maybe wanna come?”

he puts down his pencil facing me “andrews are you asking me out?” i jolt up shaking my head furiously

“no i um no i was just-” i give up when i realise im no longer speaking English “what i meant to say is that no the whole gangs going to be there and i want to hear more about what’s happening around here- Betty told me you’ve been writing about Jason”

he turns to the front nodding “ill be there, we can talk about Jason another time when it’s just the two of us” i nod returning to my work.

“why aren’t we celebrating you becoming a vixen?” i roll my eyes “ive been on the squad since freshman year juggie it’s not that big of a deal” i tease clicking my pen.

“noted” he replies focusing his full attention to the white board.



i turn to see my brother jogging over to me looking slightly puffed “you good?” i ask continuing to walk my brother following hot on my heels, i was eager to get out of this damn school and to Pop’s.

“are you going to the dance tonight?” i knit my brows “what dance?” i question approaching my locker to grab a few books slipping them into my bag.

“the school dance- its tonight- Betty asked if I’d go with her and Ronnie” i close my locker “she what?” i say surprised.

“i- i dunno she just asked if I’d go with them and i said yes which means you have to okay!” i grown “arch i don’t want to go to a stupid school dance” he grabs me by the shoulders pulling me toward him “please!” he begs.

i remove his hands from his shoulders and start the walk to his car, “please please please please please” i block him out taking long strides to reach Archie’s truck.

“open the damn truck arch” he shakes his head “Archie! Open the damn truck” i yell frustration consuming me at how annoying my brother was being “i swear to god Archibald is you do not open this door i will kill you!” i hiss and he shakes his head.

“ill open the door if you come to the dance” i groan resting my head against the door “fine fine! ill go” i say in defeat earning a happy yell from my brother followed by the beeps of the car being unlocked “hallelujah” i mumble getting into the car.

“Betty and Veronica are going to the mall to buy a dress so ill drop you off and you can pick out something nice okay” he teases smiling stupidly at you “why don’t we both ditch and order in watch a movie something actually enjoyable” i offer clasping my hands together to beg.

“no, i can’t let them go by themselves” i smack his arm “um why the bloody hell not? we can take care of ourselves yanno” i tell him irritation itching at me.

“oh well it’s your first social event back- you need this” i ignore him glancing out the window as he pulls into the parking lot of the mall “bye sissy” he teases. i slam his truck door and flip him off as he drives away.

“jerk” i mumble

“you made it!” i walk toward the blonde and the raven headed girls “i made it” i smile at them as they loop their arms in mine “let’s get you a killer dress” i tell Betty as we walk into the complex and she blushes

“archie tell you?” i nod “when were you going to tell me you asked my brother out?!” i exclaim bumping her shoulder “i didn’t ask him out i asked him to the dance with V it’s not like it’s a date”

“whatever you say coops” i wink at her and run my fingers across the nearest dress rack “wish i had someone to go to the dance with” i think aloud flicking through the hangers.

“what about Jughead? Yous seemed pretty cozy in the hall” Betty speaks up curiosity filling her voice “oh my god!” i exclaim cursing.

the mention of his name reminds me that we were supposed to be meeting at Pops now “shit shit shit” i smack my forehead trying not to think about how hurt he’s going to be when he shows up and none of us being there

“what’s wrong?” Ronnie asks concerned her arms full of dresses “i invited Jughead to Pops tonight and i totally spaced” i tell them guilty “im sure he’ll understand” Betty tries to comfort me placing a hand on my shoulder.

“i hope so” i sulk “do you know what happened with him and my brother?” she shakes her head “they haven’t really spoken since before summer break i don’t think they spoke for the whole summer” i gulp, great what the hell happened.

the rest of the shopping trip i spent too engulfed in my own thoughts and theories about my brother and his former bestfriend that i barely noticed buying a dress and getting to Betty’s house.

“earth to (y/n)” im snapped out of my thoughts by Ronnie, she waves the curling wand in front of my face “you almost ready Arch will be here soon” i nod finishing off my hair and grabbing my dress “ill just change and ill be down before you know it”

“okay we’ll be outside”

i nod closing the door and quickly changing into my dress sliding on my heels and applying another coat of lipstick before glancing at myself in the mirror. i didn’t look half bad i smile at my reflection before the tooting of a horn brings me back to earth

“really archie? i was coming jesus” i complain opening the front door of Betty’s house and walking down the driveway to meet my brother the girls already tucked into the car

“wow little sis you look decent when you put in effort”

i gasp shoving him in the chest “your 10 minutes older than me okay-”

he rolls his eyes at me and mockingly opens the door for me, i smile sarcastically at him and slip in the passenger seat “the quicker we get there the quicker we can get home” i think aloud

“c'mon it can’t be that bad” Veronica teased but i just shook my head “you have no idea”

a/n: sorry for it being long and kinda poopy im in the midst of starting a new part it’s just with the ending i wanted for this is would’ve taken SO LONG! but be excited for part three because their will be lots of jughead x reader fluff! so if you’d like that PLEASE (im low key begging you) to just type a ‘part 3’ or ‘i really like this series or just SOMETHING. silent readers get me down!

and as always requests are wide open my friend feel free to drop a question or a request, love hearing from you nuggets!


TAG LIST AS PROMISED: @smadrat @natalieroseg @isak-lo @lena-light

brandon uranowitz @ 54 below

OKAY IM WRITING THIS BEFORE I FORGET. this is lowkey out of order too oops

Keep reading


I know I haven’t been on here in awhile, but recent events made me feel the need to make this post.

So far, at the time of me writing this, there are 59 people dead. 59.

I grew up in a gun-loving house. I was shooting a goddamn AK47 as a teenager, so before any of you gun loving assholes start spewing your “you just don’t understand!!!” bullshit- trust me, I do understand. I grew up with it. I know.

I’m not gonna sit here and say that ALL guns should be banned, because it’s not even worth my breath. That’s clearly not gonna happen anytime soon. But that man had, what, 30 guns in his hotel room? Semis and automatics? And a fucking endless stream of ammo? There is no reason ANYBODY should have goddamn automatics.

You want a small handgun in your house? Fine, whatever. Only one allowed. Bring it outside your house? Get fucking arrested for all I care. Shotguns for hunters? Fine. Only ones that have to be reloaded after every shot. Handguns for park rangers (in case of wild animals or whatever)? Fine. But you can’t get that job without a full metal assessment, proper training, etc. and the gun should be checked out in the morning, then returned at the end of the shift. You’re immediately fired and reported the second you’re caught tryna head home with it.

We need ammo records and regulations. No one should be able to buy that amount of ammo. We need a way to keep track of it, that way if someone is buying or trying to buy that much ammo, we can put a fucking stop to it.

Are you some gun freak, some big dudebro who gets off on holding your manly phallic shaped people killer? Fine, we’ll still have shooting ranges. But the guns are owned by the range and not to leave the range. They’re to be checked out, and you’re unable to leave the place without checking it back in. You must provide ID and sign a waver (or something like that) that says if you so much as step a toe in an unregulated space with a gun, you’re arrested. Even with all of that, still no semis or automatics.

If you have a gun and it is used to kill anybody, even if you’re not the one who pulled the trigger, YOU get charged with something like accessory to murder. Yes, even if your gun is stolen. Yes, even if your white 15 year old quiet loner son kills (or intends to kill, or attempts to kill) someone with it.

Anybody found with a semi? Arrested and fined up the ass. Show any signs of violent tendencies or something that so much as hints a possibility of being capable of murdering anybody? You’re not allowed to have a gun, and anybody who gives you access to their own gun gets their gun and their permit taken away from them.

Every year, all gun owners regardless of what type of gun they own must report the amount of ammo they used, reregister their gun, retake a course on gun safety/laws, and get another mental assessment. You’re also to pay a fee. Get caught tryna lie about the amount of ammo used (we’d be able to tell since we’d have records of it)? Get your permit taken away for life. Obviously not a count of every single individual bullet, but of how many packs you use. At the end of the year, even if you only use one bullet (like for self defense) the packs you did not use still must be accounted for.</p>

Caught trying to skip your yearly registration? Get your permit taken away for life. Caught with a gun without your permit? (even if you have one, it must be on you at all times you have the gun.) Get it taken away.

Anybody caught trying to buy or sell a gun illegally, a gun with its serial number scratched off, or using/buying/selling unregistered ammo gets arrested, fined, and gets their permit taken away. If, say, a man gets caught with an illegal gun, but his wife has a permit and has never done anything to warrant her license getting taken away, she gets it taken away anyway since the husband would still have access to it.

Basically, it’s about fucking time we have strict gun control. It’s about fucking time we stop sitting back and watching shit like this happen, then scratching our heads and saying “hmm, there’s nothing we can do about it!” The excuse “well if somebody starts shooting people, it’d be safer to have some good guys with guns to stop the shooter!” doesn’t fucking matter. This man was in a hotel room shooting from his window. It took fucking swat teams to stop him. A “good guy” with a gun couldn’t do shit in this situation. But you know what would help? This guy never having goddamn assault rifles at all.

Lastly, I can’t remember the exact words so this is just me paraphrasing, but the quote “whenever there’s a mass shooting by a lone gunman, we always talk about the ‘lone’ and the 'gun’ but never the 'man’” is beyond relevant to this tragedy. Male violence is a pandemic, it’s the deadliest fucking plague on earth and we need to put an end to it. We need to acknowledge this for what it is: domestic terrorism. But of course, no one will call it terrorism because the dude was white. Instead, we’ll just blame mental illness or violent video games…but that’s a whole other post that I’ll get into later, when it’s not 11:30 and I’m half awake.

Is all of this just wishful thinking? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean we should just quit fighting.

Rest In Peace to all the victims, and so much love to their families and friends. Maybe this tragedy will finally be the wake up call this country needed, and maybe it’ll encourage more and more people to say “enough is enough” and never let another tragedy like this happen again.

A tweet “sending prayers” won’t do anything, we need to stand up and actually make a fucking change.

College!AU Hoshi
  • major: acting 
  • minor: sociology 
  • sports: tried out for baseball team with seokmin but dropped it freshman year 
  • clubs: on campus dance team, theater ensemble 
  • like his best friend seokmin, hoshi is incredibly popular on campus. everyone knows him because he’s always being goofy w/seokmin or reciting lines from his memory in the quad while standing atop on of the benches
  • anyone who’s walked from one class to another has probably met hoshi on their way and hoshi probably gave them a flyer advertising the theater ensembles next performance and then made them pinky promise to come
  • and like people always go because hoshi is a natural born actor who manages to captivate people like magic and it’s obvious he’s going to make it 
  • choose sociology as a major to better understand human relationships and situations brought about in the real world and how to display them accurately through the characters he plays 
  • people are always telling him to audition for movies or tv shows and the thing is hoshi is much more in love with theater than he is with being on tv. his favorite thing ever is musical theater and aside from being the lead almost all the time , he also choreographs a lot of the dancing in the college productions 
  • everyone in the acting major calls him ‘genius 10:10:’ and one of his classes starts at 10:10am and the second he walks through the door he’s just like *finger guns* “it’s hoshi time”
  • the professor: no it’s ‘contemporary women playwrights’ class time. hoshi sit down
  • sometimes he’ll do method acting and come into class with a british accent or he’ll come in wearing a hakch’angui and everyones like ???? but hoshi has literally no sense of embarrassment 
  • makes business major mingyu practice his lines with him during lunch and mingyu’s like “literally. id rather be studying finances right now.” and hoshi’s like “read your lines.” and mingyu *trying to mimic a high pitched voice* “o-oh prince of my dre-” hoshi: “no no no, say it more romantically.” mingyu: “…….i will kill you.”
  • the theater majors have parties every time they complete one of their shows and honestly it’s like the most lit even on campus because everyone’s dancing around in the empty theater drunk out of their mind, playing around with props, and still in campus and whoever told you theater majors don’t know how to have fun is a LIAR hoshi tried to climb the curtains at one of the parties while still wearing his outfit from ‘peter-pan’ and claiming he was searching for captain hook, who, coincidentally had passed out in one the dressing rooms. tl;dr: theater majors get WILD
  • but otherwise hoshi’s the outgoing guy on campus who everyone wants to befriend or hangout with because he’s funny, cute, can dance, and will imitate your favorite actors if you ask him 
  • and you know him, you’ve been to a couple of the college theater’s shows and you’re impressed by him like everyone else. you never really think about approaching him though because his circle of friends is big enough so it’s more of like you know the name hoshi, but beyond that you two are strangers
  • which is why when you drop by the theater to ask if anyone has seen your friend who’s also part of the ensemble you’re surprised to see that hoshi is alone there pacing up and down the stage in a panic
  • and you call out to him like ask if he’s seen your friend around
  • and hoshi turns to you and jumps off the stage and makes a damn beeline to where you’re standing near the last row of seats and like
  • you’ve never seen him up close but now he’s standing like 4 feet away from your face and hurriedly he explains that your friend canceled on practicing with him because of a test and now there’s no one here to practice with and opening night is tomorrow and he’s basically like a frantic mess
  • and you’re like ?@@?@?!?@?!?!?/ “im sorry????? can’t you ask someone else-” and hoshi is shaking his head like “mingyu’s at study hall, wonwoo’s not answering his phone, minghao never reads lines with me, and seokmin- that rascal - he’s got a baseball game!” 
  • and then ………. and then hoshi snaps his fingers and his face completely changes and he’s like “are you free right now?”
  • and you can tell where this is going and you want to lie and be like “oooo i have lab gtg” but then again you don’t have lab and also you don’t want to lie to this person whose obviously in need of help and so you swallow and nod and hoshi smiles 
  • and stretches out to take your hand and put the script he’s holding into it 
  • and that’s how you find yourself standing on stage. alone. with hoshi. 
  • and out of all the plays it’s pride and prejudice (the musical version apparently) and the lines hoshi needs to practice the most are from darcy’s famous confession and like
  • as he’s getting into character you’re like sweating stammering over ur lines as elizabeth and like when ur done hoshi suddenly changes from a lively smiley boy you know him best as to this cold look in his eyes and he takes a step forward confidently and like 
  • the lines of the confession are really mature and use a lot of large words and hoshi sounds so eloquent and his tone drops to be lower and you’re honestly spellbound when he reaches out to touch your face and you’re supposed to smack his hand away but like ,,,, you can’t 
  • this serious side of hoshi, although it’s for the character he’s playing, has you basically starstruck and after a minute of just staring at him with your mouth open hoshi backs away and starts laughing like 
  • “are you frozen??” and you feel yourself turning red and you’re like “n-n-no!! i just- you got close so-” and hoshi points to the script like “yeah, i have to get close. but…..ill let you off since this is your first time doing a read-through. let’s try it again?”
  • and so you stand there on the stage with him and time passes and after a while you find yourself having a lot of fun, mostly do in part to how playful and encouraging hoshi is
  • like you’ve never acted in your life and all he needs you to do is read the words on the paper and do basic movements, but hoshi makes it fun and he compliments you on even the slightest thing and you’re like “he’s being friendly, don’t fall for it.” buT HOW Can you not 
  • his smiling face, his ability to make you feel at ease, the way he’s just so so so nice about everything
  • your heart just,,,,,,it just cracks 
  • finally you check your watch and see that’s already past 8 and you’re like fRICK i need to get to my dorm and start studying for tomorrows class and so you bow to hoshi and say you have to go
  • but before you grab your bag and run he takes a hold of your hand and pulls you back and is like “remember how i said tomorrow is opening night? promise you’ll come? the shows at 10!” and you nod like yeah yeah but you’re not thinking straight because you’re in panic trying to remember if tomorrow’s class has a quiz or not
  • and so you run out after he lets you go and you don’t see because you’re busy trying to sprint across campus but hoshi grins to himself and thinks he needs to put on a really good show tomorrow, better than usual, since someone he likes will be watching 
  • but the next day the fact that hoshi’s show is opening completely escapes your mind because it turns out there was a quiz and you’re so tired because you got to the dorm late and ended up studying the wrong section of your book and now you’re like im getting a ZERO its over and like everything else escapes you
  • it’s only when it’s around 10 pm and you get a text from your roommate that’s like “im gong to be late, @ the theater for pride and prejudice (:” and you’re like “ahhh sounds so fun………”
  • and then as you’re literally in bed in your pajamas about to Knock Out your eyes open and you’re like 
  • but before you rush out in your mickey mouse pj’s you fall back on your bed and mumble that hey, you two aren’t even that close, he won’t mind or care
  • and with that it’s light out for you
  • but at the theater hoshi keeps scanning the crowd and seokmin’s whose backstage to wish him luck is like ??? my dude what are you looking for ?? and hoshi’s like “do you know this person……” and he says your name, describes how you look and seokmin’s like yEah i know them but why - you’re friends?? and hoshi’s like “if you see them, tell them to come backstage after - i owe them a thanks.” and seokmin shurgs like ok got it
  • but the show comes to an end and seokmin’s like sorry they didn’t show and hoshi’s smile falters and it’s the first time the rest of the theater ensemble has ever seen him look so defeated after opening night
  • and for the week after hoshi keeps thinking maybe you’ll stop by one of the shows but you never do because you think hoshi’s long forgot about your favor for him
  • until you’re sitting in the campus cafe with your laptop and someone taps your shoulder and you turn around to see minghao who you know from one of your classes and you’re like ??? and minghao gives you a note and he’s like
  • “hoshi told me to give this to you. i don’t know why he couldn’t do it himself, but he paid me so here i am.” and you take the note and open it and its tickets to the theater ensemble’s show + a message that says for you to stick around after the show is over and honestly you’re Confused
  • and you ask minghao if he can tell you where hoshi is right now and minghao’s like “sorry, hoshi paid me not to say that either.” 
  • you: how much 
  • minghao: 25 bucks. you wanna best the offer?
  • you:……………nvm then
  • and like minghao waves and leaves and you’re looking at the tickets and the note and you’re just like maybe he did notice the fact that i didn’t come to opening night?? 
  • but like you don’t want to jump to conclusions so you’re like you know a little hesitant in even going but you decide it’d be rude to pass up so you go
  • and the show, as expected, is amazing. hoshi does such a good job he makes the audience cry and people are going up at the end to hand him flowers and praise him and everyone’s chattering about hoshi and his parts
  • and you nervously stand around near the back row, unsure of what exactly you’re supposed to do since hoshi told you to stick around when suddenly the girl who played elizabeth comes up and takes your hand and is like “c’mon!” and you’re like AH?? and she’s like giggling and dragging you beind the stage
  • and the rest of the students, still in costume, greet you and finally she stops in front of someone with their back turned and she’s like “i brought them - Mr. Darcy!”
  • and you’re like ????? what the hell is this a movie?? am i dreaming?? am i on prank’d-
  • and the person turns and it’s hoshi still in costume (this story takes place in 18th century england so please imagine hoshi in breeches w like those coats and a puffy neck scarf p l e as e) and you’re like holding back a laugh and suddenly he starts speaking lines from the confession 
  • “in vain I have struggled. It will not do. my feelings will not be repressed. you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire-” 
  • and someones from the back is like “WE GET IT DARCY JUST ASK THEM ON THE DATE”
  • and hoshi is like im GEtting TO it 
  • and tbh like it’s hoshi he wanted asking you out on a date to be dramatic and extra by literally asking you out in character but you know his theatermates are right he needs to get to the point
  • and so hoshi is like “im glad you could make it this time, but because you technically broke the promise you made to meeeeeeeeeeee how about making it up with dinner??”
  • and you’re Shocked to say the least 
  • because you’re not sure /why/ he’s asking you out like the only time you ever got relatively close is when you helped him and that was just the case of being in the right place at the right time 
  • BUT it’s not like you’re going to say no because hello it’s hoshi and you shyly nod and the entire ensemble breaks out into applause and hoshi tries to say something again in his character voice and you’re like “please don’t come dressed like that to dinner, i will pretend not to know you” and hoshi’s like “noted”
  • the dinner date is nothing like the actually invitation, it’s surprisingly nice and in this cozy little restaurant and hoshi tells you about himself and asks you about you and you’re like this is so calm and ………..unexpected
  • and tbh you’re a little like “this isn’t what i thought he’d be like.” and as hoshi is walking you to your dorm he’s like “listen, seokmin said that i need to tone it down sometimes so i hope this date was ok and i didn’t annoy by blabbering or something-” and you’re like 
  • “did seokmin suggest you take me to the restaurant?” and hoshi’s like “yeah, how’d you know?”
  • and you bite your lip to not laugh and you’re like “it’s just……it’s just so not your style!” and hoshi breaks into his own chuckle and he’s like “i kNOW right! i wanted to take you to dance practice with me but seokmin said that’d be too overwhelming or something like that!”
  • and you’re like “hey, second date - how about you teach me some dance movies or theater lines?” and hoshi grins and leans in a bit closer and he’s like “this is why i knew i liked you!” and he’s close and you’re kinda like akhflekjw but then you lean in and peck his cheek like “the date was still fun because it was with you anyway text me bye”
  • and you run inside and hoshi touches his cheek and like five minutes later you get a text 
  • but when you open it it’s a selfie of hoshi and he’s drawn a little heart on his cheek and he’s like “thank you~~ see you soon~~you’re the cutest~~ im gonna tell seokmin im taking you with me to dance and that he’s always wrong about everything~~”
  • after the second date, in which hoshi introduced you to everyone on the campus dance team and then proudly threw his arm around your shoulder and was like “you all better not get any ideas, they’re mine.” and after dancing for like two hours straight tackled you in a sweaty hug, it was safe to say that you two were a thing
  • hoshi telling anyone you guys are dating: “yeah, we’re dating. i made up a victory dance for the occasion, wanna see it?”
  • hoshi? you mean king of pda 
  • kisses on campus, nuzzling your face with his own in the library, surprise bear hugs when you visit him during theater practice, holding your hand under the table when you’re out to eat with the theater kids or seokmin, swinging your hands happily as he walks you to class
  • let me repeat: KING OF PDA 
  • everytime he’s got theater practice he like calls you to ask your opinion on his emotion through the phone like he’ll make everyone stop what they’re doing, just to call you and repeat a line and be like “is it good? do i sound emotionally distraught about my ship sinking?” and you’re like “yeah, you sound great captain hook.” and hoshi’s like im nOT PLAYINg captain HOOK thO
  • you’re his go to person to practice lines on and everyone in his friend group is so damn thankful until once when you were away on a trip and seokmin was like “hey, mingyu listen-” and mingyu was like oh god oh no oh god
  • makes jokes all the time that nearly give you heartattacks like he once was like “im gonna get a nose piercing for my next role, maybe dye my eyebrows green too to really get into chara-” and you were like “if you do ill shave your eyebrows off.”
  • whenever you’re sitting beside each other hoshi has to have his arm around your waist and he always tries to get away with putting his head in your lap to sleep
  • lots of people perceive hoshi as this endless ball of energy and at first you did too but then you learn that he deals with not only theater practice, but papers for his sociology minor and also competitions for dance and ontop of that he’ll take weekends to teach dance afterschool at a local middle school
  • and so when he is dead tired and literally just flops down and falls asleep with his face against your arm or in your lap you can only brush his hair from his face and whisper that you’re so proud to be dating someone so selfless 
  • he does this thing where he’ll be gently kissing down your neck and you close your eyes onLY to fEEL him lift you up over his shoulder and start running in circles and you’re like H O S  H I and he’s laughing like “are you dizzy??” and you’re like are we fIVE 
  • minghao voice from somewhere: yes, yall are five
  • hoshi will sometimes be like “im sorry i cant take you on more fancy dates” and you’re like “im fine just watching you rehearse for a show or practice dancing, it’s fine as long as im with you.” and hoshi just tackles you and kisses your face all over and everyone’s like grOSS except dino whose like !!!!!! TRUE LOVE IS THE BEST!!!!!!!!
  • you come over to his dorm and you guys steal seokmin’s + jeonghan’s blankets to build a fort and they’re both like can you not but you and hoshi in your blanket fort you built in the communal living room: “you’re just jealous and lonely. we’re gonna cuddle now.”
  • hoshi surprises you by getting tickets to a musical in the city and you get to see his fanboy side come out as he excitedly names all the actors and singers in the musical and like when the dance parts come on you see his eyes like flash with stars
  • and once you saw a musical with this singer from one of hoshi’s favorite groups, and when you get the signature hoshi can’t stop talking about it he’s like “babe….BABE……onew signed my fan with his face on it….BABE”
  • sends you selfies of him getting fitted by the fashion majors for the costumes for their next show and he sent a selfie shirtless and then was like “oops!! accident!!” 
  • (it was not an accident lmfao)
  • sometimes when he’s sleepy and trying to stay awake he becomes super like serious and charming and he’ll just sleepily look at you and be like “you know you’re stunning right, like i could look at you all day.” and you’re like akhgoew hoshi read your textbook and he’s like “ok………but seriously i love looking at you.” 
  • puts notes into your books when you’re not looking that are like cute reminders that he loves you and it’s sentimental because this all started with a note and it’s just,,,,, it’s cute
  • you: hoshi where do you get this cute as hell stationary?
    hoshi: steal it from dino
  • now when hoshi has an opening night you make sure to be there in the front row,  cheering him on! you always get him flowers to give afterword but he’s like “you know what else i want?” and you roll your eyes and kiss him hehe
  • everyone on the dance team keeps trying to lock you two in the dance practice room overnight but hoshi’s like you rascals what the hell do you think we’d do and he always scolds them for it (while blushing a  L O T)
  • hoshi: let’s take slow dancing lessons together
  • you: we don’t have time hoshi
  • hoshi: well we’re gonna have to know for when we get married???
  • seokmin: that’s so corny. It actually hurt me
  • when you finally get around to asking hoshi what it is that made him like you in the first place he’s sitting with you on the stage after rehersal and everyone’s gone and he like pulls you so you’re sitting in his lap and he’s like “you’re the only person kind enough to not lie to me when i asked for your help, and even when you just had to read the lines you put in effort for me - someone you barely knew and i thought to myself this person is a lot like me.” and you’re like ??? a lot like you and hoshi kisses the side of your face and he’s like “willing to help anyone and everyone out, even if they’re some weird boy who asked you to rehearse romantic lines with him for a play.”

college!vixx (here) & college!bts (here)
find college!woozi (here),  college!wonwoo (here)college!seunghceol(here),  college!seokmin (here) , college!jun (here) college!mingyu (here) & college!jeonghan (here)
find special college!jb (here), college!mark tuan (here)
and please look forward to more college!seventeen + special college!aus

The Boys (2/?)

 Summary:   You’ve been a hunter since you were 18 , a  vampire killed your bestfriend and you threw yourself into the hunting world after you met the hunters handling her case. John Winchester & Bobby Singer.   Being around Bobby, it was a matter of time before you met Dean & Sam Winchester.  You got along with Sam instantly, but you & Dean didn’t click as much . For the most part your relationship was full of flirting, insults, and arguments. Thankfully you weren’t around them often, only helping each other out on a few hunts . But what happens when you run into the boys again after years of not seeing them?

Warnings: swearing, flirting,angst

Pairing: ( none yet) Dean x reader, Sam x reader

  “ Fuck off Dean. ” you say through your laughs.  You  & the boys are celebrating an easy , successful hunt at the bar down the road from your motel. 

“ Name a time & place sweetheart , ill be there.” Dean shoots back with a wink .

Originally posted by dean-sam-winchesterbros

You roll your eyes, sipping on the whiskey. It burns going down your throat, you’ll never get sick of the taste of whiskey.  The night continues , all  of you sharing laughs and memories.

     A few hours later the boys decide its time to walk back to the hotel you guys were staying at . Sam was not ridiculously drunk , but he wasn’t just buzzed either. Dean having the tolerance he does, was barely tipsy. You on the other hand, were plain old drunk .  You being giggling as Sam pulls you out of the booth , and you fall against his chest with a squeal.  He follows in your laughter , wrapping his arm around your shoulder to pull you with him and Dean to the door. When the cool breeze hits your face, a smile forms.

 How did I get so lucky to find such good friends? 

“ Come on sweetheart, we have to walk a couple minutes to the room .” Dean says . The boys are now walking ahead of you , while you just standing watching them move.

“ Ugh but Dean ! Its still so early!  ” you complain.  It was barely 2 am  , the whiskey making you feel more awake than you’d like. 

 Dean makes his way back to you .He doesn’t say a word to you , just bends down and tosses you over his shoulder. You let out a string of giggles, squirming in Deans hold.

Originally posted by rileysmatthews

“ D , put me down ! ” you yell , you really don’t mind the view though . Your face is nearly eyelevel with Dean perfect ass. Drunk you apparently has no verbal or physical filter right now. You lift your arm, and land a perfect smack to his ass.  You burst out in laughter, when you feel Deans body stiffen at your action. You can hear Sam chuckle making your laugh grow.

“ Keep laughing Sammy, Your ass is next.” You playfully warn.  You can feel Deans shoulder shake as he releases a small laugh .  Out of nowhere  you feel a large hand swat your ass, hard. A small gasp ,almost bordering a moan , escapes your lips at the sting.

“ Well well, looks like Y/n’s got a kink , Sammy.”

“ Ewh gross guys , can you not.” Sammy groans. You feel your cheeks heat up ,and you let out an awkward laugh.  well that was embarrassing.

Originally posted by sophiabuzh

Dean Finally sets you down when you guys reach the room.You stretch your arms above your head, a yawn following. You go right for the bathroom, grabbing your pjs out of your bag on the way . When you step out of the bathroom in your baggy Pink Floyd shirt & cheekster underwear, you hear Dean whistle as he sees you .  Your eyes roll for what feels like the hundredth time today .  When Dean takes his turn in the bathroom , Sam shakes his head at the two of you. 

“ Either of you make a move yet?” Sam asks as he peels back the blanket on one of the small beds.  You snort at his question,

“Shutup Sam, nothings going to happen.“  A girl can wish though.

” Yeah whatever you say , just keep it in your pants tonight. I’m in the bed right next to you two and id rather not hear you guys -“

” Hear us what ,Sammy?“ Dean says from the doorway . I wonder how much he heard. 

” Just keep your hands to yourself.“ Sam says as he eyes the both of you .

” Go to bed, drunkass.“ you tell Sam, crawling into the bed across from his. You & Dean have been sharing a bed on most hunts. Sam being the moose he is , takes up the entire bed and radiates more heat than hell. A few minutes pass, and Sams snoring begins.You let out a chuckle at the sound. 

” Whats so funny sweetheart?“ Dean asks quietly .

” Your brothers snores could rival a hibernating bear.“ You both try to keep your laughing down. You wiggle your body , trying to get comfortable. You feel Dean right behind you , his body barely brushing yours. His hand lands on your stomach, stopping your fidgeting.

” If you wiggle your ass against my crotch one more time, we are going to have a problem sweetheart.“ Dean warns.

Oh Shit. Whoops.

” Don’t act like you don’t like it D. “ you whisper, a small smile tugging at your lips .He pushes your stomach lightly, bringing your ass now flush against his half hard bulge, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. 

Originally posted by maybe-just-one-more

 ” Oh I love it, i just dont think Sammy would appreciate what  would happen, since hes still in the room. “ Why does he do this to me? Such a cocky bastard.   You know Dean does things just to get a rise out of you , that’s just how your friendship works. Most of the time it just irritates you to the point of wanting to lock him in his trunk, but sometimes it bothers you in a way that sends chills down your spine, & heat straight to your core.

 ” Go to bed D, that Whiskey seems to be hitting you a little hard tonight. “ You say , hoping to end this conversation. Hes drunk , he probably wont remember this in the morning .   You hear him sigh , slightly loosening his grip but not letting you go.

” Whatever you want to believe , sweetheart.“ he says . You don’t respond, instead you focus on trying to sleep .

1 week later 

 You are sitting in another crappy ,run down bar in another small town. But this time , its not for celebratory drinks. The hunt didn’t go as smooth as you all hoped for.  The man you were trying to save from the ghost ignored your warning to stay in the salt circle. Burning the bones didn’t work, so you and Dean were ravaging through the house for something the ghost was attached to, by the time you got back into the room , the man was murdered the same way the ghost was.

 You are downing your 4th tumbler of whiskey, sitting silently at the booth with Sam. He is already looking for a new case, something to get your mind off of this one.  You know not every case is going to end well, but the ones that don’t still hit you hard.  Your eyes wander, landing on Dean & the busty blonde at the bar.  You watch as her hands snake around his neck, and her lips go to his ear.  Anger floods you at the way Dean blushes at what she is saying to him.  Another night, another skank.  You know its dumb to be  jealous, but you cant help it. You’ve seen him flirt with numerous girls, only actually leaving with some of them ; but everytime it stings for some reason.  You haven’t told Sam of the feelings that surfaced for his brother, not wanting to see his ’ I told you so’ face.

” You wanna get out of here ?“ Sam asks,closing his laptop.  You nod your head yes, and he leaves the money for your drinks on the table.  You watch as he goes to tell Dean you’re leaving, and the careless look on his face burned you even more.  Why would he care? He gets to be with Malibu Barbie tonight instead of getting in bed with me.  You begin the short walk back to the motel with Sam .

 ” You know, this just means you get your own bed tonight, y/n!“ Sam says , trying to ease the mood. He can sense the weight of the hunt still on your shoulders.  You send him a tiny smile,

Originally posted by out-in-the-open

” Yeah, I cant wait.“ you say half heartedly. After most hunts like this, when you and Dean would both be blaming yourselves, you’d comfort each other with sweet words and youd even run your fingers through his hair until hed calm down enough to sleep.

  You enter the room , and both get ready for bed.  You finally throw yourself down on the scratchy motel bed. 

” Goodnight y/n.“ Sam says with a yawn .  He shuts the light off and falls into his own bed.

” Night Sammy.“

 It wasn’t long before you figure out why you cant fall asleep. Since being with the boys, you’ve always shared a bed with one of them. You miss the warmth , and comfort of someone next to  you . You check the clock ,seeing it hasn’t been long since you wished Sammy goodnight.

” Sammy, are you awake?“ you whisper

He grumbles, rolling himself over to face you .  He lifts his covers up , silently inviting you over, sensing its the reason youre still awake. You hop out of bed and into his. You snuggle yourself into his bare chest,  his body head instantly enveloping you .

” Jesus Christ, how are you so hot?!“ you whine. You fidget , trying to get the blanket off you a little bit.

” Good genetics “ he says with a sleepy laugh . Even in his sleep he thinks he so funny .

” Ha Ha . So clever Sammy.“  he hums in response, you can tell by the way his breathing evens out hes already back asleep.

 A few hours later, you’re woken by the sound of the motel room door opening and closing. Your body tenses, but you feel Sam reaching for the gun hidden under the pillow.

” its just me .“ Dean?Sam grunts in response to his brother..

” Why is y/n In bed with you?“  Dean asks, laying in the other bed already .

” She didn’t want to sleep alone. “ Sam says, still half asleep. Sam  is on his back now, one arm around you as you cuddle into his side. You feel Deans hand on your waist, gently shaking .

” Dean what are you “ Sam starts, but Dean ignores him.

” Come on sweetheart, I’m back. We can sleep a few more hours. “  Does he really think I’m going to just get my ass out of this bed to lay with him? Why didn’t he just stay at the girls place?

 You hum, clinging on to Sam tighter. You hear Dean let out a defeated sigh , then the bed creak under his weight. Your chest tightens as you try to figure out his actions.   You feel Sams breathing even, and hear Deans do the same.  You turn yourself in Sams arms to face Dean . Hes turned facing you , a calm look over his face.

Originally posted by frozen-delight

You want to go get in bed with him, you want him to pull you to him and snuggle against you . You love cuddling Sam , but it was different with Dean. You’re about to get up to switch beds, when you get better glimpse at his neck. Purple and black marks littered the side visible to you. Oh Fuck no.  As much as you want to move, you’re not going to go lay with him . You stay with Sammy,  trying to push the thoughts of Dean away  and fall back asleep.

  @justalittlebitouttamylimit   @xuaniexuan  @netherqueen23  @omgpandagirl14  @undersoilxnddirt

CHARCOAL (M) | kth

“The thing with Taehyung is that he use his hands a lot while drawing and get his fingers stained with charcoal, a lot. But when I come back home later, I love to see the same black prints all over my body.” 

+Pairing: Taehyung x femlale MC ft Seokjin
+Genre: College!AU, Artist!kth
+Warnings: sexual assault victim
+Note: GUYS! This is an adaptation of the book “Easy” by Tammara Webber. I decided to start like this because im not sure of my writing skill yet, so enjoy!

01 02 03 04 05


“Kim T,
I’m having more trouble with the current material than I let on, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to make it to one of your tutoring sessions. Too bad for both of us that my ex didn’t dump me early enough in the semester to drop this class! (No offense. You’re probably an econ major and like this stuff.) I’ve started researching online journals for the project. Thanks for decoding Dr. Park’s notes before sending them to me. If you’d have forwarded them without a translation, I’d be searching for a tall building/ overpass/ water tower from which to yell “goodbye cruel world.”

Please, no leaping from towering structures. Do you have any idea how much damage that would do to my tutoring reputation?? If nothing else, think of the effect on me. ;) I create worksheets for the tutoring sessions. I’ve attached the past three weeks’ worth. Use them as study guides, or fill them in and send them back to me, and we’ll see where you’re getting confused. Actually, I’m an engineering major, but we have to take econ. I think everyone should, though – it’s a good starting point for explaining how money, politics and commerce work together to create the total chaos that is our economic system.
PS – How did the regional competitions go? And btw, your ex is obviously a moron.”

I downloaded the worksheets, turning over his last statement in my mind. Whether my tutor knew Seokjin or not—unlikely, given the size of the university and their differing majors—he’d taken my side. Me, a girl so absurdly unhinged by a breakup that she’d skipped class for two weeks.

He was smart and funny, and after only three days, I already looked forward to his name in my inbox, our back-and-forth banter. All of a sudden, I wondered what he looked like. God. Just yesterday, I’d left class telling myself to ignore the brooding stares of a guy in class because I needed time to get over Seokjin’s desertion.

It didn’t matter. I needed time to recover, even if Kim was right. Even if Kennedy was a moron.

I clicked on the first worksheet and opened my econ text, and breathed a sigh of relief.

The worksheets are definitely going to help. I already feel less scared of failing this class. I did the first two - when you have time, could you look them over? Thank you again for wasting your time on me. I’ll try to get caught up quickly. I’m not used to being the student who’s a pain in the butt.

I had two freshmen from rival schools in competition with each other at regionals. Both asked me, separately thank God, who was my favorite. (I told each of them, “You are, of course.” Was that wrong??) They were very smug with each other when they came to get their basses from my truck, and I prayed that neither would mention the favorite status in front of the other. BOYS.

Engineering? Wow. No wonder you seem so brainy.


The worksheets look great. I marked a couple of minor mistakes that could trip you up on an exam, so check those.

Ah, sounds like your freshmen have crushes on you? Not surprised. A bass-playing college girl would have rendered me speechless at 14.

Of course I’m brainy! I’m the all-knowing tutor. And in case you’re wondering - yes, you’re my favorite. ;)


Saturday night, Elee was once again threatening to drag me out of our room, ignoring my protests and reluctance. This time, three of us were heading to the strip to hit some clubs with our fake IDs.

“Don’t you remember how the party last weekend went for me?” I asked when she shoved a clingy black dress into my outspread arms. Of course she didn’t remember; I hadn’t told her. All she knew was that I’d bailed early.

“Y/N, babe, I know this is hard. But you can’t let Seokjin win! You can’t let him make you a hermit, or keep you scared of falling for someone new. God, I love this part of it—the hunt for a new guy, everything unknown, untried—the mass of hot prospects in front of you, waiting to be discovered. If I didn’t lust after Jongkyung so hard, I’d be jealous of you.”

The way she described it, the process sounded like an expedition to an exotic continent. I didn’t share her feelings, not in the least. The idea of finding a new guy sounded exhausting and depressing. “Elee, I don’t think I’m ready—”

“That’s what you said last weekend, and you did fine!” She frowned, thinking, and for the hundredth time, I almost told her about Junmin. “Even if you did leave early.” She rehung the black dress I didn’t intend to wear, and I held my tongue, losing my chance again. I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t tell her. I was mostly afraid she’d be infuriated. More unreasonably, I was afraid she’d be disbelieving. Neither response was something I wanted to contend with; I just wanted to forget.

I thought of Taehyung, annoyed that his presence in econ was making that process impossible, because he was irrevocably connected to the horror of that night. He’d not looked at me at all Friday—as far as I knew. Every time I snuck a look back at him, he appeared to be sketching rather than taking notes, his black pencil held low between his fingers, a concentrated expression on his face. When class ended, he stuck the pencil behind his ear, turned and walked from the classroom without a backward glance, first one out the door.

“Now this will show off the goods,” Elee said, breaking into my reverie. Next up was a stretchy, low-cut purple top. Yanking it from the hanger, she tossed it to me. “Put on your skinny jeans and those badass boots. This fits your tough, I’m-a-challenge mood better anyway. You have to dress to attract the right guys, and if I make you too cute, you’ll flick them all away with glares and irritated rolls of your eyes.”

I sighed and she laughed, pulling the black dress over her own head. Elee knew me far too well.


I’d lost count of the number of drinks Elee had pressed into my hand, telling me that since she was the designated driver, I was required to drink for two.
“I can’t touch any of these hotties, either—so I have to live vicariously. Now finish that margarita, stop scowling, and stare at one of these guys until he knows he won’t lose a limb if he asks you to dance.”

“I’m not scowling!” I scowled, obeying and tossing the drink back. I grimaced. Cheap tequila refused to be concealed by an abundance of even cheaper margarita mix, but that’s what you get for no cover charge and five dollar drinks.

Still relatively early, the small club we decided to occupy for the night wasn’t yet overcrowded with the hundreds of college students and townies it would hold soon. Elee, Mina and I claimed a corner of the near-vacant floor. Having downed the drinks and dressed the part, I moved to the music, gradually loosening up while laughing at Elee’s cheer poses and Mina’s ballet movements. The first guy to interrupt us approached Elee, but she shook her head as her lips mouthed the word boyfriend. She turned him toward me and I thought: That’s me: SINGLE. No more relationship. No more Seokjin. No more You’re my Kkul.

“Wanna dance?” the guy yelled over the music, fidgeting as though he was ready to bolt if I turned him down. I nodded, choking back the pointless, almost physical pain. I was no one’s girlfriend, for the first time in three years.

We moved to an open space a few feet from Elee and Mina—who also had a boyfriend. It didn’t take long to figure out that the two of them planned to point every guy who asked one of them to dance at me. I was their pet project for the night.

Two hours later, I’d danced with too many guys to remember, dodging wandering hands and turning down any drinks not handed to me by Elee. Crowded around a tall table near the floor, we leaned hips on the barstools surrounding it, watching the surrounding hookup activity. As Mina returned from bopping and pirouetting her way to the bathroom and back, I asked if we could go yet, and Elee fixed me with a look she usually reserved for ill-mannered steakhouse patrons. I smirked at her and sipped my drink.I knew when the next guy walked up behind me, and that Elee and Mina approved, because their eyes widened simultaneously, focusing over my shoulder. Fingers grazed the back of my arm, and I took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly before turning around. 

Good thing, too—because it was Taehyung who stood there, his eyes dropping to my cleavage for a split second. He crooked an eyebrow and gazed into my eyes with a faint smile, unapologetic for looking. The heels on my boots were killing my feet, but they weren’t tall enough to bring me eye-to-eye. Rather than raising his voice like everyone else, he leaned close to my ear and asked, “Dance with me?” I felt his warm breath and inhaled the scent of his aftershave—something basic and male—before he withdrew, his eyes on mine, waiting for my answer. An enthusiastic nudge between my shoulder blades told me Elee’s vote: go dance with him. 

I nodded, and he took my hand and made his way to the floor, maneuvering through the crowd, which parted easily for him. Once we reached the worn oak floor, he turned and pulled me close, never letting go of my hand. As we found the rhythm of the slow-paced song, swaying together, he took my other hand in his and moved both hands behind my back, gently holding me captive. My breasts grazed against his chest and I struggled not to gasp at the subtle contact. I’d barely let anyone else touch me at all tonight, adamantly refusing all slow dances. Dizzy from weak-but-plentiful margaritas, I closed my eyes and let him lead, telling myself that the difference was the alcohol in my blood, nothing more. A minute later, he released my fingers and spread his hands across my lower back, and my hands moved to his biceps. Solid, as I knew they would be. Tracking a path, my palms encountered equally hard shoulders. 

Finally, I hooked my fingers behind his neck and opened my eyes. His gaze was penetrating, not wavering for a moment, and my pulse hammered under his silent scrutiny. Finally, I stretched up toward his ear, and he leaned down to accommodate my question.
“S-so what’s your major?” I breathed.From the corner of my eye, I watched his mouth twitch up on one side.
“Do you really want to talk about that?” He maintained the closeness, our torsos pressed together chest to thigh, ostensibly waiting for my answer. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so full of pure, unqualified desire.I swallowed. “As opposed to talking about what?” He chuckled, and I felt the vibrations of his chest against mine.
“As opposed to not talking.” His hands at my waist gripped a little tighter, thumbs pressing into my ribcage, fingers still at my lower back. I blinked, one moment not understanding what his words implied, and the next knowing unreservedly.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I lied. He leaned closer still, his smooth cheek whispering against mine as he murmured 
“Yes, you do.” Struck again by his scent—clean and subtle. I felt an impulse to bring my fingertips to his face and trail them over his jaw. His skin would feel so soft againstt mine now if he kissed me, hard.
I would feel nothing but his mouth on mine—and maybe that slim ring at the edge of his lip…The errant thought made my breath catch. When his lips touched just south of my earlobe, I thought I might pass out.
“Let’s just dance,” he said. Pulling back just far enough to stare into my eyes, he drew my body against his, and my legs obeyed where his said to go.

“Bitch, who was that hot guy?” Elee carefully maneuvered her daddy-furnished Volvo sedan around the people weaving drunkenly through the parking lot. “If I wasn’t stone cold sober, I’d think he was a figment of my sex-starved imagination.”

“Psshh,” I mumbled, eyes closed, my spinning head lolling back against the headrest. “Don’t even talk to me about sex-starved.”

A minute later, Mina piped up from the back seat. “You haven’t answered the question, Y/N!” Her speech was almost as slurred as mine, my name pronounced in distinct syllables. “Who was that beautiful guy, and more importantly, why didn’t you solve your sex-starvedness with him? Holy hell, I think I’d be willing to boot Jinyoung outta bed for a night with him!”

“Slut,” Elee said, rolling her eyes into her rearview mirror.

Mina laughed. “In this case… Hell. Yeah.”

They both grew quiet, staring at me, waiting for me to reveal who he was. I mentally sorted through everything I knew about him. He’d saved me from Junmin’s attack, which I hadn’t told anyone about. He’d beaten the crap out of Junmin, which I likewise hadn’t told anyone. He’d stared at me all through economics on Wednesday, and then ignored me completely on Friday, which I hadn’t told anyone. He worked at the Coffe. And he kept asking me if I was okay… but he hadn’t asked me that tonight.

Tonight had been something else altogether. By unspoken agreement, we’d danced several dances without stopping—slow, fast, and everything in between. His hands never left my body, triggering an upsurge of longing I’d not felt in a very long time—longer than four or five weeks ago. His hands hadn’t wandered inappropriately, his fingers not even teasing beneath the fabric of my top at the waist, but they’d seared the skin beneath regardless. 

And then he disappeared. Bending, his lips next to my ear, he thanked me for the dances, led me back to my table, and vanished into the throng of people. I hadn’t seen him again, and could only assume he’d left the club.

“His name is Taehyung. He’s in my economics class. And he draws stuff.”

Mina began giggling and slapped the leather seat. “He draws stuff? What kind of stuff? Naked girls? That’s pretty much the extent of most guys’ artistic endeavors. Usually not even whole girls. Just boobs.”

Elee laughed along with her. “I don’t know what he draws. He was just… sketching something in class Friday. I don’t think he listened to the lecture at all.”

“Oh no, Elee!” Maggie leaned as far up as her seatbelt would allow. “Sounds like that god of a man is a bad student. We know what that means for Y/N.”

I frowned. “What does it mean?”

Elee shook her head, smiling. “Come on, Y/N—have you ever in your life been attracted to a bad boy? Or a boy who’s, um, academically challenged? In other words, a boy who isn’t—gasp!—a brainiac?”

My mouth fell open. “Shut up! Are you saying I’m an intellectual snob?”

“No! We didn’t say you were—we don’t mean that. We just mean… you sure didn’t look indifferent to this Taehyung guy tonight, while you two danced together for like ever, and it sounds like he’s maybe not your usual type—”
“My only ‘type’ has been Seokjin for the past three years! Who knows what my type is?”
“Don’t get huffy. You know what I mean—you don’t even crush on dumb guys.”
“Well, who does?” I rebelled against the idea that Taehyung was dumb. Maybe he was unmotivated in economics, but nothing about him seemed unintelligent.

“And all of this talk is for—?”

Elee grinned at me. “You’re ready for a new man, my girl.”

“Ooohhh,” Mina sighed.

“Um. I don’t think—”

“Exactly. Don’t think. You’re gonna seduce this Taehyung guy and rebound the hell out of him. That’s the thing about boys—they don’t have any qualms about being the rebound guy because they don’t hang around for long anyway. He probably lives for being the rebound guy—especially in a situation like this, where he’ll get to teach you all sorts of naughty stuff.”

Mina endorsed Elee’s crazy idea with one heavily sighed word. “Lucky.”

I thought of Taehyung’s hands at my waist, his mouth grazing my ear, and I shivered. I recalled his penetrating gaze Wednesday during class, and the breath in my lungs went shallow. Maybe I was experiencing alcohol perspective, and everything would look different tomorrow—but at the moment, Elee’s crazy idea was starting to sound almost not crazy.

I was a ball of nerves as I approached the classroom Monday morning, unsure if I should initiate the man-snaring strategy I’d agreed to test on my unsuspecting classmate, or abandon it fully while I still could. He walked into the room ahead of me, and I watched his eyes flick over my recently assigned seat, and the vacant one next to Seokjin, who was already seated, thank God. I had about thirty seconds to reconsider the whole thing.

Go time.

I took a deep breath. I had three minutes until class started. Elee said I needed one minute, no more than two. “But two is pushing it,” she insisted, “because then you look too interested. One is better.”

I slid into the seat next to him, but perched on the edge, making it obvious that I had no intention of remaining. His eyes snapped to mine immediately, dark brows disappearing into that messy hair falling over his forehead. His eyes were almost colorless. I’d never seen anyone with eyes so light.

He was definitely startled by my appearance next to him. Good, according to Elee and Mina.

“Hey,” I said, a subtle smile on my lips, hoping I appeared somewhere between interested and indifferent. According to Elee and Mina, that impression was a vital part of the strategy.

“Hey.” He opened his econ text, concealing the open sketchbook in front of him. Before he obscured it, I caught a detailed illustration of the venerated old oak tree in the center of campus.

I swallowed. Interested and indifferent. “So, it just occurred to me that I don’t remember your name from the other night. Too many margaritas, I guess.”

He wet his lips and stared at me a moment before answering, and I blinked, wondering if he was purposefully making my loosely-sustained indifference more challenging to maintain. “It’s Taehyung. And I don’t think I gave it.”

In the next moment, Dr. Park entered noisily near the podium, catching his handled case in the door. An audible, “Dammit,” echoed through the lecture hall, thanks to the planned acoustics of the room. Taehyung and I smiled at each other as our fellow classmates tittered.

“So… you, um, called me Kkul, before?” I said, and his head tilted slightly. “My name is actually Y/N…”

His brows drew down slightly. “Okay.”

I cleared my throat and stood—surprising him again, judging by his expression. “Nice to meet you, Taehyung.” I smiled again before turning away and darting to my assigned seat.

Keeping my attention on the lecture and defying the compulsion to peek over my shoulder was excruciating. I was sure I felt Taehyung’s eyes boring into the back of my head. Like an out-of-reach itch, the sensation nettled me for fifty minutes straight, and it took herculean effort to refrain from turning around. 

Unknowingly, Jungkook helped by making distracting observations on Dr. Park, like tallying the number of times he said, “Uuummm,” during the lecture with marks at the top of his notebook, and pointing out the fact that our professor was sporting one navy and one brown sock.

Instead of lingering at the end of class to see what Taehyung would do (speak to me or ignore me?), instead of waiting for Seokjin to leave (funny, I’d paid scant attention to him for the past hour—that was a first), I swung my backpack onto my shoulder and practically sprinted from the room without looking at either of them. Emerging from the side door into the crisp fall air, I sucked in a deep breath. 

When Elee and I joined the line at the Coffe, I didn’t see Taehyung.

“Rats.” She craned her neck, making sure he wasn’t one of the people behind the counter. “He was here last Monday, right?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but his work schedule is probably unpredictable.”

She elbowed me lightly. “Not so much. That’s him there, right?”

He came through a door to the back with an industrial-sized bag of coffee. My physical reaction to him was unnerving. It was as though my insides all clenched up at the sight of him, and when they unwound, everything restarted at once—my heart rate accelerating, lungs pumping air, brainwaves running amok.

“Ooh, Y/N, he’s got ink, too,” Elee murmured appreciatively. “Just when I didn’t think he could get any hotter…”

My eyes fell to his forearms, flexing as he sliced the bag open. Tattooed designs wrapped around his wrists, contiguous symbols and script running up both arms and disappearing into the sleeves of the gray knit shirt, which were shoved above his elbows. I’d never seen him without his sleeves pulled to the wrists. Even Saturday night, he’d worn long sleeves—a faded black button-down, open over a white t-shirt.

Now, I wondered how far the tattoos spread—just the sleeves of his arms? His back? His chest?

Elee tugged my arm as the line moved forward. “You’re botching our carefully crafted indifferent act, by the way. Not that I can blame you.” She sighed. “Maybe we should bail now before he—”

I glanced at her when she fell silent, and watched a devious smile cross her face as she turned to me.

“Keep looking at me,” she said, laughing as though we were having an amusing conversation. “He’s staring at you. And I mean staring. That boy is undressing you with his eyes. Can you feel it?” Her expression was triumphant.

Could I feel his stare? I can now, thanks, I thought. My face heated.

“Hoe, you’re blushing,” she whispered, her dark eyes widening.

“No shit.” My teeth were clenched, voice tight. “Stop telling me he’s—he’s—”

“Undressing you with his eyes?” She laughed again and I’d never wanted to kick her more. “Okay, okay—but Y/N, do not worry. You’ve got this. I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but he’s ready to sit up and beg. Trust me.” She glanced in his direction. “Okay, he’s starting a new batch of coffee now. You can do your own staring.”

We stepped closer; there were only two people in front of us. I watched Taehyung replace the filter, measure out the coffee, and set the controls. His green apron was haphazardly secured in the back—more of a knot than a bow.

He turned then, eyes on the second register as he punched buttons and brought it to life. I wondered if he planned to ignore me as I had him during class. It would serve me right, playing this game. Just as the guy in front of me began his detailed drink order to the girl at the first register, Taehyung’s gaze swung up to meet mine.
“Next?” The steel gray of his shirt set off the gray in his eyes, the blue disappearing. “Y/N.” He greeted me with a smirk, and I worried that he could read my mind, and the devious plans Elee had implanted in it. “Americano today, or something else?”

He remembered my drink order from a week ago.

I nodded, and he flashed a barely-there grin at my bemusement, ringing up the order and printing the cup with a sharpie. Instead of passing it to a coworker, though, he made the drink himself.

He added a protective sleeve and a lid and handed me the cup. I couldn’t read his trace of a smile. “Have a nice day.” Looking over my shoulder, he said, “Next?”

I joined Elee at the pick-up counter, confused and sulking.

“He made the drink for you?” She retrieved her drink and followed me to the condiment counter.

“Yeah.” I removed the lid and added sugar and milk while she shook cinnamon over her latte. “But he just handed it over like I was any other customer and took the next guy’s order.” We watched him interact with customers. He didn’t once glance my way.

“I could have sworn he was so into you he couldn’t see straight,” she mused as we left, rounding a corner to join the mass of people flowing through the student center.

“Hey, baby!” Jongkyung’s voice pulled both of us from our thoughts. He snatched Elee out of the flow of people and I followed, laughing at her delighted squeal until I noticed the guy standing next to him.

My face went hot, blood pounding in my ears. As our friends kissed hello and began talking about what time they each got off work tonight, Junmi stared down at me, his mouth turning up on one side. My breath came in pants and I fought to keep the rising panic and nausea under control. I wanted to turn and run, but I was immobilized.

He couldn’t touch me here. He couldn’t hurt me here.

“Hey, Kkul.” His piercing gaze roamed over me and my skin crawled. “Lookin’ good, as always.” His words gushed flirtation, but all I felt was the threat underneath, intended or not.

The bruises had faded from his face, but weren’t entirely gone. One yellowish streak ringed his left eye, and another brushed along the right side of his nose like a pale smear. Taehyung had given him those, and only the three of us knew it. I stared back, mute, the coffee clutched in my hand. I’d once thought this boy handsome and charming—the all-American veneer he wore fooling me as thoroughly as it fooled everyone else.

I raised my chin, ignoring my physical reaction to him, and the fear causing it. “It’s Y/N.”

He cocked one eyebrow, confused. “Huh?”

Elee grabbed my elbow. “Come on, hot stuff. Don’t you have art history in like five minutes?”

I stumbled slightly as I turned and followed her, and he issued a soft, taunting laugh as I passed him. “See you around, Y/N” he teased.

My name in his mouth sent a tremor through me, and I trailed behind Elee into the sea of students. Once I could move, I couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

Elee: Do you still have your coffee cup?

Me: Yes?

Elee: Take the sleeve off


Elee: His phone number?

Me: How did you know???

Elee: I’m Elee. I know all.

If Elee hadn’t texted me during class, that cup, and his number, would have been pitched into the hallway wastebasket.

So… Taehyung wasn’t writing an unnecessary drink order onto my cup, he was giving me his phone number. I entered it into my phone, wondering what I was meant to do with it. Call him? Text him?

I thought about what I knew of him: He’d come out of nowhere the night of the party. After putting a stop to the attack, some further protective trait had obliged him to see me safely back to the dorm. He’d somehow known my name that night—my nickname—but I’d never noticed him before.

He sat in the back row in economics, sketching or staring at me instead of paying attention to the lecture. Saturday night, the firm touch of his hands as we danced made my head swim, before he disappeared without explanation. He’d undressed me with his eyes, Elee said. He was cocky and self-sure. Tattooed and too hot for words. 

And now, his number was programmed into my phone. It was as though he knew all about my desesperation to see another dick, and he was as willing and eager to cooperate as my friends believed he’d be.

She's My Bucky

Bucky x reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of death and mention of a heated kiss, I think that’s it.

A/N: this is my first fic and I’m not 100% what I’m doing. I’m no writer my any means but thought id give it a go and see what happens. the idea for this came to me a while ago and I’ve not been able to leave it alone. so after nearly 2 weeks of making notes and telling myself to just go for it. this happened. there’s probably spelling mistakes and grammar errors everywhere and I apologise. also I typed this out real quick as I got half way through once and the computer crashed and stole it all. thank you for reading.

“Come on!” Sharon sais excitedly as she dragged Bucky and Steve to the garage of the compound. “she’ll be here soon!”
Steve and Sharon’s wedding was only a few weeks away now and Sharon had asked her best friend to be her maid of honour and she was coming today.
“she’s always been there for me since we were kids, we spent so much time together at aunt Peggy’s after our parents died she practically lived with us, even Tony knows and loves her, being aunt Peggy’s god son and all. She has always been a bit protective of me, I suppose you could say she’s my Bucky” Sharon told Steve as Bucky trailed behind, still not comfortable with meeting new people no matter how many times Steve said it was ok.

Just then the garage door opened and a bright purple ‘67 mustang with white racing stripes rumbled in. As the engine cut off and the door opened Bucky could have sworn his heart stopped when out climbed the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

Sharon squealed just as (y/n) closed the door and ran for her. the two women clung to each other so tight happy to be back together again rocking each other as tear filled hellos and compliments flew between them.

As they released each other Sharon looped her arm with (y/n) and lead her over to the men. “(y/n) this is Steve. Steve (y/n)” Sharon introduced with a huge smile. Steve held out his hand and (y/n) shook it and said “wow, so your the amazing Steve I’ve heard so much about?” as she cocked an eyebrow at Sharon with a playful smirk on her face causing Sharon’s face to warm up and a slight blush to dust her cheeks.
“And this is Bucky. Bucky, (y/n)” no one had noticed that Bucky had not taken his eyes off her, just then Steve nudged him and knocked him from his trance and he took her hand with a “nice to meet you.”
Just then the door to the compound opened and an agent carrying san armful of paper work came in, “captain rogers, Agent carter, sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I might have you signature on a few of these please?”
“Sure” Sharon said as she turned to (y/n) “ill be right back.” as Sharon as Steve turned to walk way (y/n) stepped up to Bucky and whispered in his ear, “see something you like, soldier?” his back stiffened as Sharon called (y/n) over took her arm again as she lead the way in to the compound to get (y/n) settled and meet the team.
“You ok , buck?” Steve calls from across the room, “yeah, I’m fine. I think I just met my future wife!” he replies still staring at the door the women disappeared through.

walking in to the common room with Steve and Bucky in tow, Sharon introduced everyone to (y/n). “everyone this is (y/n). (y/n) this is Sam, Wanda, Nat, vision, Clint and Thor.”

(y/n) gave a small wave. she was just about to say something when,

“THERE’S MY JELLYBEAN!” a rather loud Tony entered the room with a rather timid looking Bruce.
“Tony, its been how many years and you are still calling me that?” (y/n) replied with a playful smirk on her face as she hugged tony.
“Of course, things like that aren’t easily forgotten.” looking around the room at a sea of confused faces Sharon took in upon herself to explain that you got the nickname from tony due to sticking a jellybean in each nostril as a child and freaking out when they got stuck and you were convinced you were going to die, she even told Sharon she could have everything in her room to remember her by.
“Thanks.” (y/n) deadpanned and blushed as a few giggles were hear around the room. Bucky thought it was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen.
Later that evening after the kitchen had cleared bout after dinner save for Sharon, Steve, Bucky, Tony and (y/n) who were talking and catching up, “so what are you doing for work at the moment?” tony asked (y/n) while he sipped his drink.
“oh, I quit my job before I came out here, they said they couldn’t give me the amount of time off I wanted and Sharon needed me so I left.”

“what about your apartment?” Sharon asked, “a neighbour is watching it.”

A couple of weeks later the night of the bachelor and bachelorette parties arrived, “HURRY UP (Y/N)!” Nat called, everyone was ready and waiting to leave. when (y/n) entered the room she was met with wolf whistles and cheers, and a Bucky that looked like a fish gasping for air. she was wearing leather bottoms that hugged her in all the right places a corset style top and a leather jacket with high heeled boots, smokey eye make up and bright red lips. as everyone made their way to the door she caught Bucky’s eye and winked at him and went to join everyone else and Bucky leaned in to Steve and said “is she trying to fucking kill me?”
After everyone had decided who was going in what car they all met a local bar for a few drinks before going their separate ways, (y/n) looked over to the bar where she noticed a very uncomfortable looking Bucky and a woman fawning all over him. “ill be right back” she told Sharon and got to her feet and made her way over to Bucky with a very seductive look on her face.
Bucky saw her coming over and wondered what was happening. At the same time Sam saw and nudged Steve and got all the men’s attention to watch the events unfold.

As (y/n) got closer to Bucky she pushed the woman out the way ad held Bucky’s chin between her thumb and index finger so he was looking in her eyes and said very seductively, “me and the girls are heading to a club where we are going to have men grinding all over us, so I’m gonna be as Horney as fuck when I get home so you better be ready for a rough ride, Sargent.” then she pecked his lips and walked away with a “see you later, lover.”
Before Bucky had a chance to do or say anything she has made her way over to the woman and said “honey, as cute as you are I don’t share so if I were you, I’d make myself scarce.” blowing a kiss in the woman’s direction as she walked away.

(y/n) walked back over to the table of women missing the animalistic growl that left Bucky and proclaimed it was time to move on swinging her hips that little bit more knowing she still had an audience. As the women left Bucky was still standing there uncomfortable except now it was for a whole other reason.

a few days later the girls went for their dress fitting, while they were all in a fitting room pulling on the third dress suggestion from the woman who was clearly trying a little too hard for her commission Wanda spoke up, “so (y/n) what’s up with you and Barnes?” “if you’re referring to the other night at the bar, I was simply helping a friend in need,” she replied as Nat zipped up the back of her dress for her, “of course you were,” Nat smirked.
After leaving the bridal shop, Nat and Wanda were called away for a mission so (y/n) and Sharon decided just to get coffee and head home, but they were so wrapped up in wedding talk they didn’t notice they were being followed. As they made their way back to collect the car a man dressed completely in black grabbed Sharon from behind and lifter her from the floor.
Just as (y/n) was about to launch herself at him, she stopped and turned her head just in time to catch the fist that was about to make contact with the back of her head. she used the momentum from it to flip the man over her head, temporarily knocking the wind from him and went to help Sharon. after a full on fist fight that lasted maybe less time than the men imagined, (y/n) and Sharon had managed to contain the men and get some agents to come and collect them for questioning and headed back to the compound.

“I don’t get it,” Steve said confused looking at Bucky, “I don’t see how Sharon managed to beat those two on her own, they are big men!?”

“that’s because she didn’t,” tony said with a smile, “here, watch this.” he put the cctv footage of the attack on the big screen on the wall and Bucky and Steve watched in awe as you helped Sharon fight off the men with moved some would say rivalled Nat’s. “wow!” Bucky breathed out.
That night while snuggled on the couch watching a movie with Sharon, Steve said “where did (y/n) learn to fight like that?”

“she went to the S.H.I.E.L.D academy with me but dropped out before she finished training.”

“why? she’s good.”

“I know I asked her far ages after she done it but she never would tell me.” Sharon said with a hint of sadness in her tone, Why do you ask?“

"I was thinking of asking her to join the team.”

“that’s a great idea sweetie!” Sharon said excitedly, I’m sure she would!“

"id love to! as long as Sharon is ok with it!” (y/n) said excitedly when Steve asked her the next day to join the team.

“she’s fine she was really happy I wanted to ask,” Steve smiled.

“well ill leave you here in Bucky’s capable hands, he’ll be your mentor anything you need just ask him.” and with that Steve left you in the gym. “right. lets get started, doll” Bucky said as he took a defensive stance.

over the next few weeks, (y/n) and Bucky grew closer and started spending more time together outside of training. until one day, “would you like to come out to dinner with me one night, doll.” “are you asking me on a date, Sargent Barnes?” “That i am,” he said with a boyish smirk that made her knees weak. “Then yes, id love to go out to dinner with you. maybe pick me up at 7 tomorrow?” “7 tomorrow it is, doll. i cant wait.” As (y/n) left the gym she caught Bucky punch the air and whisper “yes!” and couldn’t help but giggle to herself.

As it happens news travels fast around the compound and as (y/n) sat down to breakfast with Wanda and Sharon, Wanda said, “a little bird told me, (y/n) that you are going on a date with Bucky tonight?”

“yes I am but never mind bout that, today is cake tasting day, so I’m going to have a shower and get dressed and ill meet you ladies back here in say, an hour.” and with that (y/n) quickly left the room.

“why does she do that?”

“I’m not sure she’s been like it as long as I can remember, never wants to talk about herself, its just the way she is I think.”
Bucky and (y/n) returned from their date laughing together and decided to sit on the couch for a bit and watcha movie to finish off the perfect evening. while (y/n) went to change in to some pjs, Bucky found a bottle of Tony’s very expensive whiskey and 2 glasses and put the movie on just as (y/n) came back in. they sat watching the movie for a while (y/n) snuggled into Bucky’s side, “(y/n)?”

“yes, Bucky” she replied as she sat up and looked at him, he stared into her eyes for a second before swallowing thickly and said “I think I’m falling for you.”

(Y/n) didn’t say anything she just closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his in a heated kiss, they both stood from the couch and went to Bucky’s room and it turned out the movie wasn’t the perfect ending to the perfect evening.

Laying awake with her head on Bucky’s firm chest. (y/n) started to feel uneasy about how she felt for Bucky. she knew that if she was seen people would want to talk to her about it, she couldn’t handle it so she very slowly removed herself from Bucky’s  hold and snuck out back to her own room making sure no one saw her.

The next morning at breakfast (y/n) is sitting talking animatedly to Steve and Sharon about things for the wedding when a very pissed off looking Bucky walks in.

“Are you kidding me!? Where did you go?” he asks with a frown and a jaw so set it could cut glass.
“Bucky,” (y/n) sighs, “I cant do this now.”
“No. you can and you will, we spend a great night together, we confess our feelings and sleep together and I wake up and you are gone!?” everyone looks at (y/n).
She looks at her hand that are now clamped together in her lap and lets out a sad sigh, “I did it because of Sharon.”

As she says it she look over to a very hurt and confused looking Sharon, “excuse me, I don’t follow. how is this my fault?”
“I don’t mean it like that, not in a bad way. this is your time. your wedding. people should be talking about that and congratulating you, not talking about me and my feelings for Bucky.” (y/n) says matter of factly like its the most obvious thing in the world.
“Hold on, I think its great you found someone. maybe even better that its Bucky. you always do this you always cut yourself short, you draw attention to my happiness even if it costs yours.” (y/n)stays quiet with a guilty look in her face, she could see the realisation dawning on Sharon’s face.
“is that why you never competed the S.H.I.E.L.D training, you always were better than me, and why you enrolled in college out of town so it was harder for people to get to yours so you told them to come to mine instead?” (y/n) just sits with tears in her eyes and nods.

(y/n) gets up from the table and turns to Sharon, “I have always put your happiness first. you are so special to me and deserve the world, you are like a sister to me the one I never had. you and I both know I’ve done a lot of shitty things in my life, things I could never make up for, I thought that by looking out for you, protecting you and making sure you were happy it would be a start. I know i will never be able to make it up to you or fill the void I created, I done the worst thing imaginable top you and all you did was ask Peggy to help me. if she hadn’t agreed who knows where id be now. All I have ever done is try and make you happy but all I seem to do is make things worse. I’m sorry I ruined your moment and Bucky, I’m sorry I hurt you.“  

Before anyone has the chance to say anything (y/n) turns on her heel and bolts from the room with tears streaming down her face.
"what the hell was that all about?” a very confused Steve asks a very upset Sharon.
“I think its time I showed you something,” Sharon says walking over to the TV. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, bring up the file on my parents deaths.”

(Y/n) packs to leave and stops to visit Tony on the way out. “thank you for having me tony but I’m leaving,” (y/n) say s willing herself not to cry again, she doesn’t deserve to be upset she ruined it all, again.
“why? what happened?” Tony walks around his workbench and hugs her.
“because as usual I’ve shown up and ruined Sharon’s life and hurt people i love.” she realises what she said after id leaves her lips. she said love the one thing she’s not allowed herself. the one thing she has no rights to.
“can I stop you?” tony asks and she shakes her head, no.
“well I don’t like it but you are your own woman now, Jellybean, but you know where I am if you need anything.”
“thank you, Tony.”

(y/n) makes her way to the garage and wasn’t prepared for what she finds. Where do you think you’re going, doll?“ Bucky say leaning against her car.
"Away, Bucky. I’ve done enough damage I’m sorry.”

“Sharon told us everything. None of it was your fault.”

(y/n) lets out the breath she didn’t know she was holding, “we both know that’s nor true. if I hadn’t have been so caught up in my ex, brad, Sharon’s parents and mine would still be here.”
“(y/n) there’s no way you could have known he was HYDRA, there’s no way you could have known you were used as bait in a hit on Sharon’s parents lives. but i know that if you wasn’t there that day Sharon wouldn’t be here either. she told us how hard you fought for her, taking all the hits, even taking a bullet to the leg. you may not have been able to save yours or her parents lives, but you saved hers. she owes you her life and she’s living it, she graduated college, she’s an avenger, she’s getting married and pretty soon her and Steve will start a family and its all because of you.”
(y/n) stands staring at him with fat tears rolling down her face. Bucky pushed himself off her car and walks towards her.
“you deserve everything she has too. all these years you have lived thinking you don’t deserve happiness and you do, so much. I cant let you leave here knowing you still think that way. I know I cant force you to stay but I need to tell you something before you decide what to do. I love you (y/n).
her breath hitches in her throat as she raises her eyes to meet his, "what did you say?”
“I love you.” he smiles.
“Do you mean it?”
“with everything I have.”
(y/n) drops her bags and falls into Bucky’s arms and he just holds her .

A couple of weeks later the wedding goes well. Bucky and (y/n) steal glances at each other across the alter and they couldn’t be happier for their friends.

At the reception Bucky seems agitated, “are you ok, baby?” (y/n) asks.

“Yes, doll. I’m fine.” he kisses her forehead and wraps his arm around her. 

Before long Sharon calls for all the ladies saying it’s time to throw the bouquet. everyone counts to three then Sharon turns around and hands it to (y/n) and tells her to turn around where she is met with Bucky down on one knee.

she brings her hand up to her face and has tears already in her eyes and he begins to speak, “ (y/n) i cant begin to put into words how much I love you. you mean the world to me. hell, you are my world! I cant see the rest of my life without you and its been that way ever since the day I saw you. the day I met you I told Steve I met my future wife.”

Steve nods and laughs “he actually did.” there was a few giggles from the crowd.

“(y/n), would you make my dreams come true, doll and become Mrs. (y/n) Barnes?” She stands with tears in her eyes and gives a small glance to Sharon who gives a small nod.
“yes! Bucky, a million times yes!” Bucky pushes the ring on her finger, picks her up and spins her around.
“I love you so much, doll!”
“I love you too!”
Steve and Sharon watch as Bucky and (y/n) dance and steal kisses whispering sweet nothings in each others ears.
“I’m glad they got their happily ever after.” Steve tells Sharon as he kisses her cheek.
“me too,” Sharon says with a smile, “ after all they have been through. id go against the world for her like you did for him. but after all, she is my Bucky.”

Why am I not enough ?

So I got this idea this evening of a little angst ereri drabble, and here this thing happens. For some reasons I thought writing it in english instead of my usual french would be a good idea, and also thought why not publish it on tumblr ? So here it is read it and enjoy ?

“Why am I not enough ?“

Levi voice is fill with anger makes Eren shiver.  But there is more than anger has he says those words.  Fear, confusion, sadness, and above all despair that makes Eren’s heart squeeze in his chest,

"Why am I not enough for you ?”

He asks again, locking their eyes together. Eren’s air escapes his lungs, as he loses himself in those piercing silver eyes, full of questions and regrets.

“Why am I not enough for you to stay?”

Eren feels like his body has turn to stone, every inch of himslef seems to be heavier, he can’t move, he can’t talk, he can’t avert his gaze. It’s not the first time they had this fight, but it certainly will be the last. Levi moves closer, kneeling next to him, and resting his forearm on his lap.

“Why are we not enough ?”

It’s more than what Eren can handle. He swallows hardly, holding back his tears, and turns his face away, as he wispers :

“You know why…”

Keep reading

Lucky I lived in America for 4 years (1)

Its here !! our long awaited Jeff fic :) Also this will be chaptered and i know the title doesn’t make sense for this chapter but i assure you it should will for the next one!! enjoy xx

Member: Jaehyun

Genre: Fluff i guess?? nothing really happens in this chapter tbh but the next one should be fluff??

Word Count: 1,154

Summary: ‘Your life suddenly goes from being carefree to being on edge every second of the day because what if it happens? But… nothings a problem for the almighty Jeff’

Next ( 2 )

“Jaehyun I’ve discovered something.” You say as said boy hands you your medication and a glass of water. “Oh yeah? What’s that babe?” He asks sitting down on the edge of your bed rubbing your back as you take small sips of your water. “I can’t understand Korean when I get these headaches.” You state bluntly, a smile threatening its way onto your face when you look at your boyfriend who’s looking you dead in the eyes whispering ‘what the hell y/n’.

Keep reading

I don’t make much of an effort to hide the fact that I’m a book person first and a show watcher (a very, very distant) second. My sense of the characters are almost completely informed by the book series. I’ve started a number of posts this week to lay out my opinions on the premiere but abandoned them all. Frankly, there are people who love the show and do a much better job of analyzing the jonsa/northern scenes better than I can or will. I deliberately avoided adding my thoughts to the mix for a variety of reasons, I don’t think anyone wants to hear them, tbh.

Actually, I will say one thing on Sansa. Wylla Manderly is loved in the fandom for speaking out, even against the orders of her liege lord. Sansa largely received a negative reaction for doing the exact same thing. Hmmmm…maybe it is about Sansa after all?

I have been thinking on the character of Lyanna Mormont quite a bit as I’ve seen a number of posts in my feed talking about her. She bothers me and I think I’ve finally realized why. There is a character who appears in the fifth book for all of a single chapter, Wylla Manderly. She gives a speech that I suspect most readers found to be incredibly moving. It brought tears to my eyes the first time I read it, it’s a fist pumping moment for sure. But, that’s not what makes what she does so great.

To lay the scene, Davos is appealing to Lord Manderly for aid and he is completely alone, surrounded by Freys and Manderly men-at-arms. He’s failing and he knows it.  All of this occurs in Davos III, aDwD:

Here is Davos:

Davos felt a stab of despair. His Grace should have sent another man, a lord or knight or maester, someone who could speak for him without tripping on his own tongue. “Death,” he heard himself say, “there will be death, aye. Your lordship lost a son at the Red Wedding. I lost four upon the Blackwater. And why? Because the Lannisters stole the throne. Go to King’s Landing and look on Tommen with your own eyes, if you doubt me. A blind man could see it. What does Stannis offer you? Vengeance. Vengeance for my sons and yours, for your husbands and your fathers and your brothers. Vengeance for your murdered lord, your murdered king, your butchered princes. Vengeance!”

Now, it’s important to note what’s happening here. Davos is alone, he is without support or ally. He’s trying to do the right thing and he’s failing but that does not matter. He is still trying. So, who speaks in his favor:

“Yes,” piped a girl’s voice, thin and high.It belonged to the half-grown child with the blond eyebrows and the long green braid. “They killed Lord Eddard and Lady Catelyn and King Robb,” she said. “He was our king! He was brave and good, and the Freys murdered him. If Lord Stannis will avenge him, we should join Lord Stannis.”

She speaks and what support does she get:

Manderly pulled her close. “Wylla, every time you open your mouth you make me want to send you to the silent sisters.”

“I only said—”“We heard what you said,” said the older girl, her sister. “A child’s foolishness. Speak no ill of our friends of Frey. One of them will be your lord and husband soon.”“No,” the girl declared, shaking her head. “I won’t. I won’t ever. They killed the king.”

Lord Wyman flushed. “You will. When the appointed day arrives, you will speak your wedding vows, else you will join the silent sisters and never speak again.“The poor girl looked stricken. "Grandfather, please …”

“Hush, child,” said Lady Leona. “You heard your lord grandfather. Hush! You know nothing.”

Wylla Manderly is told to she is foolish, that she should stop talking. She is told that her choice is to marry a Frey or be sent to the silent sisters. But, Wylla Manderly continues on:

“I know about the promise,” insisted the girl. “Maester Theomore, tell them! A thousand years before the Conquest, a promise was made, and oaths were sworn in the Wolf’s Den before the old gods and the new. When we were sore beset and friendless, hounded from our homes and in peril of our lives, the wolves took us in and nourished us and protected us against our enemies. The city is built upon the land they gave us. In return we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!”

But, Wylla does not get support from the maester:

The maester fingered the chain about his neck. “Solemn oaths were sworn to the Starks of Winterfell, aye. But Winterfell has fallen and House Stark has been extinguished.”

Yet, she continues:

“That’s because they killed them all!”

After this, Rhaegar Frey speaks up and Wylla challenges him too. They have a short back and forth where she calls him out. Her grandfather, Lord Wyman appears to be agreeing with Frey but she calls him out in open court:

“They weren’t.” Wylla Manderly stamped her foot.

“Be quiet, wretched child,” scolded Lady Leona. “Young girls should be an ornament to the eye, not an ache in the ear.” She seized the girl by her braid and pulled her squealing from the hall. There went my only friend in this hall, thought Davos.

Wylla Manderly does not appear again in the series, this is the one and only time we see her. So why did Martin take the time to put this exchange in here? After all, she doesn’t change the outcome, she doesn’t change any minds. In fact, if she had kept quiet or never appeared at all, the story could have continued on as it does. So why? Well, Brienne tells us:

“Seven, Brienne thought again, despairing. She had no chance against seven, she knew. No chance, and no choice.”

- Brienne VII, aFfC

Five words and Brienne gets at one of the central themes of the entire series. That is what Martin is telling the readers, it’s what he is hammering at us with from Ned’s death all the way to the Ides of Marsh. Do What is Right. Even when it is hard, even when you stand alone, even when you know you are going to fail. Ultimately, that’s what makes Wyllla Manderly and her scene so powerful, it’s why Martin put her in there. Yeah, she’s a total bad-ass who speaks the truth, like Lyanna Mormont. But, she did it when she was alone, she did it when no one agreed, when she had no support. Even though she failed, she still had no choice but to speak. Wylla Manderly mattered because she failed.

So, I compare the two characters, both young girls, both bad ass in their won way. But, only one really gets to the heart of Martin’s message and I’ll take her every time. And that’s my struggle.

I suspect some will come to the conclusion I’m thinking on this way too hard and that’s fine. I’m a book nerd and I pick this series apart, it’s what I do.

iwtv headcanon(s)

ok am i the only one who finds the beginning of IWTV so shady?? 

lol i know im not, so imma just go ahead and speculate–if you’d like to read, you may go ahead and do so c: same goes for sharing thoughts! id love to hear what you all have to say <3 but, beware, it gets pretty long, sorry folks >//<

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Tell me about Lexa and Clarke :') they seem so cute together

(oh my lord you better love me for this cause i had it all typed out then tumblr crashed so im a bit salty rn but ill admit this isn’t as good as the original cause that one was fantastic)


*also theres a lot of stuff thats probably not included or got skipped or whatever so yeah feel free to add*


Originally posted by wattpad

So Clexa is the wonderful ship of a very gay commander queen:

Originally posted by quasi-marxist

and a beautiful bisexual bad ass (nice ass too (but don’t get me started on the good Earth cleavage)) Space Princess:

Originally posted by clexa-emison

(life goals wife goal ^^^)

So this OTP starts because fuck boi #1 cant keep his shit together:

Originally posted by palpatean

and so that they can defeat the mountain men they team up and shit:

Originally posted by evynsings

so they’re working together and shit being LEADERS together aka falling in love but anyhow Lexa falls hard for our space princess because who wouldn’t? they fight a fucking gorilla and Lexa totally saves Clarke’s ass from another grounder

Originally posted by meafterdeath

and watches over her as she sleeps

Originally posted by fuelandfurnace

they even have a really deep conversation about love and loss and shit

Originally posted by hedaswarrior


Originally posted by ladybell013


but Lexa ends up betraying Clarke to protect her people which was a big big fuck up like the only time i did’t like Lexa was then but that leads Clarke to end up killing a lot of people and she doesn’t handle it to well so she ends up becoming 

Originally posted by ninookr


so basically Lexa asks Clarke for forgiveness and they basically get married i mean look come on

Originally posted by tinakris

Married AF

Originally posted by leeshy-loo-squid-squad

Clarke is hanging out with Lexa and stuff to try and smooth out shit that got fucked up between the grounders and sky people cause some people are just fucking stupid man like the fuck

Originally posted by leksakomtrikru

fucking idiot

so they are being all domestic and cute i mean what look at this shit the fluff!

Originally posted by atthisinlove

(also parallels to Lexa watching over Clarke AKA LOVE) 

oh and the Clexa child

Originally posted by my-mad-fan-diary


Originally posted by sherralotz


Originally posted by backwardabyss


okay but then shit goes down hill okay so you see this fucker

Originally posted by wonderswcman


Originally posted by nicolshaught

ugh it makes me so mad like wtf man not fucking cool but the death leads to a lot of anger and:

Originally posted by commander-of-the-grounders

So the season goes on and Clarke keep the flame/chip in her boobs (close to her heart) because its Lexa and she has a mini melt down when they want to smash her because i mean

Originally posted by adogree

man id be fucking devastated too i mean you just got laid by someone who means a lot to you then bang she’s gone and all thats left is an AI?! poor baby all she needs is a hug and a shock blanket (and Lexa but we won’t say that *sips tea*)

so on they go trying to figure shit out Clarke ends up going to the City of Light so that she can shut it down from the inside


Originally posted by holtzmedown


Originally posted by raccoonhearteyes



Originally posted by ohcommandermycommander


Originally posted by fyeahbellarkeandclexa

OH YEAH THATS RIGHT!!! you should of guessed i hope you did i hope you feel as good about this as i do cause damn!!!!


So the show goes and Lexa is helping Clarke Save the world!

Originally posted by thatasiannerd22


Lets be real y’all When you look up the definition of “OTP” theres a pictuer of Clexa and thats it!

Originally posted by giuliems

anonymous asked:

On the subject of 13rw like when i tell people i didnt watch it theyre like "omg whyyy???" So i say i can't cause i know i cant handle certain scenes but sure enough everyone wants a 5 paragraph essay with citations in MLA format on why i cant watch 13rw. Like you don't need my life story just take your stupid show and get away from me (sidenote, whys it getting a second season?? Like what are they gonna do in it? Relistening to tapes??)

Okay so firstly: Fuck those people

Secondly: I can go on a rant about the Second Season™ sooooooo….

Thirdly: The first thing that jumped out at me was “5 paragraph essay with citations in MLA format” SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Why 13RW Does NOT Deserve the Progressive Title People are Giving It

                                               An Essay by Me

13RW made its debut back in 2007 as a novel written by author Jay Asher. Now, the book had its problems with handling such a sensitive subject BUT these problems were only highlighted once the novel found its way to Netflix. 

The first problem is the fact that they do NOT follow guidlines laid out for them (by “them”, I’m kind of grouping them under the term “media” since this is the media) in a nifty handbook for media outlets called “Recommendations for Reporting on Suicide”, which outlines responsible ways to talk about suicide. This includes the acknowledgement that suicide is not so easily pinpointed to one or two specific events but the culmination of numerous causes, most often including mental illness. This also includes staying away from graphic depictions and descriptions of the suicide. Otherwise, you risk what is called the “copycat effect” where people will take these ideas of suicide and apply them to their own suicide. Which has already happened because of this show. 

Now, to the show’s credit, it does put a warning in front of the episodes. But warnings are an…. iffy sort of deal. For example, I was going through a difficult time when I first started watching the show. And when I saw the warnings, I figured that they wouldn’t phase me because usually I’m not very sensitive to things like that. I’m usually pretty good about separating myself from the story. But this was very different because the story doesn’t just focus on her, it focuses on all of this pain and regret and saddness over her loss, all of this attention and love she was getting afterwards. And for someone who was on the border of having a SHITTY™ time, something, almost anything, that would earn me so much attention and feeling from other people was appealing. I honestly sat down and thought very seriously about it before gathering myself and taking MANY walks outside to cool my head. And the worst part is that if I was feeling this way, someone more sensitive than me would be feeling 100x worse and would have no resources given to them at ANY POINT during ANY of those episodes. At no time did they list any resources before the credits, or peppered in the episodes. None. In fact the only alternative the audience is presented is in the line “[cutting is] what you do instead of killing yourself.” 

That being said- they then also try to bring in the issue of rape and sexual assault. Of which they also graphically show (which, again they do put warnings but) And this is where it gets sticky so I’m gonna bullet list people, or rather characters at fault here: 

  • Bryce- He’s the one that does the raping here (TWICE on screen) 
  • Justin- Sits back and does nothing to help Jessica, his girl, and lies about it to her face for months(?) before finally coming clean and telling her the truth but also trying to convince her that it’s okay because they just have to keep quiet about it. 
  • Hannah- Ah, the black sheep no one wants to talk about. The other person who ALSO witnessed the rape occurring and did absolutely nothing about it whatsoever until making the tapes where she spends then entire time putting the blame on Justin and Bryce despite being in there and witnessing the entire thing and going on to do, again, N O T H I N G to help Jessica either.

And of course, over the course of these tapes being listened to, no one ELSE does anything about any of this either until Clay gets his hands on the tapes. 

Which brings me to my next point: Mother. Fucking. Clay. Jensen. The boy who acted like a dick to her while she was dealing with the rumors and the bullying. The one we’re supposed to sympathize with because he wanted to bone her so badly but never got the chance. NEWS FLASH- Clay Jensen is a “Nice Guy” in sheep’s clothing. His entire character arc is trying to redeem this girl that he thought he was in love with because he regrets not being able to “love” her back to life somehow- despite the fact that his relationship does not: 

  1. Suddenly erase the rumors 
  2. Take away the fact that there is a counselor on staff who has no regard for his student’s safety or mental health 
  3. Fix her developing mental health issues
  4. Mean that people will change their minds so quickly

This just in- dating someone who has a mental illness, who has the kind of issues that she does, is not butterflies and rose colored lighting. It is not saying “I love you” and everything just being magical and okay. And that’s exactly the picture this show paints, there is an entire scene devoted to it. And this furthers the unrealistic and problematic picture that being in a relationship will solve all of your problems.

And, after ALL of this, there are the subplots being introduced in the show of: 

  1. That kid (Tyler?) about to shoot the school up because Hannah told those people about how he took naked pictures of her (but when Justin took a similar picture of her underwear and showed his friends- that was okay and didn’t deserve the same kind of punishment?) 
  2. Justin’s family life isn’t too hot and we’re supposed to sympathize with him and understand that this is why he acts out and he’s so devoted to Bryce because Bryce has on numerous occasions supported him and this is, presumably, why he does nothing to stop him from having his moment with Jessica (because to Bryce women are property, no different from an Xbox, and so Justin has to act that same way), why he goes along with Bryce sending out the picture of Hannah, and why he is trying to help protect Bryce. 
  3. Alex has shown signs of suicide on multiple occasions, including actively trying to kill himself at least twice in the show. 
  4. Jessica, now having to deal with her rape.

That last point is probably the one I want you to pay attention to most because the PR team or w/e released a video of Jessica’s phone in use. Justin calls Jessica a whore (or slut…. something) and she confronts him. And then, suddenly, the conversations flips to him saying how much he loves her and needs her.

Well, little miss Jessica, who has been exposed to the tapes just like the rest of us now, gets an idea in her head and good thing there are weapons in her house. She sends a snapchat of a gun to Justin and leaves a note on her phone addressed to her parents and that’s where the video ends. So yet again, suicide is used as the big dramatic plot device to move the story along. 

And in ALL of this talk about suicide not ONCE is ANY sort of mental illness addressed. There are a few glimmers of a serious conversation about it from an English teacher who then immediately gets drowned out because of whatever angst Clay is feeling over his unsatisfied Hannah needs.

The show tries to act like it’s the knight in shining armor riding in on the white horse of “Media Representation” when in all actuality it’s the court jester trying to stall his beheading by telling the King some convoluted drama just enough to plan his escape. 

It tries to say that it’s going to address the issues of rape, sexual assault/harassment, and mental illness. It tries to say that it is trying to bring awareness to suicide because it shouldn’t be an option. But the fact of the matter is: It doesn’t. The social media accounts the show runs only post “cute”, ~relatable~ pictures and quotes from the show, with little to nothing about any potential resources anyone might need or be curious about. 

The ONLY actual, real conversations that MAY be productive are in a video called “Beyond the Reasons” that is also on Netflix but presented as a completely separate entity that does not how up in recommendations after the show or otherwise, and had next to no publicity whatsoever around the release of the show. 

Overall, the conversations the show has stirred up are not about mental illness, not about how rape is reported or viewed in our society, and it’s not about how we can be working to prevent suicide in young people. The conversation has been about the show itself and the question of whether or not it’s a “good” or “powerful” show and if/how we should be letting younger, more impressionable people (i.e, middle schoolers and young high schoolers) watch this show. 

The writers and producers will sit there and tell you that they want to show this in a “real” way. They’ll say they wanted to portray these to mimic reality, the nitty girtty truth. Well, guess what? If you are going to take on that responsibility to be truthful about what goes on, about how these things happen, then it is ALSO your responsibility to make sure that you actually give people REAL WORKING alternatives. And the fact that there is no sort of master list of resources, no conversation in the show about how to handle all of this, no sort of conversation about these ISSUES THEMSELVES in the show proves that the writers and producers don’t care about being accurate. They don’t care about helping the community, they don’t care about representation. 

They care about views and money. 

Some articles/sources:

And some places to get help:


Imagine being prince Caspians best friend and constantly arguing with edmund but slowly falling for him.

When youd first met youd held a knife to edmunds throat. You were caspians personal guard and had protected him all his life. From them on you and edmund had constantly butted heads, arguing over battle strategies and tactics even over seats at a table. You were both so similar and dominant there was nothing you agreed on. However over the weeks you began to realise how similar you and edmund were. You had a lot in common and got on much better with your guards down. Your soon developed feelings for the king but refused to tell him. You were scared he wouldnt return your feelings, you had hated each other to begin with. You ignored it, pushing Edmund away to try and make it easier but it only made the two of you miserable. Youd kept all your feelings bottled up successfully until in battle you saw edmund injured and surrounded by the enemy and couldnt do it any longer.


Edmund stood panting in the middle of the battle field. People were fighting everywhere and edmunds arm was injured so he could barely hold his shield. There were hardly any narnias, the battle wasnt going well. Edmund took a deep breath as he was a group of people running at him. He raised his sword when a figure sprinted infront of him. The figure took the enemy by suprise and much as edmund and slew them in seconds but not without inflicting themself. Only when you turned around did edmund realise it was you. “What are you doing” you yelled “standing there like that!”. “Y/n” edmund yelled spotting the gash on your arm “your hurt!”. “You need to be more careful” you yelled “im only grazed its fine”. “No its not! Why did you do that!”. “Because your injured, you needs to retreat now!”. “And leave you out here no way”. “Ed im fine”. “No youre not if you were killed id never forgive myself”. In anger you grabbed him and kissed him. He kissed you back wrapping his arms around you. Someone crashed into you and you jumped up and slew the person. Edmund stood up to see you over the corpse. “I cant loose you either edmund, Ill be fine” you grinned “but do me a favour and keep yourself safe?”. He sighed “promise me you’ll turn back if anything goes wrong”. “I will i promise” you nodded and you ran straight into the battle.

Edmund found you after the battle. Limping towards the base, your left side a bloody mess. “Y/n” he yelled running to you. You smiled as his arms wrapped around you. “What happened?”. “War” you smirked an he shook his head “how can you laugh?”. “Well i cant very well cry can i?”. Edmund hugged you and you smiled as he picked you up. “You shouldve stayed back”. “You might me my king but i dont take orders from you” you smirked. Edmund shook his head and grinned “god you make me crazy ”. “Good” you replied kissing his cheek. “Try again” edmund smiled kissing your lips.

“I have to go” edmund told you. “Right away?” You asked “do you have to go now?”. He sighed nodding “my family want to go back and i kinda understand after the war we fought”. You sighed but wouldnt let your emotions show, youd do that after Edmund was gone. “Come with me” he said suddenly. “What?“ you asked. “Come with me” he smiled he took your hand and traced the bandage you still had on from the battle. “I love you y/n and i never want to be parted from you, you wanted to see my world so come with me, i promise me and you will have many more adventures and i will keep you safe ”. “But this world is barbaric” you frowned “i can solve any argument with a fight and just run off when i want, your worlds so much more civilised, so much more commitment”. Edmund nodded “it is but that doesnt mean its bad, its nice when people know you, when your wanted somewhere”. “But Caspian” you sighed “i cant leave me best friend”. “You can if he wants to see you be happy” a voice spoke and you turned to see caspian. “Cas?” You asked “you cant be serious”. “Y/n” he smiled taking your arm “you deserve to be happy, i want you to do this because i know youll thrive there, your amazing and i want you to show the humams just how much”. “But you…” you said tears in your eyes. Caspian wrapped his arms around you and you buried your head in his neck. “Cas i love you, ive never been without you”. He smiled “i know y/n, god ill miss you but because i love you ive got to let you do this, you know you’ll always wonder what if if you dont”. You smiled “but cas…youre all ive ever known, j protected you that was my job”. “You dont have any job now though, apart from to be happy and i dont see anyone who makes you happy like Edmund”. You smiled looking at edmund “i know” you said the lowering your voice “im scared though”. “Well theres a first time for everything” he smiled “embrace it y/n, it means it real”. You hugged caspian and nodded “lets do it”.

“Its all arranged” aslan told you “your transition into their world will be smooth”. “Thankyou aslan” you smiled stepping towards the portal. The penesives said their goodbye ans you turned to caspian. “Ill miss you cas”. He smiled “your going to be amazing with edmund, he’ll look after you”. “I know he will” you grinned. You took edmunds hand and leg go of caspian. “Youre omay with this” edmund asked. You nodded “lets go” stepping through the portal.