Tumblr Fact or Fiction - Doctor Who - Judoon Platoon on the Moon
Claim: Russell T. Davis included the phrase “Judoon platoon upon the moon” deliberately to give David a hard time - as it is pronounced differently in David’s natural Scottish accent as opposed to the Doctor’s Estuary accent.
History: This claim didn’t originate on Tumblr - it’s been around since the episode aired and has managed to worm it’s way into many (fan-updated) wikis as though it is fact – but can anyone find an actual citation for this (Wikipedia couldn’t find one)? Is it actually fact?
Source of the myth: On March 28, 2007 David appeared on Chris Moyles’ radio show to promote series 3 of Doctor Who. They discussed Smith and Jones (featuring the quote in question). The hosts were also quite taken by David’s Scottish accent. Among the quotes on the show: CM: Do you ever get halfway through a scene and go, "Sorry I’m gonna have to stop, that’s too Scottish?” DT: Ehhh… no. I don’t think I do really. [later, after David tells them the name of the episode’s baddie] CM: I think Russell T. Davies purposefully writes alien names that sound Scottish… DT: Yeah, to try to catch me out? CM: Absolutely! DT: I think he does, yeah. And there’s a line where I have to say, “Judoon platoon upon the moon.” [everyone laughs] CM: Isn’t that the knife that you wear in your sock when you wear the kilt? DT: That’s a sgian-dubh. CM: Judoon platoon upon the moon? DT: Yeah CM: He’s definitely done that to wind you up! DT: [laughs] Yeah, he probably has. CM: [goes off on some imaginary scenario where RTD sits at home shouting to his wife(!!) to come up with Scottish-sounding names]
So, I believe that’s the source of the myth - and you would think that DT himself is a very good source, right? But David really only jokingly agrees with Moyles’ suggestion, saying that’s “probably” what RTD does, so I don’t think that can be taken as fact.
Discounting the myth: On the DVD commentary track for Series 4 episode The Poison Sky (which was recorded right before The Poison Sky aired in the UK), Susie Liggat (producer) asked RTD: SL: Now, a thing that I’ve always wondered, with you two chaps in the room, is: Do you, Russell, set David the odd really difficult thing to say to see whether… like Raxicalla-whatever that one is? RTD: No, to be honest. I know what you mean, it could look like that. SL: Sometimes I think, nobody… DT: The square root of Pi to 30 decimal places wasn’t easy, Russell… thank you. For episode 10. RTD: [laughs loudly] SL: It feels like there’s sort of a gamesmanship, I suppose, about it. Like, is he going to look this up in the Latin, ancient Greek… RTD: I don’t really! Honestly. I just sit there and think of the Doctor. Absolutely honestly. And that, unfortunately for you, that is what the Doctor is like as a man. This version of the Doctor loves words. I think he talks to himself a lot of the time - he’s listening to himself. He enjoys… He does puns that nobody even gets. DT: I love it, to be honest! […] RTD: I do remember this year thinking, in Pompeii, that “Species designation according to the universal ratification of the Shadow Proclamation” [big laugh] I remember putting that in and thinking, that’s a laugh! I think that’s the only time I’ve ever thought, “that’s a bit of a laugh”, actually. Let’s have a go at that one.
Conclusion: Unless someone knows of a quote where RTD admits that he came up with the Judoon name/phrase to give David a challenge, I think we can’t count this myth as fact. It started as a joke from Chris Moyles, and later Russell said that he doesn’t deliberately write lines in an effort to trip up David. This evidence isn’t entirely conclusive – RTD admittedly lied to protect plotlines and such, and people sometimes forget why they did certain things over time, but I don’t believe we have conclusive evidence that this myth is true. DT and RTD did the Smith and Jones DVD commentary together, and the line/reason for the name “Judoon” didn’t come up at that time. Unless someone can provide a quote where RTD admits it to be fact, I personally count this as an untrue myth.
Disclaimer: I make no claim of being the keeper of all Doctor Who knowledge, and I’m certainly not perfect, but I can share the sources that I’m aware of and provide a place to gather evidence as to the veracity (or lack thereof) of these claims. Please let me know if you are aware of real, verifiable quotes from RTD or another knowledgeable member of the cast/crew and I’ll add it to the list of evidence.
Paring: Davd x Billie (sorta lol this is set during filming s2 I guess. Was Billie married then? Whatevs this isn’t about that.)
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: Deals with Eating Disorders. Read at your own risk. But do read the notes, ok?
Summary: Don’t read The Daily Mail
A/N: I started this fic a long time ago, it was mostly theraputic. One of the many reasons I love Billie is because she’s overcome so much, including an eating disorder. I am not advocating, glamourizing or trying to make light of the situation. None of us can truly know or understand Billie’s mind and the pain she went through. What I wrote about her habits I’ve no clue if they are true or not, this is loosely based on facts. Remember that, please. And just like I’m sure Billie wouldn’t fully understand why I do the same thing. (I’ll be honest idc, eating disorders suck ok? Believe me I’ve been screwed up for ages. I’m okay, truly. This is part of how I deal)Look, this just a small little angsty piece I wanted to write, and I did! I mean no harm and I need you to know that. I wish nothing but the best for Billie Piper and David Tennant. They both deserve the world.
David furrowed his eyebrows at his phone as he read the article. He didn’t normally read articles about him or his friends but this particular one caught his eye.
It was an article about Billie, more specifically on what she had to say about her past with mild drug use and her battles with anorexia.
His heart clenched. Billie was anorexic? He knew about her past, he knew that she didn’t like to think about her music days since they weren’t good times for her. He never asked about the gritty details since he didn’t want to pry, but he didn’t expect to find out that she was anorexic.
She was better now, right? So why did it bother him so much?
He shook his head and went back to reading the script for this week’s Doctor Who episode. He sighed happily. He was living his dream. Playing the role he loved as a child. He couldn’t be happier, and Billie was one of the biggest parts of it. The thought of her unhappy and god forbid, her starving herself made his throat dry.
He sighed and pushed the thought out of his head. It was time to go to work.
After they shot 2 scenes it was time for lunch.
David saw Billie about to leave set when he jogged up next to her.
“Hey Bills!” He called.
She smiled sweetly, “Yeah?”
He was at a loss for words at how much her smile meant to him. He wanted to preserve it for as long as he could.
He stuttered, “Erm, you wanna go get lunch together?”
She giggled as his awkwardness but suddenly a look of worry crossed her face. David furrowed his brow but was relieved to hear her answer, “Yeah, sure.”
He resisted the urge to hold her hand as they walked to the nearest restaurant.
It was nothing fancy, but nothing too quick. He’d wanted a proper meal with her. He needed….God he didn’t know what he needed.
Actually he did. He needed to see her eat. He needed her to smile at him, laugh at his jokes, be the happy carefree and beautiful Billie he knows and lo—cares, very deeply about.
They were seated quickly, towards the back of the restaurant and David was grateful for the privacy. Immediately David noticed that Billie was avoiding looking at the menu.
“Bill…” he started
“ ‘S a gorgeous day outside. Shame we aren’t by the window.” she said as she placed her hand under her chin and looked to the side.
David gulped and cleared his throat, “Well erm, they probably sat us back here so people won’t oggle you.” He replied with a wink.
She rolled her eyes and smirked, “You mean so they won’t oggle at you. You’re the star here.”
David looked at her and placed his hand over hers, “No Bill. You are. You’re the star, you’ve always been.”
Billie worried her lip. She moved her hand, “Why’d you take me out to lunch? We’ve never done that.”
“I uhh. Oh well..I thought it’d be nice. Take a break from shooting and stuff…” He stuttered and looked down.
After Billie didn’t say anything he looked up to see tears in her eyes. His heart plummeted.
“Billie?” He whispered.
“I know what this is. You takin’ me out to eat. ‘S about that bloody article isn’t it?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Don’t play daft David. Please.”
He sighed in surrender, “Alright, alright. Yes. Yes it is about that article.”
Billie hung her head.
“Billie..why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?” Her head snapped up in sudden anger.
“About this!” He gestured wildly, “About you and your problem!”
Her mouth hung open, “Problem?” She mewed weakly. She shook her head and started to get up and leave the table but David grabbed her arm and gently coaxed her back down.
His eyes went wide as implored, “Please Billie, that’s not what I meant. Please don’t leave, sit down and talk to me.”
She nodded and spoke softly, “It’s not what you think. ‘M not like that anymore.”
David said nothing for a moment, “Then…will you eat something?”
Billie gave a curt nod and David pressed his lips together. A small victory in of itself.
“I’m sorry. I just…I’m not good with this stuff.” David said.
“I don’t expect you to be.”
“Well that’s a relief, seeing how I have a Mum and sister you’d think I’d be more effeminate.” He retorted, hoping to make her laugh.
She did and his eyes gleamed.
She sobered and licked her lip, “I dunno where to start with this.”
“The beginning is always good.” He smirked but it quickly faded when she said nothing. “Sorry, humour gone. Okay, Billie…Why did you starve yourself?”
She pondered for a moment. “The pressure… It was too much. I mean, I was barely 20 and I was expected to be this role model for young girls! Me! With my music and pop songs that I cringe at now—I had to be her! That perfect pop Barbie like star they all expected me to be.”
“Everyone. My agent, my publicist, hell I think even my mum! And the fans they…I loved them all so much, it was fun to perform for them but I didn’t want to be their role model. I just couldn’t.”
Billie took a sip of her water and still actively tried to avoid David’s eyes. Afraid of the pity she would find there. When he tilted her chin up to meet his gaze, she found none.
She stared him down and deadpanned, “Then reporters started commentin’ on my body. My weight. At some red carpet event, someone from some online paper called me fat.”
David looked down, as if ashamed himself when really he was just biting his tongue against the snarls he wanted to exclaim. He couldn’t understand why and how people could be so cruel. Nobody, and especially Billie deserved that, ever!
“It was never about the weight. I mean on the surface it was and I did enjoy seein’ the number on the scales go down but really it was about control. I had none in all other aspects of my life so why not control what I ate and when I did.”
David looked up and he wondered how he could ask what he was about to, his adam’s apple bobbed and he said softly, “How long would you go without food Bills?”
Billie’s shields went up again. A stoic expression dawned on her face and David cursed himself.
“A little while.” She said.
Not enough, he lowered his voice more, “What was a little while, Billie?”
Hearing her actual name did her in and she lost all her fight. Her shoulders slumped. “As long as I could. Sometimes it was 5 days and other times it was just 3….One time I made it to 15 before….”
“Before what?” He all but gasped.
“Before I passed out at the gym.”
“Bloody hell! Billie! Oh my God!” David cried and ran his hands through his hair violently. His whole face was turning red and for a moment Billie was frightened he was about to scream at her.
“Dave?” She whispered and placed a hand on his shoulder.
He looked up at her, the redness fading from his cheeks but forming in his eyes. “What can I do Billie? To make sure that you never ever do anything like that again? What can I do to make you better—how, how can I fix you?”
Billie smiled sadly, bless his sweet heart. She cupped his cheek and stroked it. “No need. I’m better now. I still have bad days but everyone–you in particular make it better.”
He took her hand in both of his and kissed it repeatedly. “Billie if you ever get the urge to cause yourself harm, I want you to call me instead. Please.”
She nodded, “Okay David.”
When their food arrived it seemed all earlier tensions had fled. The air was clear and both of them felt relief and happiness. Being with one another seemed to cure whatever sadness they carried. They chatted aimlessly, about their childhoods, schools, hopes and dreams and memories of filming.
“I still can’t believe I’m playing The Doctor.”
“You’re the perfect man for the job.” Billie smiled as she stole a chip from his plate and ate it. His eyes misted at the sight.
He managed to croak out, “Just as you are the perfect Rose.” And passed her 4 more chips.
End Notes: You can try and tell me David didn’t have a crush on Billie but we all know it’s a lie ;)
Ok serious time:
If you or anyone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please get help. There are many facilities and websites to help recovery. It’s a hard thing to beat, but it isn’t impossible.Take care of yourselves darlings.
I wish celebrities would tell their fans what kind of attention they feel comfortable with.
Can I ask for an autograph if I bump into you on the street? Do you mind photographs if I ask you politely? Are you open for a little chat if you have the time? Can I smile at you? Can I say hello? Would you rather not be approached at all?
It would be easier to be considerate and respect boundaries if one clearly knew where they are.