i-was-there-it-was-so-emotional-for-all-of-us

Saturday night was spent watching a few good movies while overthinking things.. I knew I needed a good kick in the stomach to realize I have been expecting too much all along. But I couldn’t release the great unrest I felt as the clock struck 12. My emotions were held in great restraint. Tears fell upon tired cheeks, but the quiet disturbance remained tight in my chest. The night was unkind, as it peered through my window, all ears towards my woes. But I couldn’t utter a single soliloquy. It felt disappointed and left, until the morning finally came. I Should Go by Levi Kreiss rings in my ears. I used to sing that to someone and now I am singing it again for someone else. Despite my crummy guitar knowledge, he’d listen to me while I teach him new songs. Despite my trying voice, he told me I was his nightly lullaby; And his voice and his gentle snores are mine too. I’ve never slept so soundly. I’ve been focusing a lot of here-and-now on getting better. Which also meant drifting away to the reason why I had to heal in the first place. Memories of the previous years are now scant and I am once again wanting to run away from everything, from this feelings. But the feelings remain familiar and warm. The warmth sends pangs across my numbed heart, for I know I may never feel it again.

My bed still looks the same when it’s unmade. The pillows remain scattered. The coffee still tastes bitter. The morning floor is still too cold for my feet. But when I wake up each day, I don’t feel the same, I feel older.

home is when you listen to a my chemical romance album and listening to it carefully because they really put a genuine amount of emotion within each album regardless if you ‘liked’ it or not. home is the rawness of gerards voice, the clear strumming of the bass, the loud and quick guitar riffs that harmonised together, most of all the beating of the drums that continued with their momentum. home is feeling an emotion that you’ll never feel again, no one can replace it because it’s far too precious for it to be replaced, face it my chemical romance gave us so much to live for and they never failed to put as much effort into each album ever. even if they’re never gonna play live again, they’re not exactly gone and i dont know about you but home is never really gone it’s always there. every song they did still has that feeling of nostalgia, reminiscing memories, a sense of belonging and purpose. they really werent just a band, they were more than that, to me they were my home.

all of us

For the follower that sent me the extra bit of money and kind words of support

thank you so much.

-


The only way you could know how much I love you

Is if you could read my mind

You would see my love

But you would also see my hate

My fear

My weakness

You would see how you make me strong

You would see the things that weakened me

You would see my emotions

The things that make me feel

The things that make me wish i couldn’t

You could see how you’ve healed me

And the things that hurt me

You could watch yourself put me together

And watch how I was taken apart

You would see the person I am now

And the person I was before you

You need to believe my words

Because I can’t show you the rest

Ok so I know polyamorous relationships don’t have to be sexual and/or romantic but is it fair to not love the other person and only be in it for the sex when they love you and they know you don’t but they say it’s fine? Do i make sense?

Most relationships that people interpret as polyamorous do have something to do with romance and/or sexuality - but you’re right, some people expand their polyamory to include emotional intimacy and committed partnership without any other connotations of “dating.” However, being poly doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to make all of your relationships deeply intimate.

Your question seems to be whether it’s okay to have sex with someone you know has stronger feelings for you than you do for them. In general, it is never okay to take advantage of someone or manipulate them - do not use their feelings for you as a way to get sex, or make promises you have no intention of keeping.

But if both parties are fully aware of the mismatched levels of commitment and affection, that’s a choice for the two individuals to make for themselves.

For the partner who loves someone who doesn’t love them back, they need to consider their own emotional safety. Are they sticking around because they hope the other person will someday grow to love them? Are they in denial of this mismatch? Are they settling for someone because they feel like “willing to have sex with me” is just about as good as “loves me”? None of those are healthy reasons to stay. But if they’re going into the situation with clear eyes and full agency, accepting that they have an unrequited crush but might as well get some fun sex out of it, who is anyone to tell them they don’t know what’s best for them?

For the partner who doesn’t love the other person but is still sleeping with them, they need to think about how honest they’ve been with themselves and the other person. Have they hinted at future emotional intimacy to keep the sex available? Do they do anything manipulative that might make the other person feel that they need to settle for a sexual-but-not-emotional partner? Do they feel good about the sex and the interactions outside of the bedroom? This person has an obligation to be clear with the other partner about expectations they can and cannot fulfill, so the other person can make a fully informed decision. They can also make the choice to stop having sex if they feel guilty or unfulfilled by it - but they should be careful not to spin it as a condescending, “you say you’re okay with this but I know what’s best for you” kind of thing.

Generator Rex

also known as the series with a 

  • hispanic lead who slowly discovers more of his heritage as he struggles with amnesia. he’s also only 15 and actually acts like a kid, but has actual emotions besides being a goofy kid? he’s caring and compassionate
  • stoic chinese guy who’s badass. he’s also has emotions sometimes, he’s caring and compassionate with people he loves
  • STEM female lead who kicks sexism in the teeth every chance she gets. has emotions and that doesn’t stop her from being a patriarchal crushing badass
  • the sidekick is a hilarious, no-fucking-nonsense monkey with a new york accent and guns

bonus:

  • ridiculously smart hispanic scientist
  • badass black female agent/soldier
  • the occasional cameo by more colored agents/soldiers (there are like so few white people in this series???)
  • a kinda X-men scenario with addressing ‘racism’ between good EVOs & humans
  • all the bad and/or questionable people/villains are old white guys
  • the main character has goggles as part of his aesthetic, but actually uses them

anonymous asked:

I agree. the way i see it is Emma has just been through hell in all of season 5. And now she's finally blissfuly happy and ready to start her future with killian. But then comes the savior side effect or whatever it is. She probably doesnt want to break their happy little bubble they've just fought hard for. She doesnt want to ruin their moment. Not to mention killian has suffered so much lately so i get it if she wants to keep him happy and safe for a while longer,ignorance is bliss and all

Exactly. We’ll have to see how it plays out, but I don’t at all think it’s a matter of her trusting him, but more about protecting him and what they have for as long as she can.  

The other thing is that I think in discussing Emma and her growth we have to remember that her “walls” are just a metaphor. And a metaphor can only go so far when describing someone’s mental state and emotional reactions.  So when the showrunners use that metaphor, and when we fans use it, it will almost always lack a fair degree of nuance. It’s either walls up or walls down! But, no, humans aren’t like that. There are no real walls, and there are degrees of vulnerability and emotional growth and availability. That’s human. 

I like to let Emma be human. It makes her a more interesting character. 

anonymous asked:

evie, sandy, and kathy headcanons plz?

  • okay so i picture evie as small, having short brown hair and lots of freckles (also maybe some native american background)
  • she’s always super cool, calm, and collected
  • she has freckles on her face, dark brown eyes, and there’s always a little smirk lingering on her lips
  • evie’s nails are always painted red and one time while steve was sleeping, she painted his too (she has a picture saved for blackmail)
  • she doesn’t smoke but she doesn’t bother steve about it because even though it’s bad and all it’s no use and would just start a fight
  • speaking of, evie really hates fighting so so much, to avoid it, she usually asks steve how his day was when she first sees him so he can get any negative emotions out of the way and not accidnetly take it out on her
  • evie doesn’t really socialize, she would rather hang out/ go driving with steve than party AND she’s got this adorable little calico cat that she’s actually got steve attached to
  • i picture sandy with long dirty blonde hair and dark blue eyes
  • sandy’s name is actually sandra but the nickname stuck bc she was always dirty and sandy from playing outside 
  • she’s v into pastels, she’s always dressed in cute little skirts and sweaters and she spends a lot of time on her make up
  • everyone forgets that she’s middle class bc she’s around sodapop so much and it kind of frustrates her because deep down she doesn’t want to be seen as a greaser
  • sandy’s always been a sucker for romance and loved all the bad rom coms and candle lit dates, ect.
  • part of the reason she left to florida (besides cheating) was to get away from the soc/greaser thing, and she never really meant to hurt sodapop when she left him, but she knew it would hurt him more if she stayed
  • she had a little girl and even though it wasn’t sodapop’s, the baby’s middle name was patty (sort of a spin off of his and a way to remember him)
  • to me kathy is average height, has hazel eyes, tanned skin, and brown hair that she’s bleached blonde a few times
  • she can’t mind her own business to save her life, she’s always up at the dingo gossiping about someone or something
  • she’s always blowing bubbles and popping her gum 
  • kathy’s dad left and her mom works hard in town to make money for them to live, so most of the time kathy’s the only one at her house
  • her and evie aren’t really that good of friends because evie likes to keep to herself and is quiet while kathy is loud and is always able to keep a conversation about anything
  • she does have lots of friends though bc she has a bubbly personality and is fun to be around and also bc she knows everything about every party ever thrown

🍓🍌 Smoothie bowls… I’ve missed you! ✨ School has kept me really busy this semester so I’ve been living off of protein smoothies and oats (which are both filling and delicious, so I’m not complaining 😜). Despite the busy schedule, I find myself happier, more productive, and less stressed than ever. I owe it all to mindfulness/meditation. 🌞 The first time I adopted a consistent meditation practice was in Thailand. A super badass woman named Mel led morning practice and told us that meditation is all about giving yourself a choice—to let yourself choose who you want to be. When thrust into different situations, it’s almost as if we have an automated response. We see ourselves only in terms of a self created image and we often identify with our emotions. When you meditate, you realize that your thoughts aren’t you, they’re just thoughts. You begin to accept instead of resist. Just ten minutes of meditation each morning can drastically change the person you decide to be each day. PLEASE START! Your mind needs just as much love as your body. I would highly recommend the app Headspace which offers a free ten day meditation practice that I absolutely loved. You can also search guided meditations on YouTube. The resources are out there, and everything else you need lies within. 💛

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anonymous asked:

I just realized that I am a victim of severe emotional abuse, it is mostly from my ISTJ mother(but don't get me wrong not all ISTJs are bad) it's because of my slightly slipping grades and she wants perfection like she has but I'm only 14 so I can't move out yet. I dread coming home because I know she'll nitpick something from me and I'll feel bad, she constantly treats me like I'm below her and now I understand why I feel the way I do. I really don't know what to do please help me

Emotionally abused anon here! I forgot to mention that she was physically abusive when I was a child but she kinda reined in on that. She uses the phrase “you stress me out to the point that I’ll have high blood pressure and die because of you” I don’t have much more to add but if I do I’ll tag myself as EA anon

Hi nonnie,

I’m sorry that you’re going through this, both physical and emotional abuse can be shittily effective and long lasting, and no one should have to go through that– ever. This being said, I’m happy that you know that it’s happening and that you have a distance between the things being said and who you are. 

Please please please keep that knowledge about yourself and that distance. Always know that you’re important and amazing and able. From your message, it’s clear that you have a good head on you and that you know that perfect grades (or grades in general) are not an indication of how great you are. I have a friend who was in a similar situation when she was younger and so she joined a lot of clubs and after-school activities to have a reason to stay on campus. 

This worked for her– but I think the approach you should take on this is that you need to search outside of your home for things to be involved in because you enjoy them and not purely because you’re trying to get away from home. Find people outside of home who see you for who you are and treat you the way you should be treated. In this way, when you get home at least you’ll be feeling better about your day or about what awaits you. Try not to overload yourself with things you’re not really into in an effort to stay away from home though. Finally, just keep a goal in mind for your future and work towards it, always remember what you’re working for, how capable you are, and how you’re going to be there soon :). 

Just look for your family– whether it’s another parent or a sibling or a cousin or friends and teachers. Remember you can do anything and you’re magical. <3

sidelys  asked:

Yuki and mei headcanons if you're still doing these? I'm curious!

1. I love love Yuki and I have this headcanon that she still doesn’t fully control her magic, so when she feels really strong emotions, her hands… literally catch on fire? It’s her own magic fire, so obviously it doesn’t burn her or anything, but it’s surprising to anyone who isn’t used to it (so everyone who isn’t Mai). For this reason she’s decided to avoid holding hands as much as possible, because, while it doesn’t hurt her, it can be painful to people who touch it.

2. They were created by Shinki at the exact same time. They were supposed to be a single witch, but something went wrong and Shinki ended up with two small witches instead, with powers and personalities perfectly completing one another. They aren’t sisters at all (neither by blood nor the way they see each other) but rather… Two opposites who really need to stick together, if that makes sense.

3. Following the previous hc… Mai says really harsh things when you beat Yuki first, but deep down she wouldn’t stand being all alone. Because Yuki is her “other side”, despite how much she pretends she doesn’t need her, she really does need her. I like to imagine that Yuki is the most appreciated of the two, thanks to her cheerful and honest personality. She also always boasts about being stronger than Mai (truth is she really isn’t, but I’ll talk about this later). Mai is cold, distant and doesn’t voice her thoughts and emotions. The fight in MS, when Yuki is beaten first, is Mai’s “chance” to finally let Yuki know how she feels, to tell her “see, you can be hurt too”. But even then, Mai isn’t honest! Because she knows Yuki isn’t the one hurting her, and she knows she’d be so lost without Yuki. It gets better after MS, though.

4. Mai is slightly taller than Yuki. Just a bit.

5. I’m not usually a big fan of body temperature headcanons because they tend to be dumb, but… It just fits these two. Plus, they aren’t humans at all. Mai is definitely less warm than Yuki.

6. Yuki is confident in her powers, even if she isn’t the greatest witch, but she knows Mai is stronger than her. She has a kind of inferiority complex for Mai, but hides it by pretending even more that she’s the strongest of the two. Obviously it has consequences.

7. Mai often ties the big white ribbon on the back of Yuki’s skirt. Yuki ties the ribbon on top of Mai’s head.

8. Yuki tried to confess to Mai once in the past, but because Mai didn’t know how to handle this, she acted as if she hadn’t understood what Yuki meant. It quickly became awkward and Yuki took it as a rejection of sort, so the topic was never brought up again. It adds to the misunderstandings/bitter feelings they let pile up until MS :v

9. Neither of them really need to sleep, but Yuki loves taking naps

10. Yuki is the most forward of the two, but… Mai knows very well how to do it too, when she feels like it. The wings come in handy if she wants to keep Yuki close (which only makes poor Yuki’s heartbeat go wild and her hands catch on fire, probably. she’s not used to it).

anonymous asked:

I am so overly emotional tonight... So I was in a really bad car accident like 6 months ago (which I get emotional about enough as it is), but I have an ankle injury from it that won't seem to heal all the way and I found my pointe shoes in my room, and I put them on even though I can't actually use them and I can't stop crying now because I'll never dance like I used to

Oh babe.  I’m so sorry.  I can’t imagine what that must be like.  Please know that I am holding you tight and thinking only good things happen for you from here on out.

I finally got to see Ghostbusters yesterday. It was really good. All I was promised in badassery, girls standing up for girls, science, and Holtzmann.

I saw it as part of my school’s film series, so it was a really small group of us who had no problem humming along to the theme song and yelling “Ghostbusters!” every time someone said “Who are they gonna call?” or similar. It was a laugh a minute. 8/10, would see again.

8/10, because I reserve the tenth star for truly exceptional works of art, and because of one throwaway line I’m really surprised I haven’t seen anyone talking about.

The ghost dinosaur looking thing is ravaging the rock concert, and the Ghostbusters are chasing it through the crowd. We’re all laughing our heads off. Then one random guy in the audience yells, “I think I’m having another flashback!” and my laughter dies on my lips.

I had an emotional flashback earlier that day. That means I heard a car’s tires screech and suddenly I was shaking and breathing in tiny little gasps, unable to keep from replaying in my head the time I crashed my car, over and over, terrified.

I’m lucky enough not to experience full flashbacks, to always be aware I’m not actually reliving the scene, just the emotions surrounding it. And I’m still sitting there in the theater, everyone else still having the time of their lives, thinking, “My PTSD is not a joke.” They played it as a throwaway gag, something that affects so very many people’s daily life. And nobody’s talking about it.

I was able to go back to enjoying the movie, and that was the only real flaw that I saw, at least that I’m at all qualified to talk about. Continue reblogging your gifsets and writing fanfic (there better be fanfic.) If we condemned everything that had flaws, we wouldn’t have anything left to enjoy. Just, when you’re writing your next comedy, remember:

PTSD is not a joke.

fuuei said: haha no i think it’s good to discuss differing veiwpoints without that intent. i don’t think their age is any excuse, frankly. 15 is more than old enough to recognize something as basic as that. four hours later, a simple “we’ll accept punishment” nothing else, does not help at all. it’s also not helping that eren’s always been so gung-ho about the sc and its creed. about armin, just one “we’ll support you armin” anytime after the reveal wouldn’t have taken much time

Eh, I’d argue that the type of empathy required to appreciate the emotional struggles of the adults responsible for you when said struggles conflict with your own struggles takes a few more years to become an expected, reasonable thing.

The anime might help out on the supportive front.

When it, you know. Exists.

raelis1 said: to be fair to eren and mikasa, they didn’t exactly have much time to spend on comforting armin, considering that zeke and reiner were still out there somewhere. they didn’t leave him alone because they didn’t care about his emotional state; they did it because they needed to fulfill their objective as quickly as possible, and hange ordered them to. so i find it a bit baffling that they get blamed for not being empatheitc enough towards armin.

This part is also true, but between the two of you, I’m starting to form this rough idea in my head about a post on how badly the Shiganshina Trio handles consistent emotional support outside of extreme situations.

They’re like the, “You fight good,” .gif of friendships, sometimes. Not out of social ineptitude exactly, but out of a sense that everything’s cool if they make it out alive. Despite continued evidence that some TLC processing might be in order. Dramatic outbursts are right out in the open for them to respond to, so they do so, but in the quiet aftermath, I’m not sure they know what they’re doing.

I don’t know, that idea’s still forming, so I haven’t gone through and really examined it, but I am starting to like it a lot.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

idk if im genderfliud or actually fully trans, I've had dysphoria like 1ce or 2ce but also im rlly out of touch w my own emotions so i might have it more often and not notice?

i’m not sure what you’re asking anon, but I can tell you that if you feel like you are trans- not 100% fully all of the time the gender you were assigned at birth- that’s all that matters. Lots of trans people never experience dysphoria and they’re completely valid too.
*edit: read this ask a little too quickly, apologies. genderfluid people *are* under the trans umbrella- it seems like you’re asking whether you’re the “other” binary gender- we can’t tell you that. if you consistently feel like, when you check in yourself, you are one or the other identity, that’s more reliable than using dysphoria as a measuring stick. -Artemis

8

When you told me to contemplate the world, what did you expect me to picture in my mind? A map? Some floaty cosmic energy? You know what I actually did see? Katara, Sokka and Toph. I saw the Kyoishi Warriors, The White Lotus, the monks who raised me, and I saw Zuko. I don’t know how to “contemplate the world” without first thinking of the people I care about. Including Zuko.

10

It’s the fact that I could become a part of GOT7. Since I passed the audition, I had spent only 7 months as a trainee and then was immediately added to the members of GOT7 in order to begin the preparation routine for our debut. Up to that time I had never danced once in my life, so it was very hard to keep up with other members who had been preparing for the debut since a long time ago. That’s why I feel really lucky to be as I’m now - being able to do activities as a member of GOT7” - Choi Youngjae

youtube

The PTR has a bunch of new emotes, and I swear they’re bringing us all closer as a people

10

You’re a miracle,Jodie. Our miracle.

7

6 Years of Dan

@danisnotonfire posted his first video six years ago today and since then he’s met his best friend, created his own unique video series such as ‘reasons why dan’s a fail’ and ‘internet support group,’ been on and now has a show on BBC radio 1, made many great collaborations with other YouTubers, created a gaming channel, written an incredible book, gone on tour, and effected the lives of over 5 million people. Dan has done a lot in these six years and I personally am glad I got to watch it all happen. He’s inspired many people and managed to make them laugh. He’s creative, intelligent, well articulated, kind, and has a unique ‘relatable’ sense of humour. I’m so glad that he chose to share his life with us and would like to say thank you. 

Thank you, Dan, for posting that iconic video that makes you cringe so much. If not for you posting that video and continuing to make the great content you do, then many of us would not be the people we are today. In the book you said that you felt that you and Phil were writing it to thank us for being there so you could share your lives and ideas with us, but really we should be thanking you for allowing us to get to know you and for making us smile.