i am clinging. three months of begging, for you to move out of my mind. i now brush the cobwebs and sleep alone in vacated residency.

i struggle to place your laugh. eyes squinted with your hand in your sunshine hair? or possibly one that bubbled through your chest and waltzed with my eardrums.

i spent 93 days, brushing your lips from my collarbones and earlobes; the memory of the roughness of its cracked skin is nothing but a desperate grasp to not lose you forever. i can no longer determine if these flashes of color and pockets of sound were ever real. we burned the pictures as you torched my cerebrum, and left with all my memories.

i cut through your marrow to find your body spineless. 

i walk amongst pinecones and step to the rhythm of past conversations held between us, hands held, us molded as one. this is only muscle memory, i can not recall our words yet i step around the eggshells of your promises. 

 2,232 hours devoted to scraping your taste from my mouth and lungs 

oh god i can’t breathe.

—  essays you will never read 7.21.15. 

This week so far has been bringing cake to my increasingly pregnant best friend since forever, a picture of my lunch which was not a picture of a very Stylish pop star nearby, tomato plate riding strong, the heat affecting all of us differently, then the marriage of a few favorite things with food52, emilyinternet, and Bang Bang Pie after swimming with Maija. Almost anything could happen tomorrow and this week would still be tip top.


Sooooo Warped Tour yesterday! 

It started off with a frantic search for the Youtuber tent (which we eventually found) and we hung around up there. I met Set It Off while my friend held our place in line to meet the YouTubers (Set It Off is a bunch of sweet guys. Dan was literally the nicest person ever. He flustered me. He actually flustered me. Also Cody and I yelled at each other because he couldn’t say anything nicer than what Dan said so he figured he’d be aggressive instead. Nice move stressball haha) We saw Ariel Bloomer from Icon for Hire walk by but we realized this too late. Then we met the YouTubers! I was most excited for bryanstars since I’ve been watching his videos for forever. (I don’t know where my picture with Damon is :c )

We then went and saw blessthefall and stayed for Asking’s set (I was in the second row! And I grabbed Dennis’ hand for like a second!) I then lost my friend and was fourth in line to meet Asking and met up with my friend again before the signing. During this time, the disgustingly hot 97 degree F weather cooled and turned into a lot of rain. Awesome. Not only that, but because so many sweaty crowdsurfers hit my face, my sunscreen came off so you can see the result xD

We met Asking but the paper things we wanted them to sign got wet. Dennis tried to dry it off on the table, but it didn’t work. Ben was super nice! We had a nice four to five sentence conversation regarding how cold and wet it was. James said hi. Sam was an absolute sweetheart omg. Cam didn’t say anything like Dennis, but that’s okay!

After that, we headed down to the KBB Records tent to meet Ben (pay a dollar to meet Ben Bruce? Best dollar ever spent tbh). He was so nice again and tall? Dude you’re a whole foot taller than I am.

Then we went to go see the Silvertooth thing and then we went looking for people and accidentally ended up listening to Riff Raff and As It Is. We listened to Icon for Hire and then we left because we were cold and tired and didn’t want to see anymore bands.

All in all, Warped was a huge success this year! I just wish someone would have told me how gross my hair looked before I met Ben haha.

phenominablesnowman replied to your post “phenominablesnowman replied to your post “directorshellhead, a…”

I had a stylist in Chicago that I ABSOLUTELY LOVED, I would have gone to her forever. There are a lot of things I miss about that city but she is #1, my hair has never been the same. No one else seems to understand the way it falls.

I know! I’ve been to 3 different stylists other than my person in TX since I’ve moved, and it’s been really frustrating. I have pictures from every angle from the salon from multiple cuts, because I knew in advance the move was coming, and I try to be pragmatic that no one is starting from her years of knowing me or my hair, but … I just. Really miss her. 

Baylee | Blog 2

Since I’m going to be writing blogs, I should let you all know a little about me. Seems fair. 

First off, my name is Baylee and I’m from Texas (I use the Texas tag on a lot of my selfies/pictures I post on here). To be honest, I don’t have as much Texas pride as I should because mainly, I don’t want to live here forever. I much rather prefer somewhere MORE well known; such as New York, California, Chicago, or Florida. I love Texas mainly because all I’ve ever known is here/lives here. But you can bet your buttons that one day I’m moving out of this state. 

I have curly hair. Now you might wonder why I want to include this in an ‘About Me’ thing… Well it’s because my curly hair has played an important role (not always a GOOD important role) in my life. When I was little, mainly middle school and most of high school, I hated my curly hair. I didn’t know how to manage it and 99.9% of the time, I looked like bozo the clown. In fact, my hair looked so bad sometimes that I gain a nickname from my cousins: Shirley Shrek (I also had crooked teeth back then too). So most my days I spend straightening my hair. Lately, I’ve been trying to embrace the curly hair though (I’ll make another post explaining my hair journey this far).

I am planning to major in Criminal Justice in college. I really like crime scene investigation and  figuring out what exactly happened. Basically, I like mysteries. This wasn’t my initial major. I first wanted to major in Fashion Merchandising or Business Marketing because I wanted to be model/ work for a fashion company. However, I met someone on cruise over New Years that made me really like CRJC. So far, that’s what I’m aiming for. 

I am basically obsessed with social media. I have a unrealistic dream that one day I’ll be famous off one of these sites. However, I don’t want to become famous like Acacia Brinley or like the Tumblr boys, I want to be famous because I want to help people. I want people to be able to relate to me and help them socially/emotionally through my words. I’m human, just like everyone else and I just want to be real for people. Sadly, that’s only an unrealistic dream. 

I love to travel. I have been blessed with a family that also loves to travel. I have been a lot of places, especially in the Caribbean and Mexico area thanks to cruises. My goal is to one day go to all fifty states, backpack in Europe, and chill in Ireland. I like being anywhere but home. 

I don’t know what else to really add to this. I guess if you want to know more, don’t be afraid to inbox me! 


Since my last post, I have had a conversation about holding on to memories. We seem to hold on to the memories that are emotions are tied too. You know the wild things we did or the sad events of our lives. We keep reminding ourselves with the pictures and gifts we keep (ladies you know exactly what I’m talking about) We have been told once it’s up on social media it there forever. Did you know that the more time you spend going over all the things of your past, the gifts, pictures and the words you save can be holding you back from moving forward in your life? It’s like you are running a race and you keep looking back behind you. Every time you look back you slow down. Really it’s called ‘baggage’ and even on airplanes they limit how much you can take. So we need to teach ourselves to consistently clean out our memories. Store and keep the good ones like good moments times with your family. Milestones and accomplishments in your life. Keep your social media current with who you are today not who you were for the past decade. Let’s move forward with a fresh perspective and keep building and improving ourselves.

theylltellyouimfearlessandinsane asked:

Hi Gabby, I love your HYGTG outfit! I was thinking about making a similar tour costume and I was wondering... what did you use for the glittery streaks on the skirt on top? Thanks!

Hey, thank you so much! So I used a fabric fusion pen that I bought at Wal-Mart for I think $4, I bought 2 of them and drew the lines out and then dumped a jar of white/pinkish reflective glitter, also bought at Wal-Mart, all over it. I did one line at a time, it took forever to do, even just to get the excess glitter off. It also got all over the house lmao. In the picture it looks a little light mainly because a lot came off from putting it on carefully(it was the first time of me wearing it after it was made and gluing the flowers down so I was paranoid) and moving around to take photos lost a lot so I’m going to reapply more this week, my advice would be definitely use a lot of glue and get as much on the glue as possible to hold it down. It also has to drive for a bit before you can pick it up to like shake the excess glitter off or put it away.

Just got home from a Michael Jackson tribute concert (will totally post some pictures tomorrow)

Michael Jackson will forever be in my heart, and I couldn’t be more amazed at how great of a performance the impersonator did tonight! It can’t be easy dancing all of MJ’s moves, but he did it perfectly! I wanna go see him again tbh.


week in review


week two and ive already failed at taking a picture every day because if you cant tell theres only 6 of them. moving on from this.

7/25 saturday- drove to st. michaels with my mother, the picture is of the bay bridge which was interesting to see because i hadnt been on the passengers side while crossing it in what seems like forever. it was a pretty nice day i had some really bomb food at what is known as the best restaurant in the area there, then we went on a boat tour. those pictures arnt on my phone so they werent used for this little thing. i also enjoyed some birthday cake icecream which was amazing.

7/26 sunday- i stayed home for most of sunday, only really leaving to run errands and get some groceries. but besides that, i spent time looking for my littlest pet shop toys to give away, and while looking for them i found my journal from first grade which held some gems. one of which is pictured above. “cuntry” being my favorite misspelling. 

7/27 monday- what did i even do during the day? i think i stayed in bed till like 2 in the afternoon. but then roxanna and i went to the x ambassadors//milky chance concert. its always pretty exciting to go to concerts tbh its like only joy in life for me. obviously both bands were gr8, but what really stuck out what the fact that casey harris the pianist for x ambassadors was blind and that made me embarrassingly emotional. honestly how amazing does it feel to be on a stage in front of so many people doing what you love and enjoying every bit of it and not even being able to see the crowd and how much theyre enjoying it too. you have to really love what youre doing i feel like to be able to be as happy as this guy was. and he probably doesnt want to be an inspiration because people that have prospered with disabilities shouldnt be put on a pedestal just because of it or whatever because theyre still normal people but things like this really put life in perspective. i love music. 

7/28 tuesday- i drove around a lot on tuesday, went to dc and back, dropped off my toys, and then went to marias for a parastuesday. then we went to get my nose pierced which really didnt hurt and i recommend it to everyone. icecream sandwiches were also eaten. 

7/29 wednesday- after school i had my laser appointment, and then i tried checkers fries for the first time, and went to my weekly mannat session because wednesdays have become our days. we sat in the hallway at hcc and ate food and facetimed her cousin and helped her out with her boy troubles. then i went to marias and //did homework and nick came over and then at like 11 we all went to northfields playground which was a good time. all i can think of was everything being hella wet and me sliding down that pole at 80mph. then we did the most teen thing ever and stared at the stars while lying down on the blacktop. what a movie moment. 

7/30 thursday- this day was not picture because i am a loser. it was mannats birthday so we hung out for most of the day and she left me at around 7 pm. its always a laugh so we had fun. i spent the rest of the night cleaning up my room and listening to music and being emo. 

7/31 friday- i did absolutely nothing of importance on this day. the picture is from the gym because thats all that really mattered. also the front bottoms are coming to maryland in november and it was announced on this day. tickets go on sale in 6 days and im going no matter what. 

this was a pretty alright week. all the colours in the pictures kinda go together.

I’m so tired, of playing
playing with this bow and arrow
gonna give my heart away
leave it to the other girls to play
for i’ve been a temptress too long
just. .
give me a reason to love you
give me a reason to be ee, a woman
i just wanna be a woman
from this time, unchained
we’re all looking at a different picture
thru this new frame of mind
a thousand flowers could bloom
move over, and give us some room

so don’t you stop, being a man
just take a little look from our side when you can
sow a little tenderness
no matter if you cry
give me a reason to love you
give me a reason to be ee, a woman
its all i wanna be is all woman
for this is the beginning of forever and ever
its time to move over

—  Glory Box - Portishead
I can't wait

“I can’t wait until everything that has to do with you is vanished from my life. I can’t wait until everything you own is gone. I can’t wait until all the pictures are deleted. I can’t wait to burn every piece of paper I ever wasted writing about you. I can’t wait to erase you from my life completely and to move on with my forever.”

Day # 63

[Today I went to montereybayaquarium and it was pretty amazing. I haven’t been there in such a long time and its even more amazing than I remember.

The picture is an exhibit combining trash taken from the ocean.]

It swam through the oceans, following the currents as they took it from shore to shore. It visited many different animals and different people, touching their lives for just a few moments before moving on. Whimsically and without care, it just kept swimming, following the flow of the ocean.

Behind it, the lives of those it touched was changed forever. Turtles began to change shape, birds were unable to eat anything else, and fish were entangled with it. No matter what it  did, it danced with those it touched forever. 

It is destined to keep swimming forever, never quite vanishing, but instead breaking down into smaller and smaller pieces. The plastic floated on as it will always do, dancing with everything in its  path, holding on and never letting go.

Marx Brothers -Hello, I Must Be Going

Marx Brothers -Hello, I Must Be Going

“Hello ! I Must Be Going!” By A Customer This review is from: Animal Crackers  Animal Crackers was the last picture the Marxes filmed on the Astoria Lot in New York (the lot used years later for the filming of the Cosby Show). The later move to Hollywood severed the Marxes’ Broadway connection. Both The Cocoanuts and Animal Crackers can forever be seen as a cinematic history lesson on the Marx Bros.’ New York stage antics and personna! Animal Crackers is more theatrical than cinematic.

Marx Brothers -Hello, I Must Be Going


The plot devices were pretty much commonplace as seen in high society screwball stage comedies of that era, but no one could match the Marxes for their ability to put a personal stamp on the comedy writing of George S. Kaufman. The dialogue is crisp. The music is entertaining. The songs are clever. But accept the fact that you are watching a ‘filmed’ play, rather than a Hollywood studio feature, and you will enjoy it even more! The best scene is one of the stagiest nonsensical ones…Chico and Harpo, after stealing the painting, try to escape the house through a door but are blocked by a terrible thundershower! Leaving through another exit, it appears sunny and the birds are singing. Chico exclaims “Ah, California!” Thus putting an exclamation point on the coming end to the Marx Bros.’ NY film and Broadway stage connection.

Marx Brothers -Hello, I Must Be Going was originally published on

moving out of my apartment this week!! 

tonight i spent the latter part of my evening taking down everything from the walls in my bedroom. my paintings, letters, pictures, murals, everything that has been significant to me within the past year came down. memories have been flooding my brain tonight, emotions flying left and right. i’m not moving away forever, of course, but it’s hard to say goodbye to this wonderful nitch in this beautiful town. moving back in with my parents is a humbling, yet comforting feeling. but leaving my home is hard. and it hurts my heart. 



Rowan thought she and Kyle would be together forever. They were going to be high school sweethearts, get married, have a family and live happily ever after; because he’s her first love, and that’s how things were supposed to be. What happens when Rowan’s picture perfect relationship shatters right before her eyes? Will she forever be haunted with memories from her past of the boy who destroyed her? Or will she allow herself to move on and learn to love for a second time?

We never talk about the person who fixes our broken heart, the person who mends us back together, the person who shows us that love truly does exist, even when we thought it never could again. Our second love.