Rammstein in Paris: Quick Thoughts
So, I went to the screening and I’m going to share some of my thoughts and actions:
- One of the top comments on the life feed on Rammstein’s page stated that Jonas needs to calm down, they think he’s given them seizures. I cackled, but it’s true; this film has a LOT of VERY frantic moments that are quite extended in some places. I’m not qualified to give an epilepsy warning, but I WILL say those prone to migraines or oversensitive to flashing lights/images or frantic editing might want to watch out.
- I LOVE the way most of the songs are introduced, their ‘title cards’. The only ones I didn’t really like were Mutter (it took me forever to realise that’s what the words were going to spell out as they were written) and Feuer Frei! (font was tacky). Buch Dich’s one was fucking hysterical, though.
- On that note, I really don’t need to see Flake’s pale flat arsecrack for a good solid lifetime now.
- Irritated, abusive, sloppily dressed housewife Schneider is the best.
- No matter how much it would have been rehearsed, him ‘kicking’ members down the steps to the second platform always look fucking painful.
- The slow buildup at the start really does take a while to get going. If it’s for stragglers to get into theatre, very well done. I enjoy spooky sombre Rammstein and monk-like Ollie (did I mention how much I FUCKING LOVE monk-themed Ollie because I do).
- Paul is a goofball and everyone loves him. Everyone is solemn in the procession across the walkway. And there’s Paul doing an exaggerated stomping march (think Till when he’s getting off the platform in Wuhlheide at the start of Ich Tu Dir Weh, that kind).
- OH MY GOD IS SCHNEIDER GOING TO DO A BACKFLIP oh thank fuck no he’s not jesus man don’t scare us.
- Nice closeups of Ollie, the forgotten bassist. Between Paul the lovable ham, Flake the abused glitter giraffe, Richard the prima donna, Schneider from outer fucking space and melancholy boyish titan Till, Ollie is somewhat in the background. Easily the most dignified, and he gets some shine here.
- Speaking of the glitter giraffe, HIS FUCKING MOUSTACHE.
- I will never get sick of the concert addition of the ‘tick, tick-tick-tick, ticka-tick-tick’ for Mein Teil. I love that little earworm.
- Till’s finger-in-mouth girly pout at his now empty dick is priceless.
- As much as Jonas needs to calm the fuck down with his editing sometimes, when he gets it right, he gets it REALLY right. Closeups of Till really shine at certain moments, I can’t wait to see in-between screens for something.
- WAS THAT A VAMPIRE RICHARD WTF.
- Reptile tongue Till is cool until the second time when it looks fake as shit, and lightening fingers Flake is distracting. Also, floating spinning Till made me wonder if the migraine had started and was messing with my eyeballs.
- Fuckers leaving before the end.
- Fuckers STANDING IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN as the after-credits come on.
- “Bitte. BITTE. BITTE! DOWN IN FRONT!”
- Flake staying behind to finish his parts, then casually fucking off as the show ends makes me cackle.
- I feel sorry for the people behind fuckers who have banners in the crowds, I really do.
- Till is melting ice-cream from his hair at one point. I know that’s not what it is, it just looks like that.
- IS THAT A DERMAL ANCHOR ON HIS CHEST TILL YOU DAFT BASTARD DID YOU GET THAT FOR THE HEART BIT OMFG YOU ARE NOT A PINCUSHION.
- I say that as I am jealous since I am unpierceable. I had two Till left-eyebrow piercings and numerous others, but my body tries to eat them and they never heal fully.
- Headbutting microphones and smashing cymbals. FUCK INSTRUMENTS WE ARE RAMMSTEIN.
- Speaking of which, where did Paul and Richard’s en-flambé guitars go guys you can’t just edit them out of existence where did you throw them to did you just really not like the security in the pit around you.
- “Paul. PAW-AUL. Fuck it, Paul, okay. And I know it’s Flack-eh, but to me it’s Flake. He’s a Cadbury chocolate”
- Someone get Jonas on some ritalin plz
That’s all I can think of, I’ll add more later