id like to be a cat now

Mental breakdown tag lol

do I use this script or not

also vedj - still going, but will probably miss some days and that’s OKAY
I’m worried for this video, because rather than generalising mental illness as important, and needs to be talked about, I go into detail about the specifics of what I’m feeling. And it’s not pretty. If you can’t relate, and I hope you don’t, I’m going to seem very very strange. But mental illness isn’t simple, it’s not all let’s blow on thumbs together to stop these darn panic attacks, or this cute cartoon girl crying in a corner. It’s so much bigger and uglier and more complex.
I haven’t been making videos because I didn’t know how to when my head has been consumed and overtaken by what I’m about to talk about. But I think I’ve figured it out.
so here’s the thing
you may have seen on twitter
i mentioned that i haven’t really felt like i’m here since i was 17 in a vid recently
and then within the last week that sort of upped as a problem by like, 80%
i went to wales for some shoots, felt crazy the whole weekend, then came back and got very panicky about the fact that I was going mad
I had slept fine, and I kept expecting to wake up better, but I just didn’t
I’ll explain what this all actually is and how it feels in a bit, plz hold
so I got back, and knew that I felt messed up, so tried registering to the doctors
walked there, in my weird dream state, took a proof of address cause I knew I needed that, handed it in, and then they said that I needed proof of address within the last two months
i was teetering on the edge of tears and also feeling really weird so I think they must have thought I was actually insane
I forgot how to say thanks and bye so I think I just left, dunno
walked home, in this strange, bright dream world
tried finding proof of address, forgot how to talk to my housemate, scared she was going to notice that I was drunk, except i wasn’t drunk
and then my mum called and said dodie
are you okay
and I just sort of
broke
i was sobbing, rummaging through bin bags to try to find some sort of proof of address, on the phone to mum, and I decided to visit home home for some sort of familiarity, cause I used to feel so normal and alive in that house, when I was younger
so I went home home, crying on the train, panicking about the fact that I was going mad and all my friends were like dodie wtf
that was when I tweeted saying I needed a break
then I saw mum and started crying about the fact that I left my old bedroom bed in dovan flat, cause I just wanted my normal bed in my normal room so I could feel normal
and I came home but of course I wasn’t magically cured because going to that house is not the same as time travel
i’m not taking a trip to 2012 when I go home, as much as I want to, i’m a broken dodie visiting a broken house and a broken ish family
I even visited my old primary school which shut down, like, years ago, and I wandered around with hedy
I don’t think that helped, cause it felt like it had just, grown leaves and aged in like 20 seconds
it just made me feel even weirder
so what am I feeling? Okay. let me explain. Or try to.
here are a bunch of messages I have sent to friends of mine, to try and explain wtf this is
“i’m so tired
I’m just so tired I feel like I’ve been awake for 4 days And I don’t feel like I’m here I feel like I’m drunk Like I’ve had three wines and shots and beer and I’m tired and ready to go home and I can’t talk to anyone because I’ve forgotten how I usually talk
I don’t even look like me
Everything is so wrong and weird and scary
I honestly think I’m going mad
I can’t stop crying
I’ve got such a bad headache” to lucy
And I’ve just constantly felt like Drunk and blind You know when you’re hammered
And everything’s really bright and you can’t remember how to talk properly and you’re not really taking anything in cause you feel really weird and you can touch things and see things and talk to people but you’re not really There
I genuinely genuinely think I’ve gone mad
And I don’t know if I’m ever going to see things like normal again” to sammy
“Here’s the thing
I’m alive
I can breathe
I can eat and talk and sleep and see and feel
So I should be okay
And objectively, I am fine
So why am I not
It’s one of those things that I keep thinking about over and over to the point where my head is like is this really happening and then I’m like is WHAT really happening
I used to not understand mental illnesses at all
I was like
Just think of cats and rainbows
But now I get it
It’s so much deeper in your brain than cats and rainbows
I used to say if I ever got dementia or something id fight it
But how can you fight it when the it is the thing you’re using to fight with
Dodie has gone full blown mad” to jon
now, thanks to the last vid, and to google, I’ve found out what this probably is
and I’m trying my best to register and see a doctor and get therapy and sort this out and also
I know what you’re thinking
if you have no idea what I’m talking about, if you’ve never had anything even close to this, if you are mentally dandy
you’re thinking dodie
you sound mental
just shut up,
turn it off
you’re fine
you’re obsessing over nothing, you’re attention seeking, just stop thinking about it
firstly, I am so happy and thankful that you feel normal and happy and go and enjoy your life because you can
and secondly, I would do anything to turn this off and feel normal again, literally anything. But I can’t. not right now. I don’t know how.
so. here’s my plan.
I’m going to act fucking normal.
I can still sing. I am still alive, on this planet, even though I don’t feel like it. I still find things funny, I still can taste food, I can make jokes, and write songs and hang out with friends, even though I literally feel like I’m hiding something from everyone and I keep looking at everyone as if I’m a robot.
but I’m going to sort this out, somehow. I’m going to sleep before midnight and wake up before 9, I’m going to give myself weekends, I’m going to do mindfullness meditation at 11am, and Im going to go running at least twice a week and eat healthy and drink water and not drink too much alcohol and treat myself when I’ve done well and not overwhelm myself. And I’m going to go to a doctor, and then therapy, and deal with this. But this will not consume me.
Yeah I feel fucking weird. Bring it. I’m so done with the constant buzz in my head - why do I feel like this why do i feel like this why do i feel like this
I just do. And I can’t change it right now. It’s not going to turn off. and I can’t just stop the world until I feel normal again, because I’ll get to my 70s and be like well shit, I missed it all.
So I’m going to do the best I can. I’m going to make the videos that make me happy. And I’m going to laugh about the fact that I’m a bit mental. Cause what else can you do.

Whilst I type this I’m on the phone to my bank to get a statement sent to prove my address to go BACK to the doctors to prove I live here then get an appointment to get referred to therapists. The NHS may be free but it’s not bloomin easy lol.

gotta say making this video was super healthy for me. It was good to edit together and see that I can pass as a functioning human.

ID #91674

Name: James
Age: 9
Country: USA

My name is James and I am almost 10 years old.

My main interest is in YouTube.
I would love to make a channel and become a pro YouTuber.
Another thing I like is…. CATS. I LOVE KITTIES. I have a cat of my own named Elliott (Male). And my sister has a cat named Tipsy (Female).
I like to watch movies. My favorite movies are Moana and like every Marvel movie ever made.
I do Online school in the 4th grade as of right now so I have plenty of time to send letters.
I LOVE food and music. Some of my favorite bands are One Republic, Hollywood Undead and PLENTY of more.
I love Gaming and my favorite games are Minecraft (on my laptop) and Ratchet And clank (on the PS4) and ALOOTTTT of other games oh and i have a cute little Blue laptop and I have Three sisters.

Preferences: Any age, Any Gender, Anyone who isn’t hateful.

ID #59771

Name: Nina
Age: 21
Country: Ireland

Hi all~~
I’m an Irish girl and while I love the culture and history of my country I have a huge interest in other cultures! I adore traveling and since I’ll be graduating from university soon I want to travel a lot. I’m learning four languages right now (Swedish, Italian, Korean, Mandarin).
I have two cats (one mine and one my sister’s technically!). I love art, my bed, warm drinks (especially coffee), watching kdramas and listening to music. I like being inside in my room or a cafe on cold rainy days, and outside on warm breezy days! I write poetry so I could send you some stuff I’ve written if you like that!
I’m a queer aquarius and in general a very open minded person so I’d like to find someone similar to chat with! I’d love to send postcards and occasional small packages so I can share some little things I like with you :)

Preferences: I’m not strict about age but 18-25 would be good. English is my native language so I’d like someone who can speak English (sorry, I can only communicate well in English and Swedish). Any gender, sexuality or race is great!

Ugh. Morning.

I dont know if its the worry for wednesday or my nap Sunday or what but I tossed and turned, had wierd vivid dreams and finally had to give up and get up and move to teh sofa.

Trying to decide if I want to try and watch a little tv or just lay down here and close my eyes and see if the wierd dreams stop and sleep starts. Usually when this happens its 2 or so am and I crash out around 6-7am out of pure exhaustion.

My eyes feel like a cat peed in them and my brain is all kinds of crash. PLus since my meds have worn off Im shaky, thistime of day is FUN.

This is where Id enjoy greenery and fall back asleep like a baby in the old days. Now its where Im up at 445am.

Crappy Monday everyone.

anonymous asked:

no offense but i get super weirded out by people who say they still love a certain person/character from their canon, but that character's a minor while the person is now an adult. like, I understand the feelings and memories are new and wonderful and you cant choose them, but maybe you shouldn't be so public about being in love with a canon child/teenager in the source if you're 18+. its creepy, even moreso to us current minors who ID as them. (canonmates who are also 18+ excluded)

me: man i havent read warriors cats in like… years…. smh i guess i just dont care for it now

*they announce warriors cats movie* 

me:

Kidheart games!

Hihi! I just thought id make a smol list of some cute apps i think kidhearts will like!
1. Clawbert-a super cute game that you can get lil stuffed animals from a claw machine
2. Club penguin island-i miss the old club penguin but the penguins look way cute in this one!
3.Talking Ginger- like talking tom but with a lil baby cat instead

And thats all i got for now! Please suggest me cute apps!

anonymous asked:

i never thought id see warrior cats discourse on my dashboard ... i was like 9 when i read the books so i forgot everything now i can jog my memory ty

Oh my god you should’ve seen my first blog. I bitched about warriors so much that series was shit

I was tagged by @softplum

name: emerson


nicknames: em, emi 

zodiac sign: Pisces


height: 5'10-5'11


orientation: i think I’m a lesbian? (idk! i’ve been id-ing as bi but i’m not sure!!!)

ethnicity: white


favorite fruit: raspberries


favorite season: fall


favorite book: a tie between any travel guide and the girls by emma cline 


favorite flower: daisies!


favorite scent: vanilla to wear and just to enjoy i like big flowery gardens when all the smells mix together


favorite color: pale pink (glossier pink)!


favorite animal: dogs!! (send me every dog pic)


average sleep hours: prob 1am-11am (no school so i mean)


cat or dog person: both!!! 


favorite fictional character: brianna from grace and frankie atm 


the number of blankets you sleep with: 1


dream trip: right now since ive done A Lot of Europe this year I’d say s/e asia for a few months is The Dream


blog created: first one in like early 2013 and this one in 2014


number of followers: 513 I think? i’m a bby I know

i’m going to tag: @tinyrosegrl @stirredstars @nikkoltre @violet-snail  @seeingin2d @frozenbullies @unbelievr @bonestowater @sleepygogh and anyone who wants to do this can say i tagged them!

anonymous asked:

The cat looks happy, and begins to walk away. Just then, a cloud storm blows in and it begins to rain. As predicted, the coat works, and keeps the rain off, but the cat looks cold and clearly dislikes it's now soaked fur... The storm might go away in a bit, but the cat doesnt have a collar. She seems unsure where to go...(If you dont want to continue this rp just say so, but id like you to answer it so i know you did get it)-Kitty

Google looked at the wet cat and quickly picked it up and put them on his head, trying to not get water on him. He walked quickly and into his apartment. Google sat the cat down on the couch and went into the kitchen.

now that a warrior cats movie is in production id like to remind you guys that when i was 9 i started reading warrior cats. up until moonrise i thought they were all humans

wI tagged my @sakurastormxxx wasss good girl
1. Favourite colour: pink, black
2. Siblings: 1, im the oldest. one lil sister
3. Relationship: siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingle
4. Pets: one cat with roommate? his names Jiji
5. Met a Celeb: just dudes from bands like cancer bats and protest the hero
6. Last song listened to: Dylan ross - Smootheoper8r
7. Gender: male
8. Favourite fictional character: oh fuck uhhhh….. Inuyasha or Itachi Uchiha
9. Zodiac: Leoo
10. Last thing googled: 408 LSX stroker
11. Coke or Pepsi: pepsiiiiiiiiiiiiii
12.Tea or Lemonade: tea
13. Time right now: 5:56
14. Favourite subject: art
15. Spirit animal: probably a house cat id like to say black panther but im super lazy.
@anothaarthoe @local-villain @machinegunjorge idk anyone else

Amongst The Leaves

This fic is for the modern witch au by Cat, whose birthday is today. Happy birthday Cat!! 

I’ve also already drawn art for this au here.


If you’re travelling - not going anywhere in particular, with no one to miss and no one to miss you - you might happen upon a curious forest. There, situated on the border of nowhere and in the valley of never-been, it rests in an eternal spring, never yielding to the annual happenings of the seasons and seemingly possessing a mind of its own.

Aoba Forest.

It owes its genesis, its very existence, to the accumulation of powerful magic from the stars, whereupon with an almighty feat of determination it pushed itself from the soil to reach with open arms towards the sunlight, ever growing, ever flourishing.

To an innocent onlooker, it may seem for all the world a normal forest, but you - you know better, don’t you? You might sense something is amiss, might notice the way the nebulous cloud of magic rests thick and tangible amongst the evergreen, holding in suspension dust motes and sparrows alike.

Here lives a witch - no family or material possessions to his name - who makes an unassuming life for himself amongst the trees. Borne of the celestial enchantment, he is tethered to the forest’s life force, a manifestation of its power in a human. He is more witch than human, however, living alone amongst the trees in untroubled isolation. Thus we come to a certain chapter in his life, nineteen years into his existence, where within his soul stirs an unfamiliar longing…

                                                        ❀ ❀ ❀

There he is again.

The one with the buds and shoots.

But no flowers.

Hanamaki eyes the mysterious figure from his vantage point in the trees, partially obscured by a curtain of viridian. The sections of trunk that he rests his slender hands upon are blooming, flowers burgeoning from where his green-stained fingertips clutch the rough bark. Absentmindedly, he lowers his face to his right hand and presses his nose into the sweet blossoms, chuckling quietly as the delicate petals uncurl at his touch, presenting their velvety complexions as yet more new blossoms push their way through the gaps between his long fingers.

Keep reading

parking lots + cth

> contains ~ light acknowledgement of alcohol and drugs. smut. very minor sexual harassment. 
> requested? ~ sort of by my friend (if you’re reading this now i hope you’re as sexually frustrated as i was with michael the other night)
requests are sent in here // masterlist

++

With the August weather, it was even warm in the night. The heat lurked in the darkness and surrounded you, bothering you to take off your worn out jacket. You knew you shouldn’t be taking the short way back to your house, with all the brick walls and alleyways and dripping water, and it being somewhere around three in the morning. You were in the mouth of a parking lot, however there was a low hanging ceiling along it, and only one car parked at the end of the lot. It was like a room, but a run down room with stained stone floors and wet-looking walls. You inhaled, swirling your empty cider can in your hand. It was only a couple more meters to go, then you’d be out of the lot. This was the part that unnerved you the most. You saw a few cars stuttering every now and then, perhaps a stray cat teetering across the ground, but other than that, it was like an abandoned school – sad, empty, and reeking of cigarettes.

For once, it wasn’t as desolate as it usually was. That didn’t comfort you in the least.

A group of boys trailed across the parking lot, laughing obnoxiously and swirling presumably empty vodka bottles. They were all a walking mess – syringes hanging from their pockets, fake IDs almost dropping from their hands, the stench of alcohol hitting clinging to them like bats to a cave ceiling. You wouldn’t have been surprised if one of them pulled out a rat from his hoodie pocket. You stared as they approached you, shutting your eyes and praying they would pass you without hassle. Of course, a group of drunk teenage boys will do anything but leave a young girl wearing a skirt that hits her knees alone at three in the morning. 

They broke from their bustling conversation to stare at you. There was a lot of lip biting, and the readjustment of hoodies to perhaps make them look more decent. Some gesticulated to their crotch, to which you ignored. You looked behind you. You were too far ahead to go back without them catching up, meaning you’d have to hold your head up and continue walking.

One of them whistled at you, and a scoff was drawn from your throat. 

“Sweetheart, mind pulling your skirt down a bit? Unless you wanna sit on my lap, I could be pulling it down for you.” 

The cluster of boys laughed, high fiving each other and clapping the one who spoke on the back. They were congratulating him, you realised, for shouting at a girl in an empty parking lot. You would’ve said something back, if you weren’t trembling with sheer terror.

“Look, Princess, your ass is almost on full display,” another one of them said, and just as they passed you, a hand gripped your behind. You froze in place. His nails dug into your skin and you were close to crying. The can of cider previously in your hand clattered to the stone floor. The sound echoed all around the parking lot. “You’re lucky someone hasn’t dragged you behind a bush and fucked the sense out of you, yet.”

You felt the blood rush to your face, your stomach, your thighs, your head – your everywhere. Your heart was pounding loud in your ears, and you were rooted to where you were standing, with an empty can of cider praising beside your legs and a group of seven boys staring at you, their hands reaching out to touch you. None of them actually did, though, other than the pervert who grabbed your ass.

There were more footsteps behind you, approaching from the entrance of the parking lot. The sound was shallow against the stone – the sound of a worn sole, or a light heel. You began to advance forward, but the boys clapped a hand on your shoulder and pulled you back – then to your surprise, let go almost immediately.

“So, I see you’ve met my girlfriend.” 

There was a voice from behind the entire group, and it shocked them all to see the new arrival. Even you turned around, wanting to see how the ‘oh-so-powerful’ looked. You expected him to have a girl cradled into his arm, as he was referring to a girlfriend, but he didn’t. He was a couple of inches taller than all the other boys, with soft brown skin and hair curling at his temples. His full lips held a cigarette, and his eyes weren’t ogling at you, which you were beyond grateful for. But, who was his girlfriend then? You certainly didn’t know him, and he didn’t have anyone with him. Perhaps they met her before.

The boys all shuffled away from you, moving beside the new boy so they wouldn’t be too close. You were beyond confused, but turned on your heel, picking up the cider can and rushing ahead.

“Oh, baby girl, you can’t be too mad at me for this morning, can you?” the new boy said, and you whirled around. 

Right. So apparently, you’re this guy’s girlfriend.

“I-I… who are you?” 

The group of hoodies and alcohol and drugs erupted into laughter, shaking their heads and sipping from their vodka bottles. You turned up your nose. The stench of vodka was unbearable, and you couldn’t guess how they were swigging it straight from the bottle with nothing to dull the strong taste.

“You didn’t wear your glasses today, did you?” your ‘boyfriend’ said. Glasses? What?  “Here, let me come closer. This dump is pretty dark, anyway.”

You could feel your pulse rising to your fingertips, your heart racing faster as he approached you. You weren’t sure how high he was, or how much he had to drink, and what frightened you the most was that you didn’t know what he planned to do. He was close enough for you to feel his breath fanning your face, and you could see the little goosebumps rising across the skin of his throat. He didn’t smell of alcohol, and he dropped the cigarette from between his lips onto the ground, where he doused it with the tip of his shoe.

“I’m Calum,” he whispered gently under his breath. “Just pretend to be my girlfriend – it’ll get rid of this lot.”

You nodded, and relaxed slightly. 

He pushed a bit of hair from your face, and cradled the side of your head with his palm. You felt the calluses on his fingertips, and you tried not to freak out again. How many weapons do you have to hold to get calluses? One? One hundred? You reminded yourself he could’ve grown calluses from playing guitar, or any other stringer instrument.

“I’m gonna kiss you, if that’s okay,” he said. “Just push me off if you get too uncomfortable.”

You nodded again, and his lips pressed to yours. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would feel – he was gentle with you, not kissing too hard or parting your lips for you. It was a sweet, short, closed mouth kiss, and you would’ve enjoyed it if you hadn’t been groped a while before.

“Y/N, my name’s Y/N,” you told him, pecking his lips once more.

He raised his voice, so the boys behind him could hear. “Are we okay now, Y/N?”

He nodded at you to play on.

“Y-yeah, sorry for this morning.”

We looked around together, and the group had already left. We saw them heading down the hill, and they were far away from the parking lot – they were far away from me. 

I sighed in relief, resting my head on his chest. “Thank you for that.”

“It’s no problem. I apologise for my friends.” He shook his head, and I stood up straight. “They sort of forgot the whole ‘don’t be an asshat to scared looking people’.”

“I’m not a scared looking person!” you objected; you laced your fingers together to stop them from shaking. You wondered why you hadn’t began to cry yet.

He raised an eyebrow, and laughed. His smile was large, and took over his whole face. You couldn’t help but to smile, too. He just seemed so happy.

“Do you want me to drop you off at home, or something? It’s pretty dark outside and I don’t want you to run into any more trouble.”

Everything in your mind should’ve told you to say no. All the teachers of the safety lessons you had in PSHE from Year 5 through to Year 11 would be looking down at you and shaking their heads. Although Calum helped you away from a couple of perverts, it didn’t automatically make him a safe person to be in a car with. Your mother always told you, once you were in a car with somebody, you’re in a closed space with them. If you got into that car with Calum, he could drive you anywhere he wanted. He could do worse things to you than those dickless teenagers did. And yet–

“Yeah, but I don’t want to go home just yet. Can we sit and talk in your car?”

He gave you a measured look. “Sit and talk?”

“Yeah. Why do you seem so incredulous?”

He chuckled, scratching the back of his head and bringing out his keys from his pocket. “No, it’s fine. What do you want to talk about?”

The car unlocked with a short noise, and he opened the door for you to get in. He followed behind you; you were both sitting in the back seat. Plugging his phone into the AUX, he tapped on a Green Day album and let it play quietly in the background. You hummed to it gently.

“You. Tell me about yourself.”

You played with your fingers on your lap. Although it wasn’t the right time, you couldn’t help but notice how attractive he looked. His jaw was prominent, sharp and bordering his face perfectly. His eyes were narrowed and dark, his lips plump and large. They were on yours for a while, you reminded yourself.

“Well,” he began. “My name’s Calum Hood. I’m nineteen, and I play a bit of bass and guitar. I like poetry – especially any by Edgar Allan Poe – and I really like champagne.”

“Posh ass,” I teased. “I didn’t know people could be attractive and classy at the same time. Impressive.”

“Says you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I can tell,” he observed. He was closer to you now, his hands resting on yours. “From the lilt in your voice, the way your hands move when you gesture. The way you walk. You’re very classy, sweetheart.”

“Ugh, don’t call me sweetheart, I’m done with being called sweetheart for today.”

He hummed thoughtfully, intertwining your fingers together. “If I kiss you again, would you mind?”

You grinned, feeling it spread your lips apart. “Of course not.”

He leaned over, cupping your face in his hands. His mouth was on yours, gently touching your lips. You could feel how soft he was – how soft his lips were, the way they were light with you, and how his tongue brushed against yours. You opened your mouth a bit, and moved so you were on your knees, your hands tangled amidst Calum’s hair and his hands on your waist. You could tell how badly he wanted to touch you more, but he wouldn’t unless you said it was okay. You shifted so you were sitting in his lap, grinding onto his crotch. You felt a spark travel through your body, the denim scratching the inside of your thighs through your skirt. Calum was warm when you kissed him – the back of his neck was warm when your fingers brushed it, his hands were warm resting just along your stomach.

“Do you want me to take off my shirt, Calum?” you asked him.

He groaned. Hearing your name while your hips were so hard on his was almost too much to take.

“Yes, please. Is it alright if I take off my jeans?” He watched you carefully. He wanted to make sure you were okay with everything; he didn’t want you to think of him to be like his stupid friends.

You hummed in response, pulling off your crop top from around your chest and unzipping Calum’s jeans. He bit his lip when seeing you in your bra. Although it was a regular T-Shirt bra, the intimacy between the two of you and the sight of you in it really drove him over the edge. Feeling your kind hands on the skin of his pelvis as you pushed his jeans as far as you could down his hips made him want to kiss you again, but he didn’t want to overdo it. He was scared you’d get tired of his lips, and he had other places he wanted to put them.

“Like before, tell me if I make you too uncomfortable, yeah?” Calum reminded you. 

Smiling, you kissed him one more time, then sat away from him a bit. “I’m yours, tonight.”

He climbed over you, careful not to hurt you in any way. Straddling your hips, he kissed along your chest. Quiet, soft kisses from one collarbone to the other. They tickled, and you giggled a bit.

“What’s so funny, baby girl?” he purred into your ear, sucking on your neck. You felt his lips evidently, until he hit your sweet spot. You bucked your hips and whimpered unintentionally. “Am I making you feel good?”

Biting your lip, you nodded. Your stomach was tied in knots of anticipation and delight. You felt Calum’s erection pressing between your thighs; you desperately rubbed yourself on him, kindling a desperate moan from his mouth and having it vibrate against your neck.

“Sit up, Y/N. Let me take off your bra.” 

His hands moved to your back, unclipping your bra with one hand and resting you back down on the car seat. You were out of breath while he touched your breasts, letting his mouth track over them and his fingers play with the nubs of your nipples. You arched your back up into his mouth, just as he moved along to your stomach. You felt him bruise your skin with dark hickeys as he reached your skirt. His mouth was hot, burning your skin in the best way possible as it touched you. You tugged at his hair, and he moaned.

“Hair pulling kink?” you asked.

“Mm, maybe.”

You tugged at it again, a bit harder as he slipped off your skirt and pushed pulled off your underwear. You cursed yourself for not matching your bra with your pants, but you definitely weren’t expecting this. You watched him put your underwear in his jacket jeans pocket, pulling you closer to his lips by your thighs. He sucked on the inside of your thighs, and you lifted your hips off the car seat. He pushed you back down, moving towards your clit and circling his tongue over it. You whimpered.

“Say my name,” he said into your core. “If you still remember it.”

“Fuck – oh, my God, Calum.” 

He flicked his tongue over you quicker, gliding it across your heat and back up to your clit. He sucked roughly, pulling up your pelvis and pleasuring you with half your body in his grip. You had no control left in you – even if you wanted him to stop, which you never wanted to happen, your fingers were too weak and your legs were too numb. You dug your head into the seat, grasping onto the safety hook above you. You had nothing else to hold onto – it was that, or the door handle.

“Calum, I’m gonna–”

“Not yet, Precious,” he said, releasing himself from your core. You whined in exasperation, the cold air hitting your core quicker than expected. “I want you to feel my cock inside you when you cum. Is that okay?”

“Yes, yes, yes, Calum please.”

“Can’t get enough of my name, can you?” he teased, slipping a finger into you to check if you were ready. “Fuck, you’re so wet. I can’t wait to feel you.”

“Are you hard enough?” 

His hands stuttered as he pulled you closer, making sure you would be at the closest proximity as possible when he entered you. He tugged out a condom from his jacket and tore it open hastily, rolling it onto himself and lining up to your entrance.

“Y/N, you had me hard when you sat on my lap.” 

He pushed into you slowly, and kissed you as he did. It felt so good, to be filled up with him and to have his thumb circling your clit. You gasped into his mouth, adjusting to his size and digging your nails into his thighs. You don’t forget to pull at his hair with your other hand, just to make him sigh through his nose and kiss you harder. You both stopped kissing for a while, him keeping his head in the crook of your neck while you felt yourself shake as his hips meant yours. You felt him pulsing in you, a rhythmic pound matching the one he delivered to your sex.

A knot formed at the pit of your stomach, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“I’m close,” you managed to say in between heavy and torn breaths.

“Me too, baby. I want you to cum first, yeah? I want you to cum and say my name.”

His hands grip your waist tighter, his thrusts becoming sloppier, but he tried to slam into you harder. You were shouting out his name as you climaxed, clenching your walls around him and letting him reach his high himself, releasing into the condom and kissing you on the lips. Hard.

He rolled off you, sitting on the other car seat, pulling off the condom and wrapping it up with the wrapper.

“I should probably give you my number,” he said after a while, “because I think it’d be awesome to take you out on an actual date one day.”

“Champagne at your place?” you taunted.

He gazed at you pleasantly, leaning over and pecking you one more time on the lips.