i-never-had-a-home

personal rant you are not obligated to read

anyways there’s this brand new kid im training at work who has latched on to me like a horny leech :/ he’s sweet but he’s really into civ 5 and also is kinda stinky and just simply is not my type so when he asked me out for drinks yesterday my anxiety didn’t know how to respond so I basically just ran away and idk I feel a bad about it :/ ALSO I had a ticket to see a clockwork orange in 70mm last night at the Alamo drafthouse which is basically like my favorite place to go and I was very excited to finally do something fun but I got there and I remembered I has seen my exs car there last time so I just checked to see and it turns out she fucking WORKS there now so I can never go back so I just cried and went home :/ ALSO my coworker who I had never expected to be horrible started going off on this actual ANGRY transphobic rant bc we hired a trans guy and wow I just had a bad night last night gamers

Its hard for me to relate to other peoples retail experiences in the two years i worked at home depot i had never received so many hugs and high fives from strangers in my life

“My father is a simple laborer and my mother has the brain of a twelve year old child. She has a development problem. I was never able to ask her questions when I was growing up, like: ‘How does this work?’ or ‘What does this mean?’ She was the one asking me all the questions. She never said much to me beyond ‘Hello.’ For the longest time I thought it was normal. But when I started to visit the houses of my friends, I noticed that their mothers were hugging them, and cooking them food, and talking to them. But I had no one to take care of me. I started going to nightclubs at the age of twelve. I had no supervision. I never went to college. I still live at home now. I work seventy hours a week and I don’t have a family of my own. If I left the house, it would be a disaster. Neither of my parents can read or write. I do everything for them. I feel like there are no doors open for me, but often I hear people say: ‘No matter what, you can accomplish your dreams.’ So I do feel guilty for not achieving more.”

(Cordoba, Argentina)

2

I remember when I first started being in magazines, I had pretty thin skin. I was this nerd that read books and stayed home and didn’t go out. I had this big complex because I didn’t go to college. There was a whole era where I got linked to everybody. People that I had never met. I was like, “How? I’m home alone reading chapter 12 of a book.”

Sometimes hope is a thing with feathers
And sometimes hope is a thing with a snow covered snoot

My Missing Child

Okay guys I have another Glitch in the Matrix story that happened a week ago. I wasn’t sure wether or not to post it but I think I should. So I woke up a week ago and was going about my day normally when suddenly I had horrible cramps and I rushed to the hospital. I had a miscarriage. It was an awful horrid feeling and I ended up having to stay the night at the hospital since there was so much blood. I remember my husband and I crying horribly over the loss of our son. I slept to try to get the pain to go away and when I woke up I was at home. The day had never passed. But I had the clothes on that I wore that day and I remember vividly everything that happened. I talked to everyone and they all said it was just a horrible dream. I know it wasn’t because I still had the clothes on and I remember being fully awake. I don’t know what happened or why. But I know one thing,
I was not dreaming.
@sixpenceee

One time in 5th grade we had an exchange student named Soon-Yeong from Korea and we all thought he was the new class pet so we asked him lots of nosey questions that he didn’t understand and in return he gave us scented twistable crayons and shiny anime stickers as tribute then we found out he was really good at soccer so we took him out to play and he kicked the ball so high it hit a seagull flying by and it fell into the playground and we all crowded round to see if it was dead and after that Soon-Yeong was our hero.

To this day no one knows what happened to the seagull.

** I’ve been meaning to post this for a month now but was too nervous. So here it is.**

5 years ago I had my drink spiked at a busy bar, I was taken outside the venue and around to this public toilet. I was raped, had my phone and wallet taken and I found my way back to my friends. Luckily some parts of the event are patchy but I’ll never forget the fear, dread and embarrassment that overwhelmed me for months afterwards. I told no one. Tried to confide in close friends but feared facing what happened. I finally reported it to the police and 3 other girls had been assaulted/drugged that same evening. Not much was followed up about it. What felt like a never ending stream of events followed, I had my home broken into and 3 men tried to get to me as I barricaded myself in my room and called for help. I had a man pull me into a change-room at work to assault me (In broad daylight might I add). These 3 events and the countless slurs, comments, cheating, inappropriate messages, gropes, gestures, late night texts, flashers and what was worst of all, an emotionally/physically/sexually abusive relationship has taught me something very important.

No one should ever or can ever make you feel worthless. You are worthy of love, to feel safe and to be empowered. Never let anyone take that away from you. Whether it be a complete stranger or someone you love.
You will survive, you are never alone and somehow you will find the strength inside to carry on. The hurt will overwhelm you but let it empower you with love and wisdom afterwards.

What gets me the most and makes my hands shake from anger is that anyone I talk to about this has his or her own story/stories. Please, reach out. Talk to your friends and family. Seek the help you need and educate eachother. Do what you can to make this world a better place. I have always endeavoured for my Instagram/tumblr to be a positive and safe place. Please feel free to contact me if you ever need to talk I’m here for you all. Or let this post encourage you to take care of yourself, reach out to someone, help a stranger or ask if someone is okay. ❤️

Confession: Shipping Sheith has helped me heal and move on from a previous relationship and therefore is very personal and means a lot to me. I’ve never had a ship hit THIS close to home with my personal experiences (and just fyi, me and the person are the same age). Shiro and Keith’s dynamics are so similar to a relationship I’ve had but because I view their relationship as healthy and built on deep mutual trust (and over 18 lol), I’ve been able to find an avenue to channel and work out a lot of my unresolved feelings about my past relationship. Discovering Sheith was exploring different ways in which two people with such dynamics can work it out and be healthy. Through all of that, it’s helped me heal and has brought me a lot of comfort. Of course, it’s not the only reason I ship them (come on, the shoulder touch, and all the other moments, big and small!), but it certainly holds a special place of deep significance in my heart and it’s unfair to invalidate those experiences.

Conclusion: You have no idea the reasoning and the story behind every person who ships what they ship. Please don’t assume or judge. I view these characters as adults and project them as healthy. Please respect our experiences.

It was amazing to me that somehow you were out in the world all this time and while I was searching for someone who felt like home, I had never touched you.
—  “I Think I Love Your Existence More Than You” // excerpt from a book I’ll write someday