iblog

So yeah, I’m not the pretty one, I’m not the talented one, I’m not the girl who writes that well. I dont know, maybe because I’m just me. Yes, just me. Never the head turner, the eye catcher nor the one you’ll fall for. It saddens me everytime i look in the mirror and kinda feel that I’m nothing special..

It’s a worst feeling waking up one day and realizing that things are different. Although they say that change is a constant thing in this world and it is what makes life exciting, there are changes that I won’t ever want to happen. I am so scared to wake up one day in a totally different atmosphere — in a situation I’m not used to.

I’m only in my young adult years, but there are already some major changes that happened in my life. Maybe these are all part of growing up and I have to accept it no matter how painful it is. But even after so many months or years, I still can’t seem to fully accept some of these changes. Like it still saddens me whenever I realized that the people who I used to see and be with everyday are gone now. Some left this world already, some got married and have their own families now, and some simply left my life and went back to being some sort of strangers. I miss these people and it brings heartache whenever I looked back on those memories I have with them. But there are things that cannot be undone, and all I could do is hold on to those wonderful memories, while hoping that one day I’ll get over this melancholic feels I got from visiting the memory lane.

Perhaps, there are people I could still be reunited with. However, being with them again won’t erase some parts that already changed. Like when I bond with my sibling who got married, although we could still do the things we used to do, at the end of the day we need to part ways — she needs to go home with her family while I have to go home alone. It pains me in the same manner as when a family member needs to go back abroad after a week-long vacation here.

Some changes are unexpected and it comes with a big surprise. With that, you cannot blame me for fearing changes. There’s no way I can be fully prepared for changes.

before you leave a person, think of them and imagine their face. try to remember the best and worst days you had them, the first time you meet and how you became close. try to think of the times when they’re all the ones you needed the most. refresh your mind with the memories whether they are all good or bad and think about how you are going to regret leaving them.

Childhood friends

One day we both went back to the place where it all started. I saw you at the exact same spot where we used to go to everyday when we were young. Minutes passed by without anyone of us uttering a word. I didn’t know what were you thinking that very moment. But as for me, I just was staring at a blank space until a series of memories suddenly flashback. 

I started crying. 

Then you asked my why. I immediately wiped my tears and laughed. I said, “nothing.” You looked away as if you didn’t care at all. So I bowed down my head and felt sad. I started crying again. Until, out of nowhere, you held my hand. You held it so tightly. 

Then you began talking. You told me how much you miss the old times. You told me how you miss me. You told me everything I’ve been dying to hear from you. Finally, you told me you love me but …

you also told me that someone already replaced me in your heart and that this is goodbye. Slowly, you let go of your hand and walked away.

Naranasan mo na ba yung magkatext kayo tapos may gusto kang sabihin sa kanya, Yun bang natype mo na, tapos maiisip mo agad yung mga negative things na pwedeng mangyari pag sinend mo yun sa kanya. Kaya sa huli hindi mo na lang itutuloy dahil baka masaktan ka lang.

  • Hazel Grace Lancaster:A girl who just wants to see the real world but is totally afraid to do so. Became an introvert with books as her escape and is on the edge of dying until he meets one guy who changes it all..
  • Augustus Waters:A happy go lucky guy who has alot of hidden thoughts. Someone who loves to have fun so he could keep the pain away, but then meets this one girl who intuduces a new life to him, a more meaningful one..

i always reblog some ask things and still hoping for the 0.00001% chance that theres someone who still wants to talk to me even just for a second of his/her life. but i always failed and end up hurting. maybe this things and me really not meant to be or having/making friends are not fated to meet soon or later or forever.

EVERYONE, READ THIS.

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When I blog about someone, he/she dont know if its for him/her. Because I blog for random people. And no one can understand my thoughts in life. I think randomly and unpredictably. When I saw some interesting things, i will blog about it. I also blog about how i feel today,later, tomorrow and so on. No one can see my true self. I have an unwanted thoughts and it still running fast but alone in my mind. I want to focus to my happy memories and thoughts but it seems that the negative in it cant detached easily. Sometimes its right but it always not right. I wonder how my thoughts will end in a nice way and i wonder if how can my thoughts produce. Im not capable of anything, blogging about nonsense things, though i couldnt help myself to question everything, and then i will found my words in a wrong term thats why most off people here hate me or despise me. I wanted to be a good person without any flaws but i know i cant, well life is most adventurous if its that way. My rambled thoughts and incompetent mind.