anonymous asked:


calum luke

michael as a boyfriend would be:

  • a shit ton of cursing
  • leaving hickies on his pale skin
  • “michael if you do [insert chore here] I’ll blow you”
  • his hands always being on your boobs. always. on. boobs.
  • him being the big spoon
  • lots of whining
  • days where you two don’t leave bed
  • grabby hands when you try to leave bed
  • wearing his snapbacks when you go down on him
  • late night mcdonalds runs
  • sitting on the couch with him and draping your legs over his lap, where he just kind of strokes your calves while watching tv
  • you teaching him how to braid on your own hair
  • “but baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe”
  • grocery shopping with him and he just picks out different chips
  • strong fingering game (I mean, we’re talking about a guitar playing gamer here, come on)
  • him falling asleep on your boobs
  • you making fun of him for his underwear and him pouting
  • him making you laugh with dumb ass jokes, even when you’re mad at him
  • quickies before shows
  • lots of sexting
  • always having a case of beer in the fridge
  • sitting on the couch and tilting your head back for him to kiss you as he walks through the door
  • taking dumb pictures of him while he’s snoring and tweeting them
  • prank wars
  • chasing him around the house trying to get him to eat a vegetable

We’re back with another pun from Episode 7: The Evillustrator! The GIF was made by the beautiful @ladyofacat.

Original French: 

Ce gars a un sacré coup de crayon!

Literal translation: This guys has one good stroke of pen!

This one was hands down one of the most penful puns (I mean seriously, you gotta know where to draw the line, gee) because while you actually CAN say that in English and still be understood, it’s not an actual expression. So your favourite editor came up with the adage “The pen is mightier than the sword” and we sorta hoped you’d all understand because even if some lines aren’t the very exact translation (hey when you’re going that fast, it’s hard to picture the perfect one) we still like to keep it similar so expressions are translated with other expressions.

It’s a path you never want to go down.
Where food is the enemy,
where hunger is a good thing, because it means that you’re losing weight.
It’s hell, having your friends and family constantly pushing you to eat.
Your rationale is gone,
you become afraid of food,
afraid to inhale its scent,
worrying that even the smell of it will expand your waistline,
petrified to even hold a loaf of bread in your two hands,
for fear of its oils seeping into your skin,
making you fatter
and fatter by the second.
All I can do is
hope that others don’t go down the same path I have,
pray that others don’t look at food and see anything other than necessary and nutritious fuel for their bodies,
dream of a world in which people won’t validate starvation by paying compliments to its victims.
I feel sick to my stomach when I see little girls sucking in their tummies and cheeks,
avoiding dessert because they’re terrified of the number on the scale.
I wish I could fix it,
fix all of it,
fix this messed up society…

I beg you,
celebrate health and strength.
Compliment someone’s smile.
Tell them how much you appreciate their company.
Surround them with love and warmth.
Be there for them.

Don’t let them go down the same road I did.

—  on eating disorders

White gays  siding with cops is the most disgusting shit ever, don’t ever forget about Stonewall. Don’t ever fucking forget the shit our own had to go through to get us where we are, and we aren’t even done yet, just because in your own state your rights have been half-ass given to you and you’re good with the rest doesn’t mean you get to turn the blind eye.  

Don’t fucking dare to try and say “it’s not a racial thing” when you have first-hand experience hearing “it’s not that i’m homophobic but…" 

*I was just going to simply call out "Gays” but all of these guys have the same thing in common.
**I would’ve blurred their names out but they did post that on a public page so I guess it doesn’t matter. 

I loved you first (chapter 5)

It’s time: the smut is here! 

And also a dose of pain…so sorry about that, but there’s a little fluff too ;)

Thank you again to everyone who commented on this story, your feedback means so much to me.
I had a clear idea where I was going but as usual I took a wrong turn somewhere and now the path is unclear, it can go either way.

It will depend on where Tom takes me, it’s all in his hands now.

NSFW for some smut in this chapter.

Previous chapters: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4


I loved you first (chapter 5)

I was walking Haley to work the next morning, supposedly because I didn’t want to miss our morning talks but even more so because I didn’t want to be left alone in the apartment with my thoughts right now.

‘So where did you disappear off to last night?’ she asked while we walked out of Starbucks with our coffee,’ I looked everywhere for you before I left the party but I couldn’t find you.’
‘I was with Tom.’

‘Oh,’ she looked at me and raised her eye brow,’ with Tom or with Tom?’

‘What? No! Nothing happened, my god, I do have some morals, you know!’ I protested,’ I wouldn’t do that, Hales, not while he’s still with her! He didn’t touch me…but…I think maybe he wanted to.’
She almost spat out her coffee,’ what?!’

‘I don’t know, maybe I’m seeing things I want to see again, but he told me he still loves me and that he was jealous seeing me with someone else.’
‘What?!’ she looked at me with a surprised grin on her face,’ oh my god, this story keeps getting better!’
‘Can we please stop referring to my life as ‘this story’?’

‘I’m sorry’, she smiled,’ but Em, this is huge.’

‘No it’s not, because it doesn’t really change anything,’ I sighed,’ he still loves her. And as long as he’s with her nothing is going to happen.’

‘But how can you say that this doesn’t change anything? Em, this changes everything!’

‘How so?’

She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to step in front of me and look me in the eyes.

‘He’s not over you,’ she then spoke softly but firmly,’ which means it isn’t over, you still have a chance.’
‘No buts,’ she was pointing her coffee cup at me while she nodded her head,’ did you come here to get your man back or did you come here to give up now that it seems like an actual possibility?’

I bit my lip and then smiled at her,’ I came here to get him back.’

‘Good, then go out there and get him. GET HIM!’

I shook my head but couldn’t help but smile at her determination.

‘Alright,’ I sighed.


Later that afternoon I hesitantly walked up to Tom’s front door, I was still working up the nerve to ring his bell when the door opened right in front of me and his sister Emma stepped out.

‘Oh, hey, Emmy,’ she smiled,’ Tom’s not here, he’s with mum today, I was just on my way to catch up with them. Is there something I can do for you?’

‘No, it’s okay, I’ll just come back later then.’

‘Catherine’s here though if you want to catch up with her.’
I shook my head in an awkward smile,’ no, I’m good.’

I could feel her staring at me while she put her keys into her handbag and she let out a little chuckle.

‘What?’ I asked.
‘You hate her don’t you?’
‘What? Nooo!’ I waved my hand and shrugged my shoulders which only made me look less convincing.

‘It’s okay,’ Emma reassured me,’ I know the feeling, she can be annoyingly perfect, can’t she?.’
‘Yes,’ I admitted,’ but her and Tom are a match made in heaven then, aren’t they?’

She smiled at me but shook her head,’ I was always rooting for you guys, you know. Ever since college. It just always seemed so obvious to me that you two would be end game, it’s funny how life surprises you sometimes.’

Yes, fucking hilarious…

‘I’ve never liked her that much if I’m being really honest with you,’ she then added as she lowered her voice.
‘Emma, come on,’ this time I was the one shaking my head while I gave her a look of disbelief,’ I know she’s your friend and you introduced them to each other.’
‘I did that to get her off my back,’ she confessed,’ she’s an incredibly nice and genuine person but perfection wears you down after a while. It’s gets tiring to be around someone like that for too long, which is why I sort of dumped her on Tom so he would take her off my hands for a bit. I didn’t plan the rest, I never expected for them to…you know.’

I just stared at her in surprise and watched her expression change to a faint smile filled with guilt mixed with sympathy.

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. Neither of us had to say more, we both knew what she meant and I gave her a small thankful nod.

‘Is he happy, Emma?’ I then asked.

‘Well, you just said it, they are a match made in heaven, I should have seen it right away,’ she said,’ she’s exactly like him, they fit very well in every way but…in the long run I don’t know if exactly like him is what he really needs.’

I couldn’t think of anything to say so I just looked at her until she gave me a quick hug,’ I’m sorry, I have a train to catch, we’ll talk later, okay.’

I stood there for a few moments unable to move and decide what I should do, walk away or go inside and face Catherine.

The decision was out of my hands when the front door opened and Catherine stood right in front of me, giving me a little smile.
‘Would you like to come in?’

That is the absolute last thing I want.

‘Sure,’ I smiled back at her and followed her into Tom’s house.

‘Did you have fun at the party last night?’ she asked as we walked into the living room.
Her voice sounded friendly enough but I heard a tone of judgement in there nonetheless, I tried my best to ignore it.

‘It was a great party,’ I smiled while we sat down on the couch.

‘I know something happened between you and Tom last night,’ she then said, taking away my last hope that she had no idea what happened in that bedroom.
My breath was stuck in my throat as I tried to come up with an answer.

‘I watched him follow you upstairs,’ she continued,’ he seemed so upset when he came back. After you left I tried to talk to him about what happened but I couldn’t get a word out, and this morning he rushed of to his parent’s house.’
Her voice was starting to break.

‘Catherine,’ I stuttered,’ nothing happened between us, I swear.’
‘Please don’t play me for a fool, Emmy.’

I could see tears in her eyes but she managed to stop them from falling and regained her strength. Her eyes found mine.

‘He didn’t touch me,’ I said in a weak voice.

‘But something happened?’

‘I really…don’t think you should be talking to me about this,’ I said uncomfortably.

‘Please don’t take him from me, Emmy.’
‘Even if I wanted to, why would you think that was up to me?’

She nodded her head and gave me a weak smile.

‘Because I believe it is,’ her voice was breaking,’ I believe that if you ask him he will leave me. So before you do I need you to know that I love him more than anything else in my entire life, and I would do everything in my power to make him the happiest man on the planet. Everything, Emmy.’

I stared at her and nodded my head.

‘So would I,’ I then whispered.


I met Tom by the Thames two nights later, it took a lot of convincing from Haley to get me to go through with it. 

After my last conversation with Catherine part of me wanted to throw in the towel. We both wanted the same thing, we both wanted him to be happy, and if I was completely honest I wasn’t even sure I was his best option.

Maybe he’d be better off with Catherine. She was better than me in every way, prettier, nicer, more confident and more sane, probably smarter and definitely a better catch than me.

But she didn’t love him more than me, nobody loved him more than me.

I recognized his long legs from a distance as I walked up to him, he was wearing the same black pants and white shirt he wore at the party. He was standing with his back to me, staring down at the water until I gently tapped him on the shoulder.

I expected an awkward hello but to my surprise I was met with a smile and he didn’t hesitate to put his arms around me and pull me into a hug just like he always did, making me catch my breath.
I closed my eyes to fully disappear into his embrace, I might have lost track of time standing there in his arms but it felt like he held me for several minutes, both of us not saying a word, until he released me.

‘Em,’ he spoke softly,’ about what happened at the party…’

‘Please,’ I gave him a little nervous smile,’ can we just pretend that didn’t happen? You know how I get when I’m drunk, I get overly dramatic, it’s just what I do. I should have kept my stupid mouth shut, can we please just enjoy this night for what it is and not…think?’

He nodded his head and gave me a little smile,’ okay, so what is tonight then?’

‘I have a surprise,’ I said, making his eyes light up in curiosity.


The venue was small, I had heard about it from Haley a week before and I immediately knew Tom would love the whole thing.
It was a very small and unknown theatre but the word of mouth for this play made sure they had every seat filled every single night. The company consisted of young upcoming talent and older undiscovered talent and I had to admit their version of Shakespeare’s Much ado about nothing was enthralling, even for a Shakespeare virgin like myself.

I knew this was one of Tom’s favorite plays of all time and seeing it for the first time many years ago is where his love for acting had sprung, where he had first felt that passion for being on stage.

I had to admit I spent most of the play not looking at the stage at all but looking at the man sitting next to me. How his eyes lit up with certain lines that he really loved, how the smile practically didn’t leave his face the entire time except for those parts where I could see other emotions taking over, how he leaned forward even though we were already sitting so close to the stage.

His enthusiasm was that of a kid at the candy store and my heart was melting a little bit more every minute as I just sat there looking at him, realizing just how much I loved every little thing about him.

It was stronger than myself, the play was nearing it’s end and without thinking my hand reached for his. He didn’t even look up and the expression on his face stayed the same but he took my hand and gently laced his fingers with mine.

We held hands until the curtain fell.



It was dark in his bedroom, but I saw all I needed to see, his gorgeous blue eyes on me, with a look that was so intense it made my knees buckle. I softly kissed the cut right above his eye brow and took his hands into mine while he guided me towards the bed.

His lips found mine in another heated kiss, we had kissed our way from the kitchen to his bedroom, hands grabbing every inch of skin they could reach. His shirt was lying on the kitchen floor while mine dropped down somewhere between the living room and the small hallway.

His hands were nervously fumbling with the zipper of my jeans, I couldn’t help but laugh at the way his hands were shaking and I helped him by doing to same to his jeans. He gasped as I pulled the zipper down and I felt his growing erection push up against my hand. Both our jeans were discarded and we just stood there looking at each other for a minute, him wearing nothing but his boxers while I only had on my bra and panties. His eyes seemed to take in as much of me as he could in the dim light and he licked his lips.

‘Emmy,’ he breathed.

‘It’s alright,’ I smiled and kissed his lips again while he sank down on the bed and pulled me on his lap.
I was unable to hide the soft moan escaping my lips when I straddled him and felt his erection between my legs, his arms pulled me in a tight hug and I put my arms around his shoulders, heavy breaths coming from both of us now.

‘I want you,’ he whispered into my ear, his hand unclasped my bra with ease and he carefully took it off, letting his eyes roam over my breasts, and before I could say another word his mouth was on my nipple, sucking softly and making my centre ache for him as he  licked his way from one breast to another.

‘Tom,’ I moaned and pulled at his curls while I let my head fall back and closed my eyes. Feeling his hands and his tongue on my heated skin and his erection pushing into my soaked panties, I could feel my desire taking over. 

I needed him and I needed him now.

I pushed him down further on the bed, he eagerly followed my lead and when I pulled of his boxers we both started to breathe heavier.
He pulled my panties down and crawled higher up on the bed, his arm snaked around my hips and he turned us, making sure I was lying down and he was hovering over me now.

My legs parted for him and I welcomed his entire body with mine, arms around his neck and legs around his back. 

‘Oh god,’ he was moaning softly when his cock carefully nudged at my entrance, his pelvis was brushing against my most sensitive spot every time he moved, making me more than ready for him. I helped guide him inside me, gently and slowly but with an urgency we both couldn’t deny any longer. I let out a silent scream when he finally entered me, the moan on his lips was the most satisfying sound I had ever heard.

He stayed still, letting me get used to the feel of him inside me. His lips searched for mine and he kissed me again, it was such a gentle and caring kiss after which his eyes searched for mine.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked softly, genuine worry on his face.

‘Yes,’ I whispered and I kissed him back, deeper and harder than he did and when my tongue found his again he was no longer able to fight his urges and he started moving his hips. The friction had us both moaning loudly within minutes. I bucked my hips to meet his thrusts and he leaned his face agains mine to keep his eyes on me.

‘You are so beautiful,’ he spoke softly in between moaning, making me want him more with every word,’ god, you’re so beautiful…my Emmy…my sweet darling…fuck.’
I laughed at the sudden loss of romance in his words but he quickly shut me up when he let his hand sink down between my legs and he started rubbing my clit, sending me over the edge very quickly.
I could tell by his grunts and moans he was losing his last bit of control, his thrusts hard and frantic now, and his skilled fingers had me right there with him.

‘Tom,’ I moaned loudly,’ yes, please don’t stop, don’t stop…I’m…’

My head fell back into the pillow and everything turned black for a while as I lost myself in my orgasm. When I opened my eyes I could see he was in the same place, his mouth agape and his eyes closed as a long guttural moan left his lips while he spilled inside me.

We fell into each other’s arms, the room filled with nothing but our heavy breaths as they slowed down.

‘Emmy,’ he whispered while he let himself fall down next to me, keeping his arms around me and pulling me up against his chest. I stayed quiet and just lingered in his embrace.

‘Should we…talk about this?’ he asked after a while.
‘No,’ I whispered,’ not tonight.’

‘I want you to know…’
‘Tom,’ I interrupted him,’ there’s really no need.’

I turned to face him, the sweet smile on his face made my heart jump.

‘This was wonderful,’ I spoke softly,’ everything about tonight, about you, was wonderful.’
I smiled at the big grin spreading all over his face.

‘So were you,’ he then whispered.

‘Can I just fall asleep in your arms now?’

‘There’s nothing I’d want more,’ he kissed my forehead and pulled the covers over the both of us while I snuggled up to him.

It didn’t take long for us to fall asleep, unaware of what the next day would bring and that we wouldn’t share a bed again after that one perfect night.



It was dark by the time we walked by the water that night, Tom hadn’t stopped talking about the play since we left the theatre, unable to keep the happy smile from his face and I relished in his enthusiasm.

‘Oh my goodness, Em, you have no idea how much I enjoyed that!’

‘I think it’s pretty obvious,’ I smiled, we stopped walking and looked down at the calm water and the lights of the city around us.
Apart from a few other couples strolling the area it was quiet outside tonight.

‘I can’t thank you enough for this night,’ he then said,’ I mean it, this was the best surprise you could have given me.’
‘You’re very welcome.’

‘I can’t believe I forgot,’ he was shaking his head,’ how amazing a performance like that can make you feel, lift you up, make everything so much more…alive. It’s hard to explain.’

‘You and Catherine never went to a play together?’
‘She doesn’t like them,’ he confessed,’ and with work and other obligations…it just never seemed like the right time. Life gets in the way, you know. But god I’ve missed it!’

‘Sometimes you don’t realize what you’ve been missing until it pops back into your life and reminds you,’ I spoke softly.

I was still staring at the water but I could feel his eyes on me.
‘Yeah,’ he whispered.

‘I’m sorry,’ I shook my head and forced a smile,’ I didn’t mean to turn the mood, tell me again about your favourite lines.’
He shook his head,’ tell me yours first.’

‘I only remember one,’ I confessed in a shy smile,’ it was something like: I do love nothing in the world as well as you.’

His eyes found mine and I could see the smile was completely gone from his face now while we finished the line together and spoke the words at the same time,’ Is that not strange?’

I was the first to turn my head away, feeling the blush creep up on my cheeks under his intense stare. I looked down to avoid his gaze,’ so, what’s yours then?’

He put his finger under my chin to lift it up, leaving me no choice but to look back at him.

‘I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest,’ he whispered, leaving me breathless and wondering if he was still quoting Shakespeare or speaking from his heart.
I guess they were both the same thing.

‘Tom,’ I shook my head but leaned into his touch anyway, his fingers were caressing my cheek softly and a little hesitantly.
‘I can’t fight this anymore, Em,’ he then said, his voice was shaking,’ I can’t keep doing this.’

My heart was beating out of my chest, there were so many words I wanted to say to him but none of them made their way to my mouth and before I had a chance to react he stepped back from me.

‘Fuck, I’m sorry,’ he was shaking his head and I could see his inner struggle on his face,’ I can’t do this to Catherine. I can’t be around you, Em. This is too hard, I shouldn’t have come tonight.’

‘Please don’t say that,’ my emotions were overtaking my voice, making it shaky.

I had to keep myself from latching onto him to stop him from leaving but he was already walking away.

‘Tom!’ my voice was covered in desperation but I already knew it was too late. He would not turn back around, and as if that realisation wasn’t hurtful enough he spoke the words that killed every last bit of hope I had left in me.

‘I wish you never came back, please just go back to Boston and let me live my fucking life without you, Em!’

anonymous asked:

Yandere allies when their crush is being bothered by a stranger?

2p America: Is on that shit in a hot minute. It takes about .24 seconds for Allen to get from where he’s hiding (while stalking you) to wrapped around your waist and up in the strangers face. It doesn’t matter if they back off, or even apologize, they’re going to get their ass handed to them, no matter what. And afterwards, you’re definitely going home with him, where he can keep you safe.

2p England: That snapping sound you just heard? Yeah, that was Oliver’s psyche. The Brit would go from his usual cheerful self, to an enraged psychopath in a split second. He’s able to keep his temper while you’re around, but once you leave he quickly follows the stranger home, and the next morning delivers a special batch of cupcakes to their doorstep. They won’t be bothering you again.

2p France: Oh, no.This isn’t going to fly, no way. With nothing more than a hissed, “Fuck off.” you’re quickly escorted to Francois’ car, out of the strangers presence, and buckled in. Its really very nice that he’s giving you a ride home, you’d originally thought he’d disliked you. It’s odd though, that he hasn’t asked for your address yet. And you’ve noticed that you seem to be getting further and further out of town…

2p Russia: Ion doesn’t walk toward you, he stalks. Stepping so that he’s shielding you from the stranger, he makes it rather obvious that you are his, and judging from his intimidating size and expression, it’s best not to argue over the matter. The stranger quickly leaves, and afterwards Ion sits you down for a long talk about stranger danger, saying if you’re not more careful in the future, he’ll have to take precautionary actions. For your safety of course.

2p China: You wanna go mate??!? Zao is immediately ready to fight for you, (Show you how tough he is.) and show this loser who you belong to. After he wins, he manages to guilt you into taking care of him (Which is practically a date in his book.) and maybe giving him a celebratory kiss, if you’re up for it. ;)

2p Canada: Unlike Ion, Matthew’s intimidation technique is a little more vocal, (Though he still uses his size, strength, and terrifying expression to his advantage.) telling them to, “Fuck off, before you get fucked up”. Secretly, he’s hoping for a fight, just so he can smash the fucker’s face in, but controls himself for your sake. He doesn’t want you to see him like that, not for anything less than an emergency. 

I rewrote the end of Leonard Caul

Liz: Ugh I wish u had just lied 2 me *storms away from Reddington*

Liz: *storms back to Reddington* haha just kidding I totally didn’t mean that.

Red: Oh good, cuz I was going to say it totally doesn’t fit with your character.

Liz: I know right? Hey, let’s hold hands because you’re injured and I’m worried about you and also I can tell you’re emotionally and physically vulnerable and if there’s ever been a time that you needed me to get over myself it’s now.

Red: K good plan. 

Ressler: Hey Liz. Where have I even been this episode?

Liz: lol idk, did you even have any lines?

Ressler: Maybe like two. Why are you holding Reddington’s hand?

Liz: We’re having the moment of emotional closeness that only makes sense but somehow got cut from the final script. You’re next.

Ressler: Sweet. Wait I feel like I’m forgetting something. Oh yeah. *pew pew*

Tom: *dies*

Ressler: That was bugging me. 

5SOS Preference

Remember when I used to post one direction preferences and yall would hype over them? Well guess who’s back, back again….

First 5SOS preference, whaddup.




“Where the heck do you think you’re going missy?” He says, pulling you down until you fall on him on the couch. “I told you you were cute and I definitely saw you blush so at least appreciate my efforts and reciprocate or something?” He said, smirking before his hands slip under your shirt.


Being drunk makes Luke, let’s say… Very forward. Even the others are embarrassed for him. “Listen (Y/N), just because I never said anything doesn’t mean I never thought you were sexy as shit.” He turns to look at you and bites his lip. “God damn.” He says, before tugging his fingers on your belt loop, pulling you closer, bodies touching.


“Oh… Oh so this is the girl? How come you never said she was this hot guys?” He says, pretending to whisper when he clearly knows you’re hearing everything he says. “Hey, hey. How you doin’?” He says, then winks.


“Right. So you hate me, (Y/N)? You’re moaning because you think I’m annoying? Well, that’s not exactly what you said that night when you were craving for my touch and moaning of bliss…”

WOwooWOOwW hope you liked it if you like preferences you’d like my fanfic i posted on wattpad *shameless promo*

Send me asks like how some of you used to, I miss it :(



Jesus said, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”
This means every moment of every day He is with us. The Psalmist says in Psalm 139, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.”
Oh what a comfort! You don’t have to face anything alone. An interview, an exam, a medical treatment or even the loss of a loved one. He is there right beside you holding you, strengthening you and…crying with you. He knows how much it hurts. He’s been there before. And during times of rejoicing, He is with you too, sharing in your joy.
This, Christian, is our confidence–we are never left as orphans, our Heavenly Father is always with us.

I’ve found my own happiness…
Somewhere between how can I watch beautiful things but never become them, & wearing my heart on my sleeve…
I love open skies, & open souls, & I love whole…
So go on… Come at me full-armored because you know that I am an army of soft palms, & soft eyes, & soft hearts, & the type to call you my love when I do not even know your name…
There was a time sailors would taste the bottom of the ocean just to get a glimpse of me… All the me that you see freely was once trapped in Davy Jones’ locker…
If you hold my hand we are going to run somewhere deep in the forests where I am convinced the trees are always calling my name…
I am on pointed toes, with my eyes closed, crossing tightropes of words that mean a whole lot less than I think they do…
Because I give my heart away too many times now…
I am no longer afraid to place it in palms that shake too easily…
& that’s okay…
Because somewhere between rebuilding burnt bridges & having a winged heart,
I am happier this way…
—  Come at me

“You’re just like your mother…”

Oh, I’m sorry, WHAT, Regina?

You’re pissed off at Emma for saving the life of someone you yourself were going to MURDER?

Regina stans are angry at Emma for ruining her “happy ending”? You mean her happy ending where she gets the husband and kid of a woman SHE MURDERED?!?!? You mean, her VICTIMS???

Just… Seriously… WTF. WHAT THE everlasting F***.


If she cares about Robin and Roland, cares for them, instead of just caring about how SHE gets love and attention from them, for the family she’s always wanted, she would be glad that someone precious to them is alive. That Roland’s MOTHER is alive.

If she cares about being a “hero”, then she should be THANKING Emma


THANKING. EMMA. It wouldn’t be too much to do it on her knees.

For saving her from having Marian’s blood on her hands. For preventing her from ruining one more life, for helping heal the pain that REGINA HERSELF CAUSED. This is a woman who has slaughtered hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of people. Yes, she OUGHT to be on her knees begging forgiveness of the people who she has victimized and terrorized.

Emma didn’t ruin Regina’s happy ending.

REGINA DID. The moment she started killing people.

And she STILL blames Snow, who was a little girl who was manipulated by Cora when she told her secret. It takes an epic personality disorder to turn this into a lifelong vendetta.

Regina is a malignant narcissist.

She’s no hero and she still hasn’t owned up to her crimes. And that people think Marian should’ve died, should have been left to be executed by Regina, just so she could get with the family of her murder victim… Just… There are no words.


You felt sick. Weirdly sick. And moments later you found out why. Leaning over the toilet, you saw your lunch once again. Now you knew that public school cafeteria food was always questionable, but it’s never caused you to puke. You eyes widen as the worst possible scenario when through your head. That scenario that instantly flashes through your mind when you’re thirteen and your period is late and you haven’t even held hands with a guy yet.

“Oh shit” You mumbled to yourself, alone in your bathroom as you cleaned up all possible evidence of what just happened.

“It can’t be. It can be. This isn’t happening.” I’ve only done it once. I mean- it was only one night. Several times- but only one night. Only with one person. And it shouldn’t even count because it was on a full moon. Our senses were out of control and so were we.

You were out of the house and walking. Where were you even going? Should you run? Is it possible to run when you could possibly have a scenario going on? How do you even find out? You couldn’t just walk into a store and but them! Then people would know. And people can’t know about this. You don’t even know for sure about this.

There was the beeping of a horn behind you as the car it belonged to slowed down. You didn’t want to see anybody you knew. What if they knew? What if they could tell? They say that your face glows. Is my face luminescent in any way?

“Where are you going?” Lydia’s passenger side window was rolled down and she looked at me with both suspicion and concern. She was actually the only person you could bare seeing right now. You opened her door and slipped in, uninvited, but you doubt she cared.

“I need a favor.”

Lydia drove you to the nearest store and went in and got them for you, shamelessly and with no judgement. She also dropped you off at your house with no questions asked. The first one was a false positive, as was the second one. Ha. What are the odds that you’d get two false positives? You tried the third one, and that was also a positive.

“Hey (Y/N)!” You could hear Liam crash through the door that you forgot to lock downstairs. You quickly hid the tests and washed your hands as he came bounding up the steps.

“Hey Liam” You came out of the bathroom and he unloaded his backpack onto your bed. You two always did homework after school, usually with Mason.

“So I didn’t see you at practice today and you were acting really weird at school and you also threw up earlier today so I just wanted to make sure that you… Wait you smell different.” You scoffed and laughed at that preposterous idea that something could possibly be different. The uncomfortable chuckling stopped when you rushed over to your wastebasket and threw up again. His face said it all.

“Oh my god. Oh my god… (Y/N). Oh my god.” His eyes were huge and he started pacing. “That what the smell is. It’s that. You are- you- Wait. Who else?” You were like a deer in headlights. He was angry, and if the process of wolfing out. Eyes glowing and claws extending.

“Who else (Y/N)! Who was it with!” He was screaming at you, digging his claws into your shoulders. You glowed and growled at him, shoving him away from you.

“That’s enough Liam!” He shook his head and tried to gain control. Trying to calm down.

“Just. Just tell me who.” He looked like he was about to explode. And when you stayed silent, he did.

“You want to know why? You want to know why?! It’s because I love you! It’s because the idea of you with anybody else makes me sick. It pisses me off. And Ive been in love with you for years. I’ve been sitting by and waiting for the right moment to tell you and then you just- you just- just tell me! Please..”

“It was Brett. It’s Brett’s.“

Okay, but imagine

Being best friends with Newt, even though you are both in love with each other (completely oblivious), getting through trials with him, you two always being there for each other, even in the WICKED hq, when you heard the announcement that you’re not immune. Him just starting to shake, his eyes filling with tears as you squeeze his had, playing it cool for both of you. “God, calm down you shank. It’s fine, it only means I’m getting out of this hell sooner than you. It’s probably better where I’m going, anyways”, you tell him, stil holding his hand. And then you hear the next name on the list: “Newt”. Your heart starts to pound, and you feel him squeezing your hand back. He smiles at you sadly, and whispers: “I guess we’re gonna find out together.”

Or don’t imagine it. It’s maybe better if you don’t. Just. Don’t.

Originally posted by svuscenarios

I’ve been promising a Mike for practically ever and I have finally kept my word. Apologies for how long this took :)

“For Mike, how about public sex? He’s so straight edge, but his SO is more naughty and convinces him to have sexy time in a public place. I mean, not completely obvious, sex in the street. Like more discreet, but still with a chance of being seen” 
Requested by: @not-my-yacht 

He took your hand as you left the restaurant, smiling down at you as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Ready to go home?”

“It’s such a gorgeous evening, Mike, why don’t we walk?”

Nodding his assent, he turned south, your pace slower than usual as you breathed in the scent of spring in New York. It was your favorite season in the city, a time where everything seemed magical and anything seemed possible.

Keep reading

Toilet or Not Toilet

Is it really a question?

November 19th, World Toilet Day

Happy World Toilet Day Everyone!

Oh, is that weird? You haven’t heard of “Toilet Day?” Maybe you are wondering why there even is something as silly as a “Toilet Day.” I mean -toilets are just there. They are ingrained in our lives. Especially in America where free public bathrooms seem to be a human right. (I’m still bitter about being charged to use toilets in Europe).

In most cases it’s pretty simple: you feel something brewing, you find a bathroom, you go in, you do your business as you read Twitter on your phone, you flush, you wash your hands (hopefully), and you go out and move on with your day. All of your shit is flushed away and you will probably never think about it again… unless of course, it was a particularly cleansing one that will leave you feeling refreshed all day. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about! I ❤️ you coffee and oatmeal!

Anyways, it is crazy to think that some people will go their whole lives never really thinking about toilets. Some people will never veer off the path and poop anywhere that isn’t a porcelain throne 🚽. Although, we all inevitably will suffer through gas station bathrooms or seedy bar toilets (why are they always wet?) or port-o-potties at some point.

Even when I first began traveling, I was able to avoid using a “squatty potty” for at least a year! Throughout my life I would “hold it in” on short backpacking trips, even. I didn’t use a port-o-potty for most of my teen years or early twenties. I wanted to sit on a clean, white magical chair and forget all of my worries. For me it was always toilet or bust.

But now, due to all of this “life experience” stuff, I have learned some things. And because I have a blog, I feel very self-important and worldly so I would like to share some of these things with you.

It is crazy to imagine that some people will go their whole lives never not using a toilet. 

It is also crazy to imagine that some people will go their whole lives never using a toilet at all.

Approximately two billion people on the planet do not have access to clean running water or toilets.

I first heard about World Toilet Day from a girl I met through a friend in London, England. Rachel was my age, just right out of university. She was even from Berkeley, California near San Francisco and where I grew up as well. But Rachel had already made quite a name for herself. Or many names. She was endearingly called the “Toilet Girl” or the “Loo Lady of London.”

She pioneered a very successful tour of toilets and the “history of” around the city center of London, England. She o'poo'ned my eyes. I think she may have changed my life forever.

Rachel was a bonafide Toilet Enthusiast. Or as I like to say an “en-poo-thiast.” She told me that poop and toilets affect our lives far more than we ever care to think. She asked if I had any stories about my experiences with toilets and poop. At the time I couldn’t think of any, but now, I am realizing that I could probably write a whole book about my experiences with toilets and poop. (Coming soon to a bathroom-magazine-basket near you!) She told me she wasn’t very punny so I gave her a few poop jokes that I could come up with on the spot.

I always have poop jokes a-brewing. They are my favorite. Thank you Captain Underpants books for providing me with such inspirational material during my formative years! 

It wasn’t until shortly after meeting London Loo Lady Rachel, after traveling by bicycle around Europe, and then moving to Madagascar that I realized that “poop” was more than just a joke to me.

At the tender age of 23, I found my calling. Actually, I found my first calling in middle school (event planning). This was my second calling. My #2. My #2 was #2!

Poop. 💩

When I was researching the logistics of “going to the bathroom” while bike touring around Europe, one blog had written “there are either toilets no where, or there are toilets everywhere.” This meant to say, that if you had to go… you really just had to “go.” Find a nice tree, dig a hole, and make it happen.

Currently, I live in a small village on the east coast of Madagascar and there really are NO toilets anywhere. At all. There is no running water. There is no plumbing. I am one of the only people in my village with a latrine. People poop in the rivers, they poop on foot paths, they poop in front of the hospital, they poop in the rice fields. Open-defecation is everywhere. 

(My dusty, trusty Latrine or “Kabone” in Malagasy. There is a hole under that cement, and I poop there.)

One of my first introductions to the region I live in was stepping in human poop, barefoot, at the beach nearby. Yes, I agree! It’s kinda funny.

But it is not really a joke anymore.

Poop is filled with bacteria and it gets in everything. Open-defecation is the leading cause of diarrheal diseases such as dysentery, cholera, and acute diarrhea (ain’t nothing “cute” about it!). These diseases can be fatal and many people that live in my village constantly suffer from diarrhea and dehydration because there is poop everywhere and it gets into their water and food. Diarrheal diseases are the third leading cause of death for children under five years of age in developing countries.

It’s bad.

As a Peace Corps Volunteer in the health sector, I have decided on the main focus of my service: I will focus on Water, Hygiene, and Sanitation. (I will also continue working in malaria prevention, nutrition, and safe motherhood as well… don’t worry Big Brother).

I truly believe that people should have easy access to toilets and/or clean and contained places to poop for the good of humanity! (*cough* accessible *cough* Europe *cough*).

I have already begun building relationships with my community to hopefully change some habits along the way during my two-years of service. I sit around and chat with villagers, I present to kids at school, I talk with moms at nutrition classes and people waiting to see the doctor. I even go door-to-door like a Mormon, preaching the good word of the newest profit Joseph Sanitation!

I would like to encourage people to wash their hands with soap and to properly treat their water. By explaining what germs are and where they come from and how they can cause sickness and disease, I hope to empower people to kill pesky germs and to stay healthy!

(See that tall girl with awesome hair? That’s me awkwardly aiding with handwashing activities at the middle school in my village).

I am going to spend a large portion of the next year continually working with people in my community and helping them to build latrines. Latrines are holes in the ground that are built far away from water sources, and have walls for some privacy. When poop is contained, it is much harder for bacteria to spread! 

(My Poop Pyramid, “Pyramide Kaka” in Malagasy. It explains how open-defecation is bad because it causes diseases and that if poop is contained, we will be happy and healthy!)

I know it is very foolish to write about Peace Corps Project ideas before they actually happen. Yes, this is Madagascar, nicknamed “moramora” or “The Land of Slow.” And yes, the Peace Corps is a government agency, which should also be nicknamed “Slow.” But I am going to do my best to get some shit done and get some shit contained!

I remembered the date November 19th really well because ironically, the Toilet Girl’s UK Visa was to expire on that date in 2014 and she was to be deported. Although, I believe she has been back and forth legally since then and her empire continues. If you are ever in London, please check out the tour!.

This year on November 19th, 2015, I am taking the opportunity to announce my appreciation for toilets, my plans for my village, and yes, to openly admit once and for all that I am a card carrying “en-poo-thiast” as well.

By November 19th, 2016, I hope to have some pretty solid (not loose) results of my efforts here. I hope it won’t be a waste of time! In French they have a saying: “péter le feu!” Which poetically means “to fart fire” (give it your best energy), so that’s what I’m gonna do!

Once again, Happy Toilet Day and don’t forget to wash your hands, you nasty fools out there!

You can learn more about Open-Defecation at opendefecation.org and wateraid.org.

anonymous asked:

I'm a jr in high school currently, and I've mentioned to my friends the option of me going to a community college for a year or two and then transferring to this private school I like (due to my low GPA) and they all cringed and told me that's where all the dumb people go and I should go even if for a semester. I mean I don't want to be a year behind all my friends but on the other hand I want to get into this private university but I don't think I can

Going to a community college first doesn’t mean you will be behind, at all.

The only thing you’ll be remotely behind in is racking up student loan debt.

Seriously. You and your friends will both be taking mostly core classes your first two years. 

Community college isn’t for dumb people. It’s actually a pretty smart choice.

Don’t let anyone pressure you into making a choice that isn’t right for you. Also, it’s not a great idea to make a decision about what college you go to based off of anyone but yourself. Friends will come and go, most people eventually lose touch with all or most of their high school friends. It’s your education, not theirs. And if they are going to look down on you just for going to a community college, they don’t sound like very good friends.

Here are some previously answered questions on this topic:

Anyone mad at Elsa trick-or-treaters PLEASE READ THIS

Anyone who got mad at little kids for dressing as Elsa on Halloween better get your shit together. Because it is not fair to make fun of little kids for liking a movie and wanting to dress up like Elsa just because YOU are sick of it

If I see another post where people are like “FUCK I HATED ALL THOSE LITTLE ELSA KIDS TRICK OR TREATING” I swear to GOD I’m going to scream. Do you realize how mean that is? These kids wanted to dress up as someone they found as a role model and even if YOU don’t like the movie THEY do and they have a right to dress as they want without all your criticism. YES you can be mad, but stop spreading the hate. I know a little girl who dressed as Elsa who cried because the man at the door handing out candy rolled his eyes and said “Oh god another one”. How MEAN is that?! She was a little girl! 









I am impaled with a knife right at my lungs the way I love you
and I feel the pain shoot up to my brains and I know better
than to force you to stay but this is what science taught me.

If I take the knife out, air will go out of my lungs and go around
the outside cavity making me unable to breathe. My lungs will collapse
because knowing you are out there but not mine is suffocating.
So I thought maybe that means I need you here beside me
where I can easily touch you and kiss you and hold you but
something didn’t seem right because it hurt to have you.
This is the kind of ambivalence I may never find the solution of.
I realize that even when you’re holding my hand, your eyes are
wandering and it felt like a mirror to what your heart wants.
I had to let you go before infection starts and crawls into my
blood and will make my healing even slower and harder.
Science told me I can breathe again without you. Even better.
All I had to let happen was the knife to be pulled out and to
allow a chest tube to come in and take the air surrounding my lungs.
Letting you go in percentages wouldn’t work it. I had to let you go.
because with you, breathing meant multitudes of pain.
For once, I wanted to breathe free of worry and fear and doubt.
So when they told me that it’s okay to let you go, that I will be fine,
I did it;
I let you go and allowed my lungs to expand again.
The lungs will eventually heal, you see and yes, scarring
will be evident but it’s a price I am willing to pay
because if I am going to have you, I want all of you.
I don’t want cold kisses and half-meant endearments.
I’m done with begging.
Every I love you was a knife to my lungs. I can’t keep breathing
with pain like it’s normal. It isn’t.
I want to breathe again.
And I can do this.
People with impaled lungs have survived. And I will.
All I have to do is pull you out because no matter how
I say I don’t mind the pain, I do. Oh, God, I do.
—  Pneumothorax || altusmaceria

we’re planning on moving to a new apartment in may and i’m in this weird head space now where i don’t want to acquire any new physical objects for the next three months. like i was at the store looking at a pack of pens and i really didn’t want to get them because all i could think was, “if i get these pens i’ll definitely have to acknowledge them again when i’m packing.” every little thing in my apartment that’s usually just there in the background i’m going to have to pick up and look at and think about for at least a second. on numerous occasions i’ve looked over at this little stalk of bamboo we have in a pot like, “look, it’s been real, but, i mean what would i even do with you? wrap your roots up in a wet paper towel and carry you in my hands? i think this is where we part ways. oh hey, replacement beard trimmer oil that came with that beard trimmer i got last year, how’s life in the back of my desk drawer, didn’t think i’d ever see you again.” all my garbage is coming home to roost. 

so you would be hanging with luke like on the couch and you would be sitting on his lap or something and calum would walk in while staring at his phone confusedly so luke’s like “what’s up mate” and he’s like “been talking to this girl for days and i don’t get her at all” and in that moment luke snuggles his head into your neck even deeper than it was before so luke’s like “if ya wanna girl advice this girl is where you go to i mean i’m hers now i must be doing something right” and you as an instinct pat his cheek with one of your hands and you’re like “so what’s up?” and calum’s like “there’s this girl i met a couple days ago and i find her cute and i’m just talking to her ever since but she won’t trust me on things” and you’re like “well first off it’s not easy to trust strangers you know and second you just gotta prove it to her that you’re worth her trust yanno???” and calum’s nodding his head and he’s like “so what do i do now?” so you’re llike “whatever she wants you to do cal, you do it” and he’s like oh okay is that how it works now and he’s like “great thanks i’m just going to go see her now” and luke’s like “ya better listen to this girl and your girl too” and he cuddles you and like waving your body with his from left to right and right to left and he’s kissing your cheek and the top of your head and it’s hella cute and aw i just want to have a luke hemmings pls

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