Vodkanon here - Devi, I kind of spluttered when I saw the "hardcore Russian person who likes squishy bara poly" bc seriously, you are mostly right (even tho the russian part isn't, but who cares? I don't and the image was nice xD)
Hhaaaa I’m glad you were ok with it, tbh I was slightly worried you’d be offended or something >.>
Anyway I’ve decided to hijack this ask with some headcanons so it’ll have some content.
Consider UshiBoKuroIwaDai going shopping. Ushijima is practical, of course. People think he has a good fashion sense but that’s not true at all. He takes exactly what he needs to in the same colors: Either white, black, or blue. Kuroo is responsible for creating this false image. He always goes around with him, making him try on a bunch of stuff he thinks will look good, basically just dressing him up in different combinations for hours and making him model for him. Ushi likes all the attention, and he likes seeing Kuroo so invested in it, so he indulges him.
Iwa and Bokuto go together, and can usually be found asking the helpers for “just one size bigger?” Or “I’m so sorry, I was trying it on and the button just popped out??”
Daichi is alternating between the pairs, making sure Kuroo won’t make Ushi buy unnecessarily expensive shit “for fashion”, and “helping” Bokuto and Iwa pick clothes, aka oggling their biceps and making sure they buy stuff that fit them /just right/ and aren’t too big.