ANYWAYS YALL BACK TO ME! STORYTIME! Remember that guy that I s*xted last week which was just the biggest mess? And Remember how i’ve been scared to see him on campus after telling him I didnt wanna talk to him anymore and ghosting him? And how he texted my phone late at night for 3 days before giving up? WELL today I was coming out of my LAST CLASS on my way to go meet up with my friend to go home and as soon as I came out of the building, I’m on my phone and he was coming out of the building across from me and I saw him and just looked back and my phone and walked away, nervous because this was my first time seeing him after avoiding him! So he was like “HEY! WHATS UP!?” and I just called back like “hey” and kept walking away (mind you, we’re like .. far apart so we’re yelling across this empty quad). Then he’s like “WHAT YOU BEEN UP TO? WHERE YOU GOING?” And I’m like “Nothing. Im going to meet my friend.” And then I just walked away like leaving that side of campus and then while I’m walking across the bridge to the other side of campus I hear him running behind me calling “YO YO YO YO YO YO!!!!!” and I’m like ooooooooooooh my goddddddddd girl! And Im like “what” and he’s like “why’re you being like that. like.. shady.” and Im like “im not.” and hes like “you don’t wanna hit my phone anymore or party?” and im like ‘no.’ and hes like ‘WHY NOT?’ and im like “i told you…..” and through this im like ignoring him and looking at my phone continuing to walk and he was just like.. “okay” and walked away

Let’s pretend we were kids, 6 years old and free. When the reason for our tears was sleeping too early and not because our hearts were broken too many times. Back when we’d play tag and not get played. Back when words like love came easy. Back when it didn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth. Back when I believe in love at first sight and that kisses were something special. Back when I believed in true love. Let’s play pretend. Pretend that last night never happened. That you didn’t break my heart. That I never saw you with her. Kissing her like you did me. Let’s play pretend. Pretend these tears aren’t falling down my cheeks. Pretend you still love me. Pretend that you still care. Pretend you’re sorry. Let’s play pretend.

Finally uploading this ol’ watercolour i did last summer. Mabels doing what I usually do every Monday night- and gawking at hot, greased-up centaur men.
Gravity falls has been one of my fave shows to come out in a really long time. And It really couldn’t have ended in a better way.  Ill miss it…but Im thankful its so good I can revisit it and its still as fantastic as when i first saw it.

I have a lot of things to say about Minncon, but first of all, I want to talk about Jared.

I know he made a post today that was contradictory and a lot of people may think he’s an asshole. But lemme tell you a story that nobody told me, I saw it with my own eyes, and made me realize even more what an unique person Jared Padalecki is.

Last night, Minncon was ending and Jared was finishing his autos, he was last as usual and there was barely nobody around anymore. We were outside the room waiting for him to leave, so we could see him one last time. He finally emerges, and we wave and stuff, and he immediately goes hug the girls closest to him. He walks away , I yell that we love him, and he yells back that he loves us more. But that’s not what I want to tell you.

When I thought he had left already, I saw that Clif and other security had stopped, so I went to check what was happening, and I came to a scene of Jared crouched down beside a girl who was seating against a wall. The girl was desperately crying, and Jared was comforting her. He talked to her, he hugged her, he took his time. That went on for about 5 minutes. He made everyone wait just so he could talk to the girl. Then he went on his way. That touched me deeply, to see how much he cares. There were no cameras, nobody was around, it was only him, the real Jared. He didn’t have to do that, he could just walk past her but he didnt. That was not the actor, that was the person. Nobody would know he did that if I wasn’t making a post about it, because he doesn’t have to show off. That’s who he is. And I know it’s true because i was there.

My point is, Jared has flaws. I won’t applaud or agree with everything he does. He’s human after all. But I have never met in my life such a caring and loving person. He was so kind to me the both times I met him (I’ll talk about my autograph later), he has such a power within him, that I don’t understand how can someone hate him. Meeting Jared in person was a turning point for me, I already loved him for many years, but now i love the person Jared, the one who cares, who looks at you with the kindest eyes in the whole world and makes you feel important. The one who detours from his path to comfort a crying fan.

I’ve seen firsthand how other actors act when a fan says a simple hi, and how uncaring they could be. But not Jared. You can say a million things about him, but if you hate him, you’re wasting your time. You are missing on one of the most special people in this planet.

Jared, thanks for being who you are, I love you so much I can’t even put into words right now.

1. Last weekend I almost called you but I didn’t want to bother you and my hands were shaking too hard to dial anyway.
2. I kissed a boy I met a few weeks ago. I swallowed my tears when he wasn’t looking and when I showed my mum a picture of the two of us, she told me he looks a lot like you.
3. I fell asleep on my best friend’s couch and she told me I was crying in my sleep the way I used to when I missed you.
4. Last night I was walking alone and the air felt like it did the first time you kissed me. When everything was cold except for us and cool air was hitting my teeth because I couldn’t stop smiling. I almost walked into a damn pole.
5. I was in the shops today and I saw a keychain with your initial on it. I’ve been squeezing it in my hand so hard it’s leaving marks on my skin. There are still marks on my heart from the night you left, I’ve stopped thinking they’ll go away. Battle scars I call them.
6. I watched your favorite movie 5 times today.
7. The boy I sit next to in English smells like you.
8. I was just calling to see how your mum was doing.
9. I stopped drinking ice-tea because it tastes too much like the days we spent together. I also stopped sleeping.
10. You left some stuff in my pockets, maybe you could come pick them up and we could go for a milkshake or something?
11. I play your favorite song a lot. I don’t even like it.
—  alannahclairem11 ways I tried to tell you I really miss you
The quiet feminism of Jurassic World

When I saw Jurassic World for the first time last night, a sneaking suspicion rose in me.  Through a set of random circumstances, I happened to see it again tonight with a different friend, and my suspicions were confirmed upon a careful second viewing.

This movie is quietly, subtly, unostentatiously feminist.  It’s true that there aren’t a wealth of female characters (not counting the dinosaurs) but the film finds a way to sneak it in (there aren’t actually a lot of major human characters, period - but the film also includes a pretty healthy proportion of POC among them).  I know there are critiques to be made, but after two viewings, this was the impression I was left with.

First, the low-hanging fruit.  It passes the Bechdel test, several times over.  But going further, at no point do any women discuss men at all, except if they’re talking to a man about himself, which is a valid time for discussion on that topic, I think.

Second, the movie gets some mileage out of men being ridiculous.  Teenage Zach is poked fun of for his habit of staring slack-jawed at pretty teen girls at every opportunity.  As for those teen girls?  Are they given the usual portrayal as giggly and silly?  They are not.  They smile back but are obviously a bit “Whatever, dude, you’re cute and all but I got dinosaurs to see.”  Near the film’s climax Lowery tries to go in for the dramatic parting kiss, but is delightfully shot down.  Why didn’t his crush ever talk about her boyfriend?  “Duh, I’m at work,” is her response.  She is a professional, leaving her personal life out of the workplace, while he is living out rom-com fantasies in his own head.  Those boys, so emotional, you just can’t trust them with the really important stuff, amirite?  They might fall in love with you and be all distracting!

Third, let’s talk about Claire Dearing.  She is obviously a thirtysomething woman in a very demanding job.  In most movies this would be something that’d be addressed or become a point of conflict or at least attack by less likeable characters, but not here.  At no point is her gender (or her age) referenced when other characters deal with her in this capacity.  You could swap out her character for a fifty year old man and you wouldn’t have to change a word of dialogue (except when referring to the heels, more on that later).  Her gender is that much of a non-issue.  At no point does any character, even the villainous ones, use a gendered slur with her or call her by an infantilizing gendered name (like “sweetie” or “honey.”)  Her gender is never once used as a way for another character to tear her down.

And if you thought she was a damsel in distress…watch it again.  She is never, at any point, rescued by anyone.  She is absolutely in distress, yes, but no more so than everybody else being pursued by dinosaurs.  At no time does she ever require direct rescuing (apart from the general situation of “dinosaurs on the loose, we all need to be rescued somehow”).  In fact, the one and only time she and Owen kiss, it’s after he’s swept off his feet by her rescuing him.  There are practically little cartoon hearts in his eyes when she helps him off the ground.  At the end of the movie, when the shit is really going down, Owen is pretty much entirely ineffectual and is relegated to the typically-female role of “hunker down with the kids and try not to die” while it’s Claire who goes to free the T. Rex.

Okay, now for Claire and Owen.  First, right off the bat they’re doing a little trope subversion.  Claire is the buttoned-down, by-the-book administrator who doesn’t appreciate the wonder of the world, a role that would typically be assigned to a man, while Owen is the brother-nature respect-the-living-creatures raptor whisperer.  He is practically a Manic Pixie Dream Boy, here to teach Claire about the beauty of dinosaurs and respect for life and miracles, or something.  I won’t venture an opinion about whether he teachers her the beauty of his ass in those pants.

Speaking of, this movie is full of female gaze.  Bryce Dallas Howard’s assets are never really highlighted.  There are no lingering shots of her chest, no up-angle views of her ass or cleavage.  She’s not wearing a whole lot for some of the movie, but the camera never lingers on her in a sexualizing way.  Her skirt gets torn almost up to her hip but you hardly notice because there are no shots that emphasize it.  Pratt, on the other hand, is practically being caressed.  In their first scene together when he’s prowling around his bungalow in a tight henley, the camera is constantly following him, sliding up and down his body.  People in the theater were actually chuckling a little at how blatant it was.  Meanwhile in that same scene, she’s got a boxy blazer over her shoulders to hide her as much as possible.

Which leads me to the most-discussed point of feminist critique of this movie: those heels.  In case you’re reading this having not seen the movie, she begins the film in business attire including heels, and stays in them the entire film, because the shit goes down fast and there’s no time for wardrobe changes.

I am convinced that this is on purpose.  I now believe that this is the filmmakers’ deliberate elbow-jab at the trope of turning women in action movies into rippling combat-boot-clad badasses, which should not be required for a woman in an action film to be useful and be a participant.  It’s like that old saying about Ginger Rogers - she did everything Fred Astaire did but backwards and in heels.  Claire does everything Owen does, but she does it in heels.  And it’s never used to make her into a joke with her silly girl shoes.  She never minces around in her heels like she’s afraid of getting them dirty, from the first time she’s outside normal heel-wearing environments she’s striding around in those heels as if they give her no pause at all.  She never trips or goes down or lags behind - most of the time she’s running faster than Owen is.  It’s even made a joke of once - as they race out of the old visitor’s center, he pauses and turns back to help her down the stairs in her heels but she blows right past him, running full out.  I became convinced that this was intentional at the point when she’s leading the T. Rex out of her paddock and into battle, flare in hand, and there’s a shot of her feet, outrunning a dinosaur…in those heels.  She didn’t have time to change, or seek out better footwear.  Finding her nephews was more important, so girlfriend did what she had to do, heels or not.  

Because you don’t have to be Ellen Ripley to pull your weight in an action film.  You don’t have to suit up like Sarah Connor or be hard as nails.  You can have emotion, you can scream because omg velociraptor, you can be wearing clothes that were fine for business meetings but not so great for jungle escapades, and you can lack extensive knowledge of modern weaponry - but you can still try, you can still run, you can still fight and you can still save everybody, including the former Navy man who needs to just stay down and make sure that fine ass doesn’t incur any damages.

And you can do it all wearing heels, because shit, sister, not everybody keeps a spare pair of Nikes in their purse.  Now get off that island, make the company get you a suite at a posh hotel, throw Owen down on a bed and show him how much you’ve come to appreciate the beauty of natural things.

But keep the heels on.

1. If the human skin replenishes ever 27 days, why do I still feel your touch on every part of my body?
2. You told me that you wanted to go to the Caribbean and that you had a dream that we went together. Maybe we will see each other there and it will be like meeting each other for the first time.
3. I don’t believe in God but every night I pray to him to bring you back to me.
4. I saw a buttercup growing on my lawn today. It made me think of you and it made my stomach hurt.
5. Most days I try to forget that you exist because that’s easier than admitting that there’s someone like you out there.
6. I wish I could tell you I love you.
7. You called me last night and told you that you had signed up for a tour. I asked you why you called me and you told me that you felt like you should, that you wanted me to know. How the hell am I supposed to deal with my life if I lose you?
8. Last night, you told me that I was a butterfly. That I was worth it and that you wanted me. All of me. Why don’t we just stop playing head games and make up our minds? We both know that we can’t live without each other because if we could, we wouldn’t of had that conversation.
9. Yesterday would’ve been our 7 months. Maybe that’s why we were both so upset.
10. You’ve texted me on the first of every month. I never realized that you did until now. I should’ve known you wouldn’t forget, I never gave you enough credit.
11. You’re my buttercup and I’m your butterfly. How fitting.

11 things I realized this morning


my experiences with the signs
  • (i saw one like this and i thought it was really cool so here you go)
  • aries:using a hookah for the first time, driving around at night illegally, blowing shit up, wrestling, drinking together, family
  • taurus:jamming out to our favorite songs in a traveling car at night, really comforting hugs, longterm flirtationships, constant snapchatting, the band Say Anything
  • gemini:talking about everyone and everything together, going to a comicon, being introduced to a billion people, loud but friendly voices, talking shit
  • cancer:long phone calls, making lasting friendships, complaining together, driving in the car listening to their horrible music taste
  • leo:wild eyes, deep talks with indie music playing in the background, surface level friends, staying up all night laughing and watching movies, watching anime, begin taught that fairies exist, listening to them talk about their passions
  • virgo:staying up all night having heartfelt talks, sweet laughs, excessive use of puns,
  • libra:sitting around singing songs late into the night, pretty eyes, not begin sure how they feel about you, being encouraged to show yourself off, relaxing but fun parties, different but alright music tastes, talent show winner
  • scorpio:deep, deep talks, feeling like someone finally understands what you're going through, drug addiction, a glamorous lifestyle, that comfortable feeling that you only get when you're in the presence of someone who feels you, like you've been friends for many lifetimes
  • sagittarius:making tons of new friends, that funny feeling you get in your stomach when you're doing something you wouldn't normally either good or bad, standing up for yourself for the first time, losing a friend for the first time, living life at a ten, feeling connected to the ocean, your best childhood friends watching them grow up without you by their side, playing soccer in the rain, surfing
  • capricorn:Skype conversations, sweet laughs, talking about our mutual love of unique foods, dying your hair vibrant colors all the time, that comforting feeling you get when someone you love says they love you back, the feeling you get when you finally are allowed to relax in the presence of others
  • aquarius:spooning someone new all night, light flirting even though you know they're taken, glances across a table that show you both were thinking the same thing but didn't say it out loud, seeing a meteor shower for the first time, comfortable silences while riding in the car, finally feeling like someone gets your need to leave home
  • pisces:showoffs, good friendships that can go wrong really easily, super clingy friends, having dreams that predict things, fighting but then making up, theatre, obliviousness, smoking weed, having lots of wild friends

Tomorrow night Jody Mills returns to Supernatural!

We’ve done a lot this season to support Cas, and there’s always ongoing support for the brothers, but I feel like Jody Mills deserves a twitter event just for her.

Why? Well, first off, on a show with a pretty poor track record for female characters Jody has survived since season 5, which is amazing in and of itself.

But also, she’s a total BAMF. Last time we saw her she got stabbed while tied to a table, managed to escape her bindings, pulled the stake out of her own body, and killed a Goddess.

Hell, the first time we saw her, in the aftermath of losing her son and her husband, she helped fight off a hoard of zombies.

Like, really, is there anything Sheriff Mills can’t do?

And that’s not even getting into how incredible Kim Rhodes, the actress who plays her, is.

So if you’re on twitter, tomorrow night join me in trying to trend #HunterJody

Let’s show @kimrhodes4real and the Supernatural PTB just how much we love our badass lady sheriff!


October 3rd, 2014 to October 3rd, 2015❤️

@taylorswift a year ago yesterday you invited me into your home because you wanted to meet me. As you played us your album you smiled at me and looked right at me during Out Of The Woods as I sat there and listened to it for the very first time. Last night, exactly a year later, you looked at me, pointed at me and giggled when you saw me freak out and you managed to make me feel just as special as you did a year ago. I love you so much Taylor. Thank you for an unforgettable night and for making October 3rd so memorable again this year. Love you forever and ever❤️

Black Panther/T’Challa

A friend of mine, Brandon Delaney, just wrote this on Facebook:

“I went into Civil War last night, completely unaware of the profound effect that seeing Black Panther on the big screen would have on me after the fact. I looked up in a movie theater, full of people, and saw a Superhero that looked like me. Not a sidekick, not some secondary or tertiary character, but a fully fleshed out, fully developed Superhero. He was not goofy, nor the loud mouthed comic relief. He was a man of thoughtful execution, intelligence, and cultural pride that I’ve never seen portrayed on that level before. For the first time in my life, I walked out of a movie, and didn’t feel enjoyment. I felt empowered as a man of color. And for that, Kevin Feige, and the people at Marvel Studios, I tip my hat to you.” @superheroesincolor

Once again it happened. 

I woke up, turned on my phone to check the time and saw lots of messages from my Canadian/American friends asking me if I was safe, and first I didn’t understand. 

Then, it struck me. 

Paris, november, the 13th. 

I got the same messages. 

Last night, I went to bed quite early. The fireworks were canceled in my city because of the wind, it could have started a fire. So we canceled our plans to go out. Thinking we would to do it today. 

But how can we celebrate anything today after what happened in Nice ? 

Once again, I woke up. And I felt terror.

I go to Nice often because I live near this beautiful city. I walked on La promenade des Anglais. Watched beautiful sunsets there. Ate icecreams. Tried to tan right there. On those beautiful beaches. I laughed. I lived. 

Here. See. Look. 

This is peaceful. 

That’s how I want to remember this city. This place. 


I don’t want to wake up and feel like this anymore. 

I don’t want to feel numb. 

I don’t want to think this is normal. 

I don’t want to get used to it. 

I never did post this photo op from VegasCon, so I figured it was high time.  Some of you may remember this story from JaxCon.  I had originally planned to do something else with my retake, but I still needed a prop.  Some friends and I were making a Walmart run our first night in Vegas for snacks and things, and I was looking for the prop while there.  Instead, we saw these fun noodles, and then we saw these cowboy hats, and I was torn.  I texted @laelia-camui with my dilemma, and she asked if they had googly eyes.  They did, and what can I say?  Decisions were made.  I leave it to you to decide whether said decisions were good or bad.

When it came time for the photo, I had to go last, since mine was a retake.  I juggled my armful of props in the line and tried not to feel like an idiot or lose my nerve.  When it was my turn, I held out the hats and the noodles to Jensen and Misha.  “Sorry, guys,” I said with a decidedly unapologetic grin, “but you’re cowboys, and these are your steeds.  I’m the bar wench.”

They grabbed their props with no fuss, we posed, Chris snapped the photo—and that’s when things became weird.  If any of you have done photo ops before, you know how as soon as you’ve finished, you’re shuffled along quickly in an effort to keep things moving.  That didn’t happen here.  There was a moment where all three of us just stood there without moving, in complete silence.  I could practically hear the wheels turning in their minds as they struggled to process what had just happened.  Finally, Misha broke the silence with a little chuckle.  “I think we’ve reached a new….” but whether low or high he didn’t say.  He just held his hand up to indicate some undefined level.

“Yeah, I don’t think these look like horses,” Jensen interjected bluntly, still holding onto the fun noodle between his legs and leaving no room for confusion as to what he thought it did look like.

“It was late at night at Walmart,” I said, shrugging.  “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Jensen laughed heartily, and I thanked him for being a good sport and gave him a quick hug.  Misha’s attention had been stolen by Chris, but I patted him on the shoulder in thanks, collected my props, and left.

Later during autos, I thanked them both again for putting up with my silly fun noodles.  Misha said emphatically, “I liked those noodles."  The photo was only out in time to show Jensen, and he threw back his head and laughed again when I showed him the photo and thanked him.  They’re both so good-natured and lovely.

Watch AVPM with us this Thursday!

“I think co-writing this book was probably the most successful thing I’ve ever done.  5 performances of the show (we added one last minute) were completely sold out and then some.  I saw the show for the first time opening night and was completely blown away.  Every actor was absolutely incredible, and there are no words for the music.  We brought so much joy to so many people.  Maybe the most ‘full’ I’ve ever felt.”

                                          – Brian Holden’s diary journal, April 14th, 2009

I’ve been going through a lot of old notebooks as we get ready for StarKid Takes Manhattan.  It’s been an unbelievable 5 years, but there was maybe no greater time than when we first did A Very Potter Musical (or Harry Potter the Musical as we originally called it).  It was the light in an otherwise bleak post-grad life!    

We want to really get into the spirit of Throwback Thursday, so we’re going to watch A Very Potter Musicalthis Thursday, Mar. 20th at 8pm Central and we want you to join us!  Apparently you can watch a YouTube playlist on a Google Hangout, and given our amazing track record with that technology, we thought we’d give it a try!  Even if it’s a train wreck, it’s probably the closest thing to a DVD commentary you’ll get!  

Tickets are still on sale for StarKid Takes Manhattan! Get 'em now!