i-love-chicago

A peek inside my middle school X-Files scrapbook...

So, I’ve tried to think of something meaningful that I could get the XF cast to sign at Wizard World this weekend, and I started thinking a lot about my childhood X-Files Scrapbook.

After a few days of hunting (where I found a lot of other cool stuff from the 90s), I found my beloved scrapbook deep in my storage unit. I took a peek inside, and it’s just this incredible confluence of XF fandom + puberty. 

Some highlights…

Yes, that’s right, before we kept “receipts” on Tumblr, we were scrapbooking them. Please note the fuzzy dog stickers holding everything together because I am dying.

Weekly TV Guide advertisements that I definitely got off some website and printed off of my IBM Aptiva. This was for The Rain King. Note that I am the woman in love. I, a 12 year old, am Fox Mulder’s greatest peril.

I found this Tofutti Fruitti promo in some women’s magazine, cut it out, and made the connection. FBI Agent in training over here.

At my school we were “forced” to make covers for our textbooks. We had free creative reign as long as it wasn’t “offensive”. This is but one of my textbook covers. I think it’s the nicest one. Note the shippiness and the pre-Gillovny era Gillovny photos.

I definitely printed the shippy quote from Haven’s collection of shippy quotes. For sure.

This was a health class assignment on puberty. I think from grades 6-8 I managed to work The X-Files into every. single. school. assignment. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one who is obsessed with X-Files.” Which was kinda true of my peer group at the time.

Cover page for my home ec assignment. You know, I think I was a better writer and creative as a child, even though I still work in a creative industry today/have a fucking masters degree.

A friend left this in my mailbox when she came by to hang out and I wasn’t there. My friends really knew how to fuck with me.

Ok, but look at this (PRINTED!!) online poll. How the fuck could they split up the shippers like that? I demand a recount.

I found these photos in a fashion magazine and was inspired. Again, I was a better writer/creative as a child. This is fucking hilarious.

Above, a school assignment where we had to make a totem pole of our interests/dreams. This is the kind of cultural appropriation they wouldn’t allow in Canadian schools today. Can you spot the Emmy and the Golden Globe?

Hope you enjoyed this lil trip down memory lane. Oh, and if you’re at Wizard World this weekend, say hi! I’ll be lugging this monstrosity around and you’re welcome to check it out in person.

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Artemi “Doe-Eyed” Panarin (x) | requested by anon 

I was taking the elevator in a hotel I’m staying at and this girl was bright red, obviously wasted, and she stares at me. She slur-yells “DO YOO LIKE PEENUT BUTTR?” so naturally I say yes and she says “I… EAT IT.. BY. THE. SPUNFULL.” I look at the guy she was with and he had his lips pursed but then says “The sex is great, I promise.”

Winter in chicago:

60° F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Chicago sunbathe.

50° F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in Chicago plant gardens.

40° F: Italian & English cars won’t start. People in Chicago drive with the windows down.

32° F: Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan’s water gets thicker.

20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Chicago throw on a flannel shirt.

15° F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0° F: All the people in Miami die. Chicagoans close the windows.

10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.

25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. People in Chicago get out their winter coats.

40° below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Chicago let the dogs sleep indoors.

100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can’t start their cars.

460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Chicago start saying, “cold ‘nuff for ya?”

500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Cubs win the World Series.