a short KZ syndrom note because someone writes psychology in aph poland tag
- KZ Syndrom is a polish/german name for survivor syndrome and PTSD caused by concentration camps
- someone described it in 60s, way too late to help anyone
- experiences from camps influenced lives of victims but also next generations raised by them
- they were people living in horror for rest of their lives, fearing hunger and pain will come back
- they were not able to create relationship with the other person anymore. Their feeling and empathy was irrevocably gone
- fear of german language or any uniforms was normal for victims
- the most visible was collecting food, hiding bread under sheets, carrying it in pockets for rest of life; but it wasn’t only food, just any objects, even trash
- hypermnesia. No fear of death or exoggerated fear. Full range of disabillities and phobias
- children of the survivors also suffered KZ syndrome and most of its symptoms even if born after the war
Dean swears too much. He laughs too loud and he eats enough for two grown men. His hands are calloused and rough, and the smile he gives women are charming yet practiced. He has been in too many fights, too many brawls - and he treats his sleek black car better than he treats some people. He is strong enough to crawl out of his own grave. He is strong enough to speak his own mind. He is not strong enough to let his brother go. But he is gentle and kind, and he is great with children. He may not be the fastest reader but he has read Vonnegut and the Bible. He may not be good at talking about feelings, but he listens.
And Castiel loves him.
Dean drinks too much. He drowns his sorrows in liquor like his impala guzzles gasoline. He listens to classic rock and he sings along with a smile. A real smile. One that reaches his eyes and makes the corners crinkle. He is also tone deaf. He pretends he hates hugs and he pretends he hates shorts. He does hate running, though he is faster than his brother who jogs every morning. He likes his coffee black and he will mock anyone who doesn’t, but he will still make everyone a mug just how they like it without being asked. He likes killing monsters. He loves the feeling of slicing a vampires head off - it gives him an adrenaline rush. But sometimes he will lay alone at night wondering what that makes him.
And Castiel loves him.
Dean hurts too much. There’s a constant ache in his chest, and sometimes Dean can’t breathe. He doesn’t talk about it, but Castiel knows. He yells at Castiel, says he doesn’t know anything. He threatens to kick him out again with hard lines set to his jaw, but there’s a sadness that softens the glare in his eyes. He stays up late with Sam researching for the new case in Utah or Ontario or Sioux Falls or where ever it may be. And sometimes in the early hours of the morning, well after he has bid Sam goodnight, he ends up in Castiel’s room. He tells Castiel he doesn’t know why he is in there, and he lowers his eyes in shame because he knows he can’t keep doing this. But Castiel takes his hands and welcomes him into the bed with what Dean refuses to call cuddling.
Dean kisses gently. Out in the hunting world Dean Winchester is a man to be feared. In the safety and comfort of Castiel’s bed, Dean is free to be himself. Castiel makes love to him, like he does most nights when Dean crawls into bed with him. He touches Dean the way he likes and smiles against Dean’s neck when he quietly moans. Dean tucks his tongue into the corner of his mouth and lets out soft breathy noises when he comes. Sometimes, after sex, he cries. He tries not to let Castiel see by pressing his face into the pillow. Castiel wraps himself around Dean and whispers it’s okay you’re okay and they tangle their legs together and Dean kisses Castiel’s throat before they fall asleep.
Dean tries to tell Castiel how he feels. When he thinks Castiel is asleep he will stroke his hair away from his face and kiss his forehead. He will say you know, right? You gotta know by now, Cas. How I - how I feel about this, about you. You gotta know. And maybe Dean will never say those three words out loud, but he says it in the morning with his eyes when he watches Castiel wake up. He says it with his quiet smile. He says it with his hands. With his touch.
Chang Ge Xing is a Chinese webcomic by Xia Da that is also published in magazines in China and Japan.
It is set during the Tang Dynasty (618-907 CE) in China and Central Asia and follows the adventures of Li Chang Ge, a princess of the ruling Li family, who sets out on a quest for revenge after her uncle kills her family and usurps the throne.
Okay, that’s neat. Now why should I read it?
Alright, here goes. First of all….
Chang Ge Xing weaves a wonderful story about revenge, personal growth, and the effect history can have on the people living in it. The writing holds a deep compassion for its characters and for people in general. Both the protagonists and antagonists are multi-layered characters with valid goals and points-of-view.
Xia Da is a goddess of plotting. The storyline travels its way across China and Central Asia with twists and turns that are entirely unexpected, but also clear and well-executed. Chang Ge’s journey has an excellent mix of adventure, action, character drama, and intrigue.
Li Chang Ge:
Chang Ge is a competent badass with the mind of a political chess-master. More importantly, however, she is human and thus very capable of both triumph and failure. Aspects of her personality (such as her skill at lying and keeping track of multiple identities) can be both the key to her success and her most fatal flaw.
She is above all else a (covertly) compassionate person.
Sun is a general of the Eastern Turkic Khaganate (think central Asian nomadic kingdom) and the adopted son of the Great Khan. He is a straight-forward, loyal guy with a deep dislike of intrigue. Sun starts off as basically a jerk (large active armies are rarely enlightened places), but grows into a thoughtful, mature person.
He likes to make impulsive decisions, to the distress of his subordinates.
Mimi is a young Uighur woman who Chang Ge saves from execution. She hides a tragic past behind her care-free demeanor. There is more to this gal than meets the eye.
Also she and Chang Ge are kind of a thing.
Mujin is Ashina Sun’s very put-upon subordinate. He is very organized and observant. He and Sun have known each other since they were kids.
Qin is an old trickster who pledges himself to Chang Ge’s cause. He has served in shadows of many lords over the course of his life.
She is the renowned mistress of a Daoist temple that Chang Ge visits. She is very wise and acts as a mentor towards Chang Ge.
Ashina She Er:
He is a clever general in the Turkish army and the nephew of the Great Khan. She Er intends connive and manipulate his way to the Turkish throne.
He and Sun are enemies.
Li Shimin/Emperor Taizong:
Li Shimin is Chang Ge’s uncle and the object her revenge.
There are also a whole bunch more characters that I could wax poetic about, but I’m trying to keep this post at an acceptable length.
The art in this series is incredible. It’s super detailed and lovely.
Seriously, Xia Da must have sold her soul to attain this kind of talent. She is a god-level artist.
Chang Ge takes place in the background of real historical events such as the Xuanwu gate incident and the uighur/khitan/xueyantuo rebellion against the Turks in 627. The series pays close attention to historical accuracy in both plot and setting. Actual historical figures are included in the narrative alongside the fictional characters.
At the same time, Xia Da knows how to balance fiction vs. fact. She keeps the conflicts clear and concise while also throwing the occasional bone to history nerds such as myself.
So yeah, this comic is incredible and you should go read it.
Okay, first before we start, let’s please give my poor pens a big round of applause bc poor things I thought I would lose them on the way.
This is the phanart i made for the phanfic The blind boy by jilliancares (which if you are part of the phandom and you haven’t read. Just. Why. Go. Now.) There were so many more parts I wanted to drawwwwww, I actually had more but after a tiny accident in my kitchen (kids, don’t eat while drawing), well, stuff happened, but i really want to draw moreeee. Who knows maybe i’ll do a part two.
hEY jILLIAN. I managed to finishhhhhh. Wuhuuuuu. Pls don’t stare at it too much or else the mistakes are going to reveal themselves. Jk stare at it as long as u want hujujujuuuu. Getting to the important bit, I LOVE YOU AND YOUR STORY WAS AWSOME AND I CAN’T WAIT TO READ MISPLACED (im saving up the chapters, why do i do this to myself) AND JUST LET ME TELL YOU THAT I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE AND sorry if i let you down with the drawings I TRIED MY BEST. I LOV U