i-really-hate-myself-for-doing-this

👶🏻 21 👶🏻
  • ALTERNATIVE TITLE: THE ONE WITH THE BLUE SCARF
  • : :
  • *outside Speedy's*
  • Molly: *approaching Mary* What's going on?
  • Mary: *grins* I found the father of your baby.
  • Molly: *wide-eyed* What? How...how do you even know who the father is?
  • Mary: *digging in her purse* I believe this belongs to the father of your baby *removes the scarf*
  • Molly: *groans* Oh God...he’s in there right now?
  • Mary: Yup.
  • Molly: *sighs* Let's get this over with.
  • Molly & Mary: *enter Speedy's*
  • Tom: *waving* Hi, Molls.
  • Molly: ...
  • Tom: *looking between them* So, what’s up?
  • Mary: *nudging her forwards* Well, Molly has something that she wants to tell you *gestures the scarf* while we're on the subject, I believe that this is your scarf.
  • Tom: No... *unzips his coat* this is my scarf.
  • Mary: ...
  • Mary: *looks at the scarf in her hand* Ah. Could I get anyone a coffee or...poison? No? Just for me? Okay *hurries off*
  • Tom: *concerned* What’s going on?
  • Molly: *sits opposite him* Nothing. Mary just... sort of made a mistake.
  • Tom: *smiles* I’m pleased Mary called. I know we broke up because you thought we weren't compatible. I was thinking...does that matter?
  • Molly: *hesitates* Tom...
  • Tom: We were perfect together *holds her hand*
  • Molly: I’m pregnant.
  • Tom: Oh. *drops her hand*
  • Tom: ...
  • Molly: ...
  • Molly: You can go.
  • Tom: Thank you *runs off*
  • LATER
  • *John & Mary's*
  • Sherlock: *staring at the baby*
  • John & Mary: *enter the flat*
  • Mary: *smiles* Hi. How was she?
  • Sherlock: *shrugs* Fine.
  • John: *lifts his daughter* There's my girl. Were you good for your Uncle?
  • Sherlock: *sighs*
  • Mary: *smirks* You love her really. You're a natural.
  • Sherlock: *rolls his eyes* I'm going to have to get used to it.
  • John: *nods* Yes, you are.
  • Sherlock: *winds the scarf around his neck; smiles a little*
  • Mary: *looks up; points* That's your scarf?
  • Sherlock: *frowns* Yeeeeeees.
  • Mary: ...
  • Sherlock: *shrugs on his coat* Goodnight *leaves*
  • Mary: *squeals with happiness*
Incoherent Rant

So I’m like…a stupidly sensitive person and seeing so much negativity  towards people who genuinely enjoy writing/analyzing Negan like really makes me feel 100% awful like at this point I’m like…ashamed and disgusted with myself?? Like goddamn I understand if you don’t like a character but going out of your way to be hateful towards someone or call them “disgusting, gross, a rape apologist which I won’t even fucking get into cause that shit is personal af to me “ is honestly one of the most hypocritical and shitty things you could possibly do. I remember a certain fandom wanting to bone the Govenor, but thats none of my business

Like…nobody is “romanticizing” what Negan does and a majority of the people who enjoy analyzing/writing about him are grown ass women who are far more intelligent than I am. Like ya’ll take shit out on me I deserve it bc I’m 18. There’s literally nothing keeping you from ignoring people who like Negan and staying in your own lane, unless you literally just want to argue (which I’m guilty of in the past. It doesn’t get you anywhere trust me.) And like, people like @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @kijilinn @ladylorelitany @marythenurse and so many others have made me start to write again??? And they’re all amazing woke af people and now that I’m writing again I’m starting to feel a sense of purpose XD 

So if you wanna go ahead and say I’m “disgusting” or whatever, the block button is at the top of my blog. Save yourself some trouble and click it, cause if you message me this is what you’re going to get as a reply:

*Incoherent rant over*

anonymous asked:

I really really wish I knew if canon bellarke was genuinely on the table. Cos if it weren't, I would just opt out quietly now and save myself the heartache. I mean, can u imagine reaching the end and Bellamy and Clarke are still not a couple?!?! Like what was the point of it all? I've shipped in the past but BC is the first ship I've properly obsessed over and I hate that I'm now so invested lol. So can someone go to the future and do me a solid?

Damn anon, if I could I’d go to the future, bang a Time Lord, find out how the show ends, then come back and PM it to you.

I wish I knew for sure too. There are moments when I briefly go “Wait, am I being overboard about this? What if I’m wrong?” Because yeah, the constant drone of doubt was everywhere the last 6 months. But after I’ve wallowed for a bit, I start to remember the reasons I think Bellarke is going to be canon.  And there are SO MANY.  Like, for practically weeks I totally forgot the heartfelt speech Bellamy gave Clarke in 312 when she was willing to sacrifice herself–the speech where he basically declares that she’s too important and he refuses to let her die.  Which was also, btw, the episode where she pulled a radio directly off his belt and he didn’t even blink.

Or the 209 conversation about ghosts and love and weakness. Like, wtf, season 2 was just so much. Not only is Clarke and Bellamy’s relationship compared to the platonic trust relationship that Lexa had with Gustus (a level of devotion that was so epic that Bellamy subconsciously identified with it), but Bellarke is also compared to Clarke and Finn’s relationship. THREE TIMES IN CLARKE’S OWN DIALOUGE. Clarke actually says “I can’t lose you too”, then says the words about weakness and love, then tells Bellamy she was being weak by asking him to stay, then looks at Finn’s ghost and says “love is weakness.”  Doubters can claim until they’re blue in the face that this just means Clarke’s love is platonic, but boy-o lemme tell you, it’s never an accident when the hero’s past romantic relationship is directly compared as a love relationship to the hero’s current closest relationship.*  Scripts don’t just fall from the trees like acorns.  Some knowingly writes them.  Someone has put it to words many, many times that Clarke trusts Bellamy the most, loves him, fears for him, and might possibly buckle under torture to save him.

Basically what I can say is this: none of us know the future, but what we do know is that everything you’ve seen on screen so far that has made you a bellarke fan was put into the episodes intentionally.  These are not accidents or coincidences.  This is the story.  The partnership of Clarke and Bellamy is the story. It may be romantic in s4 or it may be romantic in s5, but it’s on its way.

Hi

Hey, sorry if this blog has been sorta kinda depressing over the last week and a half.

Dunno, usually around this time of the year, my more depressing and sad self shows more, and honestly, it’s been affecting friends of mine, what art I make, etc., And it sucks. It sucks that I have to actually try and maintain a positive attitude because I’m so used to hating myself 24/7, even though I know for a fact that it’s really stupid that I do.

I mean, I’m not a terrible person. Yeah, I make mistakes and stuff, but I don’t really go out and tell people to fucking kill themselves on the internet just for the sake of it. I don’t try to start political flame wars, or start ludacris arguments over ridiculously arbitrary things. That’s not me, and I don’t aspire to be that kind of person. I just want to be close with the people I care about and make silly pieces of art, even if it is bad or not.

I mean… I guess it isn’t so bad to where I have 98 followers, but I’ll stay humble and say thank you for 98. I love all my followers on all my blogs, but I appreciate the 98 here the most because you all came here to see what I’m putting genuine time into, rather than just following me for reblogging memes.

I don’t want people, friends of mine especially, to stop talking or joking with me in fear that they’ll offend me. That breaks my heart more than anything. Me being a crybaby is causing close friends of mine to become distant because they think it might benefit me. It does not, and I’m sorry if I made you think that. I can be a bit misleading at times as you can see, and emotion is rather difficult to convey through text in a message or a post on social media.

I’m trying really hard to stay positive. That’s why I vent. That’s why I drew that one questionable image and posted it. I wanted to get the negativity out of my system, and right now, I’m doing fairly well. Granted, I’m kinda flipping shit over a project that’s due Thursday for one of my classes, and I’m also flipping shit over my ACT which I take this coming Saturday, but aside from that and my stomach ache I’ve had since late last night, I’m doing pretty okay.

I’m not really sure why I compulsively obsess over my mistakes, as well as over-exaggerate my flaws. Oddly enough, my flaws are fairly common, and I act like I’m some demon that could be compared to some asshole who draws controversial and socially unacceptable porn, and makes $100,000+ a fucking year off of patreon alone, and is well known in a sub-culture that consists of people who dress in animals costumes for fun because of that garbage. (You might know who I’m talking about xD).

I mean, I compare myself to people that are terrible, and I don’t seem relatively bad. I know this for a fact, but I still beat myself up constantly for much more miniscule things that could be found in just about any other human being.

Anyways, sorry for this long post on this blog. I felt like I needed to clear things up, even though I feel like nobody even asked, which is okay. After all, this is an art blog, not a “Alex rambles about stuff” blog, haha.

anonymous asked:

i can't really bring myself to be offended when non black people say or mouth the n word during song covers. At first I'd feel slight shock + then that's it. I don't say the word myself, but can understand the difference between someone being racially malicious versus doing a simple song cover. Apparently this may mean I'm a sell-out though or hate being black, but I don't. If it happens it happens wcyd?Rap music is universal, reaching every country. Can't isolate it to only one group of ppl.

anonymous asked:

My dad and I were talking about some of my mental health stuff and he just keeps asking me "why?" "Why do you feel like you deserve to be punished?" "why do you think you are a monstrously ugly person?" "why do you feel like you are worse than everyone else?" He keeps wanting me to "unpack the problem" but i don't know why! you can only dig so deep! it's really getting on my nerves. klhoiurhiguhgiuhpoijpiuhfpiuhgiuh

MY DAD DOES THIS TOO AND I HATE IT SO MUCH SVDJFVSVDBSCDJ BDVSV like how do you not understand the concept of “stuff just happens and its just the way it is” like do i NEED to explain myself for EVERYTHING?????

In the wake of the new BNHA chapter, I feel like I should really post the part of the WIP that follows THIS POST. Why? Because this is a long chapter and I gave myself tears. @kisecchinosedai feel my pain again >:3


He combed his fingers through her long strands of fur, white and orange and black and splotched. This wasn’t doing it—this slow shit wasn’t cutting it. It wasn’t and he didn’t know what else to do. On one hand he didn’t exactly trust her, on the other this was exactly why he was paying her—if no one else, she at least had to take him seriously. He didn’t need to fuck around and dance around anything like secrets and whatever pride he was stubbornly clutching to.

“You don’t share this shit with anyone else, right?” He needed to hear it. Needed to confirm it. Needed to know, for certain, that nothing he was about to say left this damn room. Nothing would pass the ears of these cats, Dr. Maruya and his own fucking self.

“If it doesn’t cause harm to you or others, no, it doesn’t leave this room.” Her small brown fingers set the pen on top of her notebook. She didn’t speak any further, but he could feel her watching him. Could feel her large, wide blue eyes observing him as he combed fingers through the cat’s fur in his lap. She wouldn’t push him, at least not with words. The gaze alone did the trick.

“Have you heard of a quirk that could pass off to another—like some protégé?”

She laid her hands overtop of the other. “No, but I wouldn’t put it past existing either once before or currently or even in the future. You can’t be certain how a quirk could manifest through genetics.” Everyone knew that children gained bits and pieces of their parents quirks, some were like spitting images of the former, others an even blend, rarer still was a quirk so woefully new that it could seldom resemble the parents it came from. “But you know it to exist currently; so what of this quirk?”

He glanced up from the cat, stilling his petting.

“Why would someone give their quirk to someone else?” He ground his teeth together, biting back the worst part. The part that sounded childish—he knew the answer to it. Knew why they would outright tell people they could bestow their powers to someone else. Wasn’t safe, it dampened the whole power behind the symbol, it could put more stain on the next person in line.

“Maybe the same reason why a parent would have a child?” Dr. Maruya answered, “I can’t answer for them. People do things for all sorts of reasons. But as a parent myself, maybe its for the sake of continuation? To feel that a piece of you is left in the world to better it in your stead.”

He looked to the painting above her seat. It sounded like something All Might would strive for. To continue to bring peace as a symbol even after he’s gone. All Might was a symbol, and now that it was gone—now that… now that Midoriya was next

He clicked his tongue against his teeth, eyes pinched close.

He sucked in a lungful and opened his eyes. That painting was still there; a cloudless ocean scenery, a pretty red and white sail boat. “Then why the fuck am I the reason He’s forced to retire and not this fucking protégé?” He fucking hated the ocean. “Why am I the only one brok—” he barred his teeth, losing the point he was making.

All Might retired and it was his fault—fucking Deku was waltzing around with All Might’s quirk, yet those two were tighter than ever. All big eyes and hero worship—they were fine with it. But Bakugou wasn’t. All Might could’ve retired after the villain attack at Yuuei, he could’ve retired before that night, or after or… or anytime. It could’ve been anytime if not for Bakugou.

“All Might had to retire ‘cause my weak fucking ass couldn’t handle a couple of pathetic assholes—its my fault!” The cat leapt from his lap, running from the room like a bat outta hell. Dr. Maruya, unmoving, only frowned. “It’s my fault, how the fuck am I supposed to call myself a hero if I can’t even insure we have a Symbol of Peace?”

How was he supposed to wake up and expect to look at the man when he was the reason his idol could no longer be… him. Bakugou ruined everything. He ruined himself, he ruined All Might, he was a fuck up of a son, a shitty fucking person—why the fuck did Eijirou even want to date his stupid ass?

How the fuck was he supposed to be a hero when no one ever thought he’d be a good one—they called him flashy, or cool, or tough. But never fucking good. Wasn’t that what a Hero was supposed to be at the end of the day? Good?!

“You’re sixteen—you’re a kid.” The woman set both pen and book aside. “What happened with All Might that night was a shame, yes, but it wasn’t your doing. All Might is a professional, he’s also an adult.” She spoke calmly, tone cool in contrast to his. “While All Might had to retire after the events pertaining to that night, it is not due to you being there—you know as well as I do that he’d gladly risk his life time and time again to save anyone, and has done so in the past, the fact that you’re a student of his only made it personal.” Dr. Maruya leaned in, reaching out across the gap between their knees before thinking better of it and returning to her upright position. “Your job, your only job that night, was to get out of that situation as safely as possible. Your only duty was to survive, and you should be proud of that.

You don’t have your hero license; you aren’t a hero yet. Until then you’re a student and a civilian. Maybe at times you’ll be on a probationary status with a branch—I believe that’s the status they give you? But, anyways, it isn’t your job to play hero yet. You were kidnapped, you were contained, and you fought to free yourself and you did. You did all you could and more.”

Bakugou’s mouth opened and promptly closed when she held her hand up, “you did everything and more Katsuki. All Might knew the risks, he weighed them and calculated that he would take action no matter the end result. You did everything you could—you did what was right.”

His eyes widened.

“It’s not your duty to be a martyr.”

totheverybestoftimes  asked:

4, 8, 12, 21, 29 💖

Aaaaaaahhh yes thank you!!! 😘

4. Which character did you love at first but eventually hate?

Molly, hands down. I used to identify a lot with her, but now she represents everything I hate about myself and in S3 she really got… a bit pathetic, sorry. I hope she gets the chance to change that in S4.

8. Do you recommend Sherlock to others or prefer to keep it to yourself?

I do recommend it when the topic comes up.

12. What is your favorite fan fic about them or fan art of them?

I don’t have a favourite fan art, but my favourite fan fic is probably “The Norwood Love Builders” (by flawedamythyst). I have to reread that sometime! <3

21. What is your favorite moment in A Scandal in Belgravia?

The scene in Buckingham Palace (one of my favourite moments from the show over all). <3

29. What is your best prediction for Season 4?

JOHNLOCK 😄 Also John getting rid of Mary in some way?

anonymous asked:

12:08 AM. I'm stuck. I'm happy but, I'm stuck. I'm stuck between the past, present, and future. And I hate it. I can't tell if i really love or if i just adore mysteries and unraveling them in a person's brain. I can't tell if my feelings are real or if they're just illusions i create to make myself feel real. I'm afraid that I'll never find someone to fully connect mentally with but, I'm a mixed up puzzle mixed from other puzzles and I can't figure myself out either so, how can others?

1. meditate 2. do introspection 3. walk around 4. go on dates with yourself 5. ask yourself lots of tumblr questions 6. get to know you 7. read self-improvement and self-help books (i recommend starting with the four agreements) 8. write, write, write 

anonymous asked:

My mom is one of the best humans I know. She recently returned from Hajj and not one sibling of hers came to visit or pay respects. I understand that we have our own priorities, but it hurt me to see this. I know I must respect them and forgive them as a Muslim. But how can I forget and not distance myself? How can I embrace relatives like that? It is one of my greatest weakness.

That’s really sad to hear. I’m so sorry about it. Allah forgives the greatest of sins, even though we neglect him the most. Allah loves to forgive. If Allah can forgive, so can we. Keep your heart open, Allah is overlooking everything and He will make your mom’s siblings realize what they’re doing sooner or later. I understand that you want to distance yourself, but Allah azzawajal hates breaking ties with kin. You can distance yourself, respectfully. But don’t cut them off. Be kind to them, treat them with your manners, not theirs. The prophet ﷺ went through much worse, but he was always humble, kept a smile, and he was always kind. Follow his example, Allah will be pleased with you. 

With this situation, you need to take extra care of your mom. Maybe bring her present to show how much she is appreciated, because obviously even if she doesn’t express her feelings, she probably is grieved by the treatment of her siblings towards her. Make her feel appreciated and special, take her out and be there for her. May Allah azzawajal bless you both. 

anonymous asked:

My sister called me sasquatch because my leg hair. I got so mad, i hit her. She hirt me, and i wanted to hurt her back. And now im hating myself more than ever. Shes always just so mean and guilt tripping and she wont stop i dont know what to do

well, you know what they say, talk shit, get hit!
She was the mean one first, and sometimes its good to stand for yourself!
The best is avoiding your sister as much as you can! she doesn’t sound like a good person…
and its ok, we all act out of anger once in a while… you can work ok that, but understand it wasnt really your fault

tagged by @deadypooly@captainamericc​ and @falcvns​! thank you, babes. you’re all a+. i don’t think i can whip up 33 facts about myself so i’m gonna cheat, sorry :(

R U L E S:  Tell your followers 11 random facts about yourself and tag 11 people. Tag backs are allowed but if you do get tagged again you must not repeat any of the facts you mentioned in the previous round. The facts can be absolutely anything, whatever comes to mind first.

1. cake is my favorite dessert
2. i really really hate mint chocolate chip ice cream
3. i moved out from home at 15yo
4. my favorite color is black
5. i love formula 1
6. i love steve rogers 
7. the first fic i wrote was in the naruto fandom
8. i can understand written spanish just fine but not spoken
9. i hate studying
10. i love cooking
11. i have an older brother

i tag @cpn-america @pauljrovias @daisyridlay@falconisms@everentwined @anthonnystark @luxluci @matthewsriles @chrisprvtt @cuddlybucky @natpeggy

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Kaneki Ken | Tokyo Ghoul → Tokyo Ghoul √A