Imagine! Meant to post last night, but got tired and fell asleep before editing.
You are staring at yourself in the mirror, trying to see what Shawn sees in you. You honestly have no idea what he sees.
He always says you’re beautiful, stunning, that you take his breath away. But you just can’t see it.
All you can see is your double chin, your puffy cheeks, wide hips, flat ass, thick thighs, flabby belly.
The longer you stare, the worse you look.
God this is what Shawn sees.
“Hey Babe.” He says walking to your room. “Ready for our run?” He asks.
You look over at him with a weak smile.
“Babe are you okay?” He asks walking over to you, resting the back of his hand to your forehead.
“What? I’m fine.” You push his hand away.
“You’re all sweaty, and flushed. are you feeling okay?”
“Yes Shawn I’m fine.” You giggle.
Lately you and Shawn have been going on a daily runs, but he doesn’t know that you go on two daily runs. You go for about two miles and then meet up with him, running another two with him, and sometimes you run another one.
Just to burn those calories.
“But.” He starts.
“I’m fine.” You say walking past him, grabbing your water bottle.
He lets it go, but keeps a close watch on you.
He catches you again, later that day, staring at yourself in the mirror.
“Can’t stop looking at it either?” He says with a smirk. Your eyes go wide and you push his hands away as he tries to hug you from behind. He doesn’t quite catch your attitude until he goes to grab you again and this time you completely move away from him.
“Hey.” He says following you.
“What Shawn?” You snap. He takes a step back, barely, and stares at you.
“Whats wrong?” He asks, gaze softening.
“I just don’t want you to touch me okay.” You say frustrated.
“Okay,” He says putting his hands up in surrender.
“I have to go get ready for dinner.” You say going to your closet, resting your head in your hands.
“Should we match tonight?” He asks following you, watching as you rub your eyes with the heel of your hand. “Baby?” He asks softly. “Tell me whats wrong.”
“Just drop it.” You say looking up at him. He just stares at you. You take a breath and look at his side of the closet. “What are you gonna wear?”
“Oh um,” He looks over and shrugs. “I don’t know, what should I wear?” He says walking a bit closer to you, slowly.
“I don’t know Shawn.” You sigh.
“I know, we’ll pick a color. Then I’ll pick your dress and you can pick my outfit out. Cute right?” He says, honestly it sounded like a lot of fun so you nodded, smiling.
“Dark or light?”
“Ok, you pick mine, and I’ll pick yours.” He says smiling. Instead of looking at your side he simply walked out of the room.
“Shawn? Where are you going?” You ask, looking through his shirts.
“To pick yours out, I’ll be back.” He says, and you hear him grab his keys and then walk out.
“Oh god.” You mumble.
“Go get dressed Babe.” He said handing you a black bag.
“Here’s yours.” You say handing him a pile of clothes you’ve folded nicely.
“This is really exciting.” He says as you start to walk away.
You go to your room and close the door, sneaking a peak into the bag. You pull out the most amazing dark blue dress. It’s shiny and goes to about mid thigh. It’s cute and shows off some cleavage.
But under the dress was another bag. A pink and black bag.
“Oh my god.” You mumble as you pull the Victoria Secret bag out.
He got you a matching set of dark blue lace underwear and panties. They were pretty cute, and when you put them on, because well it was apart of his choosing, they made you feel so confident. And made you feel sexy as hell.
You slipped the dress on and smiled at yourself in the mirror.
When was the last time I smiled looking in the mirror.
“Shawn?” You call out.
“Straight, curled or up in a ponytail type of hair style.” Even though you knew the answer.
“Curled.” He yelled back.
You smiled and turned your curling iron on.
You opened the door and looked down, seeing a pair of heels that matched your dress.
You smiled to yourself and slipped into the heels.
You walked out to the front, heels clicking on the hard wood. Shawn stood up from his spot on the couch. Putting his phone in his back pocket.
“Jesus.” He breathed out as he looked at you.
“Yeah?” You asked.
“Twirl.” He says motioning for you to twirl with his right index finger.You did as told and twirled.
“Holy fuck.” He mumbled, tugging at his curls.
“I like that shirt.” You said pointing at him.
“Yeah?” He said twirling, making you giggle.
“Yeah, shows off those badass tats.” You say as he comes closer.
“You do know this is a business dinner right?”
“Why get tattoo’s if your just gonna cover them, that’s just teasing.” You say as he smiles at you.
“Um you didn’t give me a pair of boxers, so I went commando.” He says grinning.
“You didn’t.” You say, deadpanning.
“Wanna check?” He teases.
“Kind of, yeah?” You laugh. He gulps.
“What do you think of your outfit?” He changes the subject.
“I love it, baby you didn’t have to go out and buy me it.” You say walking into his embrace.
“I gotta spoil my girl.”
“Yeah but with a new dress, shoes, and a new set?” You say smirking.
“Well, the dress and shoes were for you. The set? That my dear is for me.”
“Thought so.” You giggle.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
This dinner is extremely boring for you. You have no idea what they are talking about because you zoned out about 20 minutes ago, and whenever Shawn looks at you you just smile at him.
“I have to go to the bathroom, Y/n? Join me?” One of the other girlfriends, Nicole offers. You smile and nod.
You get up and can feel Shawn’s gaze burning on you.
You both enter the bathroom and she goes straight for the sink.
“God I hate these dinners, their so boring.” She says washing her hands.
“Yeah, usually I just zone out. Making lists about what I need to do the next day in my head.” You confess.
“Smart.” She says smiling at you in the mirror.
Somehow the topic comes around to food, and she’s talking about what you ordered.
“Don’t you think it was a bit much?”
“Oh the price?” You ask, because you planned on covering for yourself.
“No, not the price, lord knows these boys can handle a meal of that price. I mean the amount. It’s a bit much, I mean look at you. You gotta stop eating so much.” She says eyeing your stomach.
You stopped in your tracks. Completely taking back by what she just said.
“Well come on dear, its the truth and we all know it.” She says. “Shawn ain’t gonna see you as a beautiful woman if you keep gaining.”
You were appalled. You had actually thought that you were losing some weight.
“Um.” You didn’t know how to respond.
“Don’t take offense honey, it’s life. Some are rounder than others.” She shrugged walking out of the bathroom.
And just like that, the good mood Shawn got you into was gone. With a 30 second conversation about your meal. All those thoughts that were in your head all morning and afternoon were now screaming at you.
You exit, not looking at yourself, and take your seat next to Shawn. Your meal had been delivered and you noticed Nicole look at you with a frown.
You were starving, but she was right. How could you eat like this and expect to lose weight.
So you discreetly picked at your food, not eating really anything. Shawn noticed, letting his hand rest on your thigh before you pushed it off.
“Hey.” He whispered in your ear, so no one else would hear.
“Not now.” You barely met his gaze.
“Are we back to this?” He said trying to get your attention.
“Don’t Shawn.” You sneered.
He huffed and ordered you a box even though you told him it was okay. But you secretly thanked him because that was an expensive meal that you didn’t eat.
“Care to explain what’s wrong yet?” He asked once the car doors were closed.
“Please Shawn, not right now.” You sighed.
“No, I thought I broke this. I thought I got you feeling better.” He said staring at you fiercely.
“You did.” You whispered.
“Y/n tell me what is wrong? You are killing me here, I know something is up and you wont tell me. I thought we didn’t keep things from each other.”
“We don’t” You defended turning to look at him.
“Then tell me whats wrong.” He whispered, he looked so distraught. It’s now you realized how worried and concerned he is.
Just tell him.
“I just,” You start. “I just am having some body image issues.”
“What?” He says in shock, not the answer he was expecting.
“I have been feeling bad about myself lately and it was really bad this morning. It was practically gone when I put this outfit on, but Nicole.” You stopped yourself.
“What did Nicole do?”
“She pretty much told me that you would no longer wanna be with me if I gained any more weight.”
“WHAT?” He said becoming angry. “That’s fucking ridiculous.”
“No it’s not Shawn, she’s right. I’m a fat piece of shit.” You say, shaking your head.
“HEY!” He shouted at you. Shocking you. “Don’t you EVER speak about MY girlfriend like that.” He warned you.
“Shawn.” You sighed.
“No, listen to me. That hurts my feelings. I love you and you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Your fucking curves kill me, I can barely keep my hands off of you. I’m not liking this ‘push Shawn’s hands away’ thing. You’re mine and I’m gonna hold you when I want to. You are beautiful, stunning, funny, a smart ass, smart, caring, compassionate, and most importantly mine.”
“Really?” You ask, tearful.
“Come here.” He say pulling you over the console, sitting you on his lap.
“Jesus, do you know how bad you’re killing me in this dress.” He says running his hands up and down your thighs.
“No.” You mumble.
“Let’s just say, I had no idea what we were talking about at dinner because all I could think about was getting you home.” He smirks. “That dress is beautiful, but I’d rather see what you look like without it on.”
You laugh and lightly smack his chest.
“No, you think you look fat. Ha, babe you are not fat. You aren’t even close to being fat. Like miles away from being fat.”
“But this afternoon you said ‘You staring at it to?’”
“Yeah, how beautiful you are. I know that I can’t stop staring at it.”
You smile and lean your head against his shoulder.
“No yeah, that makes sense.” You mumble.
“What did you think I meant?”
“Stop, you’re killing me here.” He says making you look at him.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.” He says tucking a curl behind your ear.
“Take me home.” You say crawling back to your seat.
“It’s about fucking time, I’ve been waiting all night to take you home.”
And just like that, everything Nicole had said vanished from your mind. All that mattered was what Shawn said.