i-meant-bathroom

anonymous asked:

So I go to a public middle school, and let me tell you: it gets weird. About a week ago, these red signs posted by the principal started appearing on the bathroom doors, until every bathroom in the school had them. They read: Doors must stay open at all times! Everyone was really confused, because it's awkward to leave bathroom doors open, and they've never had to be open before. I learned from this one kid that apparently some kids started a fight club and were fighting in the bathrooms.

I thought that meant the bathroom stall doors at first

Okay, so if we have Keith and Lance as Connor Murphy and Evan Hansen…

I kinda want Lance and Hunk as Jeremy Heere and Michael Mell.

You Okay, Doll?

Originally posted by thespoilerwitchblog

Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word count: 683
Request@trinityjadec Yay!! Okay so I don’t know where this came from, but I’ve recently been sO obsessed with Bucky Barnes. So I was wondering if you could possibly do one where the reader is in the shower and Bucky asks if she’s in there and if he can come in. She says yes, thinking he means come into the bathroom, but he means the shower with her, so he’s surprised when she says yes. And he joins her, surprising her and making her a little self conscious since they aren’t dating, and fluffiness happens??


You’d been using Bucky’s shower for a few days now, while yours was being ripped out, the pipes replaced, then the entire thing redone. It would take a week or two. He didn’t mind, and had given you a key to his place. All he asked is that if it was after a certain time, call first. Some nights were rougher than others, so you understood.

That afternoon you’d gone hard in your workout. Harder than usual. By the time you were done, you had sweat dripping from you, stray hairs that had fallen out were stuck to your face and neck, your cheeks were red, and your muscles ached. All you wanted was the sweet relief that a hot shower would bring.   

As you moved towards Bucky’s apartment, you had your towel thrown over your shoulder. Walking from his place, to yours, in nothing but a towel didn’t bother you one bit. Unwrapping the tape from around your hands, you flexed your fingers, letting out a content sigh. While you loved the burn working out, once you were done, you hated how confined you felt in your workout gear, and how sweaty you were.


The first 5 minutes in the shower was you just standing there. Your hands were against the tiles, head under the spray of hot water, eyes closed. You could feel your muscles slowly relaxing, the heat feeling more amazing than any massage could. Rolling your shoulders, you groaned at how good it felt.

Just as you pulled your head from under the water, you heard a knock at the bathroom door. “You in there, doll?” Came Bucky’s voice.

Chuckling, you peeked around the shower curtain. “No, it’s Bruce.” You teased.

“Wow, Bruce. Your voice got way more feminine.” He joked back. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, I can’t see why not.” You shrugged and leaned your head back under the water before grabbing the shampoo. Your eyes were closed as you lathered up your hair, enjoying the scent.

The door opened, and shut, so you knew that he was in the room. Which didn’t bother you. However, you weren’t prepared for when the curtain pulled back and he stepped in behind you. You felt a pink tint cover your body. “Can I get some water?” He chuckled.

Licking your lips, you nodded. “Uh, yeah. Just let me rinse my hair…” You told him. Usually, you’d tilt you’d put your back to the water and lean your head back. With a very naked Bucky standing there, you simply put your head down under the water, running your hands through it.

Once you were satisfied, you straightened and awkwardly let him move by you. “You okay, doll?” He asked after he wet his own hair down. You were looking everywhere but at him as you put conditioner in your hair.

“Just…wasn’t expecting…this.” You blushed, motioning over him.

Bucky laughed, lathering his own hair up. “I asked if I could come in.” He reminded you.

Finally you looked at him. “I thought you meant the bathroom!” You gasped. “I didn’t think you meant IN the shower!”

He had a grin on his face. “Awe, is someone shy?” He teased.

“I’m standing naked in your shower. With a naked you.” You raised an eyebrow, finally covering your chest. His eyes on you made you feel more exposed.

Bucky held his hands up. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.” He winked before leaning his head back and quickly rinsing his dark hair. “Come here, let me wash your back.” You were snapped from your thoughts as he held up an already soapy loofah.

Biting your lip, you turned, moving your hair out of the way. “Thanks.” You said softly.

“No problem.” He told you, surprising you when he kissed the side of your neck. “Stay with me tonight?” Bucky’s voice was soft.

You looked over your shoulder at him. “What?”

It was his turn to look bashful. “Uh, I…” He chuckled. “Not like that. I meant just…stay?”

Blushing, you nodded. “I’d like that.” You agreed with a smile.

Keep reading

CHAPTER 6: Out with the Old

Trigger warnings: Sexual content, alcohol, self-doubt.




“Do you think Spencer is acting weird?” Hanna asked, as she watched Mona get ready for bed. “I mean, like, weirder than normal.”

“Give an example,” Mona called over her shoulder as she headed into the bathroom.

“I don’t know,” Hanna’s voice drifted lazily from the main room. “When the hell did Spencer refer to Ali as ‘the blonde one’?”

Mona splashed cold water on her face and gently padded her skin dry. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard her call her that,” she said loudly so Hanna could hear her over the running water. “Have you?”

There was a thump from somewhere in the room, followed by giggling. “I fell off the bed,” Hanna announced. “I think it moved.“

A wry smirk appeared on Mona’s lips, and she shook her head. “Are you alright?“

“There’s a Cheeto under the bed!” Hanna exclaimed suddenly.

Mona rolled her eyes. Intoxicated Hanna was certainly a handful, but she was also adorable. And that was very frustrating.

“Can I eat it?” Hanna called.

“Uh,” Mona shut off the faucet. “I wouldn’t.”

“Why not?“ Hanna sounded genuinely sad.

“You don’t know how long it’s been there.” Mona snapped off the bathroom light and headed over to their bed. “Oh, for Pete’s sake…”

Sure enough, Hanna was sprawled out on the floor, one leg bent at the knee, stuck under the nightstand. Her upper body was under the bed, and it looked like she was having a hard time getting up.

“Need some help?” Mona asked, amused.

“Yes, please,” Hanna nodded, like Mona could see.

Mona smiled affectionately and bent down to help ease Hanna out from under the bed. “Alright, come on.”

“Mmkay,” Hanna muttered.

Mona managed to pull her to her feet, and Hanna fell into her. Luckily she was able to steady herself before they both fell against the nightstand.

“Whoa,” Hanna shook her head. “The room is spinning.”

“Easy there,” Mona said, helping Hanna onto to the bed. She sat down next to her. “Better?” she asked with a soft smile.

“Remember when we kissed?” Hanna scrunched up her nose.

“Hanna, that just happened, like, an hour or so ago.”

“Did it?” Hanna frowned.

“Yes,” Mona said.

“Oh…” Hanna let out a puff of air. “Want to do it again?”

Mona’s eyes widened and she bit her lip. “No, Hanna.”

“How come?” Hanna pouted. She threaded her fingers in Mona’s hair and twisted the end locks around her index finger.

“You’re drunk,” Mona answered carefully. Her eyes flitted around the room, and tried to ignore the fact that Hanna’s fingers kept grazing her neck, and brushing over her collarbone.

“Your skin is so soft,” Hanna remarked. She pressed herself closer to Mona and shifted so she was practically in her lap.

“W-We should go to bed,” Mona croaked. “It’s l-late. I’m tired…”

“You’re sexy,” Hanna murmured into Mona’s ear. She found herself pressing closer still, and planted soft kisses down Mona’s cheek and to her neck.

“H-Hanna…” Mona sighed. “Stop. Please.”

Hanna groaned and moved away from Mona. She crawled over to the side of the bed nearest to the wall. “Okay, I get it. I’m not enough for you.”

“What?” Mona swallowed. She settled next to Hanna. “What are you talking about?”

Hanna’s eyes glistened with tears. “I’m ta-talking about the fact that y-you- that I’m not enough for you,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I mean, I know I’m not hot like Emily is, but I just thought…”  She broke off with an irritated sigh. “Forget it.”

“No,” Mona shook her head. “Hanna, listen to me. Emily’s hot, okay? I don’t think anyone can deny that, but she’s not you. You are breathtaking, Hanna.” She bit her lip and shifted closer to her friend. “I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Your eyes are just…these pools of blue that I could swim in for hours on end, and you have the most beauteous smile.”

Hanna turned to look at Mona. “R-really?”

“Yes,” Mona picked up Hanna’s hand and kissed her palm. “I promise.”

“Mona?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s beauteous mean?” Hanna rested her head against Mona’s shoulder.

“It’s just another word for beautiful,” Mona smiled. She linked their fingers together and squeezed.

“Can we watch TV?”

“Sure,” Mona grinned, grabbing the remote off the nightstand and turning on the television. “Anything particular?”

“I don’t care,” Hanna said.

Mona reached over and snatched her bottled water off the nightstand and handed it off to Hanna. “Okay. And drink this. We need to keep you hydrated.”

Hanna clumsily uncapped the water bottle and downed the rest of its contents in the time it took Mona to flip through two channels. She let out a breath of relief and closed her eyes. “God. Water is the best invention since…always.”

Mona chose not to tell Hanna that water wasn’t actually invented, and instead retrieved another bottle for her from the room’s mini fridge. She curled up comfortably next to the blonde, as they watched some crappy late-night drama. It was the most relaxed Mona had felt since before her stay in the hospital. And it was a damn good feeling.


“They’re finally out,” Alison sighed, crawling into bed next to Emily. Alison’s legs felt like rubber, and her stomach churned uncomfortably.

“Thank goodness,” Emily mumbled through a yawn.

“Em, you know how much I love you, right? I would never do anything to hurt you or our girls?” Alison said, wincing as her head throbbed with a sharp burst of pain.

Emily wrapped Alison up in her arms and held her close. “I know. I love you, too, Ali,” she said. “Hanna didn’t mean it. She just had too much to drink.”

“Mona didn’t drink,” Alison pointed out. “I know I was mean to her. I was awful to her, but I’m not the same person I was when I was a kid. Are any of us?”

Emily brushed a lock of Alison’s hair behind her ear. “I know, baby. I really don’t think Mona meant it. I think she’s just hurting. She just got out of the hospital. She’s sick.”

“Do you think the way Mona turned out is my fault?” Alison asked quietly.

“What?” Emily frowned. “No! Why would you ask something like that?”

Alison looked away. “I think I ruined her life,” she croaked. Her voice broke on the last word and she couldn’t stop the tears that fell from her eyes. “If I wasn’t such a bitch, maybe she would be okay. Maybe…”

“Ali,” Emily interrupted, “Stop. What happened with Mona isn’t your fault. What happened to us wasn’t your fault, okay?”

“Emily…” Alison said tiredly. “Come on. We all know I’m responsible for what happened to you and the others. Remember what Lucas said about his emails? Sometimes I think I really should have died…”

Emily shook her head and hugged Alison, resting her chin on top of her head. “Listen to me, Alison DiLaurentis. It’s true that you have made many mistakes in your life; everyone has.”

“Em—” Alison started, but Emily cut her off with a gentle kiss to her lips.

Emily held Alison’s face between her hands and stared into her eyes. “Don’t you think less of yourself, even for a second. Don’t you dare think you are in any way undeserving of your life. Of this life we have made for our girls and ourselves. You are the strongest woman I know, and I love you.”

Alison sniffled. “I-I’m so lucky to have you,” she whispered.

Emily wiped away Alison’s tears with her thumbs and leaned in for another kiss. “We are lucky to have each other. To have our little family,” she murmured against her lips.

Alison rested her forehead against Emily’s. “I love you, Emily Fields. You, Lily and Grace are my whole world.”

“I love you, too, Ali DiLaurentis.”

“Fields,” Alison whispered.

“What?” Emily asked, confused.

“Fields,” Alison repeated. “When we get married, I want to hyphen our last names.” She smiled warmly and pressed her lips to Emily’s neck. “So, future Mrs. DiLaurentis-Fields, what do you say?”

Emily’s eyes filled with tears and she quickly blinked them away. “I think it sounds perfect.”


Alex was never one for sappy clichés. She used to think they were stupid. Exaggerated, even. Except she was wrong, because in this moment, with Aria’s lips on hers, Alex experienced every cliché in the book: she heard fireworks and bells. Her heart felt like it had catapulted into her throat, and her stomach unraveled from its tight knots.

“Aria,” Alex rasped. “W- What –”

But Aria only pressed into her more and crawled into her lap, snaking her arms around Spencer’s neck. Aria’s head swam pleasantly at the feeling of Spencer’s lips. She tasted like beer and some other flavor Aria couldn’t quite place, but it was tangy-like and it made her lips tingle.

“Spencer,” Aria breathed, breaking their kiss. “You’re not supposed to talk.” She smirked at her and dropped kisses on her neck.

Alex shut her eyes. Her nerves cracked and goose bumps trickled up her arms. She let out a surprised yelp when Aria’s teeth nipped at her neck, and her tongue followed after to soothe any pain.

“You’re so beautiful,” Aria murmured against Spencer’s skin. She started to slide her hands under Spencer’s shirt, but Spencer grabbed both her wrists. “What’s wrong?” Aria asked, pulling back with a look of confusion.

Alex’s face was flushed and her heart was beating so hard in her chest she was sure Aria could hear it. “W-We can’t,” she managed. “I – you – we’re drunk. You’re upset over Ezra…”

“I don’t love him,” Aria said determinedly. “I know I don’t.”

“I—” Alex swallowed and she gently eased away from Aria. “I – I have to go to the loo.”

“The what?” Aria look puzzled.

“T-the bathroom,” Alex managed. “I meant the bathroom…”

“Okay…” Aria shook her head and crawled toward Spencer on the bed, her eyes twinkling roguishly. “You know, I think I should take a shower.” She pushed herself up on her knees and grinned at Spencer, leaning in so close she could smell the liquor on her breath. “Want to join me? You know how I am about saving the environment…”

Alex inhaled shakily. “I – uh, I think —”

Aria reached out and grazed her fingers over Spencer’s collarbone, and held her gaze. “I saw you looking down my shirt,” she said casually. “Earlier, when I gave you a lap dance…”

Alex’s cheeks flushed. “I..didn’t m –”

Ringggg.

Alex’s words were drowned out by the loud sound of her phone ringing, and she leapt at the chance to get away from Aria. Thank goodness.

“I – I have to take this.” She hurried into the bathroom, shut the door and locked it. Alex answered her phone and slid down to the floor with her back against the door.

“What?” Alex snapped into the receiver.

“When are you coming back? You can’t expect me to babysit all night. I can’t take Ezra’s begging anymore. Jesus Christ, he doesn’t shut up!”

“Toby, I don’t have time for this,” Alex groaned. “Give him a sedative.”

“Should I give one to Spencer, too?”

Alex tilted her head up and stared at the ceiling. “Does she need one?”

“I don’t know.”

Alex huffed and ran her hand through her hair. “Give her the phone.”

There was a muffled, static-like sound before Spencer’s voice rang out from the other end.

“What do you want now?”

Alex couldn’t help but grin. Spencer sounded so irritated. She hummed and examined her nails. “Hello, dear. You sound pleased to hear from me.”

“Alex….”

“Listen, luv. I know this isn’t any fun for you, but it is very exciting for me. I realize this is a lot to process, so perhaps you’d like a sedative? Toby’s gonna fetch one for Ezra.”

“Sure, if it’s strong enough to kill me.”

“Oh, come now. I can’t have you dying on me. Relax and enjoy some peace and quiet for once in your life,” Alex said gleefully. She stood up and checked her reflection in the mirror. “I reckon you really ought to settle down. Yer gonna give yourself gray hairs.”

“Fuck you.”

Alex smirked. “Be a bit weird, no? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t like to keep it in the family. I know that’s a sore subject for ya.”

“…Was that comment really necessary?”

“Give the phone back to Toby. You’re obviously cranky. Have you had yourself a nap? Naps do wonders for crabby children, you know.” Alex opened the medicine cabinet to find it empty and shut it again. She looked tired in her reflection, and her eyes were a little glassy. Her lips looked dry, too. “Do as you’re told and I might reward you, Spencer.”

You little fu – ”

Alex heard Spencer curse loudly and there was an inaudible sound before Toby’s voice floated through.

“You’d better get back here soon, Alex. I’ll talk to you later.”

There was a pause and then Alex heard Toby shouting. “OH, MY GOD. EZRA, SHUT THE HELL UP.”

Alex hit END, erased the call and shoved her phone back in her pocket. When she walked out into the main room, she found Aria sleeping. Her dark hair was scattered across her pillow, and her chest rose steadily as she slept.

“God, she’s so beautiful,” Alex sighed. She sauntered over and flipped down the light switch, then slid under the covers next to Aria. Aria looked so peaceful sleeping, and Alex couldn’t resist in reaching out and brushing her hair behind her ear. “We’ll be the closest of all,” she whispered. Alex had no doubt that they would, indeed, be closest – especially as girlfriends.

Alex grabbed Spencer’s phone off the nightstand next to her side of the bed, and shifted so she was in front of Aria, before grinning and snapping a picture. It was one of many she and the girls had taken throughout the night, and Alex made a mental note to send all photos to her actual phone. She sighed and kissed Aria’s nose. “Goodnight, sweet angel of mine.”


Mona wasn’t sure when it had happened, but all she knew was this: Hanna Marin was naked on top of her, kissing her as if her life depended on it. And she was a damn good kisser.

The blonde had sobered up quite a bit and was coherent enough to satisfy Mona’s need for consent. Even after Hanna had shimmied out of her clothes and practically tore Mona’s off, the brunette had asked over and over whether Hanna was okay with what they were doing. And Hanna certainly was.

“Hanna,” Mona breathed, as the blonde’s lips found her neck. “God, Hanna.”

Hanna smirked against Mona’s neck and gently bit her skin, causing a shudder from the girl underneath her. “You’re so beautiful,” she murmured. Her tongue traced along Mona’s collarbone, while one hand squeezed Mona’s breast and the other dipped between her thighs, where she drew shapes on smooth skin with the pads of her fingertips.

Electricity shot through Mona and she groaned, arching into Hanna’s touch. Her body felt like it was on fire; every neuron fired and she felt so alive. Every touch of Hanna’s fingers sent excited tingles zip-zapping up her spine and her fingers lost themselves in Hanna’s blond tresses, gently pushing down on her head.

“Someone’s eager, huh?” Hanna murmured. She obliged with what Mona had silently asked, and trailed kisses down between the valley of Mona’s breasts. She rolled her tongue over a stiff nipple, and Mona gasped sharply.

“Fuck, Hanna,” Mona groaned. “You feel so good.”

Hanna hummed in response and kissed her way down Mona’s smooth stomach. She could feel herself getting aroused and she nipped at Mona’s navel. “Help me out and I’ll help you out.”

Mona didn’t need to be told twice. She sat up and pulled Hanna into her lap. Her delicate fingers traced Hanna’s clit, her thumb flicking over it ever so gently.

“Oh, God,” Hanna moaned. She kissed Mona hard, and slid her fingers through Mona’s slick folds. Her fingers slipped inside easily, and when she felt Mona’s fingers enter her, she bit down on Mona’s lip in sheer pleasure.

Mona broke their kiss to catch her breath. Hanna’s blue eyes were dark with lust and desire, and her mischievous smile sent excited shivers up her spine. She grinned and crashed their lips together, falling back against the pillows and reaching over to snap off the bedside lamp. The two women were plunged into darkness as they let themselves go and connected in a way both of them had wanted for so long. Mona and Hanna had finally become one, and it was something neither of them would ever forget.


“What’s the deal with Hanna?” Emily asked Mona, as the two waited in line to get breakfast. The group was in one of the little cafés in the Radley’s lobby, and everyone else had already gotten their food. “I said ‘hi’ to her and she told me to go away. She said noises hurt her eyes…”

“Yeah, uh, she’s really hung over. I think she’s still pissed I wouldn’t let her eat a Cheeto she found under our bed last night,” Mona said, glancing in Hanna’s direction to see her holding her head in both hands. Memories of last night flooded back to her and she smiled.

“One time Hanna ate a grape she found on the floor of my car,” Emily replied. “It was gross.”

“Ew. Hey, where’s Ali?” Mona asked, noticing the blonde was missing. “Is she still sleeping?” Mona moved forward in line and grabbed two bagels, one for herself and one for Hanna.

Emily sighed. “Jason wants the kids for the day, so she’s making sure everything they’ll need is packed. I think—”

But Mona was only half-listening, her gaze focused yet again on their table. Spencer and Aria sat across from Hanna, and they were whispering giggling amongst themselves.

“Do you think they hooked up last night?” Mona asked, jerking head in the direction of their friends.

“Who?” Emily followed Mona’s gaze. “Aria and Spencer? No way. Why, do you?”

Mona scooped a pile of fresh fruit onto her plate. “I don’t know. Spencer looked awfully comfortable during Aria’s lap dance last night.”

“I could say the same about you during your kiss with Hanna,” Emily teased.

Mona flushed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Em.”

“Uh-huh.” Emily ducked around Mona so she could reach the eggs and bacon. “By the way, nice hickey.”  

With that, Emily was gone, sauntering back over to their table, leaving Mona both annoyed and impressed with Emily’s observation. It wasn’t the first time she had underestimated Emily, and she was certain it wouldn’t be the last, either. 



“I miss the girls,” Emily sighed, curling up next to Alison on their couch. “I wonder what they’re doing..”

Alison stretched out and rested her head in Emily’s lap, her feet propped on the arm of the couch. “Jason is taking them shopping,” she giggled. “He spoils them more than we do.”

Emily laughed and threaded her fingers through Alison’s golden hair. “Remember when Grace threw up all over his shirt?”

“And Lily pooped on him while he was trying to change her diaper,” Alison snickered. “He took it like a champ. He really is a great uncle.”

“Absolutely,” Emily nodded. She grinned down at Alison. “Did I ever mention how beautiful you are?”

“Hmm. You might have,” Alison joked. “Did I ever mention how incredibly sexy you are?”

“Four times so far,” Emily smirked. “And it’s only noon. You know, we could use this free time to our advantage..”

“Yeah?” Alison grinned and sat up, a knowing glint in her eyes. “What did you have in mind?”

Emily got up and held out her hand for Alison to take. “Allow me to show you.”


The worry over Ezra’s disappearance had all but evaporated, and Alex was grateful she had Toby. Toby-as-Ezra had used Ezra’s phone to send a long, half-assed message to Aria, in which he broke off their relationship, told her not to contact him, and wished her well – the last part was clever on Toby’s part, Alex would later admit to herself.

As it was, announcements of the now-cancelled wedding were made to various friends and family members. Luckily, the catering staff was very understanding and refunded Aria’s money, as did the reception hall. When Alex had left Aria at the Radley, she was on the phone with the airlines and resort in France, trying to get her money back.Alex wasn’t sure whether she was successful. 

Alison and Emily had gone home to do god-knows-what, and Hanna had gone shopping with Mona. Alex didn’t miss the hickey on the side of Mona’s neck, nor the deep scratches in Hanna’s shoulders. It was rather amusing, and Alex was already formulating how she could use the new information to her advantage.

It was just after noon when she pulled up in the Hastings’ driveway. Alex killed the engine and just sat back, admiring the large home. It was gorgeous, and it made Alex envious, as she thought of the multiple, crappy homes she had lived in growing up. Spencer really was a lucky git. She got out and unlocked the front door with the copy she had made of Spencer’s key. Almost as soon as she walked in, she found herself face-to-face with Veronica and Peter.

“Spencer, where the hell have you been?” Veronica asked. She was starting to show signs of aging; worry lines ceased her forehead and there were deep, dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep.

“We’ve been worried sick,” Peter added, stepping forward. “Look, I know things have been tense around here lately. I know you’re trying to process information, and you’re probably confused, but we would appreciate a phone call if you’re not coming home.”

Alex licked her lips. Finally, she had them to herself. “Mom. Dad.” The word dad felt sour on her tongue, and it left a funny taste in her mouth. “I think we should talk.”

Blind Date

@gay-ghostboy asked for Arkham Inmates on blind dates with each other

Edward waltzed into the diner and asked a waiter if there was someone waiting for their date. The waiter pointed in the direction of a handsome young man, Edward’s heart thumped.
“Him?” Edward pointed at the handsome, bearded young man.
“No, his date is in the bathroom. I meant the short guy.” Explained the waiter.
Edward’s eyes shifted to the booth beyond that, and spied Jervis Tetch sitting alone, fiddling with a white rose. Edward quickly ran back outside and tore his phone from his pocket. He dialed a friend.
“Jonathan!” He yelled.
“It is ten o'clock, Nygma. What the hell do you want?” Jonathan asked in a tired voice.
“An explanation as to why I’ve been set up with Jervis!”
Crane began howling with laughter.
“That’s who I set you up with? I thought I gave you both someone else’s number.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“Sit down, make conversation, maybe kiss a little. Whatever you’d like to do.” Crane said annoyed.
“I’m serious, Jonathan. How do I get out of this without hurting his feelings?”
“You do your damn best, that’s how. You hurt my friends feelings I will come after you, now be an adult, and hang out with him. He’s been depressed lately and could use a good night.” Crane ranted.
“Ugh, fine. You owe me!” Riddler said, hanging up.

He walked back inside and sat down at the booth, Jervis looking up.
“Edward, what’re you doing here? Oh this is simply delightful, an unexpected surprise. My date should be here any minute, you can meet her! Or him, whichever Jonathan set me up with. Maybe we can-” He was interrupted in the middle of his rant.
“I’m your date, Jervis.” Edward said, attempting not to sound disappointed.
“Oh.” He said with a smirk.
“Oh? OH? You get set up with ME and you’re disappointed, I am the best this city has to offer, I can’t believe this disrespect-” He began.
“Mr. Nygma, I meant no disrespect. I was a bit surprised is all, I am quite happy this was the setup.” Jervis said.
Edward suddenly regretted saying anything at all. Jervis handed him the white rose, having to reach over the table. Edward squinted at the gift offered, and reluctantly accepted it. A waitress came over, Jervis ordered a mug of tea and Edward ordered coffee.
“That is a lovely suit.” Jervis told Edward.
“Why thank you.” He was never the type to turn down flattery.
The waitress came back and set their drinks before them, Jervis immediately took a sip of the steaming liquid.
“How is your tea?”
“Watery.” He claimed, setting it back down.
“My coffee is as well.”
“Brewing isn’t every mans forte I suppose.” Jervis said.
“No, but it’s an easy concept. However, not all minds are sharp enough to heat water to a proper temperature and put a bag in it.” Edward said with disdain. Jervis smiled at the remark. Edward was flattered that Jervis drew even the smallest amount of elation from his insult.
“You’re smiling.”
“Yes, that is what people do when they find something funny.” Jervis laughed.
“So you enjoyed my quip?”
“It was a bit rude to people who can’t make a cup of tea but they’ll get over it.” Jervis smirked, taking another drink.
“Can you believe Jonathan drinks this stuff cold?” Jervis said.
“Sweet tea is a southern thing.” Edward explained.
“It’s a terrible and inhuman thing. You brew it hot, you should drink it hot.” Jervis said.
“To each their own.”
“I guess.”

A man quietly approached them.
“May we help you?” Edward glared.
“We are notifying the police that you’re here.” Said the man, Jervis coughed on his drink.
“Why would you?” Edward asked, pretending not to know what he was talking about.
“We know who you are.”
“And who am I?” Edward asked quizzically.
“You’re the Riddler, and he is the Mad Hatter.”
“Why, I am flattered you’d mistake me for such a handsome stud! I’m just… really, thank you. But you’ve got the wrong man.” Edward laughed nervously.“
Jervis looked at his drink nervously.
"Does he have anything to say?” The man gestured to Jervis. Jervis gave him a glare.
“That’s my answer.” The man coughed.
“Say, Edward, do you have the time?” Jervis asked loudly.
“No, what time is it?” He asked nervously.
“TEA TIME!” Jervis yelled frantically, throwing his cup of tea at the man, who stumbled backwards.
The two frail criminals ran for the exit, screaming and flailing, everyone in the diner watching with confusion.

anonymous asked:

So why does Yato belong in slytherin?

Oh, anon. Thank you so much for asking.

Before I jump in, let me say this really isn’t intended to antagonize people who wish to sort Yato differently. However, I deeply respect and agree with @yatorihell‘s decision to sort Yato into Slytherin in her AU, for the following reasons:

  • In canon, Yato displays more Slytherin traits than he does traits of any other house.
  • Sorting him into this house deploys an intriguing relationship dialectic between Slytherin Yato, Gryffindor Hiyori, and Hufflepuff Yukine.
  • Yato’s motives and behaviors in canon align with more than a few typical Slytherin-esque motives and behaviors (see below: self-preservation, resourcefulness, determination, ambition, fraternity)
  • And finally, being sorted into Slytherin does not equal “being evil.” Frankly, I find it alarming anyone would jump to this conclusion at all, considering that the basic qualities of Slytherin house are fundamentally admirable.

(More under the cut)

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anonymous asked:

Part 3 of stripping and gawking, if you're up for it? You're absolutely lovely btw

Oh, my gosh.  Thank you so much for the compliment!  Here is the last part of Stripping and Gawking, comin’ ‘atcha!

(Part 1  Part 2)


As you and Spencer stand on your porch, your face red with embarrassment as you huff and puff, you look up at him with sad eyes as you sigh deeply.

“I don’t know where they are…” you trail off.

“See?  This is why I wanted to ride home with you,” he says, reaching over and taking a bobby pin out of your hair.

Your hair still glittered from the hairspray.

“What are you-”

As you cock your head, watching boy genius pick your front door lock, he smile up at you as he throws your front door open.

Shaking your head as you walk through, he comes in behind you and closes your door.

“Wait, Spenc-”

“Well, what if someone finds your keys?  And tries to get in or steal your car?  I’m staying,” he says, knowing exactly what you’re going to ask.

“Spencer,” you say, your voice getting a little more stern, “Stop cutting me off.”

Watching as his face flushes, he throws the lock on your door as he drops his bag off to the side, “I’m just worried.”

“And that’s fine,” you stress, turning around and tossing your bag in to your room, “But you’re being a bit…odd about it,” you admit.

“Odd?” he asks, his voice cracking as he whips his gaze to you, “H-how do you mean?”

“Spencer…” you drift off, taking in a deep breath before meandering over to your kitchen, “You’ve been odd ever since we wrapped this case up.”

As the silence permeates the room, you open your fridge as you furrow your brow, disappointed with your lack of options for something to drink.

“I knew I should’ve gone to the store,” you mutter under your breath.

Closing it as you turn around, you see Spencer staring at you, his hands wringing together as his face grows redder.

“I know, I know, I’m covered in this glitter crap,” you say, crossing the room as you leave a trail in your wake, “Let me go get a shower really quickly.  Please, make yourself at home.”

As Spencer nods quickly, stealing a quick gaze before darting his vision over to your couch, you furrow your brow at him as you sulk off to your bathroom.

Sighing as you step under the warm water, watching as the glitter slowly twists and turns down the drain, you hear the bathroom door creak open.

“Spencer?” you call out, stopping mid-shampoo as you wipe your eyes.

“I-I know this is awkward…” he calls out over the running water, “…but there’s an explanation, b-but I can’t look at you while saying it.”

“Alright…?” you ask, curiosity in your voice, “Then go ahead.  I mean, you can’t see anything through the shower anyway.”

Hearing him close the door, you wait impatiently as you wash the shampoo out of your hair.

“Spencer?” you call out.

Running your conditioner through your hair, sighing as you feel the last of the glitter slide off of your body, you hear him clear his throat.

“You were beautiful tonight,” he says.

Pausing as you blink, you step out from under the running water and lean against the shower wall.

“I mean…not just the attractive you always are…you know, intelligent and easy to get along with…but I just…”

Hearing him sigh in frustration, you lean the side of your head against the frosty glass of the shower, smiling lightly as he continues.

“Looks have never been a thing for me, you know.  A woman is so much more than that…but that doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate it when I see it,” he explains.

“I know,” you muse.

“And you…tonight…in those boots and that outfit…it just…it solidified everything for me.”

Furrowing your brow as you pick your head back up, you cock your head as you ask, “Solidified what?”

“How I feel…about you.”

Feeling your eyes widen as you catch your breath in your lungs, you hear Spencer shuffle on his feet as he takes a breath.

“Well…I guess I’ll let you ge-”

“No!” you call out.

Letting out your breath, you regain composure, “I-I mean…no, you don’t…uh…you don’t have to go, if you don’t want to.  I mean, who’s gonna watch over me until I get my keys back?”

“I didn’t mean leave the house,” he chuckles, “I just meant leave the bathroom.”

“Oh…” you comment.

“A-alright,” he says as you hear your door open.

“You don’t have to do that either!”

Slapping your hand over your mouth as you squeeze your eyes shut, you hear the door shut again, convinced that Spencer had walked out as you bang the back of your head against the wall.

“Y/N?” Spencer asks, drawing back the shower curtain as he takes in your distorted image through the frosted glass, “Are you alright?  Did you fall?”

“No!” you groan in frustration, “No…I just…I thought you had left anyway.”

As he smiles, you watch as he presses his forehead up against the frosty glass.

“So…what do you want to talk about?” he asks.

Closing your eyes as you take a deep breath, you clench your fists as you find the courage down at the bottom of your stomach.

“Well, come in here and we can figure that out.”

Watching him through the glass as he shoots up, you ride out a brief pause before you hear his clothes plopping on to the floor.

“A-…are you sure, Y/N?” Spencer stammers.

“Yeah,” you say, smiling as you blush, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Watching as your shower door slides open, you blush furiously and cast your gaze down as you watch his legs slowly step in to the shower.

Blinking rapidly, the conditioner getting in to your eyes, you feel his hands on your arms as he slowly moves you under the running water.

“Here, let me get that,” he says.

Feeling his fingers massage your scalp, slowly washing your conditioner away, you close your eyes as you try to steady your breathing, your nipples already becoming erect as his hands trail from your head to your neck.

“You don’t even know how beautiful you are, do you?” he asks, wrapping his arms around your stomach as he presses his chest flush against your head.

“Never really crosses my mind, no,” you say, your breath catching in your throat.

Feeling him lightly press a kiss on top of your head, he turns you around as your eyes drift from his feet, to his stomach, and slowly up to his eyes.

“Then let it,” he whispers before slowly dipping down.

The way his lips connected with your was incredible.

As his tongue slowly breaches your lips, his hands wrapped tightly around your waist, you stand on your tip-toes as your fingers find his hair, his tongue dancing around your mouth as his hand slowly meanders to your leg.

Hiking your leg up as you wrap it around his waist, he slowly walks you into the wall of the shower, your back up against the cool tile as his kisses trail from your lips to your neck, his teeth slowly grazing over your throbbing veins as your breaths come as sputtering gasps.

“Spencer…” you whisper, his hands feather-like as they meander over your body.

“Y/N…” he whispers back, his lips warm on your earlobe as his breath makes you shiver.

Feeling him press you harder into the shower wall, you throw your other leg around his waist as his big, strong hands catch your ass cheeks, his pelvis thrusting forward as he hikes you up higher on to his body.

Eye to eye, his gaze lustful and pleading, you crash your lips back in to his as you nibble as his lower lip hungrily, eliciting a growl from him that you had only heard in your dreams.

Feeling him move with you, his leg stepping up and over the shower edge, he steps out of the shower with you as he bends down, his knees hitting the floor as he slowly lays you out on to a towel.

“W-where did…did that come from?” you ask, looking over as you see your beach towel spread on the ground.

And all he did was smile.

Shaking your head at him as you grab the back of his neck, you careen his face back towards you as your legs wrap back around his waist, his pelvis bucking in to yours as his throbbing dick teases your slit.

Throwing your pelvis over as you line him up with your entrance, you thrust your hips forward, his sensitive dick crashing inside of you, your eyes widen as his girth as he grunts, his posture lightly faltering as your walls clench around him.

“Oh my god, Y/N,” he whispers, his breath coming in quick pants.

“Don’t worry…it won’t take me long, either,” you breathe, smiling at him as he catches your gaze.

Feeling his body slowly lower on to yours, your eyes connected as he begins his thrusts, your eyes slowly roll back with every thrust he makes, his breath hot on your face as he stabilizes himself with his hands.

“Oh, god…” you moan, your hands traveling his back as your fingers press in to his muscles.

Bucking your hips against his, the need for friction welling deep inside of you, you feel his breath coming in shorter spurts as you lean up and suck his lower lip in between your teeth, lightly raking them across as his arms falter once again.

“Oh, geez,” Spencer says, burying his face into the crook of your neck as he moves one hand from the side of your head down between your legs.

“Come with me,” you hear his whisper desperately.

Feeling him slowly find your throbbing nub, yearning for friction as his finger slowly circles around it, you let out a light whimper as he pulls all the way out, thrusting in harder as your back arches.

“Oh, good god,” you yell out, your hips off of the floor as he applies more pressure, his breath building in the crook of your neck as his hips thrust harder, his dick throbbing inside of you as your walls clench down on him, begging him to spill.

“Oh, please…Spencer, please,” you beg, your body shaking as your core contracts, your fingers digging deep in to his back as he bites in to your shoulder, moaning and grunting as you feel him twitch inside of you.

And that’s all it took.

Throwing your head back as your eyes roll into your skull, your walls hammer down on him, milking him for all he is worth as his thrusts and bucks slowly give way to light rolling as he rides your high with you, his teeth marks deep in your shoulder as you rake your fingers down his sides, your back crashing to the ground as your body shakes.

Opening your eyes, you find a smiling Spencer, glistening with sweat and shower water as he slowly moves the hair from your face, his own dipping lightly over his eyes.

“Have breakfast with me tomorrow,” he says lowly.

“Have breakfast with me forever,” you reply breathlessly, rearing your head up to catch his lips again.

And as he rolls off, his body curling up next to yours on the towel in the middle of your bathroom, you feel his breathing even out as his lips find their way to your ear once again.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he whispers.

spacekidjosh  asked:

Okay, I’m gonna assume you’re okay with ereri? You didn’t really say much, so I took some liberties with this. A lot of liberties, actually.Also, apparently I lied; I found my writing vibe again. I don’t know what this is or where it came from but yeah. Just… yeah…


Eren had been living in his apartment complex for almost three years now. He loved the place; the neighbours all formed a close-knit community and they were so comfortable with each other that almost everyone had a spare key to at least one other person’s place. Usually, this was for the obvious reasons like in case of emergencies or so someone could pop by and water plants while someone was away. Eren, however, lived with his childhood friend Armin right next door to Mikasa (who they’d met in college and grown fast friends with), so they had a habit of using each other’s spare keys to randomly drop by whenever they were bored.

Today in particular was proving to be an especially dull day. Armin was camped out at the Uni library studying for his midsems so Eren was left to his own devices. After half an hour of flicking through TV channels hoping for something to catch his eye (it was 7pm on a weeknight though, so the only things on were shitty reality shows and the news), he finally gave up and snatched up the spare key to Mikasa’s place. If nothing else, he could always rely on Mikasa to provide good company.

Eren barged into the neighbouring apartment without so much as a knock to herald his arrival, kicking off his shoes at the door and tossing his jacket onto a coat hook. The place was like a second home to him; there was no need for formalities here.

“Yo, ‘Kasa! You home?” The kitchen light wasn’t on; that was unusual. It wouldn’t be strange if Mikasa wasn’t in, but he could hear the shower running so clearly someone was. Annie had flown out of the city two nights ago to visit her mum too, so that only left Mikasa.

Eren plonked himself down on one of the stools lining along the kitchen bench, resigning himself to wait a little longer, when something out of the ordinary caught his eye. Sitting by the telephone was an unfamiliar set of keys and a wallet.

A mans wallet.

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You’re Just A Number 7/?

Summary: AU Some say it was fate, others say luck, most say it was just a wrong number (basically Caroline and Stefan meet over a text sent to the wrong number)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

Crap. This was the only word circulating through her panic struck mind. Crap. Holy crap. Ohmygodthiscannotbehappening crap crap. It took exactly 3 minutes, 14 pants of breath and a few paces left and right to finally get her head together, or at least at a stable enough place to consider her options. Option 1: go home, at that moment in time she favoured this one the most. Option 2: make up some excuse and retreat into hiding, she kept this as a reserve as she didn’t really want to spend her only evening in a 5 star hotel in the bathroom. Then there was option 3: meet up with him. Now her mind began to battle between 1 and 3 flitting between them like a ball in a tennis match. 1 no 3, but 1 is the safest, yet 3 is what you have been waiting for…isn’t it?

Caroline are you okay?

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