i-ruin-everything

I destroy everything I touch. So when you ask me why I don’t want to try, that’s why. Because I love and care for you too much to ruin you too.
I’m sorry that I’m over dramatic. I’m sorry that I’ll never be what you want me to be. I’m sorry I’m not good enough. I’m sorry I’m an inconvenience to you. I’m sorry that I annoy you by asking “stupid” questions. I’m sorry I ruin everything. I’m sorry for being sorry. I don’t mean to do any of these things. The very last thing I want to do is lose you. In the end after no matter how hard I try, I will still lose you.
—  brittanynicholl

so this football player who lives on my floor was super sweet to me last week while i was grotesque/febrile and lent me some cold and flu meds, so i slipped a note under his door in which i expressed my undying gratitude to him as my “muscular fairy godmother,” which i now realize is a really fucking weird thing to say to someone.

i am so full of regret… and germs.