i-love-my-mama

  • Me when people are rude about Mary: gets really upset and like oh my gosh how DARE you, you ignorant piece of-
  • Mary, the beautiful Mother of God, most holy: hush, my child, be kind and loving. Respond charitably and pray that God may help them to understand.
  • Me, getting ready to fight: NO, THEY BESMIRCHED YOUR VIRTUE AND THEY WILL FEEL MY WRATH
Blowjob

Deadpool x Reader

Warnings: It’s fucking Deadpool. 

Summary: Your girl Nega hooks you up with Wade Wilson. 

Originally posted by my-daily-space

The bar was dingy as fuck.

Fuck it was downright biowaste, but it was the place your date picked. And now you were questioning the whole damn thing.

Cursing Nega under your breath for setting you up with her ‘friend’, you hustled into the bar and looked down at your phone. Quickly you texted the number of Wade Wilson, the man you had been talking to on and off for the last week and a half.

“I’m here.”

A second later, your cell buzzed. “Holy shit you’re way hotter in person. Fuck me.”

Another buzz. “Full disclosure, I have a boner.”

Another buzz. “Also my penis is big.”

Keep reading

How do you describe your parents?
  • Himawari: Papa and Mama are the best! Papa is a-
  • Boruto: *interrupts* BAKA! Who needs a stupid old man when you have a beautiful strong mama!
  • Hinata: Boruto! That's not nice to say about your father.
  • Naruto: Don't worry Hinata! It's fine..
  • Boruto: I hope the Ramen shop gets shut down.
  • Naruto: Take it back child!
  • _______________________________
  • Sarada: Mama is always there for me and whenever I'm ill, she lays beside me. Whereas, papa will protect no matter what!
  • Sakura: Aw that's nice to say.
  • Sasuke: I will protect here no matter what! Even from that little pikachu banana shaped head brat!
  • Sarada: That's not nice to say about Boruto... I mean....
  • Sasuke: Oh no...he has got into you. Don't worry, my child, I will erase those feelings and let you become free.
  • Sarada: Papa?!!! No, I don't have any feelings for Boruto.
  • Sasuke: Not even one bit?
  • Sarada: I....
  • Sasuke: *activates sharingan* I'm coming for you Uzumaki brat!
  • Sakura: Darling...calm down
  • _______________________________
  • Mitsuki: My mama...my papa......let's just say that I have a parent.
  • Orochimaru: *smiles* Im his parent.
  • Mitsuki: My parent has trained me and taken care of me and feeded me and...I'm not sure if I should my parent my mama or my papa....it's confusing...
  • Orochimaru: I'm just an amazing parent. *flicks his hair*
  • _______________________________
  • Shikadai: My dad is an hardworking man and he is always here for dinner.
  • Boruto: *interrupts*
  • UNLIKE MY FATHER!!!
  • Shikadai: Buzz off Boruto....
  • Boruto: *fades away*
  • Shikadai: anyways, my mother is......erm...
  • Temari: *gives a scary look to Shikadai*
  • Shikadai: is an amazing woman. I love her to bits. She is so strong with her wind fan. I love my mama...
  • Temari: Hmph *smiles*
  • Shikadai: What a drag.....
  • Temari: You just thought 'What a drag' didn't you, Shikadai?
  • Shikadai: How...do you.....know?
  • Temari: No dinner for you!
  • Shikadai: *cries inside*
  • ___________________________
  • Inojin: My mother is so beautiful and that's how I got these looks
  • Ino: Aw my cute child.
  • Inojin: Papa is so happy to see me all the time. We go shopping and training together.
  • Sai: That's right!
  • Inojin: ...and he always tells me his jokes about mama!
  • Ino: Jokes?! What kind of jokes?
  • Sai: ....
  • Inojin: *whispers to Ino*
  • Ino: *blushes* SAIIIIIIII!!!!!
  • Sai: I should run....
  • ___________________________
  • Chocho: Mama shows me how I am strong and beautiful in every way. My mama tells me that I'm not fat. It's just my curves and I love her home made food. Papa and me always get along. We go to restaurants and eat, we go to parks and eat. We even go to shopping eat. And buy most things from the shop! Even his card got declined!
  • Karui: Are you serious?
  • Choji: Hehe....
  • Chocho: I love them both!
  • ____________________________
  • Kiba's child: Mama is so nice to me. She will always be there to kiss me to sleep and wake me up in the morning. She makes nice breakfast and a warm hug. Me and mama are always studying and training together and my grades are doing very well and my strength
  • Tamaki: I'm glad you like it, my kitten.
  • Kiba's child: Papa is so fun! We go to the park and he lets me ride on Akamaru and we jump from cliff to cliff!
  • Tamaki: Wait, what?!
  • Kiba's child: There was even a time when me, Boruto and papa jumped from the Hokage's faces and we landed on soft bouncy mattress.
  • Tamaki: WHAT?! KIBA?!!!!
  • Kiba: ...gotta go *sprints away*
  • ________________________
  • Metal Lee: Papa and I are always training because we both do it for youth and mama makes me warm and happy. Even when I get nervous!
  • Lee: That's my boy!
  • Metal's Lee mother: My little cute dragon.

anonymous asked:

96 ples

  • 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

Of course my mama is attractive. How can you explain my attractiveness?

Originally posted by tamtambts

(Mun, your Seokjin is showing)

ask me list

أمي العزيزة ،
فلا شيء أجمل منك و لا شيء أسعد مني بك.

My Dear Mother ,
There is nothing more beautiful than you
& nothing is happier than me with you.
headcanons that victor often call his mother at 3 am for advice
  • when victor nikiforov is 25 years old, he realizes he is quite alone
    • he calls his mama at 3 am to vent about this loneliness thing
    • mama niki who is working late on her painting picks up
    • and the first thing she hears is vic niki whining
    • ‘MAMA, IS IT NORMAL TO BE LONELY?‘
    • mama niki hangs up, he calls her again, she picks up
    • ‘mama, i am losing inspiration and i am lonely‘
    • ‘get yourself a muse to spark inspiration‘
    • ‘where do i get myself a muse?‘
    • mama niki hangs up, he calls her again, she picks up
    • ‘mama, are you saying i should be in a relationship?‘
    • ‘it’s one of the options, but it’s not necessarily a person‘
    • ‘but who is going to date the victor nikiforov, russian ice prince?‘
    • mama niki hangs up
  • when victor nikiforov is 27 years old, he falls in love
    • he calls his mama at 3 am to tell her of this exciting development
    • mama niki who is washing dishes at 3 am picks up
    • and the first thing she hears is vic niki crying
    • ‘what’s wrong, my vitya?‘
    • ‘I FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE, MAMA!’
    • normally mama niki would hang up
    • ‘why are you crying, my vitya?‘
    • ‘he’s gone, mama’
    • ‘he disappeared into the thin air‘
    • mama niki hangs up, he calls her again, she picks up
    • ‘mama, this is important‘
    • ‘we’ll talk about this when you come home‘
    • ‘why can’t we talk through the phone like usual?‘
    • mama niki hangs up, he calls her again, she picks up
    • ‘ok, ok, we’ll talk at home‘
    • ‘i love you so much, my mama‘
    • ‘i love you too, my precious vitya‘
  • when victor nikiforov is 30 years old, he’s getting married
    • he calls his mama at 3 am to inform her of his wedding plans
    • mama niki who is arranging victor’s photo albums picks up
    • and the first thing she hears is vic niki’s calm voice
    • ‘mama, i want to bring yuuri to come visit‘
    • ‘i have already met his parents in japan‘
    • ‘so i want to bring him to meet mine‘
    • ‘will it be ok if i bring him?’
    • mama niki pauses
    • ‘when do you wish to bring him here?‘
    • ‘next week, on sunday, perhaps?‘
    • ‘ok, do you need anything?‘
    • vic niki pauses
    • ‘mama, i am going to tell him‘
    • ‘tell him about what?‘
    • ‘about us‘
    • ‘me‘
    • mama niki pauses
    • ‘are you sure?‘
    • ‘it hurts, but i want yuuri to know everything‘
    • ‘i will tell him everything that he should know‘
    • ‘when he comes, you can talk to him about it‘
  • when victor nikiforov is 32 years old, he welcomes a baby
    • he calls his mama at 3 am to ask how to stop a baby’s crying
    • mama niki who is folding baby clothes picks up
    • ‘MAMA, SOFIA WON’T STOP CRYING!’
    • ‘perhaps she’s hungry?‘
    • ‘we already fed her‘
    • ‘she soiled her diaper?’
    • ‘we already changed it‘
    • ‘she’s sleepy?’
    • ‘we already sang a lullaby‘
    • ‘she has gas?‘
    • ‘how does one get rid of gas?‘
    • mama niki tells him how
    • ‘i don’t think it’s working‘
    • ‘we’re going to your house‘
    • ‘yuuri, let’s pack up and go!‘
    • mama niki panics
    • 'w-wait, vitya! don’t be hasty! it’s only 3 am!’
    • ‘i think it’s better if you take a look at her!‘
    • ‘we will see you soon, bye, mama!‘
    • he hangs up
    • ‘vitya? vitya!‘

Mama, you are so strong. Abba’s going to take care of you, and His hand is over you in everything that you go through. This surgery will have nothin’ on you, just like your first hand surgery could not hinder you. Thank you for being strong, independent and fearless in the face of all things that desperately want to work against you. Abba is great in you, and you reflect His love and authority mightily.

2

am selek, means beet in hebrew! used to be stray kitty when was smol kitten, then hoomann brought me home. grandma likes me, but my momma loves me the mostest! she kiss me and pet me and hold me and give me treats, calls me good, kind, gentle girl, the most beautiful girl she ever see, the love of her life. i love my mama and i sleep with her every night. if i need anything, i just go to mama and ask, and she gives me. i follow moma everywhere she goes. i am happy kitty! soft and warm like mashed potatoe!!!!

✨I love being mama ✨
Cradling my heavenly angel Pueo in the carrier my coworker/friend at Kauai Farmacy’s mom gifted us from Guatemala :)
After we took this photo he napped under my breast while I painted ✨👶✨
I have not put a shirt on since I birthed him :) 10 days young!!!!