Do you love yourself?
Yes. Oh how I want to say yes.
Because, well, when someone says something mean, it doesn’t take me all day to get over it anymore.
And when I do something clumsy, or say something stupid, I laugh because I know I’ll never be defined by a single action, a single mistake. I laugh because sometimes it’s healthy to laugh at yourself.
I want to say yes, I do love myself.
Because, well, when I look in the mirror I no longer have the urge to cry.
Because sometimes - most of the time, when I have negative thoughts, I am able to counteract them.
I want to say yes. I really do.
But then I remember last Friday, when I wasn’t so kind to myself. I remember the things I said. I remember the way I was deliberately cruel.
I want to say yes.
But then I remember the fact that I still have this thought at the back of my mind that I will never be intelligent enough to achieve everything that I want to achieve, that I will never fulfil my purpose in life, that I will never be enough of this or that I will always be too much of that. I remember and then I feel a little sick.
If you asked me for a black and white answer for whether I loved myself, I’d say yes. Because I do love myself a whole lot more than I did a year ago.
The truth is yes, sure, I love myself. But that doesn’t mean I always like the way I am. And yes, okay, I love myself, but that doesn’t mean I always treat myself right.
And yes, yes of course I love myself, but sometimes we do destructive things in the name of love, and sometimes we don’t treat our loved ones well and sometimes we hurt them because we are only human and here’s the only certain part of this whole reply: I am only human. I am only human.