I feel like randomly divulging a bit of my past and how I was before I was confident because I saw a post on my dash that made me want to share my story I guess…
At my senior graduation I was trying my hardest to cover up my damn arms and shoulders (I have prominent stretchmarks on my arms and upper back) so I wore this thick ass white jacket over my graduation dress and also covered my legs in thick white stockings. I graduated in the fucking summer, it was hot and I was sweating horribly. My dress was banging but I didn’t feel confident I felt ugly, fat and frumpy.
I always covered myself especially during the summer. I would wear a hoodie, black cardigan, jeans and so on. I didn’t care. I felt like I had to hide myself and be ashamed of my body because I was bigger.
I’d look on at other girls with envy and slut shame them for showing off their bodies because I wished that I had the courage to do what they did. I always cared what other people thought of me and my own family would contribute to my self-loathing I felt about my weight. My brother always threw a fat joke my mom and my mom while she didnt say anything she did laugh. And it hurt alot.
I felt like I was alright looking but I wasn’t enough. As a fat black woman, I felt unnattractive for both my weight AND my race. I straightened my hair, dyed it and just damaged it horribly. And I’d wear this horrid bathing suit in the summer trying to swim with a cover up and trying to hide my body. I just hated it.
I hated myself. And I hated how I looked. I thought the most worthy thing about myself was my “kinda cute face” and boobs.
And I’m still kinda unpacking but I KNOW I look good now. And I KNOW I am the fucking shit. There will be no cardigans or heavy ass jackets to cover my arms. My belly, my cellulite ridden legs shall and will be shown and my stretch marks will be in full bloom.
I’m confident in who I am and how I look. I’m fucking beautiful and shame on anons and fatphobic assholes and all the other douchebags who want to tear a people down for being happy with the way they look or try to tear down people who are just STARTING to become happy with themselves.
I’m getting slightly emotional now thinking about it. I was so unhappy with myself and I cared how others saw me that I tried to hid myself. And I dont want anyone else doing that regardless of their size. I dont want ANYONE to feel like they’re ugly and hide themselves like I did because of fucking society and some asshole makes you feel like you arent beautiful. I’m beautiful and so are you.
Because I don’t want to go back to being the girl I was in the photos above. I think the way I dress and carry myself now is a good road for me. I wanna continue blossoming and growing. I never thought that I could go from what’s above to this:
what kind of shoes do gallifreyans wear? this isn’t a joke it’s an actual question. I figure most who aren’t shobogans or ceruleans have no need for actual heavy shoes, and barefoot would be sensory issues, so I honestly think they’d probably wear thin slippers
I Once Loved A Woman Who Loves Menswear (Umit Benan S/S 2013)
god, i love the title of this collection so much, and these are my four favorite looks. many thanks to purgatorio (one of my two go-to’s for that certain monochrome/minimalist/menswear vibe i like), who tipped me off about this.