i-think-i-did-good-for-a-first-time

Journal From Hell: How Long?

Imagine: Dean discovers your journal only to find that you have nightmares about being in Hell, and he never knew that you had died before.


Warnings: Mention of torture and Hell, FEELS, implied death of a character

Word Count: 1088


Author: Taylor Johnson

Link to Fic: (X)

A/N: I hope you enjoy the feels. This is the first time I’ve written something like this, so I hope I did a good job! I’m thinking of making this into a series, but only if you guys want to read more! Requests are open! Send those babes in!!!

Start Reading:

May 26th,

           Another nightmare in Hell last night. It was something I can’t express anymore. The pain, the torture, the blood, it all felt so real. Worse than before. The chains were strangling me and I couldn’t break away, I couldn’t wake up. I don’t know what to do anymore. A deal with the Devil is starting to sound better and better. He was right, I don’t belong here anymore. I died, and Gabriel pulled me out in a desperate attempt to save what we had, but he’s gone, and I’m useless here. I’ve been screwing up hunts left and right; I can’t focus without sleep. I know I should go to the Winchesters for help, but I can’t. They’ll be coming into my room every night to check on me; I’ll only be more of a burden than I already am. I’ll suffer, this is my fault. Just a note to self: consider the crossroads….

6 Facts Meme
Tagged by cressandnep.

  1. My toenails always need to be painted (except for the brief periods when I’m switching between colors). I feel naked if they aren’t.
  2. In my high school drama club, I was voted Most Likely to Make a Derpy Face.
  3. The worst injury I’ve ever had is a sprained wrist the summer before sixth grade. I somehow got the idea into my head that it would be really cool to see how long I could stand on top of a football (American, that is) without holding onto anything. I did it several times without incident, and I got pretty good at it - I was able to do it for longer than a minute - but after that last time, I learned my lesson.
  4. I’ve been a vegetarian for more than half my life, but I will eat almost anything that doesn’t contain meat.
  5. My first word was “dog,” and I think that speaks volumes about me.
  6. I have a hard time falling asleep if I don’t have a stuffed animal to hug.

I’m supposed to tag my ten favorite followers, but I can’t possibly just choose ten, so I tag anyone who reads this and wants to share six facts about themselves!

anonymous asked:

I just finished my first year of college and I didn't get my first kiss and boyfriend until a few months ago (I'm 19). Trust me, all throughout high school I literally lost all hope and thought that I'd be alone forever. Going to college I thought that if I told anyone I'd never had a boyfriend or a first kiss that everyone would think I was some sort of freak. Nobody did and I know other people my age in the same situation. Don't rush and give it time. Good things happen to people who wait :)

For the first time in months [aside from ER visits] I actually got out of the house and got to run some errands. You don’t realize how much you miss grocery shopping until you can’t anymore. All that fresh air and rain, I think I’m gonna crash early. <3

anonymous asked:

I've been watching The Mentalist repeats in the Letterman timeslot, and the one thing that really stands out to me about season 7 is how happy Lisbon is. I honestly think she smiles more this season than she did in the first 6 seasons combined. It's so great to see her so happy, and obviously Jane too, especially after everything he's been through. It makes it especially nice to see Lisbon smile so much because Robin has an absolutely beautiful smile.

I noticed and loved the same thing, Anon. Lisbon is just smiling all the time. And at Jane. And even at his plans, plays and antics. And often so proud of them and him. Even in their worst troubles, she sees his good heart and struggle in all of it and forgives him easily. Just one beautiful thread of a whole beautiful season! Makes me happy, too. <3

babykaiju replied to your post: anonymous asked:Omg what did your…

OHY M GOTG WHAT

Now’s as good a time as any to retell this story, aka How Sarah freyjastears Got Me To Write Property Brothers Erotica

My dear friend/soulmate Sarah and I were in Disney World last May when it rained the first afternoon we were there. Naturally, we turned on the television. To our horror we saw a handsome man talking about buying and renovating houses. It took us a good 20+ minutes to realize there were two of them and that they were twins. Afterward, we spiraled quickly. Our whole lives revolved around these two dick twins and their unbridled sexual chemistry. We would return home from the parks in the afternoon to watch an hour of Property Brothers before dinner. While in Disney World. 

So that brings us to Day 3 of Disney, in Epcot Morocco.  Allow me to set the stage. We are at dinner. The waitress is the most beautiful woman ever to have walked this earth, Iman. We are seated next to a couple on their honeymoon, probably.

Me, quietly: Sarah. I just thought of a really great plot to some Property Brothers porn.

Sarah: (looks at me pointedly)

Me: I can’t.

Sarah: (looks at me pointedly)

Me: I don’t have anything to write on. 

Sarah: (slides me her napkin)

Me: I can’t.

Sarah: (digs pen out of purse, slides it over to me)

Me: Sarah. 

Sarah: It’s how J.K. Rowling got started.

And honestly, in my poor, delirious Property Brothers-addled brain, that made perfect fucking sense. Like, of course, me writing Property Brothers incest erotica was totally fucking equivalent to J.K. Rowling writing goddamn Harry Potter. So I did it. Afterward, I kept the napkin because in no way was I going to throw that out and risk it being read. I put it in my suitcase and carried it home.

Until. I forgot it in the suitcase. And my mom needed that suitcase for a trip. So one day I come home and discover the napkin neatly folded on top of my clothes hamper. Not crumpled, as it had been when I’d thrown it in there. Folded. Almost like someone had opened it to see what it was and then folded it. Almost like my mother, a Catholic school teacher, had seen the filth I had written about two tall brothers trying their best to sell houses. Her face haunts me still.

“And Amber Sweet is addicted to the knife.”

I didn’t have time to buy metal for the medical staples, so I decided to do Amber’s cuts while they were still open and bleeding XD It will take some practice to make these look good, but I think I did alright for my second time ever (first time trying to apply it to my own chest, looking in the mirror). #fanime #fanime2015 #cosplay #specialeffects #specialeffectsmakeup #fxmakeup #ambersweet #ambersweetcosplay #repo #repothegeneticopera

anonymous asked:

my ex and i broke up a few months ago, tried being friends but it failed, so have blocked each other on all social media but we spoke on text the other day for the first time in a while. i am kind of finding myself missing him and wanting to see him/ kiss him again, but he told me he does not love me anymore, and i know in my head i shouldn't but like in my heart i still sort of miss him and despite all the bad stuff he did/that happened idk what to do/how to stop feeling like this !!urgh

it must be super hard but in this instance you have to think about the positives and how he isnt good for you, try investing your time in school/work/friends to take your mind off things  (: x

M!A List~

Follow: Mun must follow around muse for the next 24 hours 

Switch: Mun is muse for the next 4 hours

Storm: Muse is struck by lighting and now thinks (anon specifies who) is their  (anon decides the relation)

Asylum: Muse has multiple personality disorder for (anon decides)

Innocence:  Muse is in a childlike state for the next 12 hours

Law: Muse breaks a law and is stuck in jail for (anon decides)

Santa: Muse believes Santa is real and they’re one of the elves

Drunk: Muse gets drunk and tells the truth all day

Death: Muse believes they’re dying and they can’t be saved by anyone or anything

Childhood: Muse is transported back to their childlike self. She has no memories of her life as it now just whatever age she’s transported back to (can be early teens or little kid state Mun decides)

Repeat: Muse has to keep reliving a past memory as if it’s happening again for (anon decides)

Sadist: Muse has the desire to hurt and torture people and will only feel satisfaction until she does it

Lucid: Muse thinks their in a dream whenever their awake for the next 2 days

Ghost: Muse is followed by the ghost of someone they knew

Corrupted: Muse is easily persuaded into doing things for the next 4 hours

Undeniable: The first person who goes in your ask box is your master for the next 2 days

Haunted:  Muse is stuck with the voices of everyone they’ve ever hurt going on in their head for the next 4 hours

Neverland: For the next 24 hours you believe everything around you is Neverland and the only way you can stay is by stealing Tinkerbell’s fairy dust.

Mad as a Hatter: Muse is going insane and thinks that the Queen of Hearts is after them

Fatal Attraction: You’ve been cursed with the deadly kiss,you’ll die unless you’re one true love kisses your lips catch is, if they’re not ,your true love they’ll be passed on the curse of the deadly kiss

Disney: Muse thinks they’re a Disney character for the next 2 hours  (Mun decides which)

Frustration: Muse thinks they can’t do anything right and everything they try at anything it falls apart. Every time someone says it’s okay or sorry to them they start to cry of frustration. 

Most shinee fans have fanned over Minho’s body, this is not the first time we’ve seen his body [ex: to the beautiful you, sw3, sherlock photoshoot, ect]. Where’s the whole “he’s uncomfortable” thing coming from, or thagt he was “forced” to take his shirt off? Where’d you hear that? Fan account? Smh. Did he say that? Was it cause of his face (expression)?,cause that’s not a good source either. I truely believe that minho knows he’s looks good, and is okay with his body. If he’s not, then i don’t think its much of my business, but as fans if you feel he’s uncomfortable then you should cheer him on and compliment him whenever he does go shirtless. It’s not hard. I just still wanna know why whenever minho does something it’s never good enough for you guys, you’re always making excuses. It’s either hes “too cute” or “too sexy”. Leave him alone! Damn.

anonymous asked:

ya know what fucks me up?? fate wanted them to meet so badly that they were in the same spot NUMEROUS TIMES before x-factor and then when that day came fate was just like "today's the day" and can you imagine what went through louis head when he finally seen H?? like what was he thinking? i just want to know. two of the most beautiful people get to love each other everyday and that's so cool. fate did good that day, i think.

I can imagine Barbara Walters interviewing then again and asking “how did you feel the first you saw each other?” And Louis launches into “Well you see Barbara, I’ve always been a big believer in fate. Did you know we were at the same gig…”

I’m trying to get out of bagginshield hell, stop thinking about bagginshield, stop shipping them so hard. I’m basically trying to do anything that would get me out of that trap I stepped in by watching BOTFA for the first time. But it’s fucking impossible. I mean, even if you think about the happy times or fluffy AUs the REAL ending is still on your mind. No matter what I do, I remember everything that happened. The good, the bad, those who survived and those THAT DID FUCKING NOT. And remembering how happy they were (for the short time) is even worse because you know how happy they would have been if EVERYONE HAD SURVIVED. 

TAUGHT MY FIRST CLASS TONIGHT! It’s surreal to think I would be doing this but I am! I’ll be teaching Women on Weights for the next four weeks. It’s a foundations class on weights associated with the weight room. I think it went really really well! I did in intro for the first part then followed it up with a quick warm up. Then a fit test see where their start point is. We then did a a dumbbell workout. Didn’t have much time did 2x12 of bicep curls, triceps kick backs, chest press, reverse fly, weighted squats and weighted donkey kicks. 💪🏽😅 I got good feedback and I’m excited for the next four weeks! THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS INSPIRED ME TO GET TO THIS POINT. I’m very happy to have so many fit and inspirational people in my life! both in real everyday life and on social media (tumblr and Instagram) also great coworkers, friends and family who pushed me to this point. Thank you soooo much! 😘❤️❤️❤️😘 #fitness #weightloss #fitblr #newjourney #ymca #they #healthy #happy #yay #fit

I’m a little late to the Chicago Spring Half race recap party but I’ve been in full on painting mode since we left Chicago. I finally have all the floor trim painted that now I can paint the walls.

robert-cal - I’m in a townhome so I only have daylight from the front and back of my home so even though I’m really drawn to the Gristmill Greige, I think I’m going to have to go Balanced Beige.(good choice! @elkay723)

So back to the race, I think I figured out how I managed to pull off a PR even though I only ran a handful of times in April/May. My first half was Rock the Parkway here in KC in 2014 which I ran in 2:00:23. Again, not great training for that race either but better than I did this year.  The only difference being I walked through the aid stations in that half and this year I ran through them. Once I start walking it really gets difficult to get going again. So I’m guessing that I shaved at least 2 minutes off my overall time by not walking.

Nothing like a PR based on positive splits. Those first 3 miles were tough. I was trying to hold a 8:50 pace but quickly saw that goal start slipping away. Right about that 9 mile mark I checked my total time and did the math that maybe I might still make it under 2 hours. I kept trying to get back below a 9:00 min pace but just couldn’t make it there.

As Chris and Lindsay both mentioned, the two way traffic did cause some congestion in a few places. I often had to make a surge to get around packs of runners all going the same pace but spread out in such a manner that I couldn’t easily get around with the oncoming runners.

By mile 11 I really started to push myself to focus in on crossing that finish under 2 hours. I kept eyeing runners ahead of me to reel in and pass.  Thank you elkay723 for giving us that head’s up that the stretch to the finish was a little wonky! Once I saw the alley I knew we were close. We ran under Lake Shore Dr, over speed bumps, through an opening in a fence, then up a ramp, round a corner onto a city street (finally!) and over yet another speed bump rounding a corner. You could tell the race organizers struggled to make the 13.1 course distance without running public roads.  

I was more than happy with my time, the free race photos and beer tent were nice perks.  That said, I don’t know if I would make this another racecation. If I lived in downtown Chicago I would probably run it again just because I could train on the path. I would run every day if I could have those kind of views!

I don’t post very many pictures but a few of the race pics actually turned out pretty good! #GoHawks!

3

Imagine: 

James: “Okay, so now to the real business. Harry, you just recently announced that you and your long time girlfriend, Y/N, are now engaged.” 

Harry: “Yeah. We got in engaged a few months ago actually, but yeah, we just announced it to everyone.” He nods. 

James: “Well, first off, congratulations.” He starts. “But secondly, I do need to ask you something Did you-” 

Harry: “No.” He says quickly. 

James: “Hang on, let me finish the question.” He laughs. “Did you ever think- Did ever cross your mind that this might not be a good idea. I mean marriage is a huge commitment.” 

Harry: “No.” He says again. 

James: “Not even for one spilt second?” He laughs. “I mean, come on, there had to be a time where in your head, where you asked yourself if you were ready to be with one woman for the rest of your life especially being as young as you two are and the fact that you could probably have any girl out there.” 

Harry: “I mean.. No.” He says. “It’s just one of those things that I’m just sure about. Y/N and I have been together for over 3 years and I can’t see myself without her in my life. I think when people talk about someone being too young to get married, I don’t think it’s more of the fact that it’s because they’re young and can’t be in love or something, but more of that people at a young age, you might not be mature enough to make that decision of being with someone for the rest of your life or mature enough to deal with the outcomes of marriage. For some people that might be the case, but for us, it’s not. We’re ready for this and we know that we want to be together, so why wait another 5 years or so, when people think we’re “old” enough, when we can do it right now. So, No, I never thought to myself that this was a bad idea or that I wasn’t ready for this. If I had, I would have never put that ring on her finger.” 

James: “That is absolutely beautiful, Harry, but now we must go to a commercial break and we’ll hear the true off screen answer.” He jokes causing the boys, including Harry to laugh.  

outpour time.
I’m tired. empty. chained.
I’ve been noticing more and more how much I depend on people. what people think of me tends to be what I think of me. whenever I feel like I’ve failed in some area it’s almost always because I think other people think I’ve failed, I think first “oh wow I can’t believe I said that, I wonder what they think of me” and “oh I hope I did good at that, I hope they’re thinking good of me”.
and I’m exhausted. I want to be free from expectations, to walk in confidence of the Lord, to be a bondservant to Christ not a slave to other’s opinions.

I need my chains of slavery broken.

and they are, they are, He’s set me free.

but after being chained for so long, I’m the one binding myself to my chains again, because I was comfortable in them. I at least knew how to walk in them.
but things are changing, and I don’t know what it means to walk in freedom.
I’m still trying to learn how to walk the way I was always made to. still learning to be comfortable in my skin, in who He’s made me.
still learning what spots are dirt to be cleaned off and birthmarks to be kissed.

I don’t know what this journey will look like, but I can’t wait to see who I really am supposed to be.

Jesus, Jesus, won’t you keep making me.

I’m finally getting around to trying to photograph the stuff I did for my undergrad thesis show. I feel like I’ve gotten better since I did this, which is a good feeling! At first it was going to be cover art for Hookyland but I think I’ll make something else when that time rolls around. Anyway, that’s why there’s all that dead space at the bottom - was leaving room for a title and other text. Chomp.

As for The Fall, Jamie got really into the part. The first time he was over in Belfast filming, I think I only saw him about twice in six months because he really did lock himself away to get into the role. I watched the first two series and they were really good, but I haven’t a clue what happens next.
—  Jim Dornan about Jamie Dornan in Belfast Telegraph
For as long as I can remember,
I thought you would be the one
I’d think of when I was high
or drunk
or fucked up in any way.
I took a hit for the first time
And you never even crossed my mind.
Instead, I thought of a boy with mocha skin
and hair as dark as mine. 
Thin arms and a sweet composure.
I tried to force myself to think of you
But it burned more than the smoke traveling down my throat.
Instead I thought of someone who stole my necklace
Because I told him it would be good luck.
I took another hit
To see if it would clear him from my head
But all it did was make the image clearer. 
And even now, thinking about you makes my head hurt.
Thinking about him makes me feel safe.
—  His Name Starts With C. Naty A. 20150524