what she means:there is no way in hell i'm ever going to get over the UG studios performance of "addict with a pen". there is no way i'm not going to at least tear up every time i watch that performance. the first time i ever clicked on it i was thinking that i was just going to be watching a performance of one of my favorite songs by my favorite band in a small intimate setting. nothing could have prepared me for the way that tyler started off normally but by the breakdown he was literally breaking down over the keys. he can't play that song all the way through without the emotion choking him up and my heart breaks every time he ends up screwing up with the piano part and just slamming his fingers down on whatever keys they end up on. nothing could have prepared me for tyler trying not to cry in the second verse and his entire jaw tensing up and his head twitching as he looks up to the ceiling and sings "i know i haven't been the best". nothing could have prepared me for the way that josh's eyes are shining by the end and he literally looks like he's on the verge of tears. in order to take this performance out of my memory you'd have to go in and surgically remove it.
i’m so tired i dont have the energy to make a long detailed post about this right now but i am so fucking tired of autistic characters or autistic coded characters or even just characters who act autistic being labeled abusive or unhealthy in fandoms
i’m so sick of people seeing characters that are genuinely well-meaning but obsessive or stuck in their own line of thinking or have trouble understanding other people and immediately labeling them as “abusive bad people who you shouldnt like or ship because theyre problematic uwu"
i’m so fucking tired and angry and sick to death of all of you assholes who’ve internalized this awful mindset that autistic traits are inherently abusive or unhealthy and that characters who act autistic or who are coded as autistic or who tons of autistic people can relate to can’t be in healthy relationships and if you ship them “ur problematic and contributing to abuse culture!!” oftentimes while fucking IGNORING actual literal abusive characters who don’t display symptoms of a heavily stigmatized developmental disorder, and ignoring ALL OF THE AUTISTIC PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE WHO ARE ABUSED BECAUSE THEY ARE AUTISTIC
I’m sick of people acting like I can’t have a fucking healthy relationship because of being autistic and fuck you if you read autistic characters or characters who act autistic as abusive and/or incapable of a healthy relationship. fucking think about the traits you’re reading as abusive and unhealthy and ask yourself if they’re actually that at all, or if you’ve just internalized the shitload of ableism that we have to deal with on a daily basis that tells everyone that we’re terrible people who can’t be happy
(note: this post doesn’t apply to abuse survivors who had/have abusers who acted like certain characters and thus you dislike them, autistic or not. you’re fine)