Actually, I don’t know if there are any people left here that remember that’s what I used to do. It’s been such a blast from the past watching a few of them and it’s actually quite a momentous occasion, taking them down. Momentous and emotional. Hence the blogging.
So I’ve known for a long time now that I was going to have to take down my YouTube videos eventually in preparation for my professional life. And, for a less long but still quite lengthy time, I’ve know that that time would be in these holidays between 2nd and 3rd year. The way this course works is that 3rd year is supposed to be a sort of one-foot-in-the-door of the industry where we’re encouraged (and forced) to start being professionals. So naturally having a huge body of work on the internet of me pre-training (and looking rather too young) is not ideal.
And truthfully after watching a few videos, even the ones I really like, I identify so many technical things I’m doing wrong and so many sounds I don’t like. I considered leaving a couple up but I knew I was just being sentimental and, practically, it’s really not possible to move forward with this old material up. It’s quite hilarious when I remember how good I used to think I was at singing.
A vain, prideful part of me is sad to hide them because some of these videos have tens of thousands of views (in one case over 150 000). But that’s neither here nor there.
BUT… That’s right, there is a “but”. My plan at this point is to reawaken my channel - free from any of my old branding and ideas - and turn it into a professional tool where I can share performances that will show me as a well-trained, employable performer. Obviously this will mean a lot of musical theatre, but I’m sure all sorts of things could appear. At this point I’m thinking at the least this includes a recording of any of my key performances next year (even if that’s not live footage from a show but a “rehearsal” recording).
So yes! This was as much for me to mark this occasion as it was anything else. But now you know!
Someone wrote “LOSER” on one of my YouTube videos - actually, ‘Ain’t No Way’ which Amber Riley herself seemed to like well enough (take that bitch). But, I was going to write “You wanna be a loser like me” in reply but the comment was already deleted… Who knows what went on there. I have my theories of course and I think it went something like this:
*Watching awkward opening spiel* “Who is this weirdo?”
“I’m a tosser so I think I’ll call him a loser! Yeah, that will be constructive in some way!”
*Posts comment but the video is still playing and I start to sing* “…um, what?”
“…I…I…was not expecting him…to…do things…good…”
*Stare at the screen with wet, moved eyes as I finish my solo* “…”
I think one of the best parts of getting that comment is that I wasn’t even bothered by it. If YouTube taught me anything, it taught me confidence in my abilities and resilience to negativity - because I received so much doubt and negativity from it’s users and I learnt to deal with it.
So I'm 92% sure I'm going to pin my season return Glee cover.
And possibly would consider doing it for each video.
STOP DON’T YELL AT ME! I can’t deny that it makes a lot of sense to do this, I’m sorry. Yes, it does, look:
It’s now season 4 of Glee. I’ve been doing covers for like 2 years.
I almost wasn’t going to continue doing Glee covers.
However I realised that it was important to me and I have branded myself as someone who covers Glee songs. It would be foolish of me to give it up.
Especially when I have little else going on.
Which brings me to the fact that I have been making my own opportunities for years. This being probably the best success.
I work extremely hard on these videos - like hours and hours over several days.
This is the most important thing I do with my time.
You don’t understand what I put into every single one of my videos. I often downplay it because I confuse difficulty with effort. These videos are sometimes challenging but I can do them on my own so I assume it’s not THAT difficult and therefore it’s not THAT much effort. But no, I’ve realised I put insane amounts of dedication and work into these videos.
So given the energy I put into them, the personal value they have, and the fact that I make my own path, it stands to reason that something needs to change.
I can’t just continue at this level. I need to push.
Promoting my posts with a pin does two things:
On a personal level I am now spending money to make these videos. Historically, putting money into this project has always been a positive thing for me and it makes it more real. This week I also bought (and edited) the backing track.
It makes other people take it more seriously. Pinning - though only a few dollars - gives the illusion of professionalism. I’m possibly breaking that illusion now. But if I need to take this to a new level then this is seems really obvious.
I really really value each and every one of my followers on here and I don’t want to piss you off but to be perfectly honest with you sometimes I feel like I need to get a megaphone and travel to each of your houses, screaming at you to click on my video. What’s the point of spending all this time building an audience of followers who aren’t going to watch? I’m not trying to make you feel guilty (well, maybe a little) but I feel like I’m not reaching the majority of you.
As you know I don’t want to cover any of the songs from Promasaurus and my options are as follows: cover a song from an earlier episode or don’t cover anything.
Here is my song short list:
Not The Boy Next Door
I Have Nothing
Or I vaguely want to do Jar Of Hearts cause it’s been requested more than once and it was at the last prom.
However, if I’m honest making these videos takes up a lot of time because Mondays are Hayden and Cara and prep for a cover, Tuesdays are pretty much entirely spent on making a video, Wednesday I usually wake up extremely late after staying up into the morning making the video and then the night is taken up by Glee. That’s the first half of my week gone. I am dragging out my studies longer than I would like to so the most sensible option for me is to take the week off and just really focus on getting as many assignments done as possible.