msdistress said: I saw that civilized werewolves being super competitive when it comes to other packs, and now I can only imagine an AU where (adult) Stiles and Scott are renting a house together, and Derek moves in the same area. And while the McCall pack and the entire Hale pack (Talia, Laura, etc.) are on civilized terms, Scott and Derek just can’t help themselves. And maybe a part of the showing off is actually a way to impress (court) Stiles, as in “My lawn ornaments are much nicer than his!”
So this is kind of that, but kind of not? This is pretty silly :) Happy Halloween!
“You’re not dead,”
Stiles says as Scott bangs open the door and shucks off his shoes in the next
movement. They hit the wall and then bounce into an ungainly pile in the middle
of the hallway that Liam will no doubt trip over when he gets home.
“Nope,” Scott says.
He looks confused by that part.
“So… That’s good?”
Stiles has pumpkin guts all over his hands, but offers Scott a fist bump
Scott follows Stiles
back into the kitchen and then plops down across from Stiles’s half-finished
jack-o-lanterns at the counter. He’s a couple weeks early, but Halloween has to
be taken seriously. These are practice pumpkins.
Scott says, “It was
weird. I think they’re all models. They force-fed me pie.”
Stiles arches a
“I mean, the pie was
great,” Scott says, face screwed up. “I think they were happy I ate the whole
Werewolf metabolism, Stiles thinks sourly. He’s getting to
that age where he has to watch his beer and pizza intake. It sucks. He says,
“I’ll make them brownies,” and then apparently it becomes a thing.
Stiles doesn’t know
if the Hale pack are actually all models, but they’re definitely taking the
supernaturally hot thing to a whole other level.
Scott’s betas are
reasonably attractive, sure, but Liam’s the size of a cave troll and Mason’s on
this whole hippie-chic kick that makes him look like a train hobo.
Stiles holds out the
plate of brownies and tries not to stare at Erica’s boobs. Boyd has the bulging
chest of a roman gladiator and Stiles could cut his hands on Isaac’s cheekbones,
Stiles says, “Nice to
meet you guys,” and Erica’s lip curls up and her hands hover around the
plastic-wrapped plate like it’s made of poison and-or possibly oatmeal. He
waggles the plate back and forth. “Promise they’re wolfsbane free.”
And then Jackson
fucking Whittmore comes swanning down the staircase and Stiles says, “You’ve
got to be shitting me. Jackson?”
says with a scowl.
“Lydia told us you
got eaten by a giant lizard.”
harder. “Fuck off.”
Stiles would like to
say that the addition of Jackson makes the pack less appealing, but despite
having the personality of a canned ham, Jackson still looks like he was carved
out of marble. Balls.
And then someone
says, “Do I smell chocolate?” from behind Stiles and he definitely does not
jump three feet into the air, but it’s a close call.
He flinches and spins
around and says, “Fuck my life.”
The hottest mountain
man Stiles has ever seen is frowning at him and Stiles wants to bury his entire
body in his beard. He wants to weasel his way under that soft-looking Henley
and lick his collarbones. Stiles is ninety-nine percent sure this is Alpha Derek
Hale, even though Scott had failed to prepare him for the way Derek’s eyes are
eating Stiles’s soul.
holds out the plate of brownies.
Derek takes them with
a resigned silence. No one else is saying anything either, and the back of
Stiles’s neck is starting to prickle with unease. Are they going to eat him
now? They’d moved into town so Liam and Mason could go to the local college, expecting
some kind of resistance, territorial posturing, possible brawl for dominance, but
Scott had been tirelessly optimistic—even more so since the pie eating thing.
Stiles slinks around
Derek, hands up. He says, “I’ll just, uh… leave now,” and backs down the
sidewalk so he can see any kind of attack coming. He’s got a taser in his back
pocket and he’s not afraid to use it.
The Hale pack all watch
him with narrow, calculating eyes and Jackson gives him the finger.
Stiles thinks that if
this is the way they react to brownies, he’s going to bake them a