5 Great Tweets - @iamnotdiddy

And now for 5 Great Tweets from funny jackass and parent extraordinaire @iamnotdiddy:

According to my grandpa, in the early 1900’s, women did this thing with their mouth that men loved. It was called “shutting it the fuck up.”

I hate people that leave their dogs in cars. Especially when they just sit there barking at my kids the whole time I’m in the bar.

Typos are God’s way of saynig, “You shoudln’t be masturbating adn tweeting at the same time.”

Daddy, what’s a swinger’s club?“ "Son, that’s where daddy goes to watch mommy give other men blow jobs. Pass the syrup, please.”

I just watched Discovery’s “How It’s Made” and, honestly, I’m never eating another urinal cake again.

Follow @iamnotdiddy on Twitter here and on tumblr here.

More questions

iamnotdiddy did 5 Questions With @MeetingBoy a while back. There were a few questions that got left out:
What is your favorite word?I reject the premise of this question. Every word– no matter how cool– when put in the hands of repeating simpletons becomes jargon, and jargon is my sworn enemy, along with Al Qaeda and Cher. No word is robust enough to withstand its robust use in a robust workplace.

You have a list of sworn enemies? Who else is on it?
MeetingBoy’s sworn enemies:

  1. Al Qaeda
  2. Cher
  3. jargon
  4. 5:00 meetings
  5. printers that won’t collate

Do you ever fart in a meeting as a passive aggressive means to end the meeting?If only that worked! Wouldn’t it be great if that cleared the room? “I will say that this one time” I was summoned for a meeting in someone’s office. When I got there, he walked out saying he would be right back, shutting the door on his way out. I was confused. I was sure he left me with a fart. I secretly filed this away for the day when I have an office.