i-want-mom

4

Hey fam, remember when I said I was going to set up a mail box so you guys could send me all the weird and wonderful romance/erotica (and other) books you find and don’t know what else to do with? Well guess who finally got their shit together.

That’s right the planets have aligned and my house is probably about to sink into a swirling hell vortex, but at least now you can write to me at:

Joy Demorra
# 250
2038 Ford Parkway
Saint Paul
MN 55116

I know this was primarily going to be set up for you to mail me books to review and add to my Collection™ but a few people have asked me if they can also send a few other things as well. To which the answer is yes you can send me other things you think I might like, but with one stipulation: Don’t be creepy. I swear to god if I have to open another box with a severed finger in it in my lifetime I will not be happy, so please, don’t do that.

And just so we’re absolutely clear: candy/tea/trinkets/books good, body parts bad. (I’m looking at you @vampireapologist 👈👀👈👁)

I look forward to all the weird wonderful shit that’s about to enter my life ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

I already got my Christmas gift to myself – a playstation 4 – but I wanna get this too. Idk…

My Dad Also Wants Me to Be a Pokemon Master
  • Me: *gasp* Oh, my God! It's a Dratini!
  • Mom: In the Wal-Mart? *pause* What's Dratini?
  • Me: Cute, baby dragon.
  • Mom: Oh.
  • Me: But he's underweight.
  • Dad: So feed him! Poor thing!
  • [Excited by this malnourished baby dragon, my parents take it upon themselves to drive me all over downtown, looking for Pokemon.]
  • Dad: Okay, so do you see anything around here?
  • Me: A Pidgey.
  • Dad: A Pidgey? I drove all the way out here for a PIDGEY?
  • Me: Oh, here's a Magikarp!
  • Dad: That's worse!
  • Mom: What's a Magikarp?
  • Dad: A useless fish.
  • Mom: *pause* Can you feed it to the underweight baby dragon!?
Stereotypes ABT the USA that are true
  • East Coast: it's not a philly cheesesteak unless you're in Philly
  • Midwest: I learned to grow corn in school but not how to put on a condom
  • Florida: 'Gaters
  • South: A dude with a rifle on his back bought enough Whataburger to kill a small elephant. He's in his truck alone.
  • West coast: brah lets go get some in-n-out.