Haircut Woman: More of a crew cut? Or more of a taper cut?
Me: Uh, whichever of those is just a regular hair cut.
Haircut Woman: A little more along the sides? Or a little less along the sides?
Me: I’m not sure. I really don’t know much about haircuts, why don’t you just do whatever you think will look best?
Haircut Woman: All right, whatever I think will look best. And do you want that done with the scissors, or the clippers?
Me: Whatever’s easiest for you.
Haircut Woman: What about the length?
Me: I don’t know, normal length.
Haircut Woman: The lengths are numbers, one to ten.
Me: Uh, seven. Whatever.
Haircut Woman: Seven all over, or seven in the front but less in the back?
Me: Please, please, please stop asking me questions I do not know anything about haircutting I just want something that makes me look like a person with slightly shorter hair I am really sorry but beyond that I cannot help you just start cutting.
Haircut Woman: Okay (begins cutting)
Me: (Phew! Peace and quiet at last!)
Haircut Woman: So! How about that weather, huh?
Me: (Aaaaaaah! Panic mode! Abort conversation however possible!) Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I have a rare disease that prevents me from talking and getting my hair cut at the same time.
Haircut Woman: (Makes a mental note to write down on her Tumblr tonight about the horrible classist sexist white guy she met today who refused to even talk to her just because she was a haircutter and not some sort of bigshot white person like him) That’s all right. Anyway, is this the right way of doing the edges, or should I re-edgify them further?
Me: Uh, no, that’s fine.
Haircut Woman: And should I do the sideburns with a parabolic hypercut, or the New Guinea sinusoidal wave cut?
Me: Uh, whichever you prefer.
Haircut Woman: You know, I think your hair would look really good if I did the back in a sort of truncated icosahedral pattern, is that all right? Or do you want something more irregular?
Me:FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HAIRCUTS AND I HAVE NO STRONG AESTHETIC PREFERENCES I JUST WANT MY HAIR TO BE SHORTER THAN IT IS RIGHT NOW PLEASE JUST STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS AND GIVE ME WHATEVER HAIRCUT YOU THINK WOULD LOOK BEST AND I SWEAR I WILL BE OKAY WITH IT.
Haircut Woman: Well, okay.
(the Haircut Woman clips for a few minutes, then hands me a mirror)
Powerful Model Could Help Predict Monsoons And Cyclones A Month Away
by Michael Keller
Japanese atmospheric scientists reveal they have cracked the code to model a complex weather phenomenon using a new supercomputer. They say their work will help build more accurate forecasts of monsoons and tropical cyclones up to a month away.
Their research focused on moving regions of wet and dry weather that travel over the warm parts of the Indian, Pacific and Atlantic oceans. These regions move eastward at up to 18 mph in a regular 30- to 60-day cycle of thunderstorms followed by suppressed precipitation. The phenomenon is called the Madden–Julian oscillation (MJO), and influences deadly monsoon and cyclone development. It has also been linked to the periodic El Niño/La Niña weather event in the eastern Pacific Ocean.
Efforts to model the globe-spanning MJO’s variability have been limited by the complicated physics that happens within the churning clouds. But atmospheric researchers at the Japanese Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology and the University of Tokyo employed the K computer to accurately recreate MJOs of the past, proving that it will be important for future forecasts.