Obviously all a joke - if they were real astronauts, they wouldn’t be like this.
Xiumin: As the craft is zooming up and his head is plastered to the seat from the g-forces, he lets the others deal with the navigation panel so he can look outside, “Are we going to get to the international space station soon? We’re going to need to stretch our legs and have a potty break.”
Luhan: “I’m not going up there! I never signed up for this sh*t! I thought I was just going to be ground control!” He’d try to stomp away from the aircraft before security forces him inside the capsule, shouting.
Kris: His first time going out on a space walk he nearly starts crying looking at all the hundred billion stars in the Milky Way. “It’s beautiful, better than I ever expected. I couldn’t capture this if I drew a hundred pictures of it.”
Suho: After all the training, he’s dine preparing, but starts sobbing outside the hatch. “Seeing as there’s no gravity or air resistance in space, working out is going to be nearly impossible! And I was getting so close to building real abs!”
Lay: Even with the training behind him, he has hundreds of questions for the scientists. “So… our space suits have cooling systems inside, but why would space be hot? And how bright is it that we have reflective visors?”
Baekhyun: ”When we reach Mars, I’m going to be the first one to plan a flag on the surface and claim it for myself - from then on, it will be ‘Baekhyun-ia’! Screw planting it for Korea or China!” He claims the seat closest to the compartment hatch.
Chen: “When the rocket boosters fall away, the fuselage is going to blow up and we’re all going to die. What if we run out of air?” Already strapped into his seat, he starts praying , eyes closed and nails digging into the seat.
Chanyeol: After trying freeze-dried food, he scrunches his nose and starts packing junk food. “Astronaut ice cream isn’t as good as I thought it would be… I thin we’d be better off with oreos and doritos.”
D.O: “It’s no use getting worried. If we die, then we die, but at least we’ll get to see space. I’m warning you now, though. You annoy me, I’ll just kill you myself.” Everyone else gets a little edgy around him letting him do more space walks.
Tao: Strapped into his seat, he starts whining and pouting. “And what happens if we actually meet an alien, though…? How are we supposed to communicate with them? What if they don’t like us?“ He’d start chewing his lip.
Kai: “So, it’s not like Marvin the Martian? No ray guns and cute little green dogs? Dogs have gone up before. Why can’t we have one for company?” He’d skype with them almost every day to say hi and sorry that he couldn’t make them the first dogs on Mars.
Sehun: “Remind me how much of my life I’m throwing away to get to Mars with only you gross idiots in here with me?” He’d sullenly post pictures of Miranda Kerr all over his working area of the shuttle, glaring venomously as the trip progresses.
erwin and levi were on a a coffee date, but then eren was trying to lead the zshingang trio, thus mikasa knows erens gonna fuck it up so she’s fuckin ready and connie just wants to rub off some of her swag and there ia armin planting a plant or something I know exactly what the hell is going on