i-look-sad

I’m not missing you - I don’t do that anymore… I just happen to be sitting in our favorite café on the anniversary of the day we met. Don’t read too much into it, it’s just a habit; a ritual; It doesn’t mean I miss you… and the fact that I keep looking up at the door whenever anyone comes in is completely beside the point.
Life went on without you, I moved on… I just agonize a little over what photo’s to put on Facebook because I worry if look too happy you might think I never cared… but if I look too sad then it looks like I’m not coping - so they have to be in the middle somewhere. They have to look like I’m ‘okay’… because I am… I am totally okay and I’m not missing you at all. Really I’m not… it’s just a coincidence that every character in a TV series that looks even slightly like you or does something that reminds me of you instantly becomes my favorite and I always seem to have a slight crush on them.
I don’t miss you… really I don’t. I just cried in the carpark of the supermarket once because I passed a guy who was wearing your cologne…. But I don’t miss you… I can’t…. I’ve never had the opportunity to…
Because since the day you left my life, you’ve never once left my mind.
Depressed little

Little: *stops coloring and starts to tear up*

Caregiver: *looks over to check on them and notices*

Caregiver: Sweetie, what’s wrong?

Little: *covers face and begins to cry*

Caregiver: *quickly comes to there little* shhh, sweetie, I’m here. Daddy is here.

Little: *opens arms and falls onto their caregiver*

Caregiver: *wraps arms around little and holds her*

Little: *sniffles and holds on*

Caregiver: *reaches over and gets a stuffie and hands it to little*

Little: *takes the stuffie and hugs it*

Caregiver: *rubs littles back* baby, I’m here for you. Please tell me what’s wrong

Little: *stops crying and looks up* I got sad.. I don’t know why it just, it just.. *tears up again*

Caregiver: *rocks little* shhh, baby. I understand. Its ok to get upset, even without a reason. It happens

Little: *stops crying again* are you sure..

Caregiver: *nods* yes. Its ok. I’ve got you, I’ll make sure you’re ok

Little: *curls up and let’s caregiver comfort them*

Caregiver: *comforts little till she falls asleep*

(a friendly reminder its ok to get sad for no reason💗)

The final goodbye letters from Sistar. (。・ω・。)ノ♡ 

Hyorin 

To the STAR1s that have always loved and supported SISTAR.
Hello, it’s SISTAR’s leader Hyorin. It’s already been 7 years since SISTAR debuted. The time I spent as SISTAR’s Hyorin along with SISTAR and my fans was a precious time that I wouldn’t change for anything else. They were like a dream. Now, the SISTAR members will be going our own ways for our 2nd life. I want to sincerely thank our fans that let us know how happy and lucky we were to sing, to go on stage, to be loved, and to love others. We are putting behind a big sadness and supporting each other’s dreams, and will be working our best to grow in our own areas. The members and STAR1, who I love, will remain forever in my heart. STAR1 are precious and have always given me abundant love and strength even though I was lacking. Thank you with all my heart. I love you..

Bora

STAR1, hello, it’s SISTAR’s Bora.

I told fans every year that we should be happy, and I hope that you were all happy for the seven years you spent with us. The time that I spent with STAR1 and SISTAR members was happy and precious. I think that I couldn’t show my sincerity to as much as people as I tried to, and my disappointment at not being able to do the best for you as SISTAR gets bigger. When fans told me they got strength from my brightness, I got stronger. I won’t forget that and keep getting stronger.

Even as I write this, I have so many memories. Now, the members have agreed to support our own road. But it’s not that we won’t get to see you again, so I’ll work to be a good Yoon Bo Ra from now on. All the STAR1 that loved SISTAR and Bora, I was thankful and happy you were with us. Let’s keep being happy. I love you ^^

Soyou

It’s already been 7 years. I think I was happier during happy times and had it better during hard times because of the members and STAR1 that were always next to me. When I look back, I’m sad and sorry that I couldn’t spend that much time with our fans. No matter what stage I stand on from now on, I won’t ever forget this feeling I have for the members and our fans. I love you, I’m sorry, and thank you. I’ll let you hear good music. Let’s all be happy until the last moment.

Dasom 

To STAR1.
Hello everyone, it’s Dasom. It’s been a while.
I have a lot I want to tell you, but I’m worried about what to start with.
It’s been 7 years since SISTAR debuted. I want to first thank everyone who have always supported us and loved us during this long period.
I think I was able to happily finish the 7 years with you, when it could have been hard. And it was also motivation for all of us to grow.
It’s very sad, but SISTAR has decided to go our separate ways after this album is finished. We received so much love as SISTAR, and we want to give it back bit by bit by ourselves from now on. I will try to communicate more with fans from now on. Please support us. Thank you.

My Thoughts on Swish Swish

I stan someone who has recently written stuff like

“Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life”
And
“You push my love away like it’s some kind of loaded gun”
And
“I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places”
And
“I wish it wasn’t 4 am, standing in the mirror saying to myself, you know you had to do it I know,”

And I have to deal with
“Swish Swish bish”

….case closed.

Please Watch “Orange”

Ok everyone. I’m sure some of you have probably heard of this anime, and those people who have heard of it have probably strayed away from it for the same reasons I did. 

I am a huge fan of romance anime. I’m basically addicted to anything involving love, but I was weary of this show, called “Orange,” because (1) you learn from within the first few minutes of the first episode that the love interest is going to die, (2) it looks really cliché, (3) it is not very popular, and (4) it looks sad. 

I was wrong. So very wrong. 

(1) Yes, the anime has it’s bleak, raw moments, but those moments were the ones that I never had anticipated that I would appreciate the most. Something that definitely became an admirable point of the anime was it’s very real, non-sugar-coated portrayal of depression, mental illness, suicide, and grief. This series does what most shojou romance series shy away from and actually shows the audience what depression is like through Kakeru, the fated-to-die protagonist, and the seriousness of suicide. 

As someone who has personally battled with clinical depression for years and has been to therapy and counselling, this anime hit home for me. The faking smiles, pretending everything is okay, the self-loathing, thinking you are at fault, thinking you are a burden to others, denying yourself happiness, not allowing yourself forgiveness, and the thoughts of death; they are all things that I could relate to. They even included how you can still experience moments of true happiness even if you are depressed, but how it never really goes away. Sure, this anime might not be as light-hearted as others, but it’s the heart-rending instances in this show that give it so much impact and substance. 

(2) This anime does have some clichés (i.e. cultural festival, giving chocolates on Valentines Day, new kid at school sits next to the main character), but the plot completely colors these events in ways that make them so much more meaningful and different than you have ever seen them. One of my main concerns going into this show was that I would be bored, but I ended up watching it all in one sitting simply because of how much I needed to know what would happen. Additionally, the secondary characters are wonderfully fleshed out and are actually important to the plot, instead of feeling like accessories. 

(3) I know this anime was based off of a manga (which I had once picked up on a whim, but put down once I saw how sad it was probably going to be), but I have never heard people talk about it, like ever. Even when the show came out (which it did recently), there was no buzz about it. Although the lack of chatter surrounding Orange only made me more pessimistic regarding the quality of the show, if there is anything I have learned from watching hundreds of anime, it is that sometimes good shows can fly beneath the radar. I am glad I decided to pick it up after it’s completion and give it a chance, because I just found a series that has easily earned a spot on my top 10 list. 

(4) Is this anime sad? Yes. Is it too sad to watch? No. The biggest obstacle that stood in my way for this show was the fact that it pretty much promised from the get-go to be sad. “But love is supposed to be happy and have a happy ending,” you might say, “so how can that be possible when one of the protagonists is destined to commit suicide.” I don’t want to spoil it, so all I can tell you is that I was very pleased with the conclusion and it ends much differently than you are lead to believe it will. Trust me guys. My heart is made of glass. I would not recommend this show to anyone if I didn’t think the denouement was really good

So, in conclusion, set aside a few hours one day and let this series show you its magic! 

Dawn

Dawn is my little sister. When I was 11 and she was just a tiny baby, I hurt her really badly. I didn’t know what I did was going to cause so much trouble. I just wanted to do something nice. Something that would make us happy.

My parents made me go away for a long time. I didn’t understand why everyone was so angry. I missed my sister terribly. Even worse, I felt betrayed by the people I’d expected to understand me.

After six years of hospitalization, I got to see her again. My parents had passed away in a car accident while I was gone and I went to live with my aunt and uncle. Both were psychologists. Both understood the problem I apparently had. Still, they believed I’d learned to cope with it over the course of my rehabilitation. And they were right. I would never hurt anyone again. The mere thought of it was abhorrent.

Keep reading

why are people saying the balloon squad were laughing at even in the SMS roulette video?? like,,,where ? all i saw was yousef looking sad, mikael looking uncomfortable with a very ‘im gonna act like everything is fine’ smile and also mikael interrupted mutasim with the “it’s not important” also elias was like “no i dont want to do this anymore” bc the thought of even left them all sad and they weren’t in the mood for the video after that

Joker Imagine - Self harm

Anonymous said:

Hi! Can you write one where joker finds out the reader is selfharming? Like when he catches he doing it?

!!!! WARNING !!!! 

THIS MIGHT/CAN BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE: IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO TOPICS SUCH AS: self harm, depressing thoughts, blood, gore etc DO NOT READ THIS! I DON’T WANT YOU GUYS TO GET TRIGGERED. I CARE ABOUT YOU SO PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

Side note: I’m not trying to romanticise self harming in any way. It was requested and (warning, an opinion is coming!) I think that people should write anything really. I mean, for some murder can be an awful topic. If no one wrote about crime, there would be no detective stories, comics etc. Just saying! 


Originally posted by won-der-land89


Your P.O.V.

The pain was one feeling that made me feel alive. I didn’t feel completely empty, numb and dead inside when I made myself feel something. When the blood tickled down my skin or the electricity pinched me, I felt alive. Funny how a few weeks ago I was scared to do this, so terrified that my boyfriend the Joker would find it. I still was, but I reached a point where I couldn’t stop.

I cut myself, not so it was super obvious, but sometimes here and there. What I mostly did was something different. I used a few wires and a battery to give myself shocks. It hurt like fuck and rarely left marks. Of course my skin was bruising but J wouldn’t suspect a thing. It was better so. He wouldn’t understand anyway.

I was a disgrace, a stupid girl who couldn’t do anything right. I felt like J would kill me off sooner or later because no one would want someone like me around for too long. Right? Who the fuck would put up with me for longer than a couple months? I was surprised J hadn’t realized what kind of a fool I was by now.

It was Monday evening in Gotham city. J was out somewhere with his goons so I was all alone in the penthouse. The day had been okay so far, but then things turned upside down when I was alone. My thoughts were clogged with bad memories, all the negative things people had told me, my super awful years and simply depressing thoughts. Like Joker hated me, he only used me, the entire world hated me. Stuff like that.

A couple hours passed and then I found myself in our purple bedroom, sitting on the floor close to the bathroom just in case I had to hurry there. I stared at the electricity gadget in front of me. My vision was a little blurry because I had been crying earlier. Tonight seemed worse. I needed something worse than some shocks. ‘’Fuck it’’ I spat out and got up, walking hazily to the bathroom. I opened a white drawer and grabbed a razor. The small cold metal could do a lot of bad things.

I looked at my almost clean wrist. It was very tempting since I used to cut my legs. J would see if I had a lot of scars on my wrist. One couldn’t be too obvious. So I took a deep breath and placed the sharp metal on my wrist, pressing it gently to add pressure.Then I just stared at it with my heart beating harder than normally. I just had to drag it, down, then it would be done.

‘’Come on now’’ I growled at myself, getting angry because I couldn’t find the guts to do it. Then I leaned against the bathroom wall and I tried again. I just couldn’t. My gut twisted because I was a little pissed off with myself. ‘’Do it you sick idiot! It’s not like anyone cares’’ I spoke out loud once I saw my reflection in the mirror. I saw an ugly worthless girl. I gritted my teeth and then let the anger take the best of me. I made a deep cut and then I dropped the razor on the white tile floor. It took me a couple seconds to realize what I had done.

Blood started oozing out of the fresh cut and it hurt more than I expected. ‘’Oh no’’ I whispered and quickly pressed the wound with my clean hand. I made a huge mess! J would get so mad if he saw a ll this blood! ‘’Shit shit shit’’ I hissed under my breath and hurried to another drawer, pulling out a towel. Then I fell down on my knees and I tried to clean the blood. It just soaked the green towel and my bleeding wound kept making a mess. Before I could do anything else, I was stopped.

‘’What the hell is going on?’’ I heard a very familiar voice by the bathroom door. My entire body froze on the floor, every single muscle and cell just tensed up once Joker’s voice rang through my ears. How long had he been here?

‘’Accident..it was an accident’’ I lied with fear in my voice. Then I started getting lightheaded. I felt like I could just go to sleep for years. But I was also scared shitless now that J caught me. ‘’Don’t..lie’’ He tried to say as calmly as he could, but Joker wasn’t the best anger controller. I could tell that he was fucking disappointed in me. The way he spoke sent a shiver down my spine.

I fucked up.

‘’I’m not lying’’ I whispered with tears in my throat. Suddenly I felt like I could sit on the floor all night. I ignored eye contact and I focused on breathing. In and out.. in and out..

Joker growled something under his breath and I could tell that he struggled to keep as calm as he was. Then he kneeled down in front of me, roughly grabbing the towel and then my arm. I had to bite my lips so I wouldn’t start whimpering when he pressed the towel on my cut, pressing it so the bleeding would stop. He faced down so I couldn’t see if he was super angry or sad. It honestly scared me a little bit.

‘’I swear I-I’ll clean up’’ I broke the silence, because it was killing me. Suddenly J raised his head so he could face me. His red lips were pulled into a thin line and there was a dark, perhaps dull twist in his icy eyes. I tried my best to look into his eyes without crying, but it didn’t take long to fail. His silence was just awful because I knew what he was thinking, what he was doing. 

Tears blurred my vision and before I knew it they were rolling down my face. My body started trembling and then I sobbed quietly. Why wasn’t he speaking to me? ‘’Why?’’ I finally heard his voice. Now he sounded both angry and somber. I covered my  eyes with my other hand and I tried to wipe away my tears, but I couldn’t stop crying. It’s like all my feelings I had kept inside wanted to burst out. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to explain it to someone who could react in ways I couldn’t imagine. Even tho he was my boyfriend..

Joker did the unexpected. He scooted right next to me and pulled me closer to him by wrapping his strong arms around me. I leaned against his chest. Soon after he started comforting me the best he could, which was a lot coming from him. J ran his fingers up and down my back, slowly, but so I felt his presence. Then he let me cry. I felt like a kid, crying wildly before it could speak. That was exactly my situation.

‘’What made you do this?’’ He asked me with a raspy voice when I calmed down a little bit. I grabbed the towel hard and I tried to take a deep breath. I had nothing to lose anyway so I could tell him anything. ‘’My thoughts’’ I started with a small voice. I had to tell him, because knowing J he wouldn’t let me off the hook until I told him the truth and if there was a person behind something. Once a guy yelled at me in the club because I apparently bumped into him, ruining his outfit with a drink. J shot the guy in the head, just like that.

‘’My thoughts are so mean to me, it’s like I have a bully in my head’’ I tried to explain something. Then I sniffled and blinked a couple tears away. J played with my hair and let me continue. So I simply told him anything that came to my mind. I told him about my past, my bad childhood, stupid exes and how the voices in my head seemed to get louder and more cruel. Everything.

‘’I just feel so worthless, like you’ll dump me soon and then I’ll have nothing’’ I whispered, partly hoping that he couldn’t hear that part. Suddenly he stopped playing with my hair, making me nervous. I hadn’t looked up to him while talking so I didn’t know his mood. I turned a little so I could look at his face. He seemed surprisingly sad. His red lips were parted a little bit and his eyes were very tedious. First he looked into my eyes, then my tearstained cheeks and my wrist where his eyes stayed. 

A wave of guilt slapped my face. I made him look so sad. It’s all my fault..

‘’Why haven’t you told me anything before?’’ He wanted to know, this time being the one avoiding eye contact. My heart skipped a beat. I expected him to pull out his gun and put a bullet through me. ‘’Because I didn’t want to bother you J. I-I didn’t want to seem weak’’ I explained myself carefully. J shut his mouth and looked at me again. Then he put his big hand on my cheek, gently. ‘’You’re not weak baby. Damn..’’ He growled and tilted his head from side to side. He was probably debating inside his head whether he should sound harsh or try to stay calm.

‘’You took down a group of armed men by yourself, you managed to get a cold man like me to feel things. Remember when we met?’’ He questioned me with a deep and raspy voice. I nodded, wondering why he brought that up. ‘’You weren’t scared. While everyone else were down on the floor, scared for their lives, you stood out. You walked up to me and I could have shot you, but no. You were so brave. So you’re not weak. If you were weak, you’d be dead by now’’ He told me very honestly without sugarcoats.

‘’But you must promise me something, and I’m not letting you break that promise’’ He warned me seriously. I knew what he would say, but I still waited. ‘’Don’t ever, I mean never ever do this to yourself again’’ He tried to make a deal. The tone in his voice was harsh and I knew why. He wasn’t playing around. ‘’I promise’’ I sighed and faced down, feeling ashamed. I couldn’t do anything right.

J touched my jaw and made me look at him. ‘’I trust you kitten, I really hope you can keep it. The next time you feel this way, speak to me. We can either talk and be like normal people, or go and find a toy to torture. You don’t have to hurt yourself when there’s plenty of people around’’ He suggested  seriously with a small smile. The suggestion sure sounded more thrilling.

‘’I’m sorry J’’ I apologized and sighed. I knew I’d have a scar on my wrist to remind me of this whenever I saw it. ‘’Mmh’’ J breathed out and shut his eyes.I didn’t even want to picture what it would be like to find him in my shoes and me in his. If I ever saw J so broken, I’d break too. Did he feel the same way about me? Or was I in deeper than he was? I had no idea and I didn’t want to find out.

‘’Let’s clean you up’’ He declared after a while. Then he got up and helped me on my feet as well. After sitting down and bleeding for a while, standing made me lightheaded. J put his hands on my shoulders so I could let my blood flow and clear my head. ‘’Thanks’’ I murmured silently. Damn this crying made my head hurt.

‘’And just so you know, after a bath and sleep we’re going to find your old bullies and torture them’’ J let me know and then he started filling the tub. I looked at him, first without an expression but then the corners of my mouth carved into a wicked smile. He truly cared about me. ‘’I can’t wait’’ I replied and then the flame of revenge burnt down my misery, at least for the moment.

I’d make them suffer for ruining me..

On Reading Sherlock’s Face

I’m not a fan of metas based on reading faces. I’ve seen other people do it well, but I’ve never liked actually basing conclusions off expressions alone. Everything exists in context, but especially facial expressions. They’re also the easiest thing to project onto– you can read a lot of things into a facial expression, and I’m very wary of that sort of thing in analysis. I am particularly wary when shippers do it and/or there’s an agenda involved (and usually there is an agenda involved, in fandom). My point: I don’t really do facial analysis if I can help it, and certainly not alone. But there’s definitely a point in TFP where the show kinda begs you to look at Sherlock’s face, and I can’t deny it’s interesting.

In a general sense, I’m also kinda going through the things that seem off or are interesting in Series 4 (in no particular order), and of course, I haven’t addressed this yet:

I remember being struck by this when I saw it in the trailer, and analyzing it a bit. It was obvious to me it wasn’t to John, because John is behind Sherlock. In thinking about it before I knew the context, I thought it was weird, because Sherlock looked so unhappy. His whole expression is… tense, disturbed at something. It’s not the kind of face (or set-up) one associates with an ‘I love you’, so I thought something rather dark must be going on.

Now, I agree with the analysis that this isn’t Sherlock’s ‘lying face’, or the over-the-top acting Sherlock was doing with Janine in HLV. This is definitely different. But the only two options aren’t ‘he’s lying’ vs ‘he’s just realized he means it’. The difference between TFP and HLV is context: in HLV, Sherlock went on to dismiss John’s horror at his callousness, and say love was ‘human error’. In TFP, Sherlock no longer thinks so. That is the point.

A lot of people (no matter what they ship) don’t understand this scene– they either seem to think it’s gratuitous emotional torture, bad Molly characterization (because she’s apparently not gotten over her feelings, though as I’ve said, there’s no reason to think she had), or– I suppose– there to show us that Sherlock just loves Molly back, all appearances to the contrary. Of course, many fans essentially believe there doesn’t really need to be a reason for that last option, particularly seeing as it’s about a heterosexual couple, so I’ll just say that no, there actually does need to be a reason, not to mention build-up. Besides, if Sherlock simply… meant it, that would kill the drama (and the intended darkness) of the scene. In general, no matter what Sherlock’s face says, the narrative has to support it or it makes no sense and constitutes bad writing. But for what it’s worth, his face doesn’t really say ‘I love you’. He looks sad and disturbed, but I do believe he also looks like he’s realizing something on some level. It’s a form of his serious deduction face, except we don’t get as much of an inward look as we did the last time this happened, during the wedding speech in TSoT (as I once wrote extensively about).

So what is Sherlock realizing, in context?

That question is closely tied to asking why that scene is there. I mean, I’ve seen plenty of Johnlock shippers sort of riff on the fact that the deduction of the person meant for the casket could have been about John– he too is short and practical, and he loves Sherlock! But I think bringing John into it is a derailment. It’s not about John, but it’s not about Molly, either, not directly. Like I said in my John analysis in TLD, it’s not about John ‘cause it’s about Sherlock. Obviously, this applies to this scene: we’re focused on Sherlock’s face here, full screen. That certainly suggests that we’re meant to be focusing on him (and his arc).

And yes, that’s what I think it’s about. I realize most people who’re not Johnlockers seem not to care that there’s an arc, but even though we’ve been wrong about various things, the one thing I’ve been right about is the importance of Sherlock’s arc. Moffat has explicitly referred to it and its relevance to TFP, too. This is Sherlock’s test, his final test (as administered by Eurus, the embodiment of the ‘high-functioning sociopath’ persona). The Final Problem is becoming human.

So what does that have to do with Molly? He’s already told Eurus that he realizes his life is not his own: “Your own death is something that happens to everybody else.” So he’s learned the lesson of Reichenbach. The ‘human error’ thing is about people like Janine and Molly though, in the show. He doesn’t really have a problem accepting his feelings about John (however you want to read them); as soon as he realized them, around TEH and TSoT, he accepted them. John is always the exception. It’s everyone else’s feelings– and feeling in general– that Sherlock hasn’t taken seriously or accepted as valid, as important, as worth empathizing with. So this is the final step: he’d already felt bad for Molly in TEH, but he didn’t take her feelings fully seriously, because then there was Janine. Love was still ‘human error’… but then Sherlock kept making that error. You don’t have to read this romantically, though it’s certainly not been about Molly. He’s made the error about John, about Mary, and even about Eurus (in TLD). That’s what he was telling Mrs Hudson with ‘Norbury’. He knows that ‘human error’ is something he has to take into account. Heartbreak is something Sherlock is now very familiar with. He has to feel it, but he doesn’t have to fear it (as Moriarty said).

Sherlock fake-smiled when he proposed to Janine because he was dissociating, essentially. Here, he wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean he was confessing his love. It means he was fully feeling the awfulness  of what he was doing to Molly, and that he was aware he was using  his real feelings– because he really does care about her as a friend– to hurt her, essentially. This is the realization he started to have at the end of TAB, about how many women he’d hurt. This is the consequence: it hurts. It burns. It aches, being human. But it allows him to reach his sister, in the end, so the point is not about avoiding the pain but embracing it.

Camping ft pocket!jungkook

Originally posted by theseoks

Genre: fluff, pocket!jungkook

Words: 920

This of course took way too long to do, I’m sorry, Btw, should I write a part two??

Keep reading