i-wanna-be-down

Okay I was going to wait for a bit to share this song with everyone because I want to incorporate it into a particular fic (and I still will eventually), but I feel like I’m depriving the world of a masterpiece in doing so. In fact, sometime I wanna write a huge goddamn meta post about Tony and this song but OKAY shush, now is not the time. THUS, PLEASE HOLD ON TIGHT BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO SHOW YOU THE SONG THAT WILL CRUSH THE SOUL OF ANYONE WHO LOVES TONY STARK. 

Please listen to this song; Pluto by Sleeping at Last

Now that you’re probably crying, I wanna talk about a few of my favourite lines. Keep in mind, the entire fucking song sounds like Tony wrote it so these are just a few of my faves because I wanna break it down a bit.  

Now I live a waking life
Of looking backwards, looking backwards;
A model citizen of doubt.

I mean just kill me now please, because these are among the first lines of this song, and it has me in tears over Tony looking back over his life, feeling accountable and guilty for so many things. But also, Tony has always been characterized as a futurist, someone who looks ahead and in many ways is ahead of his time. I mean, god, Tony spends so much of his time looking forward, molding and shaping the future…. shit damn. Okay. 

When I break pattern, I break ground.

Yo okay but seriously Tony Stark is a goddamn innovator and I’m just thinking about him breaking through constant barriers with his mind and fuck this line gives me so many feelings about his mind and all the things that he can do with it, the change he can make with it. 

I rebuild when I break down.

Do I even… need… 

The first thing that springs to mind is 616 Tony and his alcoholism/depression. So, you know. Pain, so much pain. 

The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity.
The heaviness that I hold in my heart’s been crushing me.

:)))))))))))) 

Tony Stark has a heart and it’s broken time and time again and it kills me!! Kills me. 

So show me where my armor ends,
Show me where my skin begins.

Ahh, and here we have my favourite line in the song, the one that ties it all together for me and makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry for a year. Tony Stark, wearing literal armour that is a part of himself to protect others, but has been wearing invisible armour for as long as he can remember to protect himself. Tony Stark who is so at one with his tech that he considers it an extension of himself, real life pieces of himself that he envisions and makes into tangible objects. Tony Stark who puts his heart and soul into his tech and his armour, who is used to people liking his persona more than the person he really is, used to feeling like Iron Man a better man than he is, even though they’re one and the same

Anyways this song murdered me and left my corpse out to dry so I thought I’d share that experience with you all.

anonymous asked:

Tbh I just wanna suck Luke's dick. Like, kiss down his trail and play with him balls while kitten licking the tip of his dick to tease him.

Damn I wanna talk about this all night

idk if i wanna date someone or exist as a beautiful entity that turns everyone down but /looks/ like i have a date every friday 7 pm EST on the dot but im always 30 minutes late and my date always waits for me …idk

10

“Parachute”

I don’t tell anyone about the way you hold my hand
I don’t tell anyone about the things that we have planned
I won’t tell anybody, won’t tell anybody
They wanna push me down, they wanna see you fall down

Won’t tell anybody that you turn the world around
I won’t tell anyone that your voice is my favorite sound
I won’t tell anybody, won’t tell anybody
They wanna see us fall, they wanna see us fall down

I don’t need a parachute, baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall (Down, down, down)

Don’t believe the things you tell yourself so late at night
And, you are your own worst enemy, you’ll never win the fight
Just hold onto me, I’ll hold onto you
It’s you and me up against the world, it’s you and me

I don’t believe anything, don’t trust anyone any more
But I believe you when you say we’re never gonna fall
Hand behind my neck, arm around my waist
Never let me hit the ground, you’ll never let me crash (Down)

I don’t need a parachute, baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall (Down, down, down)

I don’t need a parachute, baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall (Down, down, down)

I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of
I won’t fall out of love, I fall into you

I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of
I won’t fall out of love, I fall into you

I don’t need a parachute, baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall (Down, down, down)

I don’t need a parachute, baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall (Down, down, down)

I don’t need a parachute, baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall (Down, down, down)

“La La Lainey”

She was in to hardcore, I was in to rock and roll
She was in to girls it was her own form of birth control
She was smoking cigarettes and drinking before 5
She was wild, she was fine with being hungover all the time

Come on!

She was always at a party disappointing daddy,
Always dating dirtbags, everyone but me she had
Lyrics from her favorite song tattooed on her arm
She was rough, she was fine, she was way out of her mind

I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…
I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…
I love her like hate, I love her like pain,
I need her like a picnic needs the rain
I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…

She loved drinking whiskey first thing in the morning,
She would start a fight, if you looked at her the wrong way
Everyday was Halloween a reason to rebel,
She was wild, she was fine with being bitter all the time

I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…
I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…
I love her like hate, I love her like pain,
I need her like a picnic needs the rain
I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…

La La La La La La La La La La…
La La La La La La La La La La…

I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…
I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…

She was smoking cigarettes and drinking before 5
She was wild, she was fine with being hungover…

I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…
I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…
I love her like hate, I love her like pain,
I need her like a forest needs a flame
I love her like rage, I love her like shame
I need her like a victim needs the plague
I love her like La La La La La La La La La La…

“Angel”

I’m in love with an angel, heaven forbid
Made me a believer with the touch of her skin

I’d go to hell and back with you
Stay lost in what we found.
Worlds apart we were the same
Until we hit the ground

Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m weak
Maybe I’m blinded by what I see
You wanted a soldier but it wasn’t me
‘Cause I could never set you free

So fly on your own
It’s time I let you go
Go

I’m in love with an angel who’s afraid of the light
Her halo is broken but there’s fight in her eyes

Walls are built to keep us safe
Until they’re crashing down
Worlds apart we were the same
Until you hit the ground

Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m weak
Maybe I’m blinded by what I see
You wanted a soldier but it wasn’t me
'Cause I could never set you free

So fly on your own
It’s time I let you go
Go

Walls are built to keep us safe
Until they’re crashing down
Worlds apart we were the same
Until you hit the ground

Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m weak
Maybe I’m blinded by what I see
You wanted a soldier but it wasn’t me
'Cause I could never set you free

So fly on your own
It’s time I let you go

So fly on your own
It’s time I let you go
Go

Landon Austin - Armor

I’m not bullet proof when it comes to you
Don’t know what to say when you made me the enemy
After the war is won
There’s always the next one
I’m not bullet proof when it comes to you

Maybe I’ll crash into you
Maybe we would open up these wounds
We’re only alive if we bruise
So I lay down this armor
I will surrender tonight
Before we both lose this fight
Take my defenses
All my defenses
I lay down this armor
I lay down this armor
I lay down this armor

I do what it takes to make this right
But we got to stop before the regret
After the war is won
There’s always the next one
I’ll do what it takes to make this right

Maybe I’ll crash into you
Maybe we would open up these wounds
We’re only alive if we bruise
So I lay down this armor
I will surrender tonight
Before we both lose this fight
Take my defenses
All my defenses
I lay down this armor
I lay down this armor
I lay down this armor for you

I’ll be you escape
I’ll be your safe place
I’ll be your shelter
Your shelter yeah
I’ll be you escape
I’ll be your safe place
I’ll be your shelter
Your shelter yeah

Maybe I’ll crash into you
Maybe we would open up these wounds
We’re only alive if we bruise
So I lay down this armor
I will surrender tonight
Before we both lose this fight
Take my defenses
All my defenses
I lay down this armor
I lay down this armor
I lay down this armor for you
I lay down this armor for you

“Her Name Is Alice”

(“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense”)
(“Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t”)

I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time
And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind
And the girl that chased the rabbit, drank the wine, and took the pill
Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels

To stand outside your virtue
No one can ever hurt you
Or so they say

Her name is Alice (Alice)
She crawls into the window
Through shapes and shadows
Alice (Alice)
And even though she’s dreaming, she knows

Sometimes the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain
And every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain
And through the looking glass we see she’s painfully returned
But now off with her head I fear is everyone’s concern

You see there’s no real ending
It’s only the beginning
Come out and play

Her name is Alice (Alice)
She crawls into the window
Through shapes and shadows
Alice (Alice)
And even though she’s dreaming
She’s unlocked the meaning for you

This kingdom
Good riddance
Her freedom
And innocence
Has brought this whole thing down

Her name is Alice (Alice)
She crawls into to the window
Through shapes and shadows
Alice (Alice)
And even though she’s dreaming
She’s unlocked the meaning

(“Red nights, white knights, marching into the fight”)
(“Drink me, shrink me, fill me to sink me”)
(“Red nights, white knights, marching into the fight”)
(“Drink me, shrink me, fill me to sink me”)

She’s unlocked the meaning for you

(“And contrariwise, what it is it wouldn’t be”)
(“And what it wouldn’t be it would”)
(“You see?”)

WHAT I LEARNED ABT MYSELF TODAY.
  • i don’t talk a lot y'know
    • i know
      • colored xtra in the background of a black-n-white film
  • i vandalize the mouth of the neon river
    • i don’t wanna talk abt it
  • i take a drink of water and it owes me nothing
    • i don’t wanna talk abt it
  • i wipe my hands on my jeans w/o evn looking and i don’t wanna talk abt it
  • i look down at my feet because of birds
  • and a faucet drips in time w the end of the world

I kinda wanna redesign him from the knees down, but I think it’s high time I at least share bedhead!Diesel with everyone. 

Also if I don’t fully design / draw a logo for Deadlift O’Grady’s Gym assume I am very sad inside.

anonymous asked:

Im sorry im a coward to send this anon, but im just so sad seeing you get all these other anons, calling you names and whatnot and telling you to grow up. Calling someone else all those names and telling someone to kill themselfs? Wow i wonder who needs to grow up really, that is certainly not being a rolemodel to anyone, it really makes me afraid of such people. Just wanted to send some love and support altho you already seem like such a much stronger person than myself!

It is fine – I know people do not want to be associated with this. I don’t even wanna be associated with this. I will probably take down a lot of the messages in the morning. Well the more morning. When I wake up.

I appreciate your love and support, but oh I’m far from strong. I’m ending all this tonight (and ah, I realize that sounds dark, but I only mean I’m sayin’ my last bit and then blocking everyone I can.)

Considering I just got real life gore submitted directly into my inbox, I really do appreciate it.

i haven’t had a dreamless sleep in almost two years and i’ve tried every single tactic to have calm/restful sleep but to no avail. 

i’m thinking of doing a zine or continual blog about sleep; basically how people contend with sleep, if they have trauma or sleep disorders or mental health shit that makes sleep difficult/impossible/terrifying. i guess sort of about the rituality of sleep and insomnia and nightmares. tentatively postulating on the model of *how we sleep now*. i’d like to span cross media; with writing, photography, design, illustration, snap videos sent at 5 am, the sluggish thoughts scribbled down after a 10 hr medicated sleep, etc that is created around the concept of sleep.

this is all in really early stages but if any of you wanna talk and collab with me i’d be really down! i really want it to be a collaborative effort !