i-love-you-chi-chi-with-all-my-heart

Drag, fat shame and gay virginity

Kim Chi is stealing my heart and emotional sections of my auto-biography.

I know all too well the feeling of being unwanted and unlovable, even when others say they’ve seen others hit on you or hit on you themselves.  When I was 360 pounds I was so confident I was disgusting that I destroyed any possibility of love.  

When I started losing the weight I went into slut mode to make up for lost time (at 27, the age Kim Chi is in the show), just to feel that I could be attractive.  I didn’t really believe people could find me attractive, but I started to work through my emotional baggage.  I had some good times and honestly the sex did help build up my sexual image and confidence in taking emotional risks.  It wasn’t the weight, it was my self-defeatism and internalized shame.  Now I feel so blessed and lucky to have not done any seemingly permanent damage to my health and even more so to have a boyfriend who loves me despite and because of my flaws and history.

My empathy is strong for her, and now I’m fully on Team Kim Chi.  Sasquatch the Walk (though I’m also on team Thorgy).