right now i’m laying on the floor of my bedroom. it’s dark. the only light on is a small lamp in the corner. i’m listening to music i’ve never listened to before and it reminds me of something else i listened to once but i can’t figure out what it is. my mother’s in the next room watching clips of a tv show she’s never watched in full and laughing so much and so loud she’s filling the entire room. i wonder if she knows that, how big her presence is right now in an otherwise quiet house. how big her presence is in all of our lives.

i’ve been reading a lot of mary oliver’s essays and i love her connection with nature and wild things. how she can talk about foxes but also have something to say about humanity and the way we live all at the same time. it’s such an organic relationship she has with everything she interacts with. a deep understanding and respect for how the natural world works. a recognition to give as much as take. it’s like she’s presented me with an idea of who i want to become. the conversations i want to have with the bees and the forests. the wild weeds and the bullfrogs.

some days feel messier than others. today didn’t feel so messy with its pink and yellow tulips, its dandelions and its honey. i’m trying, i’m really trying. i don’t know who i’m trying to convince when i say that. maybe in all this i’m saying that a little mess is okay. a little mess is just fine.

Goodbye Michael and the MW fandom

Days ago, I made a small post about feeling unsure about my blog. I’ve been a fan of Michael for quite some years and I loved to be connected with other fans of him. But for me, it was a journey that is over now.

Michael’s latest interview shocked and hurt me deeply. I never thought I could lose my respect for him, never thought it was even possible. Now I know it is. It’s hard to admit that to myself because I kind of grew up looking up to him. I will miss the time in the Michael fandom but I cannot force myself to continue supporting him.

I would never demand from Michael to let other people decide with whom he can be friends or not. I accepted his friendship with Cote but I was glad that I wouldn’t have to watch him along with her on screen again. Listening to him talk about how he and Cote talk about to re-unite on Bull or this stupid pitch idea he mentioned, it hurts to realize that Michael seems to think he needs to do that. Why? I don’t know. Need for attention from the public or his fans? Is he just messing around again? Who knows. I certainly don’t know anymore and after all those years I’m so sick and tired of this stupid game Michael and Cote play.

So after all that, I’m out. I’ll continue to watch NCIS and hope that Ziva won’t ever show up. And at this point, I don’t even want Tony to show up again. And to say and admit that hurts. It hurts so much. I’m through with Michael. I’m really disappointed and wish him all the best but I cannot look up to someone who seems to think and believe that he needs Cote and Tiva to be recognized and appreciated. He doesn’t but I guess he doesn’t see that.

Goodbye, D.

anonymous asked:

Ok so imagine that Keith and Lance both save Shiro together and after Shiro and Keith hug and talk alone. It's understandable for Lance because they both care a lot about each other, but he just feels so out of place and envious of that connection.

I love this, I just wanna say that before I add more. 

And now imagine, that the same thing happens to Lance. Everyone rushes to save him, they all give him hugs, and smile, and pat his back, but no one talks to him. No one wants to be alone with him. Hunk wants to hang with Pidge, Coran and Allura are doing something on the ship, and Keith and Shiro? Talking like always. So he goes and rests on the planet they’re in for awhile. He doesn’t really want to gp back. 

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees someone. Its a galra, but a strange one. He has long white hair. This strange Galra talks to him, makes him feel better, makes him feel wanted in the first time in forever. He says that he would like too know more about  Lance. So Lance tells him. 

He doesn’t know that Keith is looking for him. He doesn’t know that Keith is searching for him. He doesn’t know that Keith has alerted the others that lance is gone. All he knows is that Keith finds him and the Galra, and yells at him. 

Lance doesn’t want to fight. Lance just wants to let go. But the Galra wants a fight, he yells at Keith for talking to Lance that way. He defends Lance too a T. When Keith starts telling off Lance for hanging out with him, Lance loses it. All that fire comes back, “Because ALL Galra are evil, aren’t they Keith?!”

He goes off, saying how the team doesn’t actually need him. How Keith and Shiro have each other, and Hunk and Pidge got one another, how Allura never liked him, and how Coran probably felt the same. He snaps. Utterly and compltely. And he cries, and the Galra catches him as he falls, comforting him. 

Keith is horrified. He made Lance cry. Lance, however, doesn’t want to deal with any of this. The Galra caries him back to the castle, much to everyone’s disapproval, Keith in toe. They need to talk about this. All of them needed to talk about this. 

The Galra introduces himself as Lotor once Lance is asleep in his bed. 


I love being a storyteller because I love connecting with people. I love disappearing into other worlds. It’s also a way that we understand one another even though we may have differences. I think differences are great because they make our lives more fascinating and I’m grateful for all of the storytelling in films that I’ve experienced.


I love the connection to the fans and the interactions we have. I feel like for the first time in my career I am playing a character who is really contributing some good to the world. The relationship between Waverly and Nicole is opening up much needed dialogue about confidence, self-worth, queer representation and equality. It’s given my career a whole new level of purpose and I will be forever grateful.

Lance Love

I don’t connect with any of the other characters as much as Lance. Pidge is this genius hacker, Hunk and Coran are engineer specialists, Shiro and Allura are badass leaders, and Keith is a skilled swordsman and flier. These characters are so very talented, and Lance respects them and looks up to them. He compares himself to them, he works hard to achieve this greatness, yet someone is either one step ahead of him or he isn’t good enough. And that is a problem I see in Lance and myself. Both of us unnecessarily compare ourselves to others and as we do it makes us feel worthless. We take pride in the small praises because genuine praise of any kind is a rarity when surrounded by so much talent that it becomes normal. We act like we are the best because we feel like the worst. Lance is a character made to be relatable not only to me, but so many others. And I sure you can make this argument for the other characters in Voltron, but it is Lance’s supposed mediocrity that makes me hold him closest to me heart.

Thedas Connections

I love that Merrill is from the same clan as Warden Mahariel.

I love that Inquisitor Cadash is related, however distantly, to everyone’s favorite bird-hating golem, Shale.

I love that the Hawke family is related to Warden Amell.

I don’t love that Warden Surana was taken so early that they can’t remember who their family was… but I do love the potential that gives fanfiction writers to invent their own fascinating backgrounds.

I love that Warden Brosca is related to the prince of Orzammar (and that they get a statue in a special spot in Orzammar).

I love that the Trevelyan family is related to House Pavus.

I love that the Cousland’s ancestors were involved in Flemeth’s story… and also werewolves.

I love that Clan Lavellan was savvy enough to send a spy to the Conclave, and then bold enough to demand the Inquisitor be returned to them unharmed.

I love that Warden Tabris’s mom passed down a knife that has been in their family since the Exalted Marches called the fucking Fang of Fen'Harel (!!!!)

I love the letter Adaar gets from the Valo-Kas Mercenaries that has a P.P.S. that says “If you are dead, disregard this message.”

I love that House Aeducan was begun by a dwarf who led the dwarven armies against the darkspawn during the First fucking Blight, holy shit!

I love that Serault is the last destination of Divine Justinia before the Conclave, and that the poor Marquis of Serault gets kidnapped and needs to be rescued by the Inquisition!

Basically, I love that the Warden, Hawke and the Inquisitor (and even the Marquis of Serault) all have a place and history and a gods-be-damned stake in this world, regardless of where they come from.

I crave to love. I crave to be loved. I crave a connection so deep and profound, it frightens me to my core to lose it at any instant. I want passion and romance. I want someone who I can talk to the whole night and in whose arms I can lay in the next day.
I want fucking butterflies in my stomach, I want my knees to go weak, my stomach to flip, and heart to lose its shit.
I long for something meaningful, something worthwhile. I long to feel myself falling in love. With someone’s smile, with their laugh, their eyes, the way they look at me, the way they make me feel. I just want to feel something so deep and so beautiful, it changes my whole world.
—  Random thoughts

aproperrogering  asked:

Hey Will-why the hell isn't there an app like tinder but for fandoms? I bet there are a ton of people in my area that like the same things, but we are busy reading, writing, hiding😀I would love to connect with different fans in my area and watch movies, premieres, geek out- but I can't find them!

That’s a really good idea.

thanks to Omen trailer now i can draw mooore sad things >:D

I really love how they kept thanking army and talking about what they saw and met I love that connection they do with us it makes me feel safe💖

Things I Love About The On The Spot Episode With The Free Play Crew
  • Every Time They’re Talking And The Camera Cuts To Jon With A Look Of Deep Regret
  • Hearing Michael Laughing Like A Maniac From The Audience
  • Hashtag Assplay
  • Team Been Trying To Fuck
  • Meg Shouting “Team Been Trying To Fuck” And Ryan Making A Heart With His Hands Behind Her
  • “This Is What You’re Fighting For; The Golden Gus-”
    Ryan Elbows Jon And Takes It “We Won!”
    They All Start Singing The Theme Like That Was All Planned
  • Ryan Covertly Taking, Dismantling And Replacing The Golden Gus
  • “White People Can Be Bait” And Then Everyone Loses It
  • As Soon As Ryan Says “Find A Corpse” Mariel’s Exasperated “Goddammit Ryan”
  • Ryan Awkwardly Going Along With The Sponsor Read
  • When Ryan Loses The Screw From Gus And Starts Looking For It Under His Chair, Confusing Everyone
  • “Morgue- Ah- Er- Meg!”
  • “Why The Fuck Would He Find Romance In Deep Space”
  • “I Tried This With Ray And He Betrayed Me Too, Go With It
  • When Meg’s Yelling At Ryan For Not Describing A Romance And He Recoils With The Most Amused Grin
  • When Meg Flicks Ryan To Make Him Stop
  • Mariel And Tyler Dying As They Try To Describe Kindergarten Cop Without Just Describing Kindergarten Cop
  • Ryan Singing Africa By Toto While Being Shocked
  • Ryan “How Many More Do I Have To Do?”
    Jon “Alright You’re Done”
    Ryan Hits The Button Again “I LIKE IT”
  • Tyler Being Confused About The Alphabet
  • Everything About Ryan And Meg’s Roleplay
  • When The Golden Gus Falls Apart And Everybody Loses It
  • They’re All Just Cheering And Laughing Like Kids Who Overthrew The Teacher
  • “It’s Finally Over, We Can Leave
  • When They All Run Off And Jon’s Just Left Staring Into The Abyss Behind The Credits
  • The Sheer Amount Of Screenshots Of Ryan And Meg Laughing It Has Blessed Me With
I want to tell you a story.

I want to tell you a story.

I’ve been a good kid all my life.
Was an overachiever, was smart. People liked me, I was told.
I had friends. I never really knew that though. Because
I was always in trouble.
With authorities.
I didn’t know what the dynamic was. I just knew I was a “fuck up.”
Any time I stood up for myself when I was being wronged, I was punished.
Any activity I loved, they would find a way to take it away.
Any time I was myself, it was bad.

And because of this, I never let myself have the good things.
I never let myself even experience joys, even as I was creating them.

As I climbed greater heights, I was told it was because of XYZ, but never
because I was talented, smart, diligent, thoughtful, kind.
It was because I was being given things.
Because I was cute.
Or a girl, and cause you know, we’re “In” right now.
I worked very very hard.
I work very hard.
But my whole life, I thought, “When will I be good enough. Why am I so bad?”
And I’ve hated myself.

Flash forward to me, at 30, premiering a movie I wrote, directed, starred in.
People really loved it.
Something born in my brain, but mostly my heart, made it a very long way
To be watched by strangers in a beautiful theater.

A man who I grew up with, a man who spear-headed this bad dynamic in my life,
said to a friend of mine, after people left the theater
“You know, Noël never knew how to behave.”
He said it as a joke, I’m sure, as it’s often presented,
When someone wants to tear you down with a smile.

I was very sad to hear this.
That even at the height of my success so far, I’m still not good enough.
I’m a misbehave-er. For valuing myself. And my voice.
For telling a kind story. About fucking up and forgiving people.
I was crushed.

I’ve been very heartbroken.
And I’ve sat in it for a few days.
Like I’ve sat in it my whole life.
But this time, something different happened.
The sadness started to transform.
And with it, some identity started to break down.
This victimhood. Of being told me, my essence,
my being, is wrong.

And in it’s place, a new emotion has started to develop.
I think they call it “RAGE”

This past week,
I feel like an animal.
I am a fury
at every man who has told me
being great is being bad.
Doing what I love, connecting with people, and expressing myself
is wrong.
At every PERSON who has internalized violence, misogyny, or injustice as TRUTH
and locked people up inside of it.
For every person who doesn’t see me for me,
Or who can’t see any CHILD, or WOMAN, or OTHER who sees things as they are.

I am a madness toward anyone who doesn’t recognize how incredibly powerful
I am.
We all are.
KINDNESS is not a weakness. LEADERSHIP isn’t BADNESS.
And neither is my ANGER.
My anger isn’t bad, it’s the truth.

I am very mad. I will let it pass, but I am allowed to be
enraged by all that has been taken from me.
And all the ways I’ve been told I was wrong,
When I’ve been right all along.

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts about the sugakookie storyline in the MVs?

i don’t think i have anything new to say but i’ll try my best since you’re interested in my opinion for some reason lol

as shown in “i need u” and “prologue” they obviously love and care about each other

something interesting to notice: both yoongi and jungkook are assosiated with the piano

Keep reading