ian quiet

If Jamie and Claire (and Fergus and Marsali) could text: First chapters of Drums of Autumn Edition
  • Marsali: FOR THE RECORD
  • Fergus: oh mon dieu not again
  • Marsali: OH AYE
  • Claire: told you so, fergus
  • Marsali: THIS AGAIN
  • Fergus: Milady you are not helpful
  • Marsali: I am STILL NOT PLEASED with being left behind like this
  • Claire: let the record ALSO state that Mother Claire was on your side
  • Claire: but that male-r heads prevailed
  • Fergus: chérie, come now, you understand why it had to be this way
  • Marsali: oh I most certainly DO ken why
  • Fergus: then no need to fash, non?
  • Marsali: because you needed a break from your pregnant wife
  • Fergus: !!!! That's not fair,
  • Claire: it does raise that question
  • Fergus: Milady pleasssse tais-tois
  • Fergus: and marsalou, mon amour, you KNOW that is not the case
  • Marsali: and HEAVEN FORBID you should stay here WI ME YOURSELF
  • Fergus: mo chridhe,
  • Marsali: NAE
  • Marsali: YOUVE CHOSEN GALAVANTING ABOUT LIKE PAUPERS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
  • Claire: to be fair we do have gemstones,
  • Marsali: TO BEING THERE FOR THE BIRTH OF OUR CHILD
  • Claire: so we're gallivanting like non-liquid princes
  • Marsali: WELL I HOPE YOURE HAPPY WHEN I DIE IN CHILDBED
  • Fergus: chèrie, don't even SAY that
  • Marsali: just you WATCH ME
  • Fergus: mo ghraidh please don't
  • Claire: Marsali dear you're going to be fine
  • Fergus: See, milady herself says
  • Claire: ...but I do fail to see why a man would CHOOSE to be away from his sweet wife in her time of need 🤔
  • Fergus: 😡😡😡😡😡
  • Jamie: FOR THE LOVE OF BRIDE
  • Jamie: I CANNA ABIDE GROUP CHATS
  • Jamie: I leave for a quarter hour and notifications to last me to samhain
  • Jamie: MARSALI, DINNA DIE
  • Jamie: AND CEASE THIS MAUDLIN DRIVEL
  • Jamie: WE DID WHAT WE ALL THOUGHT BEST
  • Claire: except for mE!
  • Jamie: FERGUS, AYE, YE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE STAYED ON JAMAICA
  • Jamie: SSNCH, STOP STIRRING THE GD POT
  • Claire: 😁😁😁
  • Jamie: IAN, YOU'RE BEING AWFULLY QUIET WHERE IN BLOODY HELL ARE YE
  • Ian: across town playing cards
  • Jamie: oh for the love of
  • Ian: AND GUESS WHAT WON A WOLF AND GONNA KEEP HIM!!!!!!!!
  • Jamie: WTFH
  • Claire: Of COURSE you did
  • Marsali: Oh I see, so a WOLF is fine but no pregnant ladies allowed??
  • Fergus: YOU ARE MISSING LE POINT CENTRAL
  • Jamie: we're NOT keeping a wolf Ian
  • Ian: oh but we are 😊
  • Claire: if I had to guess, I'll wager we are
  • Fergus: QUI IS THAT IL NEST PAS SAFE POUR LE BAIRN
  • Marsali: THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU IT WILL NEST PAS BE SAFE POUR *YOU*, CONNARD!!!
  • Ian: oh you guys canna name the bairn Rollo okay?
  • Ian: cause that's the dog's name
  • Marsali: aww that's adorable, Ian! Send a pic?
  • Jamie: afckingdhiathisfamily
Valentines's Day

Draco Malfoy X Reader

(A/N: My first time posting an original fic on my own blog! Give me all your thoughts and feedback, good or bad! Y/N: Your Name Y/H: Your Hogwarts House) 

Warnings: None? (Valentine’s Day hate?)

Originally posted by nellaey

“So, have any plans for Valentine’s Day yet?” Your friend Ian asked you across the Y/H table. His eyebrows were raised in what some would think is a mocking way, but you knew he wasn’t being mean. He was just giving you a hard time, like he always did. 

“Oh pretty much the same as always,” you responded airily. “Burning stuffed bears and ranting about what an awful greeting card holiday Valentine’s Day is.” You saw Ian grin, but then your gaze drifted to a certain Platinum blond Slytherin boy who always seemed to catch your eye. 

Draco Malfoy was sitting at the end of the Slytherin table, looking deathly bored as Pansy Parkinson tittered on about something in her shrill voice. Ian’s eyes followed yours then rolled back to you, a smirk twisting his lips. 

“How about, instead of purposely isolating yourself on one of the most loving holidays of the year you ask someone out. Maybe a certain Slytherin with ‘enchanting grey eyes and a killer body’?” Ian recalled the way you described Draco when you got tipsy two months ago late night in the Y/H common room. It was the first time you told anyone about your infatuation with Draco, and Ian had kept pretty quiet about it until now. “Listen, Y/N, jokes aside you should really give it a shot with him.” 

“He’s not just another random though, he’s Draco Mal-” you began but were waved off by an exasperated Ian. 

“I know, I know. Draco Malfoy. Sole air of the Malfoy bloodline. Slytherin prince. Gag.” Ian made a vomiting face that made you giggle, a sound that echoed through the emptying Great Hall. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Draco Malfoy look your way, but you quickly turned back to Ian to avoid making it obvious you were looking at him. “He’s not really all that stuff, Y/N. He’s a normal person who probably enjoys letting all that go when he gets to. You should just approach him like he’s anybody else, because he is.” 

The Great Hall had mostly cleared out, only a handful of stragglers left at each table. You were surprised to see Draco still hanging around, he was usually extremely punctual but today he seemed to be waiting for something. 

You noticed Ian collecting his things to head off to Herbology, “Just think about it, okay? I’d hate to go to Madame Puddifoot’s with Katie alone.” Ian tossed you a conspiratorial wink, then strode out of the Great Hall. 

Sighing you collected your things and made to follow Ian toward the exit. You were looking around to see if Draco had departed yet when you nearly collided with someone lurking in the doorway. 

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I-” you cut yourself when your eyes connected with the cool grey eyes you day dreamed about constantly. 

“Don’t be sorry, I was standing in your way, it’s my fault,” Draco looked at you in a soft way that wasn’t quite a smile but made your insides melt all the same. “Y/N, correct?” 

You suddenly forgot how to speak English, you were so flustered by Draco’d casual demeanor. So you just nodded, hoping you didn’t look as stupid as you felt.

“I’ve seen you around at the Qudditch matches, you enjoy playing?” Draco inquires, seeming genuinely interested.

You realized he was actually asking you a question and tried to compose yourself to form a coherent response, “Oh uh, no. I’m awful at playing, but I love watching Quidditch. It’s so high energy, and it really inspires house comradery.” 

Merlin’s beard. What the hell did you just say? If he didn’t think you were ridiculous before, he would now. You just hoped this would end soon so you wouldn’t say something completely awful. 

But Draco actually chuckled after considering your response, “Yeah, I suppose it does. So you don’t fly then?” He questioned and began to walk down the corridor. You assumed he meant you to follow so you kept pace with him, captivated by his striking side portfolio. 

“Ah, yeah I do fly. I may not have any talent on the pitch, but flying is still the most invigorating feeling ever. Just you and a broom in the air, the wind pushing against you, the breathtaking views, it makes me feel alive. I know that probably sounded a little cheesy,” you shifted your gaze sheepishly to the ground. 

You were embarrassed about going on so openly about your passion for flying, but you suddenly felt a light pressure on your arm. You looked up quickly and saw Draco trying to catch your eye. The two of you stopped in the middle of an empty corridor. The emotion on Draco’s face was so open and raw, you were stunned. 

“I don’t think it’s cheesy at all,” he started. “I know exactly what you mean, when you’re up in the air it’s a feeling like no other. Like anything is possible.” 

Suddenly the stoic, confident Draco Malfoy you were used to dropped away, revealing someone more real, more vulnerable. 

“I know this is going to seem sudden, but would you like to fly a few laps around the pitch with me sometime?” Draco looked at you with a face full of expectation. Your breath caught in your throat as the weight of his words registered, and you realized that the Draco Malfoy had asked you out on a date. 

Unsure of what else to say, you squeaked out: “When were you thinking?” 

The corners of Draco’s mouth tilted up. “Tuesday? If that works for you.” He was grinning in earnest, his eyes wide and almost sparkling you thought. 

“Valentine’s Day? You want to fly brooms on Valentine’s Day instead of going to Madame Puddifoots?” You questioned Draco, but scolded yourself for sounding like you were turning him down. 

“Roses, tea, and candy hearts? Not really my thing but if you prefer-” 

“No!” You nearly shouted. “Um, no. I’d much rather have a lap around the pitch than have a half naked baby throw dead rose petals in my food.” 

Draco chuckled and began to walk away. “It’s a date then, see you Tuesday, Y/N.” 

You were in utter disbelief at what had happened, but before you could be too swept away, something occurred to you. 

“Draco, wait,” Draco turned, mild concern painting his face. “I don’t have my broom,” you informed him. You expected him to be frustrated, but instead he broke into another genuine grin. 

 “Don’t worry,” he said. “There’s plenty of room for the both of us on mine.” He grinned mischievously and continued to walk away, while you stood there stunned at the morning you had had.

You and Me (Ch. 4)

Summary: Without warning Terry Milkovich gets released from jail. He tries to sabotage Ian and Mickey’s wedding.

Word Count: 2095


The morning of the wedding has arrived. For the first time in a long time, Mickey wakes up earlier than his husband-to-be. Ian is facing him with tight grip on his waist. Mickey is facing him as well, refusing to move from the protective touch. He brings him fingers to Ian’s head and traces the outline of his face. Watching Ian Gallagher sleep was an absolutely breathtaking moment.

After a while, Mickey begins to notice Ian’s eyes start to flutter. “Mornin,’” Ian says incoherently.

“Morning, mumbles.” He nudges himself closer to the taller boy and closes his eyes again.

All of a sudden Ian starts to laugh. “We’re getting married today, Mick.” Mickey nods and smiles, still with shut eyes. “We’re gonna be real life married, not just ghetto married. Can you fuckin’ believe it.”

“I can,” Mickey says softly.

“When did you know you were in love with me? Don’t say I’m gay and ignore the question because yes, I already know that I am gay,” Ian says. It amazes Mickey how quickly he wakes.

Mickey bites his tongue at first because this is something he would never admit, but for Ian, it might be worth it. “Um–” Mickey puts his head down. “I-I kinda knew I was in love with you the second you came after me with that crowbar.” Ian hears the bashfulness in his voice. “What about you?”

“You were straddled on me and about to beat me to a bloody pulp with that crowbar. Then you dropped the thing on the side of the bed and I saw that look in your eyes right before we ripped each other’s clothes off,” he laughs. “That’s when I knew it.”

“We were so fuckin’ young.” He laughs and breathes into Ian’s body. “Guess that’s how we know it’s real though.”

Ian squeezes Mickey tightly. “And here we are about eight years later, getting ready to get hitched.”

“That’s some crazy shit, man.” He reaches around Ian to get a smoke. “Fucking crazy.” He kisses Ian, and comfortably lays his head on the other man’s chest.

* * *

“My brother is getting married!” Mandy screams at her father. “To my best friend! To a person he fucking loves! Not a some Russian whore that you forced him to marry the first time! A whore took his baby and ran back to her fucking motherland!”

No one knew Terry Milkovich was getting released from prison anytime soon, and this happens to be the worst day for it to happen.

Terry pushes Mandy out of the way so he can get to the guns. Before he can grab which one he wants, Iggy steps in front of him, placing a knife to his neck. “Listen, Terry. You’re a fucking sucky father, so if you come anywhere near my brother and his soon-to-be husband, I will have no problem slitting your throat.”

“Show some fucking respect to your father,” Terry pushes his son. “No faggots are allowed in this family. I’ll kill him before you even have the chance to kill me.”

“You’re not our fuckin’ family, Terry!” Jamie screams out. “You’re not fucking ruining this for him.” The Milkovich siblings could careless who Mickey decides to be with, but their homophobic, piece of shit father does.

While the two boys are threatening Terry, Mandy sneaks around them to grab the AK-47. Without much thought, she cocks it and presses it to her father’s neck. “If you come near us, Mickey, Ian, or any of the Gallaghers tonight, this bullet’s goin’ through your neck. You understand me?”

“Fuckin’ ungrateful, piece of shit, good for nothing children,” Terry spits and walks out of the house without a weapon.

The three Milkovich siblings give each other worried glances. “Better stack up. No way I’m letting that asshole step into this wedding,” Iggy says. “No one speaks a word of this to Mickey.”

* * *

“Do you, Ian Clayton Gallagher, take Mikhailo Aleksander Milkovich to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” Kev asks. They decided it’d be better to pay him to marry them in the Alibi than some priest they don’t know in a church that neither of them belong to.

“I do,” Ian answers beamfully.

“And do you, Mikhailo Aleksander Milkovich, take Ian Clayton Gallagher to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to hold, in sickness and in–”

The words get cut off by the doors being slammed open. Terry Milkovich is standing there, beer in his right hand, gun in his left hand. The second the Milkovich kids see him, they pull their guns out on him.

“Kev, finish it quick!” Mandy yells before cocking her gun at his father who starts to proceed toward the two boys.

“In sickness and in health, until death do you part?” Kev speaks quickly and nervously.

“I do, I fucking do,” Mickey says with love and worry in his voice.

As Terry nears where Ian and Mickey are standing, Iggy launches himself onto Terry, punching and holding him down. Mandy keeps her gun aimed while Jamie joins in on the beatdown.

“You may kiss your groom!” Mickey pulls himself into Ian. Their lips crash together. As the kiss deepens, their hands run through each other’s hair. They have no awareness of the yelling and fighting around them at this moment.

When they separate, Mickey places one last kiss on his husbands lips before joining his siblings. As if they knew what he was about to do, they all back up, leaving Terry to scram to his feet. Because of his drunkenness, he doesn’t have enough time to react to the sight of Mickey. Mickey punches him hard in the face and smiles as he watches his dad fall to the floor. “I’m fuckin’ married, bitch,” he leans to say in his father’s ear. “To a fucking guy.”

The police come rushing in then. They take Terry without any hesitation because they know he was the initiator of this brawl. Tony makes sure that his coworkers don’t ask for a statement from the attendees of the wedding, he instead pushes all the policemen out and congratulates the newlyweds.

When Terry and the cops are all out of the Alibi, V screams. “You fuckin’ did it! You got married!” She jumps. “Let’s party!”

The Gallagher clan and the Milkovich clan begin their drinking for the night, but Ian and Mickey are left staring at each other. Ian grabs onto his husbands shirt and pulls him in for a kiss. They lean their foreheads together and smile into each other’s mouth. “We did it, baby,” Mickey smiles widely.

“I wanna make a speech!” Frank shouts in a drunken voice. Everyone moaned but no one stopped him because they didn’t think much harm could come from it.

Frank makes his way to the front of the Alibi. “When Ian was about fifteen, I caught him and good ol’ Mick fucking in the back of the Kash n Grab. At that time, you all thought Ian was a closeted gay army boy and Mickey was a straight Southside piece of trash. Just about every single one of didn’t know about them, but I know that none of you would’ve believed that they would end up here if you did know back then, but I did. I saw it in Mickey’s eyes– the protectiveness and worry, I mean. I mean, for fuck’s sake, Mickey tried to kill me after that! He thought I’d run my mouth to Terry so he almost killed me so Terry wouldn’t kill Ian! He’s a protective and possessive son of a bitch, but shit, that’s love right there. That’s some real fucking love.” He stumbled back to his seat at the bar.

Mandy raises her hand to stop anyone from taking a chance to speak before she can. In her six in stilettoes, she runs to the front of the room and places herself where the Gallagher father was standing before. “Hey!” Mandy exclaims “Shut the fuck up and let me talk!” Everyone quiets, but Ian and Mickey just grin. “I most definitely did not find out about the hardcore relationship between my brother and my bestfriend that way I would have liked, but I was one of the first people who were told. On the day of Mickey’s first wedding– which was forced by our piece of shit father– Ian got completely wasted. Not even lying I’ve never seen him so drunk. Anyway, I was in the middle of trying to make Lip jealous when Ian stumbled over to his brother and starting sayin’ some shit about watching the guy you love get married to a commie skank. I will fucking tell you I didn’t believe that he said love until I saw Mickey come home that night. He was a fucking wreck, but I thought it would pass, y’know, just some drama that’d mean nothing a month from that time– well I was fucking wrong. When Ian left I thought Mickey was dying, I’ve never seen him so distant and out of the fucking world. It was a few months but then they found each other again. They saved each other They found their way back through the shit that was dumped on them. I wish I could find someone to love me through anything the way you two do, but it’s not fucking normal what you have.” She raises her glass. “So, you better fuckin’ appreciate it.”

“Me next!” Lip made his way to the speech making area. “Man, I remember when Ian told me he and Mickey Milkovich were hooking up. I thought it was fucked up. Warned him everyday how bad of an idea it was because I thought the biggest thug on the Southside was incapable of feeling anything other than hate. I told Ian Mickey was using him for sex and that he couldn’t give a shit about him even if he tried. Turns out I was wrong because I’ve never seen love like this, not even from Kev and V– sorry, guys,” he points at them. “I’ve watched this relationship nearly blow up in flames one too many times, but no matter what I know they’ll survive the fire.” Lip goes to hug his brother as the rest of the group claps and drinks.

“My fucking turn!” Iggy shocked everyone by walking to the front of the bar. “One time I walked in on my brother getting a hummer from that redhead over there. What shocked me most about that was that I didn’t fuckin’ care. I didn’t fuckin’ care that my brother was with a dude. Us Milkovich’s aren’t like Terry, we love and support you guys because it’s fucking real. Real fucks with real,” he says and everyone drunkenly claps.

“I love Mickey because he helps Ian,” Liam runs to the front to say and then runs back to Fiona’s side. The crowd of people laugh at the younger child’s confession.

“Boys! You have to make a speech!” Fiona exclaims and looks at the newlyweds. “Show us how much you love each other!”

“Fuck off,” Mickey says to her.

Ian shakes his head. “We’re doing it, Mick, I want to. I’ll go first,” he grins. “I’ve been in love with Mickey Milkovich for eight fucking years, which is a long fucking time. I don’t know where or what I’d be without you– probably more insane than I already am. We been through so much shit since then but no matter what we come out stronger than ever. After all the fucking shit, we’re here,” he turns to Mickey. “It’s you and me, Mick. It’s always been you and me.”

Mickey laughs and begins to look around the room before he speaks. He immediately tenses up but then feels Ian’s hands on his knees. The younger man placed himself in the chair in front of him and grabbed his face. “Talk to me, babe, just me.”

“Fuck, I fell in love with you so quick,” he huffs out a breath. “I tried to fight it. Literally did everything I could to make you hate me, but your stubborn ass made me fall harder and harder everyday. You made me who I am today, Ian. I’d do anything for you, from day one. It’ll always be that way because like you said,” he grins, “it’s me and you.”

No one screams just yet. The family members and friends all shared similar looks of amazement. “We’re a Southside miracle,” Ian jokes.

 "elena had a positive impact on damon. she slept with both of them and now they’re both chill. she banged both of them and now they’re better people for it.“ -ian somerhalder

hi :) i’ve :) never :) been :) so:) disgusted :) in :) my :) life :) 

First

Title: First
Fandom: Shameless, Mickey/Ian
Rating: M (just in case)
Summary: Ian and Mickey talk a bit about how they feel for one another, and Mickey makes a confession Ian wasn’t expecting.
Note:I imagine this as canon divergent in a universe in which Mickey never ended up in jail and the two of them managed to work things out, but it’s not really specific, and could probably make sense anywhere in late s4/s5, I guess. This is straight up fluff.


“You know you were my first, right?” Mickey questions quietly, his fingers tracing patterns on Ian’s skin.

They’re lying in bed, curled around one another, Ian’s head pillowed on Mickey’s chest as they breath through the aftermath of their lovemaking. It feels good, Mickey thinks, to be so close to Ian, to be able to hold and touch to his heart’s content. It feels right. Always feels right with Ian.

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the logic of this events era really unlogical and immature:

- nina and nikki reed friends and the proove was all the thousand pictures together in diferent events 

- nina and nikki double date with their boyfriends

- nina and ian broke up after 3 years of relationship 

- nikki divorce is on january and in april she and ian get married

- nikki and ian shove their happy life in all events all social media all paparazzi all conventions of TVD and even on the SET of TVD 

- if i was nina of course i leaved tvd IMAGINE the love of your life and your close friend FOR YEARS backstabing you and even appear on the work place ( set of tvd)

- ian was nice to fans ian was quiet with the media WITH NINA 

- with nikki they are both ATTEnTION FAME WHORE´S 

- nikki goes to conventions of tvd to the set when shes part of the fucking twilight series LOL dafuqqq

- HOW PEOPLE DONT SEE THIS WRONGG ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES OF BOTH NIKKI AND IAN TOWARDS NINA ? 

HOW PEOPLE SUPPORT THIS MARRIAGE AND THIS LOVE STORY BASED ON LIES AND POSSIBLE CHEATING ?

 ITS JUST SHOWS BAD CHARACTER BAD PERSONALITIES and DISRESPECTFULL BEHAVIOUR they dont respect nina

 IM GLAD NINA IS FREE OF BOTH OF THEM THEY ARE FAKE  AND SHALLOW TO HER ALL THIS YEARS SHE DONT NEED THEY LOVE OR FRIENDSHIP

MY BETS - Ian is going to regret his decision and nikki will leave him when TVD ends lets hope he did fiil a pre-nup or nikki will steal his foundation and he will be poor and old and nina famous beatifull with tones of money and men better them him

Rude Interruption - iDubbbz Imagine

Every time you look at your daughter, she still takes your breath away. She’s three now and growing up so fast, constantly learning things and coming up with the funniest ideas. Ella is her name, and she looks so much like you that it’s almost a little frightening. But she’s got Ian’s eyes and his hair color, a fact that he doesn’t let anybody forget. You both love Ella more than anything in the world, but she’s definitely a Daddy’s girl. Ian spoils her rotten, and the two of them are thick as thieves.

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anonymous asked:

Preference for reaction to roadhead?

not really a preference sorry, lmao

Max:
He’d keep accidentally taking his hands off the steering wheel and when he didn’t his hands would grip real hard on the wheel to the point he thinks he’s actually going to break the thing.

Ian:
Ian would be quite quiet but occasionally take one hand off the wheel only so he could push your head down slightly if he was becoming impatient and real irritated.

Joji:
George would continuously moan things under his breath to you and then accidentally make all the wrong turns because all he’s focused on is you and the way you’re making him feel.

Chad:
It would take everything in Chad to not just stop the car completely and fuck you up right then and there, but like the others he’d obviously not pay much attention to the road at all.

HWTR to them getting turned on by you, their best friend

Request.

***

Joji

He doesn’t want to believe that he’s easily turned on; at least he’s not when he’s sober. Not many things can do that to him. When he has a few bottles of beer in his system, he’s prone to feel a little naughty. And his only weakness seems to be you; and it slightly unsettles him. If you knew you had this absolute power over him, he won’t hear the end of it. You’d probably tease him endlessly. And, honestly, a secret part of him doesn’t dislike this idea. He’d die to get teased by you. Buuuuut he’s keeping that for when things start to get more serious. So whenever he sees you do something that he considers sexy, he doesn’t exactly hide it. He’s using a lot of subtlety. The action that seems to turn him on the most is when you dance—you have an exotic style that seems to attract him no matter what. In fact, your movements, lascivious or not, are the thing that sets him off most of the time. And your voice. He has no idea how you do it, but it works every time. Maybe because he has a keen ear and likes all things musical. Joji doesn’t necessarily hide it, like I said, and would probably give you obscure hints towards his ‘predicament’. “You know you make me so excited” or something like that, which you only take as jokes (cause he uses a tone that suggests he was jesting). He knows he could go further and blatantly tell you what he wanted to do with you in bed, but he’s unsure of how you feel towards him so he refrains from doing so. In the end, he’d sigh and go himself somewhere private to relieve himself, thinking of you, of course. And hoping that you’ll ‘accidentally’ interrupt his session. At least then you’ll know what he’s thinking about. 

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anonymous asked:

could you make some jojian smut headcannons please? ^-^

okay here we go

- jojis 100% a bottom i mean look at the guy. probably worlds greatest power bottom.

- ian has a GIGANTIC AMERICAN C O C K and joji has a big cock for a jap, double big dicks, hell yeah

- ian carter: worlds greatest prostate finder. he’d be able to milk joji like a got dam cow

- joji would give ian the best blowjobs in the whole world, he’d probably brag about how good he is at sucking dick

- joji is loud and ian is quiet but ian fuckin LOVES how loud joji is. joji always tries to make ian make more noise

- ian is kink master supreme. hes really open about it too, if he likes something hes gonna ask joji if they can try it. jojis pretty much willing to try anything at least once.

- joji is too shy to bring it up but he absolutely loves bondage, he completely loses it every time ian restrains him even if its just holding his arms in place (ian has noticed but pretends hes oblivious)

- joji really fuckin likes being fingered, and ian loves watching him squirm around when he does it just right

i have many strong feelings about jojian

anonymous asked:

Reaction to you telling them to be quiet

Ian: yaou doant noat tell me whote to do, yew moartal… me, edupes… try againe, leetle gurl *does the weird SCREEEEE/HISSSS thing he does. is not silenced. you cannot silence a D E M O N*

Joji: He immediately shushes, his eyes piercing you with curiosity. He tries to mouth, “what?” But he is not met with an answer. He assumes you sensed danger, but he did not sense any - this part of the Omniverse was empty. He watches you closely, but upon sensing nothing to be worried about, he whispers, “what was it?” You spin around and glare at him, “nothing, you’re just annoying as hell.”
He gasps, taking several steps back. He does not become angered, however - he lowers his gaze, knowing he must be at fault. He nods solemnly, and warps himself into the Shadow Realm once again. This place has begun to feel like a second home to him, if he ever had a home to begin with. His allies, however, are absent this time. He searches for many chromosomes, but he finds nothing, just a dark, cold world. He sighs deeply, looking down at his palms. Such power they held, and yet he was still vulnerable to you. He clenches his fists. No, he mutters to himself. He will fix this. He projects himself into Earth’s atmosphere, observing the broken planet below. He floats down, personally delivering an entire rotisserie chicken to a family in Africa. They thank him. He then brings a cheese platter to a pack of stray cats. And then, a big fat wad of hundreds to a homeless child. His heart warms. Maybe he wasn’t a monster. Or, he thinks, is this just an act to make himself feel better? He shakes his head in eternal agony. He does not know.

Max: the fook mate?? Yew think yew can tell ME WOT THE FOOK TO DO? WELL THATS ONE BIG OL SHRIMP ON THA BARBIE IF MY AUSSI ARSE IS FINNA TAKE ORDAHS FROM SUM FAKE LOOKIN ARSE LITTLE A OI FOOK M8 YEW NEVER GOTTN A REAL AUSSIE HANDLIN HAVE YEH MATE??? OIIIII CRIKEYYY STEVE IRWIN LEVEL SHITE COMIN TO YER

Whit had just got home and everything was eerily quiet. “Ian?” He checked the whole room but didn’t see him. His phone rang and it was a facetime with Ian. “Ian baby where are… Ian?” The image was of his baby tied up and terrified. “Fuck Ian.” A man came on the screen and Whit recognized him. “Alfie where the fuck is he, I’ll kill you.” @ianthaxton

Steven Universe Asagao AU

Ayyy it’s Kaylee back at it again with the random AU’s, this time a bunch of the Limes and I discussed this. Thouroughly.

-Steven: Hana. Mother dies because of them, just wants to help people, pink vibes, mysterious powers and everyone seems to be drawn to them.

-Garnet: Paul. Responsible but has a caring and fun side, tall, basically mom.

-Ruby and Sapphire: Nick and Josh. Nick is Sapphire, Josh is Ruby. Do I even need to elaborate?

-Pearl: Jimmy. Tall. Sassy. Caring. Gay. Will certainly fight you.

-Amethyst: Jon. Goofball. Lot of people see them as a sibling. Cares, but doesn’t really show it, and instead hides any hurt they have with jokes.

-Lapis: Ian. Cynical, quiet, but really cares about one thing- Hana/Steven. Really not sports motivated. Low-key emo vibes.

-Jasper: Caddy. Aggressive, likes power over people, especially Lapis/Ian. Most certainly misunderstood.

-Sour Cream: Luke. Dear lord just let him be a DJ.

-Peridot: Shane. FREAKS OUT ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS AND IS FULL OF RAGE. Comes out of their shell because of Steven/Hana. Really wants to do good, really wants to change.