i-love-this-so-much-it-hurts

(2/2) “It’s very difficult to talk about adoption on the Internet. No matter what you say, somebody will say the opposite. We adopted Axel last January. He had spent three years in the orphanage. The staff loved him and were desperate to find him a family. We were the only ones on the list for an older child. We knew it was going to be difficult. I had read a lot of literature on the difficulties of overcoming early neglect. And we’re making progress. We’re teaching him that our home is a permanent home. We are learning that touch is a good thing. We are learning that hugs can make you feel better. And I’m learning to not put so much pressure on myself. At first we felt so much pressure to love him. It would hurt me when he didn’t want to be hugged. I wanted to immediately love him as much as our biological son. And I felt guilty because it wasn’t happening right away. But then I stopped pressuring myself. My husband and I decided to focus on basics. We focused on providing food, shelter, and education. And once we stopped pressuring ourselves to feel a certain way, we discovered that we already loved him quite a bit. It’s a rollercoaster. But I feel like we’re heading up. Adopting an older child is difficult, but every child is difficult. My biological child was difficult. Only this time, after several months, I’m sleeping through the night, my boobs don’t hurt, and I don’t smell like diapers. So I feel like I should be doing a victory dance.”

(Santiago, Chile)

BTS Reaction: They slap you during a Fight

Jungkook: He would immediately widen his eyes and he’d walk gently towards you, a look of horror and fear on his face. He would cup your face gently and run his thumb over the slight red mark. You’d flinch a little bit and he’d wrap his arms around you. You’d stiffen as tears ran down your face but he would hold onto you so tightly that it almost hurt. His shoulders would start shaking and he would cry into your neck about how sorry he was and how he would never hurt you because he loves you so much. He’d let go and run and grab some ice from the kitchen. He’d pull you onto the couch and ice your cheek gently while stroking your hair. 

Jin: Jin would stare at you after he realized what he did. He’d move his hands to grasp your shoulders and stare at you. “Jagiya.” He whispered. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I would never hurt you. You’re my love.” He would say softly and a tear rolled down his face. You’d hug him and tell him that it’s okay, you loved him too. He would then get you ice and kiss you gently.

Yoongi: He would have to take himself away from the situation, afraid of what he just did. He’d run up the stairs, slamming the door to the bedroom, leaving you to stand, shocked in the living room. You would go upstairs to grab a towel and soak it in cold water. You’d quietly open the bedroom door to find Yoongi standing with his hands over his eyes. You would reach out to touch his shoulder and he’d throw his arms around you and bury his hands in your hair. You’d sit on the bed, him just holding you. 

Jimin: Jimin would start crying and hold his hands over his mouth. “Jagiya, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” He would whisper and reach for you. He would stroke your cheek gently and try to control his own emotions as yours threatened to spill over. “I’m so sorry, my love.” He would pull you down onto the floor, clutching you to his chest. He’d press a light kiss to your forehead. 

Namjoon: He’d be shocked with himself. He would calmly go to the kitchen and get ice for you. He’d press the towel to your face and sit you down on the couch. “You know I didn’t mean that.” He would say and tilt your chin up to look at him. He’d kiss you and make sure the slap mark wasn’t too bruised. “Jagiya, I love you and I won’t ever hurt you again.” 

Hoseok: Like Jimin, he’d cry. He would be confused because he loves you so much and he didn’t know why he hurt you. He’d turn away from you for a second to try and pull himself together, before spinning around and cupping your face and kissing you. “Jagiya, don’t cry. Please.” He’d whisper and pull your head to his chest and stroke your hair. “I’m so sorry.” He’d get you ice and kiss you.

Taehyung: He would run and grab a towel soaked in water and press it to your cheek. “C’mon Jagiya. You know I didn’t mean it. I’m just tired and the past few weeks have been stressful. You’re the only one that’s kept me calm through it all though.” He’d kiss you and wipe your tears away gently with his thumb. He’d kiss your cheek and pull you to his chest. 

A/N: lmao, I’m sorry if this is bad. I tried. Hope you enjoyed!

And this is why it hurts more than it has to be.

There’s a lot of words I can’t write. There’s too much love I am about to offer. There’s so much questions and answers I can’t take. There’s so much of you in every little things I see. There’s a lot of songs, every bit of you, I remember. There’s so much fire and I can’t find a water to stop myself from burning.

I love you and it hurts more than it has to be.

—  her (MIS), i can’t unlove you

This breaks my heart! Do you know how much they want to give us fans a win on a music show! Do you know how much it hurts us fans that as much as we are trying to give them a win that they so badly deserve we still haven’t been able to!! I don’t understand what happened last night. It hurts me to see Wonho cry again. Everyone protects their faves and as a monbebe we want to do the same, we want to give them their first win. We want them to know how much we love them for their hard work. They work so hard for us fans and it feels as if everyone is still sleeping on monstax. MONSTA X
#몬스타엑스 #아름다워

anonymous asked:

I was soo heartbroken after watching S4. May I ask what gives you the strength to still believe? I'm admittedly lost at this point. And also - love and follow your blog ^^

Umm…this is not about belief actually. The show went shit. But I still have my Sherlock and John. Not the version Mofftiss changed them into. The version fandom created. Because Mofftiss didn’t care about them anymore, that’s very much clear from s4. So what I actually did was stop caring about whatever they did. I don’t accept s4 as canon. People can say that’s hypocrisy or something. I just don’t care. S4 hurts me regularly. Still (Hasn’t it been months? Why does it still hurt?). 

And I have friends here, the fandom gave me happiness. So at this point, it’s more about the fandom than the show.And I am getting into Granada and ACD again. Trying to fill the void s4 made with fanfictions(by reading and writing). It’s hard. I feel like crying over s4 once in a while. For the mess they made with my favourite show. I rant. I get angry but it won’t change anything. Moving on is impossible. I will never be invested at anything else as I was (or still am) in this show. 

So what I am saying is you don’t have to believe in anything. Keep away from negativity. And keep faith in the Sherlock and John you love. Not what happened in s4. Trust me, that kinda works.

So Much Has Changed

A/N: A request from @moreid-shematthew for some Prencia fluff, around the beginning of season 7 when Emily returns. @coveofmemories

                                                             —-

“I’m so sorry,” Emily cried, placing her arms around Penelope after walking into her apartment. For nearly eight months, she’d been presumed dead by those she loved most. One of the last things she’d said to Penelope was how much she loved her outlook on life - that no matter what came Garcia’s way, she was able to work through it with grace and joy. Emily had always admired that about her and had never told her. She meant it then and she still meant it now, but now, she realized how much of a ‘goodbye’ that was, and what that must’ve done to her. How much it must have hurt to have those be her last words to her. “I’m so sorry I did this to you.” Hotch and JJ obviously knew. Rossi technically didn’t know, but had definitely suspected, which left Spencer, Garcia and Morgan. Both Morgan and Spencer were having a difficult time with being lied to, but Emily wanted to make amends, so she started with Garcia - the only one open to having her right now. “I never meant to hurt you. Any of you,” she cried, her tears darkening the bright pink cardigan she was wearing. 

Without saying a word, Garcia wrapped her arms tighter around her friend’s neck. “I know you didn’t. And they know too. They just need a little time to work through everything,” she cried. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. You’re alive!” As she wrapped her arms tighter around Emily, something scared them both.

“Sergio!” Emily said, laughing as the cat curled up into her waiting hand. “I’ve missed you.” Since Emily had ‘died,’ Sergio had stayed with Garcia, so over the past months, he’d become accustomed to her, but as Emily let her hand fall to the cat’s side, he jumped into her arms; he’d missed her just as much. 

“I need visitation rights,” Garcia said, petting the content kitty as he sat in Emily’s arms. “He’s a love. Like his mom.” For a few minutes, the two of them just stood in the middle of the room, saying nothing as they doted on Sergio. “You wanna stay over tonight?” she asked. “Watch a movie.”

“That sounds…completely…normal,” Emily sighed happily. “Yes, please. Do you have Legally Blonde? Because I’m in the mood for some Elle Woods right now.”

“Of course I have Legally Blonde,” she laughed. “I had that the day it came out, and have since upgraded to the blu-ray.” Garcia had an array of movies. Superheroes to chick flicks, and horrors (although just a few) to rom-coms. “Can we watch Miss Congeniality after that? Because Sandra Bullock is my queen.”

As Emily lowered Sergio to the floor, he was reluctant to leave after so long apart, but she promised him he could follow her to the bathroom so she could get changed into some pajamas. “He’s in your sink, Garcia,” Emily laughed as she pulled on her top. 

“Oh he likes it in there,” she replied. “He chills in there a lot.” Within minutes, both women were changed in pajamas and sitting on the couch in front of Legally Blonde, just as they’d done nearly a year ago. It was just like old times, and yet so much had changed. As soon as Emily plopped into the couch, Sergio jumped in her lap, falling asleep almost immediately. 

“Bend and snap!” Emily said, just as one of her favorite parts came up. She and Garcia continued the mantra, petting Sergio simultaneously, until all of a sudden, Garcia turned to the side and saw that Emily was crying.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, surprised to see her friend weeping at a time like this. She was alive. They were watching movies. Everything was as it was. “You okay?”

“Sorry,” Emily said, taking a tissue from the side table and wiping away her tears. “It’s just…I was only over there for eight months…but I was over there for eight months.” She sobbed. The reality of what she’d been through finally coming to the surface. “I thought about you all every day. How much I missed you. Wondering if I would ever see you again. Maybe I’d end up staying there my entire life. It’s just all so surreal. And I can’t believe I’m finally back watching Legally Blonde with one of my best friends.”

Pulling her into her shoulder, Garcia said, “No matter where you are now. No matter what happens. You are never going to be without us again. That isolation won’t ever happen again. I promise.”

cupcakeseclipsed  asked:

So Flannel, you say you'd be furious if anyone ever hurt Petal but you seem to ignore that you yourself are hurting her in a much more permanent way by being disloyal to her. I know you are prepared to face whatever consequences there are for you if you were to be found out but have you thought about how much hurt it will cause Petal?

“I love her, I don’t want to hurt her, but I’m too fucked up to quit.”

anonymous asked:

can we talk about all the heartbreaking ways cisco says caitlin's name?? not counting the times he said it to earth-2 killerfrost (which are gut wrenching in their own right), there's the time zoom kidnapped caitlin, and he said it while standing there in shock, there's 'your name. is caitlin snow.' and now we have him saying it again when she's come back to life. you can really tell how much cisco cares about her, she is his anchor, he loves her so much

I want this to come around in the season finale, or whenever it is that we get closure on this story. I want the moment they know they’ve got their Caitlin back is when Cisco says her name, the name of her most true self, and she responds.

Oh help I’ve hurt myself again.

anonymous asked:

You know what I really don't understand? Why Karahell shippers love Mon-el so much. Really, since he showed up he haven't done anything right AND he is a horrible "person". If it's just because he is "cute" then they are really superficial, aren't them? He didn't even have a redemption arc, sorry a redemption arc takes time, it's not something that happens in 4/5 episodes. God I hate supergirl right now, it emotionally hurts me to watch something I used to love with all my heart

mood

mercy headcanons!!
  • played badminton in high school 
  • has a cybernetic spine!! it delivers a stream of nanobiotics to her when she’s hurt (self-heal ability!) and allows her to control the wings on the valkyrie suit
  • one of those perfectionists that procrastinates bc she doesn’t want to do it wrong
  • always sort of smells like “clean”. sometimes it’s from using so much sanitizer but she has a really clean smell 
  • lots and lots of anxiety. she’s well aware drinking 6 cups of coffee/tea a day aggravates it but does she stop? no 
  • she loves to read but she rarely has the time 
  • really likes white bread and pasta and perogies (+unashamedly chubby thighs and hips hello) 

Y’all do know that Jaal… isn’t real, right?

Like this whole, “If you were saying these things about a real person, it’d be really problematic” about the #makeJaalbi tag is a false equivalency, right?

Like, he doesn’t make his own choices, they’re written out for him by some nerd at a desk and then edited by a bunch of other nerds.

Nobody sat Jaal down and asked him if he was straight or not, he doesn’t have actual agency to make his own choices or establish his own preferences.

I’m all for death of the author when discussing a text but as a consumer and a person who should want to be compassionate, it’s kind of your moral obligation to sit down and think critically about what intent went into a piece or aspect of the media you consume and ask yourself /what/ that intent was and who, if anyone, is hurt by it.

And if you love a character so much that they feel real to you and you find this entire argument irrlelevant, then you’re only making my point for me about how important representation can be to people.

So, what intent is served by the people who want to ignore the fact that there’s already code in the game that has evidence of an intended and scrapped romance between Scott and Jaal and people insisting that “being bisexual didn’t fit his character.”? Their intent seems to be keeping bi and gay people from access to content and to preserve the integrity of a fictional character. This is hurtful to real life bi and gay fans of the series who already have very limited and frankly weak content aimed at them, especially since this is a AAA high exposure game and Bioware is one of the few companies willing to include any kind of LGBT content anyway. Real people with real lives and real feelings are hurt by this.

Now ask what intent is served by people asking for them to just finish the bi romance they already started? People wanting to… see themselves in a character? People wanting to share in the experience of a great sidestory? Sounds good to me. Who’s it hurt? If the only argument you can come up with is “well, what if the make believe alien doesn’t want to romance boys?” then I have some bad news for you. To reiterate my first point, Jaal is not real. 

I’ll take something being “OOC” (which is a post unto itself for how wrong that is) or slapped on in a quick patch over letting real marginalized people get hurt any day. And I’m frankly disgusted that you won’t.

anonymous asked:

How would the RFA+ Saeran react to MC having cancer or something? Especially if she tried to hide it and they found out? Love your blog btw <3 😄😘

You have no idea how much it means to me that you like my blog, thank you!!<3 I hope you wanted a happy ending on these, because I could never hurt my babies (also, I apologize if I didn’t portray anything good enough. I luckily have no experience with cancer whatsoever, so I had to reasearch all of it, which means you will have to blame google for my mistakes)


Yoosung

  • Even though he wasn’t studying human anatomy specifically, he did take biology classes to become a vet, which included learning about the human body
  • This meant that he fairly quickly realized that your wheezing and coughing wasn’t as innocent as you tried to convince him, especially not when you started choking blood
  • You admited that you had had lung cancer a few years earlier, and that it might be coming back
  • He rushed you to the hospital to take an x-ray of your chest, and your suspicions were confirmed
  • You had a lung carcinoid tumor, which was the rarest type of lung cancer, but luckily the one with the highest survival rate
  • You underwent surgery again and made full recovery, but Yoosung made sure you got checked at least twice a year after that


Zen

  • As he was heavily into body worshipping, he would notice even the smallest change about you
  • So when he saw that the rash you had always had on your thigh was starting to fade, you lost weight quickly and was more fatigued, he was starting to wonder if you either a) found a really good cream and just happened to start working out more or b) you were developing an eating disorder
  • When he expressed his worry to you one day (not in a confrontal way, he just asked about your eating habits as he was usually too busy to make sure you ate at least 3 healthy meals a day), you felt bad that you worried him when it was just the chemo against your relatively innocent skin cancer, and it was working as it should
  • You told him, and his jaw dropped
  • ?? How didn’t he know ?? When had you gotten your treatments ??
  • You confessed that when he had long days at set or most of the time when you claimed to sleep over at your parents house, you were in the hospital
  • He hid how hurt and shocked he was and made you promise to let him come next time, as he needed to see for himself that everything was okay


Jaehee

  • She got worried when she noticed that you were bloated and bleeding more often than what would’ve been normal for your period cycle (which she of course kept track of)
  • When she asked you if something was wrong, you shrugged it off as a hormonal unbalance
  • She insisted on at least seeing a gynecologist, and you reculantely told her that you already knew what was wrong
  • You confessed that you had endometrial cancer (in the uterus)
  • Shocked because you hid it from her, she started reasearching the survival rate and was releaved to see that it was high
  • Suggested to just operate your uterus out, as that was the easiest solution and “she could carry your children, if you one day wish that”
  • She was very supportive


Jumin

  • Whenever you started getting intimidate, you would always pull away as soon as he was about to take your bra off
  • He figured you just weren’t comfortable enough with him yet, so he respected your boundaries
  • One day when he came home from work, he could hear you crying and talking to someone on the phone
  • “I don’t know mom, I think the cancer has spread more than the doctors initially thought, I probably have to remove my entire left breast… No, I can’t let you pay for it… I-I will figure something out, okay?
  • Jumin was shocked, and realized that you probably tried to hide it from him
  • Quietly he went to you and hugged you from behind, muttering in your ear that he would take care of it and pay for everything, including the best surgeons money could hire and a breast implant to replace your left boob if you wanted
  • At the start you refused, but the worry in his eyes made it clear that he was dead serious so you eventually accepted it


707

  • Hahaha did you really think you could hide anything from him
  • This boy already knew that you had osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer, and that you were going to have surgery in just a few weeks
  • You had already been in chemotherapy for a few months, and was insecure about the fact that you were losing your hair quicky
  • So when he described you to the rest of the RFA as a cute girl, it made you really happy!
  • Was scared shitless of losing you but no way he would let you know, so sometimes he would joke about being glad that his horoscope wasn’t cancer, as you had enough of it already and would have to get rid of him


Saeran/Unknown

  • He barely even knew what cancer was
  • He just innocentely asked why your hair seemed to be thinning, out of curiousity when he was playing with it
  • “Oh don’t worry, it’s just the medicine I take”
  • You didn’t want him to worry about you dying and leaving him, as the mole your skin cancer was in already had been operated away, and you had basically recovered
  • When he asked you to explain what for and you hesitantely told him,he got really upset and left the room
  • You searched the house for him, and found him in your bed clutching your pillow and muttering that he didn’t want to lose you
  • It took a lot of ice cream to convince him that you really were okay, but he did understand why you would hide it as he wasn’t exactly an open book himself

takemeawaytocamelot  asked:

I have to say. I'm incredibly jealous of writers like you and Gotham for your ability to beautifully weave in lines from the book and show canon. Even if you change who actually says them, you bring those words in seamlessly. I'm really in love with this new story of yours (I know, big shocker). But that "nothing hurts when you love me" line just KILLED me. So SO very beautiful.

Owww, thank you so so so much lovely @takemeawaytocamelot!! But you shouldn’t be jealous at all, it’s not as hard to get those lines in, as it is to create a wonderful plot - and that you do so beautifully! I love that Jamie dixit and thought it was the perfect way to end this first part of the story. 

Btw, I’m saving your Vegas AU to finally catch up to this weekend, when hopefully I’ll be able to breathe a little. Can’t wait!! <3

anonymous asked:

I need a full backstory and the drarry hurt/comfort and angst drawing😂. That one was stunning and I think by far my favorite one you've done😍. I love all the details you put into your work! Keep up the amazing work💪

thank you so much! 

well, this is very much from the auror!harry/unspeakable!draco au so really it’s meant to be an episode, but I’ll try to summarise under the cut basically:

Keep reading

It hurts knowing I’ll never tell my parents that I’m not a muslim. I love them, they’ve done so much for me and I appreciate it all. But I know that they will never accept me as a non-muslim.

I’m used to lying to them about little things, but something as big as this… I’m afraid of slipping up and telling them one day, because I know that I’ll reach a point where I won’t be able to contain myself.

I want to live my life, I want to be free, but I can’t hurt them.