i-need-a-flat

Rammstein in Paris: Quick Thoughts

So, I went to the screening and I’m going to share some of my thoughts and actions:

  • One of the top comments on the life feed on Rammstein’s page stated that Jonas needs to calm down, they think he’s given them seizures. I cackled, but it’s true; this film has a LOT of VERY frantic moments that are quite extended in some places. I’m not qualified to give an epilepsy warning, but I WILL say those prone to migraines or oversensitive to flashing lights/images or frantic editing might want to watch out.
  • I LOVE the way most of the songs are introduced, their ‘title cards’. The only ones I didn’t really like were Mutter (it took me forever to realise that’s what the words were going to spell out as they were written) and Feuer Frei! (font was tacky). Buch Dich’s one was fucking hysterical, though.
  • On that note, I really don’t need to see Flake’s pale flat arsecrack for a good solid lifetime now.
  • Irritated, abusive, sloppily dressed housewife Schneider is the best.
  • No matter how much it would have been rehearsed, him ‘kicking’ members down the steps to the second platform always look fucking painful.
  • The slow buildup at the start really does take a while to get going. If it’s for stragglers to get into theatre, very well done. I enjoy spooky sombre Rammstein and monk-like Ollie (did I mention how much I FUCKING LOVE monk-themed Ollie because I do).
  • Paul is a goofball and everyone loves him. Everyone is solemn in the procession across the walkway. And there’s Paul doing an exaggerated stomping march (think Till when he’s getting off the platform in Wuhlheide at the start of Ich Tu Dir Weh, that kind).
  • OH MY GOD IS SCHNEIDER GOING TO DO A BACKFLIP oh thank fuck no he’s not jesus man don’t scare us.
  • Nice closeups of Ollie, the forgotten bassist. Between Paul the lovable ham, Flake the abused glitter giraffe, Richard the prima donna, Schneider from outer fucking space and melancholy boyish titan Till, Ollie is somewhat in the background. Easily the most dignified, and he gets some shine here.
  • Speaking of the glitter giraffe, HIS FUCKING MOUSTACHE.
  • I will never get sick of the concert addition of the ‘tick, tick-tick-tick, ticka-tick-tick’ for Mein Teil. I love that little earworm.
  • Till’s finger-in-mouth girly pout at his now empty dick is priceless.
  • As much as Jonas needs to calm the fuck down with his editing sometimes, when he gets it right, he gets it REALLY right. Closeups of Till really shine at certain moments, I can’t wait to see in-between screens for something.
  • WAS THAT A VAMPIRE RICHARD WTF.
  • Reptile tongue Till is cool until the second time when it looks fake as shit, and lightening fingers Flake is distracting. Also, floating spinning Till made me wonder if the migraine had started and was messing with my eyeballs.
  • Fuckers leaving before the end.
  • Fuckers STANDING IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN as the after-credits come on.
  • “Bitte. BITTE. BITTE! DOWN IN FRONT!”
  • Flake staying behind to finish his parts, then casually fucking off as the show ends makes me cackle.
  • I feel sorry for the people behind fuckers who have banners in the crowds, I really do.
  • Till is melting ice-cream from his hair at one point. I know that’s not what it is, it just looks like that.
  • IS THAT A DERMAL ANCHOR ON HIS CHEST TILL YOU DAFT BASTARD DID YOU GET THAT FOR THE HEART BIT OMFG YOU ARE NOT A PINCUSHION.
  • I say that as I am jealous since I am unpierceable. I had two Till left-eyebrow piercings and numerous others, but my body tries to eat them and they never heal fully.
  • Headbutting microphones and smashing cymbals. FUCK INSTRUMENTS WE ARE RAMMSTEIN.
  • Speaking of which, where did Paul and Richard’s en-flambé guitars go guys you can’t just edit them out of existence where did you throw them to did you just really not like the security in the pit around you.
  • “Paul. PAW-AUL. Fuck it, Paul, okay. And I know it’s Flack-eh, but to me it’s Flake. He’s a Cadbury chocolate”
  • Someone get Jonas on some ritalin plz

That’s all I can think of, I’ll add more later

Sherlock knows its been a rough day at the clinic by the way John climbs the stairs at the end of his shift.  Tonight the footfalls of those steps are slow and heavy.  Sherlock knows it has been a rough day,

He pushes his chair back from the table, leaving his experiment behind and gets up to immediately start water for tea. He can hear John sigh as he enters the flat and shrugs out of his coat hanging it on the hook,  

He listens as John toes off his shoes and pads towards the kitchen. Sherlock’s back still to him and it’s when Sherlock is reaching for the mugs that John wraps his arms around Sherlock’s waist and tips up on his toes to press a kiss on the nape of his neck.

“It’s the little things like this that I love about you.  The fact that you can tell before I even make it into the flat that I need a hot cuppa.”

Sherlock turns around in John’s arms and presses a soft kiss to his lips.  “It’s a husband’s job to know these things.”

John chuckles, “say that again, I’m still trying to get used to that word.”

“Husband.” Sherlock repeats with a smile on his lips.

Josh Keaton has officially called the antis out on their bullshit, and now antis are harassing him on twitter. 

I feel like I really need to highlight what’s happening here. Antis have been told flat-out by someone directly involved with the show that they are in the wrong. And rather than accept this with grace, and acknowledge that they are wrong, they have opted instead to harass him. To harass one of the people involved in creating the show they supposedly love. They have opted instead to harass him to the point of dragging his children into the arguments. 

Antis would rather become literal monsters (and they’ve shown us that plenty what with all the death threats, hate messages, gore, and actual cp sent to sheith shippers) - they’d rather become literal monsters and harass a member of the VLD crew than just admit that they were wrong. 

Ninja edit: It’s worth noting that no one is saying antis have to like sheith or other shaladin ships. They don’t have to like it, but they don’t get to call it pedophilia just because they don’t like it. All that is being said is that they need to acknowledge that they are in the wrong when trying to hate on it or call it “pedophilia”. And they are harassing a voice actor because he told them that they are wrong. 

6

They haven’t been sealed and finished yet BUT I just want you all to know that I’m spending my time off work effectively and productively

I’ve always wanted to step on Kishibe Rohan

Progress photos are the best!  This did not happen over night ladies and gents… This is the culmination of 6 years of ups and downs and I’m still fighting every single day!

Today is a flat day, so I need this for myself to remind myself of how far ive come and how good it can feel!

i REALLY needed to draw something so i drew my favorite junkers quickly👌👌

I need to see more big lipped, dark skinned, coarse haired, flat assed, flat chested, wide-nosed, non-shaved women on television pls. and not playing the crazy woman or the girl w/ the bad attitude. I want to see her play a coveted damsel in a wild romance. I want little girls who look like her to see her and feel they r worthy of love exactly the way they r.

A List.

In celebration of me living on my own for almost exactly a year now, here’s a list.

If you’re a mentally 12 yo person who suddenly finds themselves in a flat of their own and has no idea how to adult, hi! Me too. Here’s a list of things I’ve realised are essential p much from the start:

  • some sort of paper towel. Toilet paper, napkins, anything. You can do a lot of cleaning with just paper towels. 
  • Toast. Toast is my best friend. You don’t need any of the other foods, as long as you have some toast.
  • (A toaster. Not as important as the toast itself, but makes all the difference in enjoying it. Also makes you feel like you’re an adult for some reason?? I mean, you’ve got a toaster. V adult.)
  • At least one pot/pan.
  • RUBBISH BAGS. OTHER PLASTIC BAGS. KEEP H&M BAGS FROM YOUR LATEST SHOPPING IF YOU CAN’T FIND ANYTHING ELSE BUT YOU’RE GONNA NEED PLASTIC BAGS.
  • (unless you’re vegan) Milk. You wouldn’t believe how many things you need milk for, and how fast it’s all gone. (Maybe this one’s just me though. I love milk)
  • (again, if you’re non-vegan) EGGS! YOU CAN MAKE SO MUCH OUT OF EGGS. YOU CAN MAKE SCRAMBLED EGG, HARDBOILED EGG, PANCAKES, COOKIES, CAKE, YOUR OWN BREAD okay, maybe that’s for later. But have eggs. They also almost never go bad if you keep them cold enough
  • Coffee. Even if you don’t like coffee (wtf) you’re gonna want coffee. You’re an adult now. You’re gonna have people visit you, and, presuming you’re not the most social person in the world, you’ll want to be able to do something other than talk. Making coffee is a great excuse to move around, and won’t even seem rude! Also you’ll need coffee because seriously, how else do people survive
  • I have realised that this has almost solely been about food up to this point. And food is important, but you know what’s even more important? Sleep.
  • BUY A BED. A REAL BED. NO, NOT JUST A MATTRESS. Honestly, you’re gonna want a bed. You’re not gonna want to buy one, but do it. It’s worth it. And when you’ve purchased one, ASSEMBLE IT. OR MAKE YOUR FRIENDS ASSEMBLE IT. DON’T SIT ON THE CARTONS FOR THREE WEEKS. 
  • Something to organise your clothes in. Doesn’t have to be a huge wardrobe, maybe just a clothes rag and some boxes/a shelf. NOT the boxes from your move. That’s gonna turn into the biggest mess real soon, believe me this one took me way too long
  • More than one mug.
  • Plates. Also more than one. Because IF you ever decide to show off your phenomenal cooking abilities, it’s a real bummer to find out you’ve got nothing to present your perfectly reheated chicken nuggets on.
  • At least one big mixing bowl. You don’t even know how many things you’re gonna want to mix. But you’re a free person now, so, as long as you’ve got a bowl, you can do about anything! But don’t eat an entire bowl of raw cookie dough. Just don’t. Seriously.
  • Sponges. You’re gonna need so many sponges. Also soap. Also more sponges.
  • Scented candles. Because scented candles are great.

I’m by no means an expert, but I have survived on my own for almost a year now, so basically I just wanna pet myself on the shoulder for that thanks me @ me u survived

hey David, you should really get that thing on your neck checked out, looks like it could be poison oak… or bugs…

…particularly… the love-bugs… named Gwen ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

ya never know in these woods, amiright???

All I Wanted; C.H. 20

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10**, part 11*, part 12*, part 13, part 14, part 15**, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19

“He is such a fucking prick. I – I feel so foolish. I kept defending him. I kept taking blow after blow for him. I honestly believed he at least had a bit of genuine interest in me. Boy, was I wrong.” I laugh humourlessly, tears slipping from my eyes as I squeeze them closed. I’ve kept them inside until I stood in front of his apartment.

Eventually, Harry and I ended up here. In his flat. And somehow, I needed to be around him. I felt safe. He is quiet, letting me be. Tears are slowly but steadily pouring from my eyes, my gaze cast upon the ceiling. He is sitting near my legs, gently rubbing them, trying to calm me, soothe me. But it’s not helping the slightest bit.

“Are you alright?” He speaks, his voice seems to have a slight tremor. He takes his stare off of his television and glances over at me, just as I lift my head off of his sofa. “What do you think?” I bite at him, but can’t help but let a hopeless laugh follow immediately. I feel his hands squeeze the skin of my knee before patting it.

“It’ll be alright, in the end, you know.”
“Ah, I do. But right now it fucking sucks and it hurts and I want him to stop breathing.” I wipe my tears from my face, my make-up probably stained beyond belief. I press myself in an upright position, tucking my legs underneath my bum. “Come here.” He smiles, opening his arms for a hug and another sob leaving my lips as I fall into them.

“You know your phone keeps vibrating. Maybe your mate is worried about you.” Harry reaches over and holds my lit up phone in my direction, my fingers reluctantly curling around the rectangle.

Are you alright? Luke said you felt sick. Why didn’t you say anything? Xx

One from Meredith. I type my reply, apologizing for my rapid departure and telling her I’ll get back to her in the morning. The other ones make my stomach churn.

Y/n! Where are you? You aren’t home!

Babe, please, answer me

When are you coming home?

God damn it Y/n, at least let me know you’re safe!

I scoff loudly as I throw my phone to the side, Harry shifting underneath our embrace. “What did he say?” I groan and pick up my phone again, dropping it in his lap. His eyes scan over the messages scattered along my screen before he sighs. “Maybe you should let him know you’re safe.”

“Why? Why should I? It’s not like he took my feelings into account. I need to do shit.” I huff, crossing my arms over my chest as I move away from Harry. He simply laughs heartily, his hand resting on his stomach. “Well, sadness is replaced by anger.”
“Ah, you know me – that shit goes rapidly.” I laugh, shaking my head. “How about a glass of wine?”

************************

“You know, I sort of forgot your drinking skills. Although I think you’ve slacked a bit.” Harry laughs as he empties the bottle into my mug – yes, we drank our wine from a mug. Because that is at least ten times more classy that way – but brings it to his lips to get the last droplets out.

“Oh puh-lease. I’d still win this drinking game if I wanted to.” I chuckle, setting my now empty mug on his tattered coffee table. I’m fascinated by the scratches that coat the surface, most of them made by my heels being slung across the room – ending in him breaking those lovely decorative vases his mum put on that coffee table.
“Ah, yeah. I see that.” Harry laughs as he sets the bottle beside my glass, slowly inching closer towards me.

“But uh – what are you going to do about this little problem that has seem to surfaced?” Harry questions me again – something he knows I loathe but seems to keep doing anyway.
“Do I need to do anything? Yeah maybe stay the fuck away from the bar, that seems like a solid plan.” I laugh boisterously, my hands rubbing over my stomach.

“You need to talk to him. Otherwise this’ll be haunting you for forever, I know you.” Harry throws his arm over my shoulder, hauling me into his solid chest. This feels familiar, something I’ve missed, but at the same time it feels completely wrong.
“Stop reading my mind, Haz. I know I should talk to him, but I don’t want to. I think that what I wanted was something I would never receive anyway, it was going to be something that was going to crash and burn as fast as it has bloomed. I reckon I did this to myself.”

“But isn’t it better to put it at rest so your mind can be at ease, at least?” I know he’s raising an eyebrow at me, even though I can’t see him do so. I know he’s right, finishing this off properly would help me cope, to say it like that. I felt like I was being a stupid ass bitch, because as Calum said – we weren’t together. Well not officially at least, perhaps my mind and heart had raced a bit too far and I sort of felt like – like we were. I don’t know.

“Since when are you such a philosopher?” I mumble, resting my head against his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat calmingly thump against my jaw. I should go talk to Calum, even if it were the last time. But not tonight. Tonight I want to forget. She was fucking right all along. Oh how I can hear Meredith tsk in my head along with the fervently I told you so. I almost groan out loud but am pulled out of my trance by Harry.
“Since we finished two bottles of wine under an hour, Y/n.” Harry speaks so softly, his voice barely a whisper, when I feel his fingertips brush against my jaw.

He slowly turns my head and before I have time to properly respond, I feel his soft lips press against mine. My eyes flutter none the less, this soft kiss being so familiar. It feels awkward and wrong on so many levels and when I lightly push against Harry’s chest, my own aches as I see the hurt flash for a split second.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea right now – with all that’s going on. Sorry.” I mumble, distancing myself from Harry who immediately starts to nod his head. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry. It just felt – well right, like before and – “ he starts stammering, his hands roughly rubbing over his face.

“I understand. Maybe I should just – like leave.” I raise to my feet, sliding into my boots as Harry flies up from his spot on the sofa. “Y/n, you don’t have to – I – I was just being a total dick, you don’t have to leave.”

“I know I don’t, but I should. I’ll text you later, thanks for being my rock.” I lean up and press my lips against Harry’s scruffy cheek, squeezing his biceps once, hoping he’d get it that I don’t blame him for anything – I would’ve probably done the same thing if I wasn’t in my current situation.

************************

Like a paranoid I-don’t-know-what I drove past my house two times to make sure Calum wasn’t parked anywhere near before I drove onto my own driveway. I know I might be childish, but even if I knew a talk was inevitable, I wasn’t planning on doing it when I could still feel my blood boiling – although it could also be the wine coursing through my veins.

I start laughing rather loudly as I gather my personal items from the backseat of my car. “Don’t drink and drive, I tell everyone.” I hiccup, shaking my head at my own irresponsible behaviour. Harry keeps spooking through my head and I feel horrible about even ending up at his place – it felt like I was cheating. Harry thinking it’d be a good idea to kiss me only worsening this – I don’t know – guilt I was experiencing.

Calum may have been a dick and not completely aware of our status, but I thought differently about it and I somehow did the same as he did to me – although he doesn’t know, and isn’t going to ever anyway. I slam my door roughly, almost doing a three hundred and sixty-degree spin and I squeal as loud as my voice allows me to when I spot a shadow behind me.

I’m panting, my nails almost digging into the paintwork of my car as I stare at Calum two meters from me, my heart throbbing in my throat. “WHAT THE FUCK CALUM!” It’s the first that pops to mind and the first that flies past my lips as I try not to vomit.

“Where were you?” Calum steps closer and I’m quick to dodge to the left and make half a circle around him, trying to walk towards my front door without this ending in a discussion on the middle of the street – at two am in the morning, even.
“Excuse me? Like you have any business in where I spend my time.” I seethe, seeing him making my emotions bubble up as if it had happened mere second ago. Him being here wasn’t good for him or me.

“Y/n, don’t be like this. Let me explain.” Calum takes another step in my direction, holding his hand out towards me – but I don’t know what he desires of me. I have nothing left to give him.
“I’m not letting you do anything, Calum. Tonight, don’t expect anything from me. Please disappear off of my driveway before I phone the police. This is trespassing.” I point my car keys towards his feet, raising my eyebrows and barely keeping my stupid ass grin in check. It felt good to be at least a little bit mean and get this anger off of my chest. I see Calum’s features contort into one of pure shock before horror and pain follows but I keep my face as stoic as possible.

“Y/n, babe.. I didn’t mean to – I mean – Please listen to me.” Calum is rapid, but I saw him coming. Within a jiff, I’ve taken quite a few steps back and the distance has remained the same. I sigh deeply, knowing I might not get rid of him as easily as I wanted to – Calum had always had the reputation of being quite persistent.

“I am serious Calum. Please leave me alone. I need some time to get my thoughts in check.” I close my eyes, feeling them watering up again as my mind sobers up – even if it’s just a tiny bit.
“Promise me we’ll talk later.” Calum mumbles, and it sends another jab straight to my heart. How dare me ask something like that of me – I hadn’t even decided if I wanted to see him ever again, and here he is expecting me to let it slide like it were nothing and that we could be over this in a day or two. 

I shake my head as I turn away from him, starting slowly towards my door. I knew he had given up on his persistence to talk this out today, but I can’t help but jab once more towards him before I let this horrible night come to a closing.
“I can’t promise you anything, seeing as how you can’t even keep honesty between mates.”

If you have any hatred towards anyone after this, or anything that’s about to come, I understand. I have it too, lol.
Let me know what you think babes :)