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Do not smile back at strange men.
Keep your head down,
eyes on the ground in front of you.
Work your mouth into a straight line
that screams “no.”
Make sure your skirt reaches the knees
and your top fully covers the breasts.
Do not saunter.
Do not giggle.
Avoid dark corners.
Replay what you learned in your self-defense class.
Pepper spray fits nicely in a girl’s purse.
Keep your keys in-between your fingers,
so you are ready to open your door
or stab anybody who sneaks up behind you.
Walk quickly to avoid the second happening first.
And above all,
do not ask why you are taught
to take all of these precautions
when a man does not learn
the meaning of
—  So, You Want To Walk Home Alone Tonight? | Lora Mathis

I need feminism
because whilst growing up,
I was told feminism meant;
you despised men,
couldn’t shave,
did not wear a bra.
that feminists were “unladylike”
that you weren’t a “real” feminist if you shaved
and decorated your face with make up
I need feminism
because I don’t believe in stereotypes
Or discrimination
I believe in equality.


As you can see, @YungRajee on twitter is a sexist douchebag. I found out about him because of this post that has been circulating tumblr.

He has almost 20k followers.

So I made a response to some of the disgusting things he has tweeted (that’s me saying “fuck you”), and here’s the reaction I got. He re-posted my icon photo with a caption telling me to shave & calling me a bitch, which has now gotten over 300 retweets, and I’ve received dozens of tweets telling me to shave and that I’m disgusting.

I do not deserve this bullshit for calling out someone who says horrible things. I do not deserve to be called “disgusting” and a “whore” because I choose not to shave. I do not deserve to be attacked like that.

This is why I need feminism.

I need feminism because when a told a boy that my dream car was a 68 Mustang, he said, “Women can’t drive muscle cars.”

I need feminism because when I’m with a group of guys and I offer my opinion about something, 9/10 times one of them will tell me to shut up and make him a sandwich.

I need feminism because when a girl in my class got sexually assaulted at a college party and ALMOST BEATEN TO DEATH, people blamed her because she was drunk.

I need feminism because when my friend was raped, he thought it was his fault because he was scantily clad.

I need feminism because tv sitcoms only portray women as objects who’s sole purpose is to get drunk and offer sexual pleasure.

I need feminism because when people think of the word “feminist” or “feminism”, they still imagine hairy women burning bras and hating men.

I need feminism because almost every piece of literature I read in high school was written by a middle aged white man. This isn’t to say that those works were poorly written, but that there’s no diversity in the literary caste.

I need feminism because people think that if a there were a female president, she’d launch us into a nuclear holocaust because she’s menstruating and PMSing.

I need feminism because google defines “rapist” as “a man who commits rape”.

I need feminism because when I get a job, I want to be payed just as much as the man who has the same job as me.

I need feminism because our congress (which consists primarily of middle aged men) has spent more than 40 years trying to decide whether or not a woman’s right to choose should be granted.

I need feminism because this is such common sense and taken thousands of years for us to realize this.

I need feminism because there are so many other issues in this topic I could go on about, but I’m just too pissed off

"Not all men" vs. "Not all feminists"

A typical antifeminist/MRA/anti-SJ tactic is to suggest that feminists are being hypocritical when they say that men’s use of “not all men” is bullshit because we use the excuse “not all feminists” fairly often. Their mistake is that they think that because these two statements SOUND THE SAME, that they have THE SAME MEANING. But this is a false equivalence and I’m gonna tell you why. So strap in friends, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride ;)

The “not all men” excuse refers to RAPE and other aggressions and violence INDIVIDUAL men commit against women. When you say “not all men” you are saying, “yes some men are bad and may be dangerous, but some of us are good!” IOW, “Because I think I’m a ‘good man’, other men’s violence doesn’t exist and you shouldn’t bring it up anymore!”. Men who use this argument are trying to silence women and deny their experiences of violence and abuse at the hands of other men. This is a derailment tactic that serves no useful purpose but to reassert patriarchy and rape culture.

When we say “not all feminists are like …..” we are saying that you cannot define an ENTIRE MOVEMENT by the actions of an individual. FeminiSM is a # of THEORIES, PHILOSOPHIES, AND BODIES OF RESEARCH that advocates for equality and inclusiveness. Unlike a theory, which is developed over time through research, activism, and public/political/academic discourse, FeminisTS are PEOPLE with flaws and who cannot be asked to embody all that is feminism. Any logical person can see that this comparison is apples and oranges.

In fact, nearly every time a man has come at me with “yes, but not all men” has been when I was talking about my OWN experiences with men’s violence and abuse. And this is not just happening to me. Its prevalent use among men in this type of situation is the very reason there is such a strong push back by the feminist community. 

This is why when feminists talk about their individual experiences and a man chimes in with “not all men” it is absolutely a derailment tactic because it’s not even RELEVANT. Nobody even said “all men”!? We KNOW that not all men do this (e.g., rape, violence, make sexist/racist jokes) and that they are all individuals with autonomy and who make their own choices. In FACT, I will even ADMIT that there are a FEW moments when saying “not all men” can be appropriate. But that is only when a person has clearly blamed all men for something. And then, after briefly clarifying that not all men do this (or better yet, waiting until AFTER the story), you return BACK to the woman’s story and demonstrate human compassion and empathy. If you are just drawing conclusions about a woman’s meanings however, it’s better to skip this self-absorbed comment and start listening and caring again like a decent human being.

So, when feminists say “not all feminists” all that we are doing is trying to demonstrate to YOU that feminism is a very diverse movement and just because you met a few “nasty”, “b*tchy”, or even violent feminists, it doesn’t mean that FEMINISM itself is to blame and/or that it hasn’t/isn’t doing great things for humanity. What it DOES mean is that feminists too are individual people with their own unique lives and interpretations of feminism. Just like men!

THIS means that YOU, as an individual, are responsible for doing your research about feminism before you decide how you feel about it. You cannot judge feminism based on individual feminists or the cultural construction of feminism that paints it as no-longer necessary and as shrouded in ‘evil’ misandry (psssst, that’s something else!). 

Instead, you can kindly and privately call attention to this problem, as MANY of us feminists have done and continue to do, and suggest to these misguided feminists that they too take a break from their harmful “activism” and do more research and critical thinking about feminism and intersectionality. THAT would be a much more helpful and healthy approach than demonizing feminism and all feminists just because of a few “bad”/misguided apples.

Why do antifeminists/MRAs/anti-SJs always blame feminists for things that patriarchy is responsible for like penis mutilation and society’s inability to grasp the concept of male rape? (that’s patriarchy’s misogyny & rape culture btw, you’re welcome)

Then these same folks somehow feel they’re justified in calling for an end to feminism, mostly on the grounds that “feminists just aren’t doing a good enough job of dismantling the faults of society”, which they refuse to acknowledge are rooted in patriarchy to begin with.

Seriously, why do you people think you’re so clever?