i-will-eat-your-soul-and-shit-it-out

laughing-manually  asked:

Don't get me started on McDonalds...

OOooOOOOoooOOOO snap.

Mickey D’s, listen up. For serious.

Wtf are you feeding me cause it sure as shit is not beef or chicken. Stop with this “100% chicken” and meat BS ‘cause it be nasty.

And I mean, could you clean out your ice machines every once in a while? When I get moldy ice there is a problem.

AND !! TAKE !! ADVANTAGE !! OF THE !! HEAT LAMP !!
I MEAN REALLY WHY ARE MY FRIES COLDER THAN MY SOUL.

And DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE CHEESE.
Real talk. One time. My mom got a cheese burger and they left the plastic wrapping on the cheese. !?!?@?#?@?!?

Go eat some mighty tasty Chick-Fil-A instead. The universe created it for a reason. Unless it’s Sunday. Then you’re screwed.

Ikon getting kidnapped
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Hanbin:</b> nope<p/><b>Kidnapper:</b> what<p/><b>Hanbin:</b> i said that's not fucking it let me go :)<p/><b>Kidnapper:</b> *shyly lets him go<p/><b>Bobby:</b> lol what's happening bro<p/><b>Jinhwan:</b> *talks to himself crying* be strong jinhwannie you' re a man a very strong manly man don't cry<p/><b>Chanwoo:</b> *totally unintrested* can i have at least something to eat<p/><b>Kidnapper:</b> no<p/><b>Chanwoo:</b> well fuck you too<p/><b>Donghyuk:</b> *silently sitting in a corner waiting for the perfect time to break a chair in the kidnapper face*<p/><b>Yunhyeong:</b> we can talk this out if you want, if you let me go right now i can forgive you<p/><b>Kidnapper:</b> no<p/><b>Yunhyeong:</b> then i hope hanbin sends your damned soul to hell<p/><b>Junhoe:</b> i'm actually too fucking cool for this shit like what the fuck are jealous of me right? You did this cause you're jealous because i'm flawless i can't even i mean it's not my fault i'm born like this you should love yourself more<p/><b>Kidnapper:</b> what the fuck<p/><b>Junhoe:</b> MOM COME AND SAVE ME I'M SCARED<p/></p><p/></p>
The signs in unrequited love
  • Aries: *punches a wall* "whyyyyyyyy"
  • Taurus: eating their fave foods and crying forever
  • Gemini: "honestly fuck everything"
  • Cancer: "but...just...love me pls...I'll sell my soul to satan just...love me"
  • Leo: *aggressively flirting* "WHY ISNT IT WORKING EVERYBODY LOVES ME UGHHH"
  • Virgo: plotting a thousand ways to make them fall for you, researching the psychology of love and attraction and that shit man you dedicated
  • Libra: *buries face in pillow* "why u no like me"
  • Scorpio: probs makes out with their love's bff just to be noticed
  • Sagittarius: all your friends know everything about this person because you can't stop talking about them
  • Capricorn: what they say) fuck you man; what they mean) I wanna fuck you man
  • Aquarius: follows crush around like a lost puppy and cries on the inside
  • Pisces: "why does the universe hate me" *sees pic of crush* "oh my gOD YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS KILL ME NOW" *runs off sobbing*
the soul tattoo - eleven

pairing: Luke/Reader (Y/N)
rating: PG (there’s some swearing)

requested: yah

word count: 1300+

summary: If one day you woke up with a random tattoo on your body, you were destined to meet your soulmate soon. When (Y/N) finally gets her soul tattoo, she’s in for a shock when she finds out who her soulmate is.

one // two // three // four // five // six // seven // eight // nine // ten

Originally posted by sexycliffconda

(Your POV)

“You have his number?!” (Y/F/N) yelled. She was sitting right in front of me. I didn’t know why she had to yell. We were in my room eating ice cream and watching Netflix on my bed, when I finally decided to tell her the crazy shit that had happened today at work. 

I ended up taking a raincheck with my plans with Mikey. I couldn’t bear to hang out with him after just meeting Luke. It was just too weird and confusing.
So after work I went to this cute little ice cream shop on the corner near mine and (Y/F/N)’s apartment and bought two pints of my favorite ice cream, salted caramel, and a pint of (Y/F/N)’s favorite ice cream, mocha almond fudge. 

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Normal Activity

Normal Activity

Title: Normal Activity 
Author: cherrywhisp 
Rating: T+ for swears I guess (and being freaked out), otherwise content is K+.
Summary: Just a cute fluffy reader x Reid friend based one shot. The reader is freaked out after watching a scary movie

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TBH the energetic immune system/first response is the base/root chakra clamping down tight and locking your energy down so nothing gets in and nothing gets out

In the presence especially of negative forces (people or otherwise) a lot of people ask “But why can’t I astral/talk to anyone?”

If you are around a force looking for a way into your body to eat you like a candy cherry from the inside out, even if you mentally think they are ur perfect friend/lover/god/etc, generally your core/energy system sees it coming 20 miles away before you do and will clamp you inside urself like a fucking pearl until the danger passes

I saw this happen with roommate and her abusive partner, he had convined her he was her perfect soulmate-fu, her soul saw the tidal wave of parasitic shit coming and clamped down and then ejected most of her soul out the nearest open window until I dragged her back because she was comatose

Long story short her soul kept doing this and I stopped helping because she wasn’t seeing why it was happening but it was happening for an excellent reason

You can be clamped in your body for other reasons like being forcibly made to take care of your life-here or your guides intervening but a lot of the time it’s your first response system tbh, learn to take a closer look before you assume you need to wrench that door open immediately