Twenty-Four ~ Part 6 ~ The Harsh Truth
Warnings: depression, drugs, miscarriage, oversdose.
Pairings: Chris X Reader, Sebastian X Reader
Word Count: 1677
- Part 1 ~ 9 years later
- Part 2 ~ Dinner and a Dress
- Part 3 ~ Truths and Premiers
- Part 4 ~ Chris
- Part 5 ~ The Fear
“Nice to see you again, Miss. (Last Name).” He says his cold brown eyes staring a hole through me. “I must say it’s been about what? Eight, nine years, since we’ve seen each other.”
“What do you want?” I say unable to control the fear in my voice.
“Now now (Name), I’m not here to dredge up past memories.”
“Then why are you here?” Karen asks from beside me her eyes narrowing at him in anger. I glance at her confusion filling my eyes. How did she know who he was?
“It’s so lovely to see you again, Karen Mathews right?”
“That’s Ms. Mathews to you; and you didn’t answer my question.” Karen replies, inching further between the roots of all my problems and myself.
“Ah, forgive me Ms. Mathews.” He says his cold brown eyes staring challenging into hers. “I’m not here to start a war, at least not right now at least.” His eyes glance to mine as he continues, “I have to say I didn’t expect to see you here tonight, or at the premier either. I thought we had a deal (Name), I wouldn’t share some key information with the world if you just did what I asked.”
“I did do what you asked.” I say panic filling my voice. “I didn’t come here for him, if I had it my way I would’ve stayed away forever.”
“Then why are you here?” He asks angrily making my body break out in a cold sweat.
“It’s because I asked her.” Sebastian says his face filled with anger.
“Ah it’s nice to meet you Mr. Stan.” He replies his demeanor changing to a bright smile which only caused me to shudder. “I’m Marvin Grey, a Reporter for the New York Times Entertainment Division. I have to say I was really impressed with your portrayal of the Winter Soldier.”
“Thanks,” Sebastian says curtly trying his best not to lose his temper. Marvin glances back and forth between me and Sebastian before a devious smile covers his lips. I grip tightly to Karen’s hand as all sorts of fears run through my mind. Would he make me hurt Sebastian like I had hurt Chris? I felt Karen squeeze my hand back and a little bit of the fear starts to subside. “I see I’m unwanted,” Marvin says clearing his throat. “I shall take my leave. Mr. Stan, Ms. Mathews, (Name).” Then with a sneer he turns and disappears into crowd.
“(Name) are you okay?” I hear Sebastian ask and I slowly shake my head. “Come on, let’s sit down.” He says grabbing my free hand and pulling me toward a table in the back. Reaching it he sets me down into a chair before placing a cup of water on the table in front of me.
“Thank you,” I say as I reach forward and grabbing the glass quickly bring it to my lips.
“I know you might not wanna tell me what that was about, but please,” Sebastian pauses his hands resting on my arm. “I can’t stand seeing you hurt.” My heart clenches as I look from him to Karen who just silently nods. I glance across the room to where Chris was smiling and laughing happily with his friends and my heart clenches.
“I guess it’s time I told someone, might as well be my best friends huh?” I say offering a sad smile causing the two of them to nod. I gulp down a breath of air as I stare down into my glass and start to tell them my story. “It happened right after Emily died, I was in a real bad place, and you remember how I shut everyone out.” I say as I look at Karen who nods. “It was a few days before I went and told Chris that I didn’t love him anymore. I was in it real deep. I was drugged and boozed out of my mind. I was royally fucked up because I thought it was my fault. I thought if I hadn’t been with Chris I could have answered her phone call and saved her.”
“It wasn’t your fault (Name).” Karen says and I slowly nod. There was nothing no one could say that would ever change the way I felt.
“I don’t remember much about that time but when I came too I was in a hospital bed with Jack sitting next to me his face in his hands.”
“Jack? Why was he there?”
“Apparently he was still listed as my emergency contact. Any ways, of course I asked him why he was there and what happened.” Tears started to fill my eyes as I somehow found the courage to continue. “He said that I had taken so many drugs and drank so much that I had done the same thing as Emily and overdosed; but that wasn’t even the worst of it.” Karen’s grip tightens on my hand offering me moral support as I continue, “It seems that I had been two months pregnant at the time.” Karen gasps as she realizes whose baby it had been. “I lost my baby. I was distraught. I was borderline suicidal. Surprisingly though Jack was very helpful. He stayed with me, forced me to take my medicine and to stop drinking. He was a real godsend, which surprised the hell outta me cause before he was so mean.”
“I guess getting a phone call that your ex had almost died freaked him out enough to wake his abusive ass up.” Karen interjects matter of fact-ly.
“Apparently so. It was while Jack was still staying with me that Chris showed up one day wondering why I hadn’t answered the phone or contacted him. He saw Jack there, who was kind of an ass to Chris if I remember correctly, and automatically assumed I had cheated on him and went back to Jack. He left angrily not giving me a chance to explain. I was about to go after him when a reporter showed up on my doorstep and threatened to reveal the whole story, which would ruin not only my career but it would have done worse to Chris’s, he told me that if I ended things with Chris and stayed away from him he’d keep the whole thing secret. Even though it killed me I went to Chris’s apartment and told him the biggest lie of my entire life. I told him I didn’t love him anymore and that I never wanted to see him again.”
“And until today you kept that promise.” Sebastian says regretfully as he realizes that it’s because he asked me to go with him.
“Seb, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know. No one did.” I say turning my attention to him as I pull my hand from Karen’s and gently touch Seb’s cheek. “It’ll be alright. I’m a lot stronger than I used to be.”
“You have to tell Chris.” Seb says and my heart drops.
“(Name) he has a right to know the truth, all of it.”
“I won’t do that to him. I’m not gonna tell him that I lost our baby all those years ago and that’s why I shut him out. I can’t do that to him.”
“Is it really him you’re trying to protect, or yourself?” Karen asks and my heart drops.
“Both.” I reply as I push away from the table and standing up walk away from them and toward the bar. I was seriously craving a drink and somewhere quiet. At least I could have one of the two. Smiling politely I weave through the crowd until I make it out to the terrace. Thankfully there was no one else there so I walk over to the railing and leaning against it I let out a heavy sigh. I knew I should tell Chris everything but I was scared. I know that you’re thinking, that’s a stupid excuse but I can’t help it.
“I figured I’d find you out here.” I hear a familiar voice say and I feel butterflies dance in my stomach. I gulp down a breath of air as he walks up beside me and leans on the railing his arm inches from mine. “You looked spooked, are you okay?”
“Honestly?” I ask as I turn toward him my eyes finding his. “I don’t really know what I’m doing here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I hurt you Chris; if you knew everything you’d run away and never look back.”
“(Name), I just want the truth. All of it. I know you were going through a lot because of Emily’s death but I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to help you through it.”
“Chris you don’t understand,” I fold my arms over my chest as I try to keep my cool.
“Then tell me so I will.”
“I can’t!” I reply a little louder than I mean to causing his jaw to clench. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”
“(Name),” He says closing the distance between us his hands reaching up to rest on my shoulders. “I understand that there are some things you are scared to tell me. I know you are worried about hurting me and more importantly yourself; but I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” He offers me a reassuring smile and I feel my fears melt away.
“What if it’s something you’d never forgive me for?” I ask my eyes begging him for an honest answer.
“We’ll deal with that when it comes to it. I just want a second chance at what we had; no scratch that. I don’t want what we had.” He pauses and my heart clenches. “I want to start over. I’ll wait for you to tell me everything in your own time. I won’t push you. We’ll take things slow. What do you say?”
Everything in my head screams at me to say no, to walk away and never look back. I lean forward and placing my head on his chest say, “Okay, we’ll try again.”