iblog

So yeah, I’m not the pretty one, I’m not the talented one, I’m not the girl who writes that well. I dont know, maybe because I’m just me. Yes, just me. Never the head turner, the eye catcher nor the one you’ll fall for. It saddens me everytime i look in the mirror and kinda feel that I’m nothing special..

She’s scared to fall for a guy again. It’s like, she wants to cry over that stupid thought. She can’t explain it, she’s confused. She thinks she likes the guy but she doesnt want it that way. She’s not ready yet.

EVERYONE, READ THIS.

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People may think that I’m hard to be with. Maybe because I don’t socialize that much and when I do, it’s always with a few people. I’m not snob. I’m not anti-people. I’m not just comfortable being in a large group. I don’t know how to converse or how to even get along. I always think that I’m boring and people may think I’m weird and corny. I don’t know. I really find it hard. That’s why you might see me alone all the time. I usually preferred being away from everybody because in that case, I don’t have to try hard and won’t be pressured to talk with the people surrounding me. Being alone frees me from these anxieties. I just hope that people will get to understand that everyone is not good at conversing with other people. There will always be fear of judgement and rejection.

June 4: I miss you the moment you walked out of my door. I swear I’d chase you but your “I don’t love you anymore” still lingered my mind.

July 2: I miss you but I am too mad to talk to you so I let vodka do its work to make me forget you.

August 13: I miss you so I picked up the phone to call you but you were already asleep or you just didn’t want to talk to me.

September 25: I miss you so I decided to just drive around your house hoping I’d see you. You no longer hang out that much by the window.

October 29: I miss you but I finally decided to go out with friends so I could forget you but I kept typing messages but I erased them all.

November 12: I miss you but I managed to spend the last two weeks without visiting your facebook page.

December 28: I miss you but Christmas was fun. Last year’s was the best but I surrounded myself with the people who love me.

January 8: I miss you and I still think about you everyday but there’s no pain anymore.

February 15: I miss you but Valentine’s yesterday didn’t hurt that much even if the memories we made last year filled my mind.

March 15: I am thinking about you but I no longer miss you. I don’t crave for you anymore. I don’t try to find you in crowds anymore. I knew this day would come. Thanks for everything.

—  hardest 10 months of my life

Kapag nagmamahal ka dapat marunong kang magmahal ng buo, walang labis at walang kulang. Kasi mahal mo yan e. Dapat matuto kang tanggapin lahat lahat ng bagay na tungkol sa kanya. Lahat ng kalakasan at kahinaan niya kahit mismo yung mga nakakalait at kakulangan niya sa buhay niya kasi pag natutunan mong tanggapin at mahalin yun ikaw mismo sa sarili mo masasabi mong mahal mo siya at kaya mong punuan yung mga bagay na meron pagkukulang sa buhay niya. Minsan nga kapag mahal mo ang isang tao baliwala na sayo yung mga bagay na wala sa kanya eh at ang tangging iniisip mo na lamang eh yung makuntento ka ng totoo sa kung anong meron sa sitwasyon niyo. Mahalin mo siya ng kung ano at sino talaga ang pagkatao niya mahal mo yan eh kaya matatanggap mo kung sino at ano pa siya.

10

she was just like me… like any of you, she had hopes, she had fears, but we pushed her. And you can only push someone so far before they break.

The movie is about a girl named Carrie white. Her mother was raped by her father and believed that she was born of sin. Her mother was very religious, too religious that she thinks it was only God who controls her life, she has.. problems. Carrie has some sort of power, she can move things that she later discovered in her highschool life when her mother decided to let her study outside her home. She was so innocent that she has no idea what reality is. She became an introvert and because of that, her classmates started bullying her, called her names and did bad things. Her gym teacher was her only hero, she defended her and there was this one girl, Su Snell who realizes what carrie has in her situation, Su was one of the bullies but she knows it wasn’t right, she stoped. Thought of ways to help carrie and she knows that carrie deserves happiness and one way is carrie going to the prom. Su talked to his boyfriend and explained that she wants to make carrie happy after what they did to her. Su Snell’s boyfriend agreed and asked carrie to the prom, she was hesitant but soon accepted the invitation.

It was a magical night for carrie, after everything that she has been through. Even for one night, she deserved to be happy but that was what she thought. Chris, one of carrie’s bullies planned of letting her win queen of the night so she can ruin carrie’s night, well actually her whole life. Chris was so angry at her because she was banned from prom after what she did to carrie. When everyone was cheering for carrie and her date Tom Ross, Chris pulled the string with a pail containing pig blood which ruined carrie’s dress. She was a laughing stock that night. Seeing blood all over herself and the fact that everyone was laughing at her, carrie was shocked. She didn’t know what to do. The worst part is when the pail fell into Tom Ross’ head that knocked him down, that’s when carrie became furious. She was angry at everyone, she started using her powers and killed everyone in the way. When she got home, her mother saw her crying. her mother never wanted her to go to that prom, she thinks her daughter sinned. She tried to kill Carrie but it was carrie who killed her mother. She doesn’t know what’s going through her mind.  Su saw carrie crying on the floor while holding her mother’s body. Su tried to help her but it was too late, the whole house was going down. Carrie saw the future, Su was pregnant and she knows that Su needs to live. She used her power to drag Su out of the house after that, Carrie and her mother died, died with sorrow in her heart.

 If you can relate the movie to real life. Any person can be Carrie White, an introvert but anyone can also be Su Snell. The one who understands why a person is like that. Judgement is never the answer. It’s knowing your place and helping others. You can never know what’s on someones mind so try to respect one another or face the consequence of karma.

Life with God isn’t bulletproof.

It means you can still experience deep sadness in spite of all the blessings you’ve got. You can still feel the negativity inside you you thought you already disposed. You can still feel like you are alone and miserable.

But life with God means healing. There is a slow and sometimes painful process of healing and letting go of things you thought will stay, like rage, sadness or even depression.

Life with God means deep faith and amazing grace. Faith that no matter what it is that hold you back from living your life you will still rise from the floods of pain. And God’s amazing grace that rescues you from all these misery and storms of life.

Life with God on earth isn’t bulletproof but it means you have Him and He’ll always be bigger than the storms and all the things life throws at your way.

dear person reading this,

i wish you happiness in life. not the kind of happiness that is temporary. i want you to have the kind that lasts for a lifetime, and it is because of the right things or right people because the right things are meant to stay. and another thing i want you to have is the courage that will make you find that happiness in your life. you are loved. don’t ever forget that. just continue your day even if it’s shitty. you’re awesome. 

OF COURSE MOST OF THE BOOKS WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN THEIR FILM ADAPTATIONS. WHY? NO ONE CAN COMPETE WITH YOUR OWN IMAGINATION. WHEN YOU READ, YOU IMAGINE, YOU DIRECT YOUR OWN KIND OF MOVIE INSIDE YOUR HEAD EXCEPT FOR THE STORY LINE YOU CANNOT CONTROL BUT YOU VISUALIZE EVERYTHING BASED ON HOW YOU LIKE IT SO THAT’S HOW YOU GET BIG EXPECTATIONS WHEN YOU FIND OUT THERE WILL BE MOVIES MADE BASED ON THESE BOOKS.

Dear guys,

Girls get rejected too.

Just because you’re the only ones who mostly do the courting around doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re the only ones who could ever feel rejected or pushed away by someone they like. Our pride is high so we can’t just say “I like you. Like me back” or “Like me instead of her” or whatever just to get your affection but when we deeply like someone, we confess despite the way it may sound desperate and the result would 75% be rejection. 

To the friend I almost lost

What exactly is happening? Are we still good? Is everything really okay?

In the presence of silence, comes the awareness that we almost parted ways. You stopped bothering me the same way I stopped bothering you. We knew it but none of us even initiated to talk about it.

A storm tried to destroy us. Though it didn’t get to fully break us apart still it caused disconnection between us; like a WiFi connection that gets unstable during a terrifying storm. We felt the effect of that disconnection for some time — weeks or maybe a few months. We took a break as if we were a couple asking for some space.I started living my life without you, who used to be always by my side. Likewise, you did the same. 

“I miss you” 

“I miss you too”

We were actually talking but not in the way we used to. The long conversations including the short non-sense ones turned into one liners. Time passed by. The storm was gone. The connection became stable again. We are working on it. Slowly but surely. Careful steps … We are taking each steps carefully because one wrong move may tear us apart completely. We may not turn back the kind of friendship we once had, but I’m glad I hadn’t really lose you at all.

Is there really a God?
  • Someone:I don't really believe in god or anything.
  • Me:Okay. But have you been outside at night and you look at the stars and you just can't help but admire them? The universe is so vast and still unknown but we all know it's really beautiful. Have you tried looking into a microscope and see something so detailed whether it's a piece of a plant or a cell or whatever it is? It's so exquisitely made, right? So detailed that the whole thing it was part of before couldn't be right without a single part that you saw in the microscope? Did you also know that the earth is placed so right that if it's located an inch closer to the sun, we will burn and if it's an inch farther than it, we would freeze?
  • Someone:Yes. I've noticed those things.
  • Me:So there's gotta be something or someone behind all of these. There's gotta be someone so intelligent beyond our minds could ever be, someone who could explain our existence.
  • Someone:So what's the point?
  • Me:Everything is so beautifully made. Every detail of this planet, of this solar system, of this whole universe is beautifully made so that we could all exist right now. I don't think we just happened at some point. It doesn't make sense. If there's a creation, there's gotta be a creator.
  • Someone:Point taken. So there's a God behind all of this.
  • Me:And aside from those things, have you seen yourself? You're a work of art. There's gotta be an amazing artist who molded you into you are right now. God is showing Himself through His masterpieces. Who you are right now is His greatest masterpiece.