I feel this exhaustion in my soul

I’ve been debating on posting this for a couple days now. I wanted to wait until I’d calmed enough to make sure I wasn’t just posting it to vent my frustrations. I am still frustrated, but a few nights to sleep on it have shown me that yeah, I do need to talk about it out loud, because staying silent just doesn’t feel like it’s an option any longer.

Continued under the cut.

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I’m on these new sleeping meds
And they’re making me stay asleep and my dreams are more vivid and I mean I already have really vivid dreams so??
Also I have a lot of nightmares so???
Not really a good thing
But last night the first part of my dream was so happy and pure and realistic
And even though shortly after it devolved into one of the worst nightmares I’ve had in a while
I still find myself loving the dream and wishing it was true???
Because it was so happy
Like I would rather have all the shitty stuff too cause it was literally the best
And it wasn’t even like I won a million dollars
It was just hanging out with people and being able to hug them and I cried when I woke up
Because it was so real
I felt like it actually happened
And idk now I just feel like I lost something
Like I could have had it but it fell out of my fingers
And now I’m just stuck with a giant hole in my chest from something that didn’t even happen

It’s getting so cold now that Mother Earth is preparing for her long sleep 🍁 I really need to buy some more Autumn/Winter appropriate things 🍂🌰 {Jumper: Liz Lisa}{Skirt: Ruis Collection} 💕 #himekaji #ethereal #brunette #lizlisa #llgals #ruiscolletion #cute #kawaii #girly #pink #lizlisalove #fairy #forestfairy #nymph #vintage

The Flower Children are here!

I’ll give you some sort of bios and their weapons later as it is 6 am for me and I really need to go to sleep but I really wanted to finish this and introduce these squids. Big thanks to you guys as Sorrel and Cosmo were named after your suggestions. Jonquil was my own choice which I think was a perfect fit since he is a bit narcissistic, hoho. 

Anyway, hope you like team green! More of them later. ;D


How to Sneeze in Japanese Kickstarter starts NOW!

I’ve put together a new book about the sounds people make in other languages (eating, drinking, sleeping, thinking, laughing, crying, stomping, sniffing!) because it turns out they’re all really fun and different

But I need your help to make it a reality! 
24 sounds, with 35 languages and new illustrations, this book is a doozy!

Thanks for following the blog, and if you could help spread the word over this big ol’ internet I would love you forever forever.

Click here for more information!

Hey so I really need donations. My phone needs minutes and I need to save up for a security deposit on an apartment. I’m looking for a job but I only have five more weeks I’m allowed at this house or else I have to go back to California where I’ll either be sleeping on a couch or in the room my grandmother, aka the person in this world I loved the most, died in two weeks ago and both of these options will be guaranteed to wreck my mental health more than it already is. Plus minutes for my phone is important so potential employers can call me back. I’m doing all I can to help myself but I need help and all of this stress is making more suicidal than I’ve been for awhile. Please donate my paypal is rosachnid@gmail.com and there’s a donate button on my blog. Also if you’re living in Macon GA and know of any places hiring please let me know

I’ve always loved and supported Nicki, especially in her approach to criticism and the way she reminded young women of the importance of being independent and loving themselves and their bodies, but what she did tonight was so unbelievably important and I feel that especially young black girls, who are more oppressed and misrepresented than anyone by this societal system of bullshit we have today, needed this, they needed this blast of truth by Nicki because an incident like this shows that even a woman as strong and confident and successful as her will get blatantly disrespected and hit with the same forces of racism and oppression, despite all she’s accomplished, and her expression of exhaustion said it all as she showed young women of color growing up in the same system the importance of standing up for yourself and not taking shit from anybody. And the saddest part of it may be the fact that it will be misconstrued into just another “red carpet scandal,” another catfight between two women in the entertainment industry with Nicki as the big bad wolf and Miley as an innocent bystander rather than being shown for what it really was: a beautiful, strong, independent black woman challenging a ruthless system of oppression and encouraging young women everywhere, especially young woc, to not take shit like this from anybody. I have never before felt so much pride and hope and disgust all in one sitting.