the thing about falling in love with your best friend is you think they will never hurt you.  How could someone that you know so well hurt you, right? Thats where it all goes wrong.

We used to spend nights on the phone for hours just laughing and talking about the most pointless things. it seemed like we could never run out of conversation.. Its funny how things change, because now here we are 6 months later, and I can’t even think of a sentence to say to you.
You were always there when I needed it and you were the only one that could ever understand me.
And I thought we crossed the line between friendship and lovers because of all the nicknames and all the flirting and all the hearts and touching under tables and words that you spoke so smoothly. I thought that was all so beyond friendship. but the thing is, just because someone acts like they want more, does not mean they want more. and just because someone seems to be everything you are looking for in a person does not mean that you are also that person for them.
And I used to think that you were so stupid for not seeing what was right there in front of you but the truth is you saw it, you just didn’t want it.
the thing about falling in love with your best friend is, it will destroy you and you won’t even see it coming.
The truth is, you never know anyone. You can, think you know a person but people will always always always surprise you. and you surprised me in all the worse ways.
because you didn’t love me, and you weren’t even a friend to me to start with but I was too blinded to see any of it, even after you continuously proved it.
You never felt a damn thing for me,  you just didn’t want to be alone, you just kept me there for when it was convenient for you.
We haven’t spoken in months and you don’t even care, you don’t even realize any of it.
and I just don’t understand it, I don’t understand how its possible to go from talking to someone day after day, to not even texting them to ask how they’ve been. I don’t understand why you said all these things if you didn’t mean any of them.. and I don’t understand why its been months and I’m still in the same state you left me in, I’m still always thinking about you and you don’t give a damn.

—  its always going to be like this

On my thoughts about Batman v Superman….

asbrightandbrief said: this review made me laugh so much bless you

Wow, thanks!!!!!! The movie did the hard work for making it funny. LOL  

You know, I really have no idea how what I write will end up reading. I do these  right after watching the movie, and usually about when I really should be going to bed.  I don’t think before I write. At all. (You can probably tell just from all the crazy typos!) It ends up being me just typing out whatever drifts through my head. I actually had to reread it after seeing this to remember what I wrote! LOL

Recently I had been questioning my doing this. I use the time I used use (too many “use” there! LOL)  to write in my journal at night, but now when I do get to my notebook I found I have been falling asleep mid sentence every single night. It isn’t the ink stains that bother me (except that classic gothic nightgown the FIRST time I wore it! Grrr!) but the fact I loose everything I meant to write. My journal entries used to fill pages each day, and now it ends up half a paragraph of increasingly illegible writing ending in a scrawl. I don’t get time to go back during the day, and then I just forget. I was wondering if I should even keep writing these. I’ve done them on every movie I’ve seen for more than a year, but is habit worth the time? Your comment has convinced me to keep it up for now. Occasionally making someone laugh makes it worthwhile!

Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.
You claim to love her, inside and out, but the only time you call her beautiful is when it’s 3 in the morning and I’ve already turned you down.
—  girls tell each other everything, c.j.n.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.