‘’Rukia doesn’t have boobs, & isn’t feminine enough to be with Ichigo’’

‘’Rukia is a ugly old midget’’

‘’Rukia & Ichigo are JUST friends’’

‘’Ichigo liked Orihime’s ‘revealing’ dress’’

Ichigo’s literal reaction

‘’Orihime looks like Ichigo’s mother, so she must be with Ichigo’’

‘’Rukia and Chad ship ichihime’’


What if Ichigo had Rose’s power?

As requested by anon. :)

This is actually the original request - when I first accepted it, I didn’t think I could get a whole list out of just that, so I said I’d include other people’s powers too. Turns out I was wrong - I can totally get a list just out of this. So let’s pretend that Ichigo had Rose’s power all along - what would Bleach be like then?

1. Ichigio’s zanpakuto would always look like a whip.

Since Ichigo is always in shikai, his zanpakuto would never actually look like sword - Rose’s released zanpakuto is a whip, after all. 

Renji: W-what’s with that zanpakuto??

Ichigo: What? Is it bigger than everyone’s? I only had Rukia’s for comparison, so I didn’t know.

Renji: Not bigger. Just….floppier.

Ichigo: Floppier?

Renji: So floppy.

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: I really don’t like where this symbolism is going.

2. Ichigo vs. Renji would be a WHIP FIGHT

Rose’s shikai extends and can be swung around to attack, much like Renji’s shikai. So the big fight between Ichigo and Renji would include two very similar swords. Wrapping around each other and, um, wow. This would make the Ichigo and Renji ship something fierce. Anyway, Renji would still lose, of course.

Renji: I’ve…..lost?

Ichigo: You got whipped!

Renji: …

Renji: Dude.

3. Byakuya would have no complaints about Ichigo’s bankai.

‘Cause Rose’s bankai? Super giant.

Ichigo: BAN……………KAI!

Byakuya: …

Byakuya: Okay well yes maybe you do have a bankai but you’re still a dirty peasant.

4. Byakuya would nearly win by piercing his own ears.

The effectiveness of Rose’s bankai depends entirely on his opponent being able to hear - that’s why Mask got around it by piercing his own eardrums. In the big fight between Byakuya and Ichigo, Byakuya would definitely do the same - we saw in the fight with Zommari that Byakuya is perfectly willing to sacrifice his own body to win.

Ichigo: I gotta stop explaining my powers to people.

Byakuya: Why are you talking when I can’t hear you?

5. Hichigo would have to take over.

And that would be why Ichigo almost loses and Hichigo has to take over - because Ichigo starts to lose after Byakuya negates his hearing. Hichigo would then win using his special crazy stabby powers. 

Byakuya: This is so much creepier when I can’t hear anything.

Byakuya: Why am I talking to myself?

6. Hichigo would teach Ichigo all the crazy whip moves.

Hichigo is great at teaching Ichigo new ways to use his zanpakuto - like when he swung it around on the chain in canon. Just think of all the cool ways Hichigo could come up with use a whip!

Ichigo: Swinging the whip around his head like that…..I never even thought of that!

Hichigo: ……really? This one is pretty darn obvious, King.

7. The music thing would frankly be a little weird.

Rose’s power is music-related - Rose acts like a conductor, and his sword powers imitate various instruments. That imagery works great for Rose, but it would frankly be a little weird for Ichigo, who doesn’t seem like a music person.

Ichigo: Now I’m gonna use my piano powers on you!

Ulquiorra: That’s a guitar.

Ichigo: Oh, really?

Ulquiorra: Why do you even have this power?

8. But the four elements thing would be perfect.

Rose’s power also seems to cover the four elements….maybe. We saw him use water power and fire power, but then his fight got interrupted so we didn’t see him use air or earth. But surely his power encompasses those as well. And since Ichigo has all the powers, him having a zanpakuto that used all the elements would be perfect.

Ichigo: So, Toshiro, you have an ice sword?

Hitsugaya: It’s Captain Hitsugaya and yes.

Ichigo: And Hinamori has a fire sword.

Hitsugaya: Yes.

Ichigo: Kensei has a wind sword.

Hitsugaya: What are you getting at…?

Ichigo: It’s just weird to think of having just one elemental power at a time!

Hitsugaya: Shut up.

9. His illusion powers would give him a connection to Aizen.

Rose’s zanpakuto also has an illusion element: he uses music to create physical illusions. And since Ichigo’s big opponent in the first half was Aizen, who also had illusion powers, that would be some pretty cool parallelism.

Gin: Illusion powers, huh? Just like Aizen. 

Gin: You are one creepy kid.

Ichigo: …

10. There would be so much less slashing.

To be honest, although Rose’s powers are super cool, there would be one problem: since Ichigo would never have a sword-sword, there wouldn’t be all the cool slashing. And I’d miss that.


Yhwach: Well I guess that works.