i-was-drunk-and-pretending-to-be-a-cat

happy birthday to the love of my life 🎉👑 i can’t believe we’ve known each other for ten years. i remember your seventeenth birthday when your dad let us try expensive wine and we had to pretend like we’d never been drunk before? thank you for giving me the time of day back then. i still don’t deserve you but thank you for making me laugh so hard i snorted milkshake and not dumping me like, immediately after, thank you for quoting parks and rec to me on the daily, thank you for holding my hand on airplanes. you’re crazy intelligent, you’re so kind, and i hope you’ve an amazing day 💛

EVERYONE IS GONE

mom and dad and the kids are GONE they are IN THE VAN on their way to THEIR VACATION in OCEAN CITY MARYLAND i have the house ENTIRELY TO MYSELF (and the four pugs and the three cats)

i’m no longer sure if i’m gonna actually… go anywhere cuz it occurred to me that if i DON’T spend any money this week, i can take the money HOME with me and use it for GROCERIES, so uh :/

on tuesday i’m gonna buy a six pack of beer and go get drunk while standing in the creek with my best friend and pretending we’re fishing, though

anyway this is great, nobody’s yelling for my attention and i don’t have to wear a binder cuz there’s nobody around to look at me and then misgender me accidentally cuz i had my titties visible (nobody HAS done this but i get ANXIETY about it and so i’ve been wearing my binders more hours than usual and giving myself chest troubles lol)