I have a v. important Ice Crew question. On that drive back from Madison, when it was a great idea to shove 5 (mostly large) guys in 1 room, where did everyone sleep? But seriously, I still can't stop re-reading your beaut of a fic.
Well, I think the original plan was: Ransom and Holster in one; Shitty, Jack and Bitty in the other (”since we’ve all shared beds anyway, brahs!!!!” “when did you and bitty share a bed?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” “Oh, you LOVED it Bitty, don’t even.” “It was the first night I met him. I thought I was being kidnapped. Then he got naked.” “You needed to be warmed. You had been sleeping outside for weeks!” “It was one week. And it was summer, Shitty. There was no call for nakedness.”)
HOWEVER, the plan was derailed when they arrived to find that they had ended up with a room with only one bed. A king size bed, to be sure, but still… five guys are not going to fit in one bed.
“A FIVE PERSON SPOON!” Shitty shouts. “OH MY GOD THIS MIGHT BE A RECORD!”
“I’ll go get–” Jack starts because there are other rooms available.
“JACK ZIMMERMANN, DO NOT,” Shitty says.
“Bro, you can’t separate us!” Holster says, Ransom nodding solemnly behind him. “We have been through a harrowing day!”
“He’s right,” Shitty says. “And in this trying time, it is vital we stay together.”
“Y’all,” Bitty says. “It was not even–”
“Hush,” Shitty says. “Save your voice for the giant spoon. Tis when the secrets come out.”
“I don’t think-” Jack tries again but the others are already changing into Pajamas and Bitty is giggling, the anxious line of his shoulders loosening, and so– “Fine. Everyone has to wear clothes.”
“I CALL MIDDLE,” Shitty yells. And then he is sprinting towards the bathroom to brush his teeth first - or he tries, Ransom and Holster tackle him and Jack thinks he is going to get to go first by stepping around them but he doesn’t account for Holster’s wingspan and he finds his ankle trapped and he falls to the ground and–
In the end, Bitty leaps over the pile of them, uses the bathroom first and then secures a spot on the edge of the bed as “I am too small to spoon anyone!” Jack ends up curled around him and maybe it would feel intimate but Shitty slots himself around Jack, talking loudly about his butt and how it should be classified a wonder of the world and Jack has to roll over to try and bat him away because Shitty is playing drums on his ass. This motion somehow pops Holster off the bed and that causes another fight.
None of them sleep for more than a few hours at a time. The night is spent shoving each other and then talking and laughing and debating ridiculous topics and then trying different configurations and Shitty was right– Secrets do come out in the giant spoon.
A bunch of thoughts on this kind of thing:The issue with the concept of “Ice Girls” is NOTHING to do with having women on the ice scraping it, running between period on-ice events, doing general fan/community promotional stuff, etc.
The issue with “Ice Girls” is the presentation of these girls in skimpy, unnecessary, impractical outfits that are there to present them not as a valued member/extension of the organization but rather as a little extra bit of sex appeal for the straight bros there watching hockey.
Replacing the Ice Girls with an “Ice Crew” in practical outfits (UnderArmor branded tracksuits in this case) isn’t “fixing” the fans’ issue with this when the Ice Crew is entirely male. This isn’t an all or nothing Ice Girls situation. It’s entirely possible to have a co-ed Ice Crew in these sorts of outfits.
I’m not sure what’s more laughable. The fact that Philly’s idea of fixing this solution involves the complete elimination of female ice crew members or San Jose’s idea of a co-ed ice crew with men in practical outfits and women in the sexualized outfits.
I want to see women on the ice. I want to see more of a female representation in the NHL. If this means having some women scrape ice, run games, wander around the concourse, so be it. The Ice Crew is part of the franchise, it’s an extension of the franchise into the community and the arena. I want to see female ice crew members bonding with little girls when they visit local schools, when a little girl goes to a game with her family. I want that, and that can be done with those female ice crew members wearing a zip-up jacket or wearing a jersey the same cut as the men (rather than those weird cropped messes. If they want the fitted women’s style, fine. Their freedom to choose!)
The “Look, you hate the concept of Ice Girls, we got rid of the Ice Girls.” isn’t the answer. “We got rid of the sexualization of Ice Girls” is the right answer.
Hi all! Just letting you know that the Ice Crew AU is NOW FINISHED!
Because of editing, most of the new stuff (about 8k) is actually in PART 3 (with a better ending at the very end, now in part 4), here is a snippet of the new stuff:
The thing about having routines and liking them, at least for Jack, is that he’s always been able to tell when something is off.
Before he met the ice crew, he had a strict schedule and he knew that if he could just make sure to follow it, to mentally check off everything on that list, he would be fine. And he had contingencies. If he craved ice cream and ate it, he knew to do 15 extra minutes of running the next day and some crunches to make up for it. If he felt he was hungry all the time, he went to his nutritionist. If he woke up before his alarm more than 3 times a week, it meant his anxiety might be acting up again and he had to identify what was making him anxious and fix it or maybe call his therapist and switch his meds around.
The ice crew had started to chip away at his strict schedules and now that he’s living with them, they’ve almost wiped them out completely. At least the little ones. He keeps his mornings the same and game days the same but in the evenings there is no way to know whether everyone is going to want to play Halo or whether Shitty will be wearing clothes or whether Ransom and Bitty will decide that tonight is the night for an SQUAT CHALLENGE and Bitty will have to ignore him in favor of doing a million different kinds of squats (and then both will be sore for days afterwards even though Jack told them to not go so hard). There’s no way to predict when exactly Shitty will tackle him or when Holster will decide to join in and sing at the top of his lungs with Bitty or when Lardo will repaint that one wall in the living room again just because she feels like it.
Somedays the Haus will be almost silent and sometimes it will be the loudest place on earth and sometimes everyone will listen to him when he says they should probably quiet down for the sake of the neighbors and sometimes they will just turn the volume louder.
So his schedule is out the window but Jack is still fundamentally a person who likes to know what is happening so he finds himself quietly categorizing how his roommates act when they feel a certain way and what he can do to help them and it’s not something he does consciously (because when he does actually think about it, it makes him feel like all those times he’s been called a robot are true) but he gets good at it.
At reading his roommates even though almost everyone else in the world is a mystery to him. He works them into his routines just like he did before.
Summary: Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.
He’s not, of course.
Enter the Ice Crew.
AKA: The Ice Crew AU
This fic is so good.
Excerpt - “So you like hockey, right?” Shitty asks suddenly. Jack blinks and opens his mouth to say of course. Of course he likes hockey. He’s been doing it his whole life and he is very good at it and it’s all he’s ever wanted to do ever so yes.
He says it aloud just to prove it. “Yes.”
“Okay, well… if you want, we are practicing tomorrow at 11am,” Shitty says. “You should come skate with us. If you want. Chill more like. Nothing that will get you in trouble with your trainer.”
“Umm,” Jack starts. He… he had planned to just do cardio. He has a schedule. He likes it. “I don’t–”
“No pressure,” Shitty says. “Just if you feel like it…”
“Did you guys see that!” Chowder says. He sounds excited. “That was so fast!”
“Um,” Jack says.
“Bro,” Shitty says, but he doesn’t sound reproachful. “We are going to need to come up with some handicaps for you.”
“Left-handed!” Ransom yells. “Make him play left-handed!”
“Or, like, only shoot from center ice,” Nursey adds.
“Skate on one foot,” Dex says.
“Let’s start with the left-handed thing,” Shitty says with a smile. “But if you start making those shots we are banishing you to center ice.”
Jack smiles and switches hands and fumbles his next few passes getting used to it and in fact, he has to concentrate on it so much that he forgets to feel awkward and–
Jack plays professional hockey. Not only that, but he plays professional hockey on a team that won the Stanley Cup last year so the Ice Crew is nowhere near the best players he’s shared the ice with. They are not all secret hockey talents but–
Holster and Ransom have a level of coordination on the ice that is downright freaky. Once he gets warmed up, Chowder turns into a somewhat terrifying goalie who drops in and out of splits like no one Jack has ever seen. Dex is pretty intimidating in a face-off and Bitty is the fastest thing Jack has ever seen on the ice.
Shitty is actually pretty terrible but he laughs the loudest and comes up with crazy challenges that even Jack struggles to complete (because why would you ever need to skate while balancing a puck on the end of your stick??) and many impromptu races (that Bitty wins) and that’s before they start practicing “trick plays.”
The Falconers have a few trick plays that they like to try sometimes.
They are not like these.
The Ice Crew has a trick play where they try to hide Bitty behind Holster so when Holster veers off the goalie will watch him and miss the fact that Bitty still has the puck. They have another where Holster and Ransom link arms and form a “goal barrier” to try to block shots (based off soccer, Shitty tells him as Holster and Ransom both fall in the background. We’re still working out the kinks.) There is another one where the person closest to Bitty picks him up and throws him and Dex and Nursey seem to be attempting to perfect one where Nursey slides through Dex’s open knees and it doesn’t seem to serve any purpose “except wouldn’t it be fucking nuts!” Shitty keeps trying to do a handstand, Bitty sometimes does spins and twirls (“he used to be a figure skater,” Chowder tells Jack. “Isn’t it so awesome!!”), and Jack doesn’t realize it but about twenty minutes in he stops being so so worried about failing and relaxes.
When Shitty wipes out after trying to do a jump like Bitty, Jack laughs.
It doesn’t go unnoticed.
“I see how it is,” Shitty grumbles, glaring at him with a smile in his eyes. “If you think it’s so easy, why don’t you give it a try?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Bitty says. “Jack Zimmermann is not going to–”
“Okay,” Jack says. “Bet I can land it before you do.” It’s gentle, as chirps and challenges go and he’s not sure he even did it right but Shitty laughs harder.
“Oh, lord,” Bitty says. “Well, just wait a minute, hold on, I got to at least tell you the basics before you go on and injure yourself and we all get fired.”
So then Jack spends twenty minutes being told how to properly jump and land (“not that you’ll really be able to on these dang hockey skates”) and then he falls (probably for the first time in years) and meanwhile all the other boys are doing it (and sometimes even landing the jump) and it takes Jack four tries.
He gets a rush of satisfaction that is almost unfamiliar….
When they all drive away, it’s only been a little over two hours but to Jack it feels longer. Like something has changed.
Also, as he watches the five of them pile into one car (for some reason it seems Lardo is driving and Bitty called shotgun even though that means Holster, Ransom, and Shitty are all crammed in the back and, all told, it is a 5 minute production that involves a good amount of cursing and please, bitty, we’re sorry about the pie!), he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to go with them.
He also can’t help wonder if maybe they could be friends.
okay so i finished ice crew (like a week after everyone else bc i don't rly go on tumblr anymore lol) and i cried a little and then i cried a little more bc i couldn't cry with shitty and tater in a big group hug (since they're FICTIONAL BUT I GET TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED TO REMEMBER) but anyway i was wondering are we ever going to find out what happened in the week bitty took to get up to faber?
Ah- first of all, I’m so thrilled you liked the fic! And Tater was an unexpected fave of mine so it’s always a relief when people like him! :)
As for Bitty’s week of travel… I’ll have to think about it? And not in a “maybe I shall fulfill this prompt” way- that’s just how all my fics start. I have to sit and just think over different possibilities for an hour or two and play with different scenes.
… previously I would have said that there isn’t that much plot to it but actually now that I am thinking about it a little bit…
It would probably start with something like:
“The first night, he doesn’t get far. The door closes behind him but he can still hear his mother’s crying and so he walks until he is at least out of earshot. Then he stops and stands and stares and he’s in front of the Abbotts’ house and they always have the best Christmas lights except there aren’t any up right now because it’s August.
Members of the LA Kings Ice Crew will be participating in a live feature on KTLA’s morning show tomorrow, May 4. They will begin live tease segments as early as 5:00 a.m. with the feature expected to begin live shortly after 7:00 a.m.
This is being shot on location in Santa Clarita area. The feature is about sunless tanning and Colour Couture, the official airbrush tanning company of the Kings Ice Crew. They’re planning to interview Colour Couture’s owner, Monica Blanco, as well as talk to some of the Ice Crew members about the benefits of sunless tanning, dangers associated with sun/tanning bed exposure, etc. They’ll also be airbrush tanning 2 Ice Crew members (Sande and Nick) live during the segment. Both Ice Crew members will be in swimwear, and the others will be in their uniforms.
I wonder how old are the Ice Crew? Maybe college age?
Well Jade called Ice a Twerp & Uncle called him a teen in an episode… So maybe Ice is somewhere from 17-19 yrs old. MC Cobra could be any where from 18-22 and maybe DJ is the oldest or he could be the youngest…
Since DJ was tricked into getting 2 of the most useless powers…