i-literally-just-started-tearing-up-because-of-how-perfect-her-character-is

Thoughts on Chapter 862

Pudding being redeemed was always a possibility, but Oda has chosen to do it by using one of the most inconsistent (and somewhat cliché) ways. Inconsistent because of the story context and cliché because it is overdone throughout media and even in One Piece. When discussing the possibility of Pudding being good again, I once said that Oda should be careful to not lose the grip of the story due to inonsistencies.

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anonymous asked:

top 5 (or 10) scenes in the 100 in terms of acting? (like, which scenes stood out to you, or which scenes do you think highlighted any of the actors' ability?)

This is such a good question! It’s hard to narrow them down to ten because there’s so many I love, but here are the ones that came to my mind first! So in no particular order:

1. Raven realising her pain is gone [3x05]

One of my all-time favourites! Moments after Raven succumbs to the temptation and takes the key to the City of Light, we get this spine-chilling shot where her revelation, her absence of pain starts at her leg and creeps up to the rest of her body. The entire scene, beginning with her taking the chip to here is absolutely stunning. Lindsey so beautifully straightens herself and looks up, and that’s when we know that Raven knows that it’s worked. It was executed so perfectly, kudos to the wonderful Lindsey Morgan!

2. Clarke scrubs at the blood on her hands [2x09]

Eliza’s performance in this scene really reminded me of Lady Macbeth from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, as she tried to scrub away the blood she was hallucinating (’Out, damned spot! out, I say!’). Taking place immediately after Clarke had mercy-killed Finn, Eliza perfectly displayed the hysteria of this moment as she shakes and raves incoherently. Her sharp breaths really encapsulate the trauma Clarke has just experienced too. It’s just beautiful.

3. Bellamy is overwhelmed by a sense of failure [4x07]

It’s really difficult to choose a scene with Bob Morley because each scene he acts in really does display how talented he is. Of course, the 4x04 scene where Bellamy realises Octavia is dead is breathtaking and still haunts me, but that’s a given, so I’m choosing another scene. This moment from 4x07 made me cry…a lot. As Bellamy had to sit and listen to people he could have saved die because he failed them, watch his gaze. He is not mentally there. His gaze is so very distant, it’s made to feel like he’s seeing all his failures play out before his very eyes. He breaks then and there as he’s forced to listen to the vocalisation of his failure, the nasty feeling settling deep within. Bob was fantastic through 4x07, but this scene really got to me.

4. Raven blows up the bridge [1x10]

I remember the first time I watched I Am Become Death, I fell in love with this particular moment in the episode. Raven staggers to the end of the bridge and, with the little energy she has left, successfully sets up and sets off the bomb. It was so wonderfully done by Lindsey, everything from the way she moved to the breaths she took was oh so perfect.

5. Clarke tells Bellamy that the world is ending [3x16]

This is one of my favourite Bellamy and Clarke moments – look how intense Bob and Eliza’s gazes are! They really do perfectly display just how exhausted Bellamy and Clarke are, and in finding out they can’t kick back just yet, we can see them search each other’s eyes for strength and hope.

6. Monty kills his mother [3x11]

Monty killing his mother was one of the most intense scenes I’ve ever seen on this show. Chris did such an amazing job with this…the screams Monty let out? They’re a vocalisation of just how traumatising this is for Monty, how he has to make noise, make chaos in order to pull back the trigger. And it was all so perfect. My heart broke when watching this scene, and even more so afterwards when Monty realised his mother’s death was sort of in vain because he might have been able to save her.

7. Pike and Bellamy talk about Mount Weather [3x04]

This scene between Michael and Bob is of the most fascinating from season 3. I was rewatching it and decided that I really did enjoy Pike’s character. The reason why this scene is in here is that we see, so perfectly from Michael, Pike locating Bellamy’s low point, and catches him when he’s weakest. @cosmicbell often labels Pike as a demagogue when we discuss this season together, and I agree. He promised action, he criticised stagnancy and Bellamy, somebody who’s been extremely affected by the grounders’ actions, was just tired of waiting around and never retaliating. He bought into Pike’s argument, and this is the scene that it occurs in. You see it in his face as Pike challenges him: ‘I’m willing to suffer the consequences to save my people…are you?’ and we know that Bellamy has begun to cross over to the dark side.

8. Jasper scatters Finn’s ashes [3x04]

I highly recommend everybody to rewatch this spectacular scene with Devon and Chris, from start to finish. It’s one of my favourites from the whole show. These two best friends have lost each other, and they’re trying to find that old spark once more. They fight, they argue, they yell. They’re no longer the pair they used to be. And as Monty leaves, Jasper screams ‘See you on the other side!’ and trips over, spilling the jar of ashes. The remnants blow away with the breeze, mingle with the Earth and Jasper realises what’s just happened…and Devon’s performance in that moment is so incredibly breathtaking. One of his best, for sure. 

9. Murphy makes Clarke cry [4x08]

This is fairly recent, of course, but Richard and Eliza were amazing throughout this entire scene. Murphy’s desperation is so well voiced by Richard: when he screamed ‘I love her!’ my heart broke completely. And as Murphy starts provoking Clarke, I began to wonder how Eliza would portray Clarke’s reaction. Clarke, who has, in the past, tried to develop a harder exterior around her friends when making tough decisions…she did something I did not expect. She lifted her head slightly, and through her lashes looks at Murphy, and her eyes are glistening with tears! She’s been trying this whole scene to be assertive in her decision to use Emori but Murphy’s speech almost takes her to her breaking point. I was really impressed with both Richard and Eliza here, they were just amazing!

10. Niylah tells Bellamy that he’ll always be sorry [3x11]

Bob Morley, once again and as always, comes through perfectly in this scene he shortly shares with Jessica Harmon. ALIE got to Bellamy, and bad. ‘Too bad you were never that devoted to Gina.’? Do you know what Bellamy heard, instead of that? Probably something like ‘you could have saved her, but you spent that concern on Clarke, who didn’t even end up coming back to Arkadia with you. You killed Gina. You misplaced your responsibilities, so it’s your fault.’ And the final straw: the mention of what he did to the Trikru army, and Niylah hitting him after finding out. Bellamy flips out and has to leave the room, kicking a barrel, punching something. He looks up to the sky, so incredibly hopeless, and shakes his head. He’s realising he’s never going to get over this pain, he’s never going to stop feeling guilty, and worst of all, the pain he’s caused to others is so deep and so sharp and he can’t handle knowing that. He hears Niylah’s voice behind him, and the sight of her brings all these emotions back. He tells her what he truly feels, that he only had good intentions and he’s sorry, but she delivers a harsh sentence: ‘People like you always are’. This small moment between these two was jaw-dropping to me. I loved it so much.

Honourable mentions: Lincoln’s season 2 ordeal with the reaper drugs, literally all of Erica Cerra’s (ALIE/Becca) scenes, the Lexa and Roan fight from 3x04, Clarke getting in the rover with Jasper and discovering Abby is chipped, Luna mourning Derrick in her arms, Octavia surviving the fall in 4x04 and Abby smashing the radiation chamber in 4x08.

Rebirth of the “Son”: the art of Kylo Ren’s redemption

Many would say that The Force Awakens has a rather ambiguous conclusion, leaving the future of its main characters and storyline very open for debate. However, by analyzing the text — or in this case, the film — we can discover potentially eye-opening clues about the future of the Trilogy, particularly in regards to one plot-point: Kylo Ren’s redemption arc.

This meta will focus on deconstructing The Force Awakens by analyzing characterization (behaviour and dialogue) and foreshadowing and symbolism found in The Force Awakens. It will not discuss how he will be redeemed in detail, just the myriad of suggestions that we were left with.


Part 1: Characterization

This first part will deal mainly with deconstructing Kylo Ren’s characterization in the simplest possible manner. I will be analyzing his behaviour and dialogue in the context of the entire movie. Why? Because we must acknowledge every scene and every action in order to give reason to even one.

But first, let’s get a starting definition. Most people would know what “characterization” is, even if they don’t know it by name. The basic deconstruction of characterization is taught in high schools around the world. I’m sure we can all remember reading Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet or Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men as a class and discussing the characters in an academic setting.

A quick refresher:

Characterization is the concept of creating characters for a narrative. […] Characters are presented by means of description, through their actions, speech, thoughts and interactions with other characters.

Characterization is broken down two separate sections: direct characterization and indirect characterization.

Direct characterization involves the author telling us what a character is like. This is generally done through descriptions, or by the characters themselves. Imagine a character saying or thinking that they “like the beach”. This would be an example of direct characterization.

Indirect characterization must be inferred by the audience by interpreting a character’s dialogue, mannerisms, thoughts, actions and interactions with other characters. Imagine a character walking barefoot along a beach, staring wistfully at the water. We can easily infer that this character “likes the beach” without having the character actually make any kind of statement.

This first section of the meta will deconstruct Kylo Ren’s direct and indirect characterization.


1.1: THE “LAST” SKYWALKER

We must first start by summarizing Kylo Ren’s background.

“Apparently the awakening was not just for Rey, but Kylo as well. Adam Driver spoke about Kylo and his motivations. Driver said that the character was mainly motivated by the feelings of abandonment from his family.”

“Abrams also added some backstory saying that Han couldn’t stay in one place and that Leia couldn’t stop fighting. His nature as a rogue and her nature as a freedom fighter clashed. Against that backdrop, Snoke targeted Kylo because of his powers and potential. The implication was that in the absence of solid parenting, Kylo Ren emerged.”

— “Secrets of the Force Awakens” Documentary

As we all know, Kylo Ren—once Ben Solo—is the fallen son of Han Solo and Leia Organa. He was seduced to the Dark Side by Supreme Leader Snoke after he was sent to train with his uncle Luke Skywalker. Snoke viewed the young Ben Solo as the perfect focal point of the Light and Dark Sides of the Force. He was being twisted and manipulated from the shadows since childhood, but it appears as though he managed to stave off complete seduction until he was a young adult, at which point something happened. He gave in to Snoke, turned to the Dark Side and left his family in ruins.

However, he was never able to completely extinguish the Light from which he was born.

It would not be unfair to suggest that Kylo Ren is currently the most important character in the Star Wars universe. He has a direct blood relation to almost every previous main character, his betrayal tore apart the Original Trilogy heroes, and he connects every player in the Sequel Trilogy together: the fallen son to Han and Leia, the ex-apprentice and nephew to Luke, the pawn to Snoke, the Knight of Ren, the anti-villain to Rey’s hero, the man who killed Han and left Finn in a coma, and whom Rey scarred with his grandfather’s saber when she almost crossed the threshold to the Dark Side. Rey went from defeating Ren with his legacy saber to hugging Ren’s mother to boarding Ren’s legacy ship to finding Ren’s uncle, who exiled himself because of Ren. It all comes back to one character: Ben Solo.

You must remember who Kylo Ren is and what franchise we’re dealing with in order to even hope to make accurate predictions. Star Wars is first and foremost an optimistic, idealistic coming-of-age fantasy directed toward children. It presents core messages of family, love, friendship, redemption and hope.


1.2 COSTUME AND MANNERISMS

Kylo Ren’s garbs in The Force Awakens serve the purpose of imparting vital indirect characterization. He is swamped in black clothing that covers even his face, hands and neck, leaving not even an inch of skin showing. This immediately conveys to the audience that he has something to “hide”, despite the fact that we eventually discover that he is an average human man. He could even be described as shameful, unprepared to place himself in a position of vulnerability, quite literally playing dress-up in his grandfather’s attire.

Kylo’s garments also plainly echo the real-life historic Knights Templar, which certainly begs a few questions about Ren’s upbringing with and indoctrination by Snoke. Alas, this is not the meta for that discussion, but I will leave you with this quote referring to the vows knights had to make in order to be accepted into the order, two of which I find particularly telling with regards to my own personal interpretation of the character.

“Full members of the order took the standard monastic vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.”

Like his fellow character trinity members Rey and Finn, Kylo portrays many qualities that can be attributed to children, particularly young children. He is incapable of controlling his emotions, presenting a seemingly collected demeanor only in the film’s introductory sequence. He doesn’t seem to have a firm grasp on complex human emotion, perhaps because he was never given a proper outlet to explore his more innate feelings, or because Snoke simply did not allow it. He has violent tantrums, his fists are always balled and his eyes always seem to shimmer with tears. He trusts inanimate objects more than real people, he has an obsession with relics, he watches Rey sleep, crouched on the ground, head tilted. There is an air of submission in him, as out-of-place as it may appear.

This is one of the major reasons Kylo often comes across as “weak”. He is an evocative male character, brimming with emotion that seems completely unable to tame. He is not really a man, a child or a monster, he is all three.


1.3: JAKKU VILLAGE

In the film’s opening scene, we are introduced to Poe Dameron and Lor San Tekka. Poe is a Resistance pilot who is retrieving a piece of a map rumored to lead to the missing Luke Skywalker. The mission, however, does not go as planned. Poe is captured by the First Order and Lor San Tekka is murdered by Kylo Ren.

LOR SAN TEKKA
The First Order rose from the dark side… you did not.

KYLO REN
I’ll show you the dark side.

LOR SAN TEKKA
You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your family.

Suddenly Kylo Ren raises his LIGHTSABER – IGNITES IT – PERPENDICULAR SMALLER BLADES AT THE HILT, A UNIQUE BUZZ – YELLOW/RED ENERGY, SPITTING SPARKS AND SMOKE –

KYLO REN
You’re so right.

And as he RIPS IT DOWN ACROSS SAN TEKKA!

Above we have the sequence from the final script. Kylo Ren’s response appears to be quite collected, but… why did he kill Tekka? Surely Tekka had seen the map? His mind was ripe for reading; he even could have been a valuable war-prisoner. Kylo Ren had yet to be made aware of Poe’s existence, let alone the fact that BB-8 had been given charge of the drive containing the map. Yet he killed him. Why?

Because this was a man from his past who reprimanded him about his origins, his family. There is even a small smirk visible on Tekka’s face as he converses with Ren, as he chastises him for “denying the truth that is his family.”

These are things we later come to realize bring Ren to a conflicted place, heightening the pull to the Light within him. Although his response to Tekka was swift and cold, the rage behind the action was not fueled by indifference. Hate and love are not opposites, they are two sides of the same coin, and it’s quite clear that Ren is far from indifferent when it comes to his family. This was a personal murder, not a war crime.

The movie illustrates that Kylo Ren only kills when the situation becomes genuinely personal. He leaves Poe alive after interrogating him despite having already retrieved the necessary information. He lets Lieutenant Mitaka live as well, and on Takodana he immediately goes for Rey and BB-8 without engaging in battle with anybody. This is vital indirect characterization. We are meant to infer that, while Kylo has likely killed many innocent people, we as an audience don’t see him kill impersonally. Anything beyond that is speculation.

The first sequence of the film creates an image for the audience. It would be called a character defining moment, and it’s used to great effect. Kylo seems similar to Darth Vader, perhaps with an added youthful edge. This image is quickly torn down as we witness Kylo unraveling. He goes from murdering potentially important war criminals to desperately following his “personal interests” to praying to an inanimate object. Kylo unravels like a ball of string, shedding physical and metaphorical layers until he is left a beaten, scarred, patricidal wreck at the film’s conclusion.


1.4: COMPASSION

Immediately after murdering Tekka, Poe makes himself known when he tries to shoot Kylo Ren. Kylo stops the blaster-bolt and the two men share a brief interaction that ends with Kylo ordering the Storm Troopers to take Poe on-board. Kylo gives the Troopers permission to annihilate the village — probably one of his darkest and most unforgivable acts. While Tekka’s murder was personal and driven by secret longing, this was something very different.

Yet this scene is followed by Kylo Ren’s first clearly bizarre decision.

Kylo Ren heads back toward his ship. But then he STOPS. Feels something. TURNS AND LOOKS AT OUR STORMTROOPER for a LONG MOMENT. Our Trooper can barely meet his gaze; knows he’s doomed.

Kylo Ren then heads off – passes the FROZEN BLAST, which, after a beat, GOES FREE AND SLAMS INTO A NEARBY STRUCTURE, scaring the hell out of our Stormtrooper.

As Kylo is preparing to depart on his ship, he seems to sense something. A Trooper is disobeying him, refusing to shoot down the villagers. Ren locks gazes with him, seeming prepared to kill him… but then he walks away.

This single moment serves as the inception of the entire adventure. The Trooper breaks Poe free, and together they crash on the desert planet Jakku, where BB-8 has already encountered a mysterious scavenger named Rey.

Ren should have destroyed the Trooper, but he didn’t. Perhaps it could be argued that he just didn’t care about an underling’s actions, but it doesn’t take long for us to learn this:

Kylo researched the Trooper’s title. He knew the Trooper was showing strange “signs”, he knew the Trooper by name, yet he kept the information to himself. Why? Why did Kylo Ren let the Trooper go?

Because he felt compassion for him.

This might seem like a leap to some, but it’s the only thing that makes sense to me, given Kylo’s apparent inner-turmoil about the situation. Kylo also felt something for Rey—as will be discussed below. We know he dislikes the Trooper program (he thinks as much in the novelization, and he subtly tries ot tell Hux that they should be using Clones in the film). We know he hates Hux as well. It only makes sense to take into consideration that Kylo may have consciously allowed FN-2187 to go free simply because he saw himself in the rogue Trooper.

The young women and men who become Storm Troopers in the Sequel Trilogy are stolen from their families as children and brainwashed into serving as killing machines. The process should be ringing a bell in your mind, because it’s remarkably similar to what happened to Kylo Ren.

With this in mind, it should be easy to infer that Kylo may have felt compassion for Finn, and walked away as a result. The single moment haunts Kylo, and we can imagine that he may have battled with himself mentally about whether or not to inform Hux or Phasma about their rogue Trooper. Obviously a side of Ren he would rather deny emerged victorious, because Finn managed to escape, and Ren doesn’t forget it.

The next time Kylo mentions Finn, he uses the term “traitor”. He does this one more time before the end of the film, after he has murdered his father. He screams the word at Finn, who is cradling an unconscious Rey. This is an incredible example of indirect characterization mixed with direct characterization. Kylo Ren isn’t just labeling Finn an “traitor”, he’s using the term to describe himself, hating himself for going through with the ultimate act of betrayal. He punishes Finn in the forest of Starkiller Base, using him as an outlet for his frustration and masochism. He beats his own wounds physically and metaphorically.

“You have compassion for her.” (The Force Awakens novelization)

— Snoke

It is made far more obvious in the film that Kylo Ren feels some kind of attachment to the heroine, Rey. I have discussed this at great length in a separate analysis, but I’ll allude to it here simply for brevity’s sake.

Kylo Ren sees himself in Rey, just as he saw himself in Finn. When he reads her mind, he finds that he relates to her loneliness, her fear and her desperation. Ren’s sentiments of compassion lead him to place himself in a position of vulnerability two times while in Rey’s presence, and both instances are considered iconic in The Force Awakens.

First, he removes his helmet for her in the interrogation sequence. Second, he offers to “show her the ways of the Force” in their final battle. This reminds Rey that she too is capable of channeling the Force, allowing her to defeat him. These are two of Ren’s biggest mistakes, and the implication is they were born out of compassion.


1.5: PERSONAL INTERESTS

GENERAL HUX
Careful, Ren. That your “personal interests” not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke.

While it is difficult to say what Kylo’s motivations are right now, it’s quite clear that he isn’t Snoke’s loyal puppet. He goes against his orders multiple times. In fact, I would have trouble thinking of a single moment in which Ren does follow Snoke’s plans without fail. He seems to react upon instinct more than anything, doing whatever he sees fit, but there is an underlying idea—as presented by Hux in the above excerpt—that Kylo has “personal interests” in finding Luke that go completely against Snoke and the First Order. This line basically foreshadows Ren’s entire developmental (or unraveling) arc in The Force Awakens. 

GENERAL HUX
Supreme Leader Snoke was explicit. Capture the droid if we can, but destroy it if we must.

Obviously Snoke isn’t particularly invested in finding Luke (he just doesn’t wnt the Resistance to find Luke), but Kylo certainly is. There is no way to know just what he wants from him. We’ll have to wait until Episode VIII for that information.

KYLO REN
Forgive me. I feel it again. The pull to the light. Supreme Leader senses it. Show me again, the power of the darkness, and I will let nothing stand in our way. Show me, Grandfather, and I will finish what you started.

This is perhaps Ren’s most obvious “personal interest”. The sequence poses so many questions that have been deconstructed in separate analyses that I won’t waste too much time on it, but the implication here is that Kylo shares certain sentiments with this mask alone. It is his guardian, his relic. It is the only thing in the world he genuinely trusts, and he feels a connection to it, and a shame for not living up to its “expectations”.

Then there is one of the big questions to come out of this film: what did Darth Vader start? I have my own theories that don’t necessarily belong in this meta, but I’ll leave it at this: writers don’t emphasize an ambiguous theme in a villainous character only to reveal an equally villainous motivation. Chances are whatever “Vader started” will lead into the inevitability of Kylo’s redemption.

KYLO REN
What girl?

KYLO REN
The girl I’ve heard so much about

GENERAL HUX
Ren believed it was no longer valuable to us. That the girl was all we needed. As a result, the droid has most likely been returned to the hands of the enemy. They may have the map already.

Throughout the Third Act of the film, Kylo Ren finds a brand new “personal interest” in Rey. Ren appears to become attracted to and infatuated with Rey as he is in some way seduced by the Light she embodies. You don’t need to look far to see that he treats her differently than he treats any other character.

When he sets foot on Takodana and hears that the girl and droid have fled into the woods, he immediately follows them. When he finds Rey he decides to take her second-hand version of the map and not bother looking for the droid itself, allowing it to fall into the hands of the Resistance. In the interrogation, he removes his mask when she expresses fear, gets way too close to her and fishes through her personal thoughts before even attempting to search for the map. In their final battle, he offers himself to her as a teacher. This characterization is some of Ren’s most unexplainable… and it only makes sense if you accept that he also appears to be attracted to her in some fashion.

“The Supreme Leader believes Ren to be the ideal embodiment of the Force, a focal point of both Light and Dark Side ability.”

— The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary

It is interesting to note that Snoke actually encourages Ren to maintain control over both the Light and Dark sides of the Force that naturally coexist within him, but Ren is completely dismissive of this notion. When he feels a pull to the Light, he expresses to Darth Vader’s helmet that it must “show him the power of the Darkness”. He also insinuates that the battling Forces he commands “tear him apart”, and actually cause him pain of some kind. He wants nothing to do with accepting the Light, which appears to manifest as unwanted link to the life he left behind.

Once more, we can see that Ren is going against Snoke’s desires.

What exactly are all these “personal interests” used to push in the context of the narrative? To create a clear distinction between Kylo Ren and the First Order, to separate him a little from the evilest aspects of the Order. He is his own character, not an extension of Snoke. He places his “personal interests” above Snoke and the First Order on every occasion. That demands a certain level of attention in itself.


1.6: SIBLING RIVALRY

The Force Awakens introduces us to General Hux, an important official in the First Order. Ren and Hux share a bitter relationship that seems to echo a sibling-rivalry, with Hux seeming to constantly interfere with Ren’s more paternal connection to Supreme Leader Snoke.

Hux and Ren are given multiple scenes together, and it becomes quite clear that the character exists as a direct contrast to Ren. We are meant to compare their reactions as they are faced with similar orders.

KYLO REN
How capable are your soldiers, General?

GENERAL HUX
I won’t have you question my methods.

KYLO REN
They’re obviously skilled at committing high treason. Perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a clone army.

In the above sequence, the film spells out that Ren has nothing to do with the First Order’s indoctrination of child-soldiers. Ren is specifically Snoke’s foot-soldier and a Knight of Ren, not Hux’s partner (as has been discussed, Ren hates the Trooper program). Ren and Hux barely tolerate each other. When you consider the fact that Hux is a twisted, genocidal, power-hungry, sadistic maniac absorbed with self-importance and lacking even a single redeeming quality, it should be obvious that Hux serves the purpose of humanizing Ren, of making him look “better” by comparison.

Hux watches, his eyes WILD WITH POWER AND EVIL.

TIGHT ON KYLO REN as he watches the Starkiller firing.

Hux’s Nazi speech is also entirely his own. Ren isn’t even present on Starkiller Base when the weapon is fired at the Hosnian System. He is watching it from afar, fists clenched. We are given a description of Hux’s eyes, but we cannot know what Ren’s might look like at this exact same moment. He is leaning over the window, watching the weapon fire. It is meant to make us question what Ren really thinks of all this.  

Hux repeatedly rebukes Ren for going against Snoke. He seems to have an innate desire to embarrass Ren in front of his Master. Hux is also fully aware of Ren’s wavering conviction, which makes him all the more dangerous as an antagonist.

SNOKE
Good. Then we will crush them once and for all. Prepare the weapon.

Kylo Ren is stunned by the moment – that isn’t what he meant at all

KYLO REN
Supreme Leader. I can get the map from the girl. I just need your guidance.

Above we have perhaps the most telling comparison. Hux and Snoke decide to destroy the Illeenium System—where Leia Organa, Kylo Ren’s mother, happens to be. Ren is completely against the order, and even tries to offer up another solution, but he is shot down as Hux walks away, giving him a snide glower.


1.7: LIES AND TRUTHS

Despite being the main antagonist of The Force Awakens, Kylo Ren is a surprisingly truthful character. He only lies once in the entire film, and it is clear at this exact moment that Ren is an absolutely abysmal liar. He and Snoke are discussing the droid, which has fallen into the hands of Ren’s father through a series of odd coincidences. Ren reacts to the news in the following manner:

Kylo Ren reacts with subtle, but real, surprise.

KYLO REN
He means nothing to me.

This scene is closely followed by the famous “pull to the Light” sequence in which Ren reveals that Snoke was fully capable of sensing his deceit. Han Solo does not mean nothing to Kylo Ren.

KYLO REN
You’re my guest.

REY
Where are the others?

KYLO REN
You mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends? You’ll be relieved to hear that I have no idea.

Kylo Ren stops, considers her… then reaches up, unlatches and REMOVES HIS MASK. Rey reacts, stunned. It takes a moment before she regains her own mask of defiance.

When Rey wakes up in the interrogation scene, Kylo doesn’t bother lying to her even once. He could have told Rey her friends were dead, but instead he expresses the truth: he has no idea where they are. He also removes his mask when she reveals her (understandable) mistrust. He is very honest with her.

KYLO REN
… You’re so lonely… so afraid to leave… At night, desperate to sleep… you imagine an ocean. I see it – I see the island… And Han Solo. You feel like he’s the father you never had. He would’ve disappointed you.

He’s also open about what he sees in her head, even going so far as to “warn” her that Han Solo would have disappointed her if he really was her father.

KYLO REN
I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?

Perhaps the most controversial example can be found in Kylo Ren’s conversation with Han Solo on the catwalk. As an audience, we should have been able to infer that Kylo Ren never bothers to lie, opting instead for the truth.

This indirect characterization gives us all we need to know to understand that Kylo is in no way attempting to manipulate his father. He goes through with Snoke’s orders for a “personal” reason, in order to be “free of [his] pain.” He truly could not have kill his father on his own, and genuinely expresses to Han that he needs his help. The scene is heartbreaking on many levels, particularly when you realize that Han resting his hand on his son’s cheek is likely the first true human contact Ren has felt in years.


1.8: THE FATHER AND THE SON

Adam Driver said it himself, Kylo Ren is mainly motivated by what he considers to be feelings of abandonment from his family. His sentiments about his family are complex to say the least, with Ren mentioning them several times throughout the film. As always, Ren reveals far more of himself than he intends to.

“He means nothing to me.”

As we have already discussed, this was proven to be an outright (and pathetic) attempt at a lie.

“Han Solo. […] He would have disappointed you.”

Han Solo disappointed Ren.

“Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him.”

Ren considered his father to be weak and foolish for “something”. Is this the same “something” that caused him to harbour so much disappointment in his family? We can only speculate right now, so I’ll leave it at that.

We must also notice that Ren only starts to cry when Han expresses that “we [Han and Leia] miss him”. Ren’s feelings about his mother are perhaps even more difficult to comprehend than those about his father.

Always remember that Han Solo died as any father should, loving his son, forgiving him, and hping that he can someday find his way home.

An extra layer of intricacy can be found between Snoke and Ren. There is clearly a dependence of some kind between them, perhaps because Snoke was there for Ren when Han and Leia weren’t, using his loneliness to manipulate him. The notion is quite tragic, but we simply don’t know enough about the topic yet.


Part 2: Symbolism, Metaphor and Foreshadowing

Now that we have a clear understanding of the most important facets of Kylo Ren’s characterization, this second part of the meta will focus on the artistic devices in The Force Awakens, particularly the use of symbolism, metaphor and foreshadowing that directly pertain to Kylo’s redemption arc.

Once more, a quick refresher on some important terms.

Symbolism is the practice of using an object or word to represent an abstract idea. An action, person, place, word of object can all have symbolic meaning.

Foreshadowing is a literary technique through which an author hints at what is to come.

A metaphor is a figure of speech that identifies something as being the same as some unrelated thing for rhetorical effect that, usually, provides clarity; thus, the implied conceptual relationship rhetorically highlights the similarities between two ideas.


2.1: THE HELMET AND THE SABER

It was revealed in an interview with Adam Driver that Kylo Ren’s lightsaber and helmet are meant to be a metaphor for his character, that he is “unfinished” and “unpolished” and appears as though he might crack at any moment. It can thus be assumed that, in order to develop, Kylo will eventually have to become “finished”, “polished” and “in control”.

Interestingly, some people use this as evidence supporting the notion that Kylo will never be redeemed, that he will become eviler and eviler until he kills Luke and Leia. Hilarious, I know.  

We must realize that treading further along the path of Darkness would not lead to Ren being “finished” or “whole”. He is the focal point of the Light and Dark, and until he accepts both sides of his being he can never be whole, he can never mature naturally or discover his true purpose. That is the true metaphor behind the saber.


2.1: THERE IS “SOMEONE” WHO STILL COULD

We PUSH IN ON REY as RAIN BEGINS – and DAY TURNS TO NIGHT – and she LOOKS UP – we TILT UP –

To see we’re LOOKING UP AT A WARRIOR as he is STABBED BY A FIERY LIGHTSABER! He screams and falls to the ground – we FOLLOW HIM, revealing Rey again, now in a nighttime battlefield. She gets to her feet, frightened by what she sees. We PIVOT AROUND HER to REVEAL KYLO REN, and the six other KNIGHTS OF REN, who flank him!

Come back around to Rey, soaking now, as the RAIN STOPS and SUNLIGHT illuminates her – she turns to look – we PIVOT – and see…

A little girl. Rey as a child. She is sobbing, hysterical. Unkar Plutt’s meaty hand holds her thin arm. She is on Jakku, watching a starship fly into the sky, abandoning her.

YOUNG GIRL
No, come back!

Rey discovers that she has some kind of connection with Anakin’s lightsaber as she touches it and is thrust into a terrifying Force Back. She sees past, present and future, and is pursued by the only individual who seems to acknowledge her presence in the dream sequence: Kylo Ren. He is the focus of her vision more than anything, which is quite interesting when you remember that the saber (according to Ren) belonged to him at one point. Does Rey feel bonded with the Skywalker saber, or with Ren himself? Only time will tell.

Maz Kanata’s speech to Rey directly following the Force Back is one of the turning points of the film. Maz insinuates that Rey’s family is never returning, and that the belonging she seeks is ahead, not behind.

Dear child. I see your eyes. You already know the truth. Whomever you’re waiting for on Jakku, they’re never coming back. But… there’s someone who still could.

There is someone who still could come back. Rey immediately assumes Maz is referring to Luke, but what if she’s actually insinuating that Kylo Ren can still [come back to the Light]? It would make for a brilliant example of foreshadowing in the long-run.

The end of the Force Back scene is also edited in such a way that it appears as though the little girl is speaking directly to Ren. We hear her say “come back” before the child is revealed, and right after we see Ren approaching Rey on the rainy battlefield.

This notion opens up the possibility that the belonging Rey seeks may lie in the focus of her Force Back, in the true owner of the saber: in Kylo Ren. And who is she about to meet in the forest? Who is directly ahead of her?


2.2: THE LIGHT AS SEDUCTION

“I feel it again, the pull to the Light.”

— Kylo Ren

Kylo Ren is quite the tortured soul indeed. He does everything in his power to quiet the call of the Light—which he literally refers to as a seduction—but no matter what he finds that he “feels it again”.  It seems simple enough. Ren is a Dark-affiliated Force-Sensitive who is in great inner-turmoil as a result of the longing for the Light he can’t seem to shake. However small, it is his greatest foil, his most significant element of characterization.

So what is this pull to the Light? Ren makes it quite obvious that whatever connection he maintains to his family incites it. The mere mention of Han Solo causes him to confess his sins to his grandfather’s helmet. It is a pull to his family, to his old life.

But how exactly does Ren’s “pull to the Light” ultimately manifest itself? What is most representative of the Light in The Force Awakens—or more specifically, who?

Rey.  

Many fans have recognized that Kylo Ren develops an unusual fixation on the heroine after first encountering her in the forest of Takodana. Some have postulated that he has an interest in her power, while others say that he is genuinely attracted to her in some fashion, be that physically, mentally or through the Force that flows between them.

I’m much more inclined to believe the second interpretation, because it takes into account Kylo Ren’s characterization and his context in the narrative. He feels genuine compassion for her, he cannot help but bond with her loneliness and her fear. These are not hallmarks of an individual enamoured by power, but rather, by something far more human. That is why combining the themes of Force-related seduction with romantic and sexual seduction are paramount to comprehending Ren’s role in the future of this Trilogy.

Rey is a symbol in herself. She represents everything Kylo Ren has denied himself. She is a beautiful young woman who is highly connected to the Light side of the Force, and he quite literally cannot help but be willingly seduced by her Light.

“By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced.”

— Kylo Ren to Snoke

This is classic foreshadowing and irony in the vein of Vader’s famous “There is no conflict” or even Leia’s “I would sooner kiss a Wookie”. When a character expresses that he won’t be seduced in this manner in the first Episode of a Trilogy and proceeds to become completely fixated on a woman who happens to represent the Light by which he expresses he “will not be seduced” they might as well be spelling out that they will be seduced. In a manner of speaking, methinks Kylo doth protest too much.

We must also remember that this film concluded with Ren being rescued by Hux in order to “complete his training”. By the grace of Snoke’s training indeed.

“There was too much Vader in him.”

— Han Solo

Too much Vader… but too much of “what” exactly? This is left open to interpretation. Vader was a Sith Lord, but he was also Anakin Skywalker, the man who gave his own life to save his only son, the Jedi who fell to the Dark Side because the Emperor manipulated his undying love for his wife. Just as Anakin was prepared to do anything for Padme, Ren may ultimately be willing to go to great lengths for Rey, regardless of whether or not his sentiments are ever outwardly reciprocated.

This definitely ties into the fact that Rey and Ren’s themes are essentially Across the Stars in reverse.

Rey is under a spotlight, practically emanating light. Her light is extending toward the crouched figure of Ren, who is watching her submissively. Ren can’t seem to take his eyes off the glowing young woman.


2.3: THE SUN AND THE SON

Although the new superweapon received a great deal of criticism from fans for being “just another lame Death Star”, Starkiller Base happens to be one of the most effective and blatant symbols in the entire movie. From absorbing a “sun’s” light as power to transforming into a “reborn sun” at the film’s conclusion, the metaphor created is both telling and very artistic.

“It uses the power of the sun. As the weapon is charged, the sun is drained until it disappears.”

— Finn about Starkiller Base

“Snoke is using you for your power.”

— Han about Ben Solo

The comparison here is just begging to be made. Starkiller Base manipulates the “light” of a sun as a weapon. In English, the words “sun” and “son” happen to be the same. This is a pun that has been used throughout English literature and even biblical texts to describe the “prodigal son”. Ren is of course the “son” (to Han and Leia), the fallen legacy who wants nothing more than to subdue the light within himself.

“I am too much I’ the sun.”

— Hamlet

The “sun” and the “son” is a powerful symbol that cannot be used lightly, but it only becomes more obvious as the film progresses:

And just then, the LAST BEAM OF SUNLIGHT streaming through the open hatch VANISHES.

Han actually smiles – and reaches out for the dark weapon – but with the light now gone, KYLO REN’S EYES FILL WITH DARKNESS.

At this moment, Kylo Ren murdered his father. Starkiller Base sucked the life from a sun, casting a shadow across the planetary weapon, and across Kylo Ren. The sun’s death heralded Ren’s darkest act. As hope was lost, so too were Ben and Han Solo. The sun, the son and father fell together.

Kylo Ren is somehow WEAKENED by this wicked act. Himself horrified. His SHOCK is broken only when –

We must also take into account Ren’s reaction to killing his father. If this sounds like someone who has gone Full Dark to you… I think you missed the point of the movie.

Something amazing happens at the end of the film:

The X-wings ROAR OFF, skyward as the MUSIC SOARS, the PLANET IMPLODES – THE SUNLIGHT IT CONTAINS BURSTS FORTH, and as we get further and further distance from what was Starkiller Base, we witness the REBIRTH OF A SUN. Light restored to a corner of the galaxy.

This is about as descriptive as any script is going to get. We witnessed the “rebirth of a sun”. Rebirth of a sun… or rebirth of a “son”?

Poe and the rest of the pilots destroyed the oscillator that was containing the sun’s trapped energy and light. This happened in unison with Rey defeating Kylo in the snowy wood. In a story that surrounds the concept of Light and Dark as two sides of a coin and that involved a sun dying to symbolize the loss of hope as a character violently murdered his own father, having that same sun be “reborn” in a flurry of light is very telling. Kylo Ren was filled with darkness as the sun fell, but after being defeated by Rey (interesting how Rey’s name is also a pun on a sun “ray”) he was “reborn” along with the new sun, his father’s eternal resting place.


And if all that symbolism doesn’t drive it home for you, take a look at this Easter Egg from The Force Awakens soundtrack. Two themes are connected by a horn solo, the moment we hear Kylo Ren’s theme for the very first time in “Attack on Jakku Village” and the exact moment the sun is reborn in “Farewell and the Trip”. The same solo can be heard in both songs, referencing the theme of the reborn sun (or in this case, the reborn “son”).

Go to 4:18

The first version is more ominous, as it is combined with Kylo’s dissonant theme.

Go to 0:46

The second is hopeful and triumphant, and even melds with the Force Theme. The solos are exactly the same, however. This hard-evidence proves to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that the writers intended to have Starkiller Base’s rebirth as a “sun” represent Kylo’s own metaphorical rebirth.


2.4: THE BATTLE FOR A SOUL

Kylo’s final fight with Finn and Rey is perhaps one of the most artistically significant moments in the entire Star Wars franchise. From pursuing the duo into the icy forest to being branded by Rey, Ren is quick to reveal the results of his physical, mental and emotional unraveling as he engages Finn and Rey in battle. If a viewer has failed to comprehend Ren until this point, Ren’s behavior will go completely over their head.

Finn, Rey and Ren contrast each other beautifully. They were all children who were separated physically from their parents, and who dealt with the emotional trauma of abandonment in different ways. Finn was brainwashed, but maintained a high level of humanity; Rey dreamed every day of her family returning; Ren gave in to the Darkness that was tugging at him. Acknowledging the fact that they are all foils of each other gives their battle so much more emotional impact. They are fighting themselves as much as they are fighting each other, lost souls who may ultimately need each other to find their way home.

“It’s just us now. Han Solo can’t save you.”

The fight begins with this line. Strangely enough, it appears as though he is speaking only to Rey (translations corroborate this). However, it should be clear based on Ren’s prior characterization that he isn’t just stating that “Han Solo can’t save Rey”. In reality, he’s acknowledging the tragic fact that Han Solo can no longer save him.

“That lightsaber, it belongs to me.”

Ren doesn’t acknowledge Finn until after he has knocked Rey out after she attempted to shoot him. Finn takes up the Skywalker saber in order to protect Rey, running at his ex-superior—the man who allowed him to disobey direct orders—with a lion’s heart.

TRAITOR!”

Why would Ren call Finn a traitor once again. Why would any character who just murdered his own father title someone else a traitor? Because Ren isn’t reprimanding Finn; he’s reprimanding himself, punishing himself physically and metaphorically. We already know that Ren saw himself in Finn, and he still does. He beats his own wounds during their fight, filled with self-hate and rage. Ren is grieving in his own way, his emotions causing him to lose all sense of self. He burns Finn, and finally slashes him up the spine, putting him temporarily out-of-commission just as Rey wakes up.

“You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force.”

Rey and Ren’s battle is—as Harrison Ford once said—fantastic visual storytelling. There is so much occurring on-screen that it becomes almost overwhelming to take in.

It begins with Rey catching the Skywalker saber. All the tension leaves Ren’s body as he gazes at her with his old saber in her hands. It should be clear that he does not view this girl the same way he views Finn. While he was furious and masochistic in Finn’s presence, there is something very different in his countenance with Rey.

He is enamored by her Light, totally and utterly fixated. His expression is one of complete awe, and he maintains it throughout the fight.

He chases her through the wood, battling her as he attempts to disarm her. They are perfect opposites, moving in unison, dancing while in the midst of an epic clash. There is certainly a beauty to it, with the red and blue sabers seeming to create a shade of mauve just as Starkiller Base begins to fall apart. A crack appears in the planet, spewing fire just as they cross sabers.

As they attempt to stave each other off above the abyss, they seem to share a moment. It is at this point that Ren offers himself to her, declaring that “she needs a teacher” and that “he can show her the ways of the Force.” It is interesting to note that Ren doesn’t use the terms “Dark Side/Darkness” (as he did throughout the film). Of course he isn’t offering to teach her about the Light, but we are meant to question his behavior. He isn’t fully trained himself, yet he wants to teach her, to run away with her, to be with her?

Rey takes the opportunity to channel the Force for the first time, and suddenly she gains the upper-hand. She starts to chase him, stabbing at his clothes and body. She is as brutal against him as he was against Finn, and when they grasp arms and balance each other’s sabers, there is an undeniable example of symbolism. Rey is burying the dark saber in the snow, and he looks fully prepared to have it extinguished, to be rid of it once and for all.

She overcomes him physically, mentally and emotionally, leaving him scarred on the forest floor. Rey almost taps into the Dark Side, and has to stop herself from killing him, from wiping out the representation of the Darkness that took away her father-figure and first true friend.

Ren’s scar is an interesting shape, curved just like the Yin and Yang symbol. The scar is a threefold symbol of Rey’s connection to Ren, to the moment she almost crossed the threshold to the Dark Side, and to Ren’s duality. He no longer has to wear a mask to be a “monster”.

Ren is left beaten, but the symbolism of the reborn sun tells us that the Light within him has not been extinguished. There is still a chance for Ben Solo, as his mother rightfully expressed to her husband before he performed the ultimate sacrifice.

LEIA
There’s still light in him. I know it
.

Leia is not about to give up on her son. When Han died, she reacted to Ren’s suffering more than anything (the cut happens just as Ren seems to realize what he has done). I suspect neither Luke nor his sister would be willing to abandon their living link to Han… their true legacy: Ben Solo.


CONCLUSION

Episode VII ends with Rey handing “Luke’s” lightsaber back to its rightful owner… but we must remember that this saber may very well have also belonged to Ben Solo. Again, I have to wonder if Rey’s connection really extends to the Skyalkers at all, or simply to Kylo Ren? Only time can tell.

Well… I guess that’s all I have to say on this subject for now. I’ll conclude this meta by making it clear that there is zero foreshadowing pointing toward this story taking any other direction. If the writers are competent and made use of all these classic literary techniques in good faith, then we can be assured that Kylo Ren will be receiving quite the redemption arc in future Episodes.

If not, I’ll be keeping my money.


EDITS: To add pictures/fix spelling mistakes.

I know that we’re all #shook because of the Viktor figurine, but I’M STILL FEELING #SHOOK DUE TO THE YUURI NENDOROID SO HAVE A FIC Y’ALL AND SUFFER WITH ME

Title: Put that thing back where it came from (or so help me)

Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice

Pairing: Viktor Nikeforov/Yuuri Katsuki

Time-frame: Post ep-12, because that is my jam. I’m also going to hand wave away the legal issues surrounding a firm using the image of a celebrity to make profits and assume that the JSF signed off on it or something. Eh, it’s for the hilarity.

P.S. Note that this is nothing but crack. Also, that I haven’t written fanfiction in years. Please be kind to me XD

P.P.S.S. I realise, belatedly, that I’ve completely forgotten to write about Makkachin. Please do not worry - the doggo is alive and well.


The madness starts on a Sunday afternoon, with both Yuuri and Viktor watching television on the couch in their apartment in St. Petersburg. It’s their day off and thus far, it’s been a perfect day - waking up late, walking to the cafe opposite for a quick brunch, and then returning home to spend some time together. 

The television’s tuned to a Russian tv series which Yuuri, who has thus far only mastered a smattering of Russian, can’t make heads or tails of save for the fact that the lady on screen is very, very upset. But it’s alright, because for the past hour, he’s been watching Viktor, whose eyes are glued to the screen, enraptured by the show.

Viktor’s TV-watching (and Yuuri’s Viktor-watching) is interrupted by a soft “ping” sound. Tearing his eyes off the screen, Viktor slips his phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants, deftly unlocking it with a few swipes of his thumb.

“Oh”, says Viktor, eyes widening at what he sees.

“Oh?”

Viktor turns the screen of his phone to Yuuri, mouth set in his famous heart-shaped smile. The instagram app is opened and…

Yuuri’s jaw drops.

“Amazing!” Viktor double taps the photo of a nendoroid that looks exactly like Yuuri to “like” it. “It looks just like you, Yuuri!”


Orange Rouge, as Yuuri understands it, is a firm specialising in figurines of male anime characters. He’s never bought anything from the firm, having spent most of his time practicing on the ice or watching clips of ice skating. Mari has occasionally bought a figure or two though, when she gets really into an anime series (there was this one about swimming that all the females in Yuuri’s life (and a few guys) went crazy about - it didn’t really appeal to him, but Mari loved it, so he got her a nendoroid of that “Haruka” fellow anyway).

So, Yuuri knows who these people are. What he does’t get is why there’s now a figure of him.


“It’s their National Day special!” Yuuko enthuses over the phone. “To celebrate this year’s National Day, Orange Rouge is making figures of our top athletes! That -” and Yuuri can literally hear her narrowing her eyes, “includes you, Mr Top-Male-Skater-Of-Japan.”

Yuuri bites back the usual spiel on him being one of the dime-a-dozen figures certified by the JSF. “It’s just… a little awkward, isn’t it? Why would people want a figure of me staring at them all the time?”

It really doesn’t help, Yuuri thinks, that of all the costumes Orange Rouge could have chosen from, they picked the Eros costume. Do small kids buy these sort of figurines? Should they be allowed to play with the costume Yuuri wore as he attempted to seduce Viktor on the ice?

Yuuri tries not to think too hard about it.

“Who wouldn’t? I certainly don’t mind. It’s so cute! Did you know that it even has a little katsudon bowl? The people at Orange Rouge know you pretty well, eh?”

Yuuri is suddenly reminded of the time where he announced that Katsudon was his eros and he covers his face with his hand, cheeks turning red to the sound of Yuuko’s gentle laughter.


So, Yuuri now knows of the little figure’s existence, and is pretty sure that Viktor will get it (Viktor, bless his sweet heart, gets all the Yuuri memorabilia he can get his paws on. It is, in his own words, his way of catching up with Yuuri, who has collected Viktor memorabilia for years). However, nothing prepares him for the sight of coming home after a few extra hours at the gym to Viktor holding the figure in one hand, using a single finger on the other to prod the figure’s ass.

“Yuuri!” Viktor says, eyes lighting up. “They got your ass correct!”

Yuuri’s soul leaves his body.


“Phichit why.”

“Sorry Yuuri! I couldn’t resist!”

Yuuri’s soul leaves his body for a second time, hands trembling around his phone. On screen, Phichit’s newest instagram photo, depicting a Yuuri Nendoroid seductively looking at a miniature picture of Viktor, hits 3,000 likes.

“Yuuri,” Phichit laughs, “you gotta admit, your thirst for Viktor Nikeforov was real.”


Yuuri walks into Yurio’s room, and then nopes out of there.

He’s not sure why Yurio has put a tiny little cat-ear headband on the Yuuri Nendoroid, nor why Yurio even has a Yuuri Nendoroid, but he doesn’t want to think too hard about it.


A week after Yuuri finds out that Yurio has bought a Yuuri Nendoroid, Christophe uploads a photo onto his official twitter, depicting his hands cupping his ass. To the side, a hand holds out the Yuuri Nendoroid, back turned to the camera.

Yuuri suspects that it’s Christophe’s boyfriend helping him to take this photo, just like when he helped Christophe and Viktor to take their rooftop pool photo in Barcelona. Yuuri would question how the poor man keeps getting drawn into taking weird photos, but he knows that feel.

Love, he surmises, makes fools of us all.

The photo is captioned “Whose ass is the best? Vote now!” There’s actually a twitter poll under the photo, and the vote is split pretty evenly.

On one hand, Yuuri can see Christophe doing things like this. On the other hand, Yuuri is done


Viktor comes home to Yuuri, curled up on the couch, covered entirely in a blanket. The Yuuri-Blanket-Ball is completely silent as he approaches, but softly whimpers when Viktor puts his hand on the top of it.

“It’s just… so… embarrassing” Yuuri murmurs. “I can’t imagine what people are thinking when they look at it.”

Viktor smiles, a soft, gentle expression that would never have appeared on his face a year back.

“I think they look at it, and think about how beautiful you are. How adorable you look when you’re flustered. How sweet it is when you’re happy.”

Viktor leans down, and rubs his cheek against the top of the Yuuri-Blanket-Ball. “At the very least, that’s what I think about when I look at it.”

Yuuri feels better.


“Mama no”.

But Yuuri,” Mama Katsuki says, gesturing at the coffee with Yuuri’s face printed on top, “they’re selling so well!”

Yuuri’s soul leaves his body again.


HAHA SCREW ME I REALLY HAVEN’T WRITTEN FANFIC IN A LONG TIME. ALSO, I SERIOUSLY NEED A BETA.

I went to SNL Dress Rehearsal 4/8/17

I went to the SNL dress rehearsal with @myloveholtzy and she wrote about it here

We started waiting at 6 in the NBC lobby and Kyle Mooney and Lorne Michaels walked past us! We didn’t ask for pics but we were freaking out lmao. We got in line and get checked in and get our tickets and wristbands. We don’t get to keep the tickets so we snuck a pic in the bathroom lol but no photography guys 

Then, they took us to a lounge area to wait which had nice gray couches and huge screens with snl pics and bts pics both old and new it was so cool

We waited for almost an hour until they started calling us by wristband colors and envelope numbers and lined up to take the elevator up to the studio. At this point, @myloveholtzy are start freaking out and slowly accepting that this is real!! lmao 

We get out to the hallway that leads to 8H iconic! There’s cast pics and guest host pics on the walls and chairs and couches and set pieces along the hallway. We touched one of the pics lol and we saw a room with Alec Baldwin’s name on it!!! We were a few feet away so we kept wondering if he was in there. Someone came to tell us about some rules and one of them was that the lighting director asked us to put our stuff under the chairs instead of hanging them on the back of the chairs and @myloveholtzy realizes that meant we got floor seats!!! 

They start taking us in and ohmylord it’s one of those awestruck moments like walking out on a stage on opening night. Mikey walked past our line but we didn’t say hi (they’re all super busy lol)  and we saw Beck down the hall but he was too far to say hi. There’s stage people running back and forth, moving set pieces into the studio in this really tight hallway, the band is playing vibrantly, someone takes your ticket and through all the movement and chaos, you see light. You’re in studio 8H. Wow. 

We somehow got front row seats in front of the monologue stage!? Maybe they saw we were more excited than everyone because literally we jumped and whisper/screamed to each other every time we saw something/someone lmao. But wow we got front row seats bless

The band is playing live, loud, bright music and you can feel the beating in your chest. We took this time to look around and really take everything in. I’m still blown away thinking about it, seeing this set for the first time is truly astounding. It’s one of those moments. 

8H is surprisingly small but that’s what makes it so much better. Everyone is bustling past each other, rushing to get everything in place in time. And in the midst of our excitement and awe, Lorne Michaels walks in and is literally 5 feet from us. We kept glancing at him in excitement and one of the crew members saw us being huge dorks over Lorne and laughed lol 

Michael Che did some standup and talked to some audience members to warm us up, he was pretty funny! But when he gets off stage, I turned around and saw Kenan so I’m freaking out like holy shit he’s real but then Vanessa, Sasheer, and Kate are right behind him and I’m screaming and have this huge smile on my face that I can’t get rid of for the rest of the show. They sang and danced and I wasn’t really listening to the words because I was too busy freaking out over Kate lmao but we made eye contact for a like brief second! lol 

Watching them do the sketches live is absolutely the most amazing experience. You get to see everything happen. Maybe I love behind-the-scenes stuff too much cuz I’m a massive nerd but I’m smiling like an idiot in starbucks thinking about last night lmao 

Everything is funnier when you watch it live. You get to experience a live audience laughing and it’s amazing. 

Alec Baldwin as trump was amazing, he makes it look easy on screen but as he was getting ready to go on stage and they were counting down the seconds, he was checking his reflection making sure everything was perfect and doing lip warmups (idk what they’re called). He’s really focused and in the game before he performs. I also noticed a bit of spit on his suit idk if he did that on purpose for the character or if it was just an accident lol 

When The Chainsmokers were getting ready for their first song, Louis C.K. was less than 5 feet from us on the edge of the monologue stage. He said hi to us and asked us how we’re doing and obviously I looked like a dork and forgot how to use words so I just waved and smiled like a huge dork lol 

Weekend update was so funny and Colin is adorable when he breaks character and Sasheer was AMAZING and gorgeous and hilarious and her dancing was so funny omg. Then, I see Kate waiting offstage to get on Weekend Update and @myloveholtzy and I are dying literally deceased I feel my heart pumping like crazy like I’ve seen Kate before and got pics with her but seeing her perform wow it’s unbelievable. She was sipping water from this bottle that a crew member was holding and she kept taking little sips and it was adorable and she’s so smol and she was wearing these slippers I can’t she’s adorable. Then she went behind this black screen they put up on the sides of Weekend Update so the cameras don’t get the offstage action and she was laughing at Colin & Michael’s jokes behind that screen. But she kept laughing after everyone was done laughing so you could hear her adorable giggles I can’t ohmygod I was freaking out also she caught @myloveholtzy staring lol so cute

Kate performing as Cecilia was literally the funniest thing I think I started tearing up bc I was laughing so hard and she kept touching and kissing Colin’s face it was so cute 

They also had us move around for a few sketches ( @myloveholtzy moved for 1, I moved for 2) but I didn’t mind, it was actually really cool to be like standing among the action lol

There was a sketch with Alex which was honestly an amazing sketch it was hilarious but I think they cut it for the live show

Louis broke character in the museum sketch 

The Chainsmokers Andrew Taggart was jumping around on stage before their second song and made eye contact with me and after the song (or before i can’t remember lol) he did like a little wave it was adorable

And after all these sketches, finally the cast came out for goodnights and it was so cool omg ngl I was staring at Kate the whole time but everyone out there hugging and stuff it was so cute and Beck had a bald cap on for some reason but like wow I can’t believe I actually got to experience all of this with @myloveholtzy I’m honestly so grateful for this experience and if you ever get the chance, you should definitely try to watch dress or live, it’s an unbelievable experience :) 

Also as we were leaving, Alex and Melissa walked past us no big deal (just kidding huge deal) and someone else so there you go! Hope this helped any of you who are hoping to go someday :) 

Click here for my other SNL stories.

Writers Creed Interviews: @definegodliness

Check out our second Writers Creed “Get to Know a Writer” Interview! For our second interview, we had the privilege of interviewing @definegodliness from the Netherlands. We’ve had a great time learning about what not to call him unless he’s in love with you, his writing inspirations, his past and what led him to be the writer that we have all come to love. We hope you enjoy getting to know one of your fellow writers on Tumblr. Thank you for being a part of this Mark! ❤

Writers Creed: So Mark, do you have any nicknames?
Mark: Never really had a nickname, nor have I desired to have one really. My friends usually call me by my last name, so I am very used to that. Come to think of it, only people really close to me call me Mark. I have a love/hate relationship with my own name. Which is probably why I always use M.A. Tempels as a signature. (I absolutely loathe ‘Marky’, and only if I am absolutely head over heels in love with you I will allow you to use that haha)
WC: People close to you and Tumblr it seems call you Mark haha. *notes: Marky is off limits* So should we stick to Mark? Or would you prefer something else?
M: Oh yeah sure, Mark is fine!
WC: Sounds good. So onto the first real writing question, what got you into writing?
M: Well, writing was the first thing I excelled at in elementary school, which is where my fondness for words, diction, proverbs, sayings and language overall originated. I’ve always felt that the bigger one’s vocabulary is, the easier it is to express and convey thoughts and emotions. Perhaps it is part of the desire to be seen and understood I had as a kid. I wrote and read a lot, until I was about fifteen. Then my interests shifted, as I did not believe I could ever become an author. So I stopped completely. In hindsight a bad decision, because the words kept piling up in my head, quite literally driving me crazy. Anyway, when I was about twenty-three I met a girl that I loved so much the words just started pouring out of me. In love letters, hidden notes, and texts. I started writing poetry, automatically. Returning to the sensitive kid I was and had forcefully shunned in my adolescent years. Emotions make you vulnerable, you see, and I wanted to be stoic. Cool. However, you can’t keep your cool when you love so deeply. We started writing a book together and ever since then I have been writing again. Thanks to that girl, my writer-self returned, and I still consider it a great gift. It is, and always has been, who I am. It feels good to know your role in life and to have purpose.
WC: That was such a beautiful answer, I love it. And I think we can all be grateful for that girl if she’s the one that returned your writer-self. And all of us writers are a bit crazy are we not?
M:Hahaha thank you. Everybody’s crazy, artists just use their trade to express it. Honestly, I have yet to meet a person that is completely sane.
WC: Haha true that. What happened to that book you and that girl started writing?
M: The book is still unfinished, though there are many chapters, characters and scenes already completed. In raw material, I dare say there already is an entire book. Every now and then I resume writing it, but this takes an immense toll on me, emotionally. It is very much revisiting the time I was so blissfully in love, and this inevitably leads to revisiting the hurt of loss. Then I get mournful, and filled with remorse. It always ends in tears; I had it all and I threw it all away. Even now I find it difficult to think of the time when we first wrote that book. Which is a pity, and foolish, because it truly was the happiest time in my life. I wish I could just appreciate that as it is, and look back with a thankful smile for having experienced it. I guess we all have our flaws; I am still learning.
WC: This is all very moving. We are always still learning. May I ask what happened?
M: The thing is, when you experience depression for the first time, it takes a long while of constantly thinking ‘what is wrong with me?’ You’re forcing yourself to man up; get really self-critical, because everything you normally do takes more energy. Well, robs it really. Then, the lethargy sets in and you deem yourself lazy and useless. All the while you’re in a downwards spiral, until the inevitable point of breaking. Then, with your pride and self-worth at its lowest point, you finally face the facts that you cannot do this alone and seek help. In my case, a psychologist patched me back up and I was ready to go and take on the world again. I’ve learned a lot during that time. Stopped studying Psychology, and started studying Journalism as it was more creative, and I needed to express. What I didn’t know back then is that I hadn’t dealt with an episode of depression, but that I was actually dealing with a chronic depression. So during the relationship, I felt myself going down the negative spiral again, but I didn’t know how and if I should handle it. I mean, we all get sad sometimes, but you make it through the day and the next morning you feel better. And that is what got me: for far too long I kept hoping to feel better the next morning. Then, when you do realize you are depressed, how do you tell it to the woman you love and whom makes you happier than you have ever been? I kept it all a secret. Afraid to lose her, basically. Wondering who’d want a life-sentence with a chronically depressed person. And this why I am telling this, keeping it secret, and trying to be/act 'normal; fighting(!) the depression, only made it worse and eventually lead to our breaking up. With all the knowledge I have now, I do know I would have acted differently. If we would have stayed together, of course, is a different story. Voila
WC: Wow. I may or may not be tearing up right now. I’m sorry about that :(
M: Here’s to hoping someone who needs to hear it will read it, and not make the same mistakes as I did.
WC:  Making mistakes is part of life, it’s how we learn and grow. But yes if you can learn from someone else’s mistakes is also good haha. Alright, now for the next question, what would you say you write about most? What inspires you most?
M: Love is predominant in my writing, because I have a big heart and often want to channel all that is good in me. Besides, most subjects to write about are fleeting, yet love is a thing of all times. To me, it is a touch of the eternal; something inside me that is grander than existence. What inspires me most are memories, usually they are strong emotions felt but never expressed. Through my writing I try to free them from being locked up inside me, which makes me feel lighter and far more balanced. It is kind of a thought palace being decluttered so I can move around freely again.
WC: Lovely answer. And I think you touched upon a bit on what my next question would have been, what writing means to you.
M: Purpose. As a life well lived is a life spent in exploring and making full use of one’s qualities. There is also a somewhat holistic motive here, the deep-rooted desire to be the best version of oneself as a part of the whole human experience. That on my death bed I might say, “I was never perfect, but I was the best version of me.” Regarding existential crises, writing gave me peace for that reason. Then there is the simple childlike excitement I feel when finding new words, or finally getting that sentence right that had been bugging me. Writing is exciting and makes me feel alive. Lastly, there is the therapeutic benefit; the release of ongoing thoughts and emotions, offering a sense of stability. So there you have it, to me writing means: purpose, excitement, and sanity.
WC: I think these are all great points you bring and many that people will be to relate to I am sure. When did you start writing in English?
M: Around April 2015? Little after I started having a tumblr. I believe I started with random contemplations, mostly about life. Giving purpose to a lifetime spent mostly in deep thought. This slowly evolved into poetry. I remember I was so shy and insecure about my usage of the English language back then, and even now I am still learning. But I love learning new words, that is actually why I write a lot of form poetry; when you force yourself to rhyme or limit yourself to a certain amount of syllables, the dictionary and thesaurus become your best friend.
WC:I totally agree with learning new words, such a good thing for anyone, especially for a writer. So before that you wrote only in your language?
M: Yes, and never poetry. Well, not consciously, I mean. In hindsight I did write love poems to my then girlfriend before that
WC: That’s really cute, love how the mind works haha. Ok, next question: Did anything interesting or bizarre happen to you because of writing? Like any cool stories related to the fact that you write?
M: Above all writing has given me the opportunity to come in contact with a vast array of sensitive, creative people; curious, open-minded, and intelligent souls, really. Which has lead to marvelous philosophical conversations about life, love, empathy, and the esoteric wonders of being. As often with like-minded souls, the connection within the conversation is so strong that it becomes almost tangible. Which is remarkable and an interesting subject to explore in itself. Speaking of like-minded souls: of course the most wonderful and exciting that has happened is that I have met my girlfriend Kristina through writing on here. After all, if I had never picked up writing, especially in English, I would have never met her. And what are the odds that a Dutch guy suddenly decides to write poetry, and in English as well… and on Tumblr of all places! But we found each other, and as a writer, I am blessed to have a partner that understands creative processes. That the poet and the person can operate entirely independent, and are not to be mistaken for each other. I believe people often forget this: how you write doesn’t depict who you are. Emotions aren’t literal, and words are but a limited vessel to convey their intricacy. What I try to achieve with my poetry is to either express how I feel, or (like I said before) because I want to channel all that is good and loving in me.
WC: Your answers are always spot on! Tell us a fun fact about you before we finish this interview.
M: I love doing impersonations, or rather make up characters and I am quite good at it! My natural voice is quite low, but I can bend it to reach many different pitches. I also very much like doing different accents. My favourite one right now is 'the pretentious, overly dramatic poet’. I love starting dread filled sentences with an exaggerated prolonged “oh”. I also can whistle melodically in four different ways; normal, two different ways through my teeth, and one using both of my thumbs. The sense of accomplishment when I first learned to whistle as a kid is one of my earliest memories. Et voila!
WC: Hahaha amazing! 👏👏👏Thank you for doing it!
M: I had fun!

The Walking Dead 7x09: About Richonne

Some people reading this may roll your eyes in disgust and some of you may rejoice when I say that I am, in fact, a Richonne shipper. And for the people who dislike Richonne reading this rant: well, for one, why are you reading this? and two, the great thing about this ship is how perfect it is; so much so that there is literally no reason to hate on it (at least not one you could find unless you are desperately trying to connect loose ends together in hopes of forming an argument - but at that point, why would you even bother?)

The reason I am posting this is because after this weeks return of TWD, I began to notice the hate (or just general distaste) it received from people online, and subtly racist things from people I know (who aren’t even aware that it’s offensive) because of the highlights of richonne prominent in the episode; more specifically, the walker close line - which is something I wouldn’t consider anything less than completely AWESOME! (A/N: I love Greg Nicotero and his directing style to bits).

But back to what I was saying, Richonne is a perfect ship (and I don’t use that word lightly) and I’ve listed the reasons why below the cut:

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Bones... Thank You!

Starting this text it’s probably one of the biggest challenges that I’ve ever faced. And I want to start by saying that the reason I didn’t wrote anything on my #ThankYouBones posts it’s because I was waiting for this day.

There are so many reasons to be grateful for this show and not enough words to describe them. Bones has been, without a doubt, my safe haven throughout the last 9 years, and saying goodbye seems… wrong.

For me, 9 years of losses, of wins, of learning…  and the only constant in my life during all of those changes, was Bones. Bones was there.

Many of you already heard my story, and probably some of you are sick of it, but the reason I repeat it so many times, it’s because it reminds me of how Bones saved me, in so many different ways.

I don’t want to make this post about me, so I’ll try to be short:

I grew up without parents, they both died when I was 4 and 7, during the time I lived alone with my mom I suffered several kinds of abuse, and although I knew that she loved me, part of me couldn’t forgive her. I didn’t know that that was even possible. Then, when I moved in to my grandparent’s house, my grandpa got really sick with bones cancer, and my 10 year old innocent self wanted to help. That’s when Bones appeared.

One day back in 2008, I was watching Bones on my tv (here in Portugal “Ossos”), and initially I thought that it was a show related to bones diseases, as I kept watching it I realized it wasn’t what I thought, but by that time I was already caught.

The years went by, my grandpa unfortunatlly passed away, but I still kept myself watching Bones.

In 2011, I got really sick, I was diagnosed with a severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, and I was also struggling with self-harm and bulimia (ed)… I didn’t know how to deal with all of what I was going through, I was only 13 years old and my life seemed to be over… that’s when one of my doctors told me “I know that you love being home, so while you’re home, you have to distract yourself, watch a show, read a movie, anything” and so I did. Bones was already a HUGE part of my life back then, but in that moment something clicked, something inside of me said :

“Okay Bones, you didn’t appeared in my life to save my grandfather’s life, you appeared so you could save mine”

As in that moment if I was experiencing a panic attack, I would watch Bones, if I was severly depressed I would watch Bones, if I was happy I would watch Bones, and the list goes on and on.

I started to realize that one hour a week, I would feel completely free. Every Thursday, Monday, Tuesday (whenever the show aired) I would be so happy, like I’d never been sick.

By the end of season 5 I stopped watching the show on tv and started to watch it livestream because I couldn’t wait, and, still today, I wait until 2am for the show to be on. I still remember the excitment of watching Bones live for the first time, I was completely in awe.

While watching Bones I realized that I had many similarities with doctor Brennan, on a personal level, and watching her character growth, helped me grow. I started by forgiving who needed to be forgiven, just like Brennan did with Max, I started to believe that maybe love did existed, just like Booth proved to Brennan, I started to believe that maybe sometimes heart over head is the right choice, just like Angela always teached Brennan, I started to believe that even the smartest has to have some psychological advice sometimes, just like Sweets teached Brennan…

But for me, the most important thing that I learned from Bones is that, the darkest paths have the brightest futures. That saved my life. Knowing that there’s hope, that life is so good if we put effort on it. Temperance Brennan taught me that.

I grew up with this show, I grew up with B&B. I’ve seen the loniest people becoming family, I’ve seen love and I’ve seen faith. I’ve seen all of that everytime I saw Booth looking into Brennan’s eyes, or when they where simply walking down the street. I’ve seen all of that when they got married and when they had kids. I’ve seen all of that everytime they were doing the job they love or when they were protecting each other. I’ve seen a world full of possibilities thanks to this show, to this couple and to all of the characters. 

Bones became my only constant in life, my happiness, my light, my home. This is my home.

Bones gave me so many great memories that it’s phisycally impossible to write them all, but I remember watching 3x13 and just brusting into laughter with the carpet joke, I remember going nuts with Booth throwing Brennan into a wall on 4x19, I remember bawlling my eyes out on 5x01 after Booth calling Brennan baby, I remember falling even more in love with B&B after 5x16, I remember hearing “Make you feel my love” on 6x23, and that becoming my favorite song ever (what lead me to my favorite singer aka Adele, thank you Bones), I remember crying so hard on 7x07 that my neighbours came knocking on my door, I remember felling so hard out of my bed in 8x01 because of Booth finding Brennan, that I broke my toe, I remember screaming so hard at Pelant that I would get a soar throat, I remember making my best friend watch 10x01 with me because I thought I would die… there are so many memories…. I also remember being so excited to watch ALL of the interviews of David and Emily, I remember that everytime the bloopers came out I would make EVERYONE watch them, I remember screaming and jumping on top of my bed until I broke it when Hart Hanson, Pej Vahdat and Kathy Reichs answered me on twitter. And my favorite memorie of all… I remember the feeling I experienced when I did my Bones tattoos (my first ones).

I can’t thank enough to ANY of the people on this cast, people that make me feel blessed for knowing that their relationships out of the screen are what helped to built the perfect storyline. Because of them I am so proud to call this, my show.

I will never understand how can a show have so much power on somebody’s life to the point that literally saves it, but it does, so thank you Bones for making my life messy, and confusing, and unfocused and irrational and wonderful.

Bones also taught me that, there’s more than one kind of family. And I couldn’t end this text without saying THANK YOU to the people that became my family when I had none. And I do have to give a shoutout to @temperancebren because this girl really helped me so much and made our distance her bitch. Also a shoutout to @michaelaconlin because every liveblog I did I knew I could count on her “company” and finally, shoutout to @pookie—noodlin @imalwayscalmandobjective @like-you-it-makes-no-sense (talking to you has been amazing) @wellsbones @allowustofly @emm-doubleyou @daffodildaisyjupiter @bones-jeffersonian @cortexifansquint @jigsmave @peppernights , and many other people that allowed me to be their number 1 stalker.

Dear Boneheads (aka famiy), to you, I wish you happiness, love laugther, friendship, a prupose and a dance.

Thank you, and remember, this isn’t a goodbye, family is forever. And together I know that we will turn this pain, agony and overwhelming sadness a little bit more bearable.

Now, with my heart brusting out my cheast and with tears streaming down my face I tell you:

See you tomorrow. I love you.

“-The sun will come up and tomorrow is a new day.

-Two plus two equals four. I put sugar in my coffee and it tastes sweet. The sun comes up because the world turns. These things are beautiful to me. There are mysteries I will never understand, but everywhere I look I see proof that for every effect there is a corresponding cause. Even if I can’t see it. I find that reassuring

-And life is good again.”


 #ThankYouBones Week: Day 12 1 bones cast final thank you

Can I just say that I love the way the crying scene in episode 7 was handled? Yuuri is feeling anxious and completely overwhelmed because his A) his final score depends on the program he’s about to perform, which determines whether or not he goes on to compete in Russia. B) His entire family is watching and expecting him to do well, and C) Victor’s career and credibility as a coach is directly tied to how well Yuuri does. Victor remembers feeling anxious as a young skater just starting out, but he’d never dealt with the stakes that Yuuri is dealing with right now. Not only does he not know why Yuuri is so anxious, he himself has no idea how to help, as a coach or just as someone who loves Yuuri.

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MTVS Epic Rewatch #157

BTVS 6x08 Tabula Rasa

obligatory soundtrack to accompany your reading

Stray thoughts

1) Writing the follow-up act for OMWF couldn’t have been an easy feat, and yet the writers came up with one of the most memorable and quintessential Buffy episodes. OMWF was damn perfect, but we can hardly say it’s an episode that betokens the classic feel of the show. It was a Very Special Episode, and while at its core it had all the ingredients that make the show what it is (witty dialogue and one-liners, funny moments, character development, emotional resonance) I would hardly recommend it as the episode a new viewer should watch to get hooked on the show, you know? Tabula Rasa, on the other hand, is an A+ prototypical Buffy episode. There’s conflict between the characters, a memorable monster of the week (although he is only a plot device more than a key player in the narrative), an original gimmick, comic relief,  meta-jokes, plot advancement, good music, and a lot of tears. Like, A LOT. I love this episode!

2) The episode starts with Spike following Buffy around, as per usual, and asking her to have The Talk about The Kiss. It’s not every day that you make out with your former-number-one-enemy-turned-ally-turned-kind-of-friend-turned-confidant. Buffy chooses a very non-Buffy way to deal with the Spike-kissage: she dismisses the whole thing and downplays it. 

SPIKE: We kissed, Buffy.

BUFFY: So?

SPIKE: We… we kissed, you and me. All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music, and the rising … music, and what was that, Buffy?

BUFFY: A spell?

SPIKE: Oh, don’t get all prim and proper with me.I know what kind of girl you really are. Don’t I.

BUFFY: What we did is done. But I will never kiss you, Spike. Never touch you ever, *ever* again.

I get that Buffy wasn’t really Buffy yet, but this is a really mild reaction compared to the last time she had kissed Spike…

If Buffy hadn’t enjoyed their kiss or if she hadn’t been considering giving it another shot, she would’ve had a much more visceral reaction to his questioning. (I can totally imagine her saying something like: “what we did is disgusting” or “I’m disgusted at myself”) Yet she chooses to not make a big deal of it, and only when Spike insists on pushing the issue she states that she will never kiss or touch him again. Which is what she thinks she has to say more than what she actually feels since at this point she’s still fighting her attraction towards Spike. 

3) 

I will never kiss you, Spike. Never touch you ever, ever again.

*literally one second later*

For whatever reason, she just can’t let him die, can she? 

4) BTVS is probably one of the few shows which can get away with having an actual shark play a loan shark. And how awesome is that?

And I absolutely love the fact that Teeth (that’s the shark’s name according to the script, btw) keeps calling Spike “Mr. Spike.” So very gentlemanly of him! 

5) One of favorite lines in the whole show, tbh:

SPIKE: I just need a little more time.
SHARK DEMON: Time, time, time! Is what turns kittens into cats!

6) While Buffy is patrolling, the rest of the Scoobies are gathered at Xander’s discussing Buffy’s revelation that they had torn her out of heaven. This is an odd writing choice. Considering the weight of the revelation, as a viewer I was expecting to witness the actual moment in which the Scoobies and Buffy hash this out. It seemed like a pivotal moment in Buffy’s arc this season, yet it never came? My question is: did the writers purposefully chose not to write that key scene to continue driving a wedge between Buffy and her Scoobies and furthering the season’s plot of isolation, desolation, and self-destruction? or did they choose not to write it because it was too difficult a scene to write purely from a writing perspective? (did they chicken out?) 

7) Anywho, what they did write is the Scoobies trying to come to terms with what they’d done to their friend. And before I dissect the scene in point, let me take you back a few episodes to “Flooded”…

WILLOW: I brought her back! (…)  I did what I had to do. I did what nobody else could do. (…) I brought Buffy back into this world, and maybe the word you should be looking for is “congratulations.” (…) I wasn’t lucky. I was amazing. (…) The magicks I used are very powerful. Im very powerful.

You see it, right? Willow is taking full responsibility for bringing Buffy back. There’s no doubt in her mind that she alone carried this out. 

Now let’s analyse Willow’s discourse after realizing she had actually done something wrong, she had unexpectedly failed. 

TARA: All we know is that… it was a good place and she was happy there.
WILLOW: And we took her away from that. We wrecked it for her.
XANDER: We didn’t wreck. We didn’t know.
WILLOW: We didn’t wanna know. We were so selfish. I was so selfish.

It’s very clear that she does not feel comfortable taking full responsibility for bringing Buffy back now that she knows it made her miserable. When she thought having brought Buffy back made her a hero, she really didn’t feel like sharing the accolades…

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anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on the musical episode? Are you excited? Don't really care? Think will be a huge mess?

I am so stoked! I am adamantly calling it Once Upon a Time with Feeling until the title is released. I don’t care if it’s potentially blasphemous - even if in all my optimism, I know them reaching Buffy levels is probably unlikely.

So here’s what happened. I thought a musical wouldn’t really work for Once Upon a Time and I was very skeptical about the idea… then the announcement came and well. I was giddy and unexpectedly over-the-top ridiculously happy about it? I should have known. I’m a total dork. I love musical. I saw Wicked three times in two days once. My favorite movie - I claim it’s Dogville, but it’s really Sister Act. I read the book that turned into Pitch Perfect. I keep hoping to just one day in my life wake up and find we’re doing everything in song. So okay, maybe I’m… unique.

Since it’s happening and not everyone’s happy about it, let’s look at potential bright sides? At the very least, we’re going to get to hear the actors sing. Cast has some really nice voices! It might be beautiful or cute or unexpected. At the very least it’ll be silly and funny to have this weirdo Disney fairy tale world with costumes and dancing and bursting into song. If you go into it just expecting to get some laughs out of it, I doubt you’ll be disappointed. We may have to loosen up a little. Sometimes you go into an episode and you’re just left… not feeling much of anything. This time. Love it, hate it. Cringing, laughing, feeling. Everybody’s at least gonna have some very strong feelings about it!

Where it gets more interesting is that it’s potentially - of course what else would I say - good news for Emma and Regina. Rule number one for musicals - as in, first chapter in Musicals for Dummies 101 - is that you have to give your characters a reason to burst into song. Musicals give insight into how characters are feeling, they voice emotions in a way that normally doesn’t happen and your story has to fit that concept. Part of the success of Buffy’s “Once More With Feeling” was that apart from the catchy songs and great delivery, lyrics, direction and very good balance of humor and drama, it was an explosive episode that really drove the plot forward. They built the episode around this concept. If you haven’t seen it, basically a dancing demon forces all of the characters to randomly burst into song. One by one they reveal secrets as they are singing. Either to each other, or to the audience.

We’re currently in the land of Untold stories. It’s been heavily suggested all of our main characters are keeping secrets. If there was an episode to get into their heads and reveal some of those stories they don’t want told, this would be the one.

Now the reason I am maybe most stoked about it, is that it fits completely with @colyssa ‘s Women Who Run With the Wolves meta, and more specifically this part of it and this submission she received recently. As she says, there is no way they did not use this book. I’ve started reading recently and I completely agree. Without even getting into the content too much, there’s the title, which… actually happens on the show in the episode when Ruby finds her mother.

The first chapter is literally a scene in the pilot.

The sixth chapter is a recurring theme.

The fifth chapter shares its title almost to the letter with the 7th episode of Once Upon a Time. Incidentally it’s also the chapter that completely matches Emma and Regina’s story. The author uses a tale called the Skeleton woman as a guideline to explain what it requires to enter in a relationship with someone. You’ll have to read Colyssa’s meta for the details, but the part we are interested in is this one.


“Then, while lying beside him, she reached inside the sleeping man and took out his heart, the mighty drum. She sat up and banged on both sides of it: Bom, BommI… Bom, Bomm!

As she drummed, she began to sing out “Flesh, flesh, flesh! Flesh, flesh, flesh!” And the more she sang, the more her body filled out With flesh. She sang for hair and good eyes and nice fat hands. She sang the divide between her legs, and breasts long enough to wrap for warmth, and all the things a woman needs.

And when she was done, she also sang the sleeping man’s clothes off and crept into his bed with him, skin against skin. She returned the great drum, his heart, to his body, and that is how they awakened, wrapped one around the other, tangled from their night together, in another way now, a good and lasting way.”


Might sound a little weird out of context, but once you read the explanation, it makes sense. Hearts being taken of chests is already standard practice on Once and the references to music here are obvious. It’s also in sync with this myth, because the part before this one focuses on a tear, which we saw represented last season.

So when looking at it this way, suddenly the musical episode - while undoubtedly frivolous in its execution, is crucial and may have been planned for a long time. Or at the very least, they knew that if there was going to be a musical episode, this would be the time for it and that’s why they couldn’t confirm before reaching season 6. It seemed sudden and unplanned, but it probably isn’t.

To end, a summary of the seven steps - fitting a show going for seven seasons - from the book so it’s more clear where we are at and how the musical fits in the development of Emma and Regina’s relationship..


While the Skeleton Woman could be interpreted as representing the movements within a single psyche, I find this tale most valuable when understood as a series of seven tasks that teach one soul to love another deeply and well. These are: discovering another person as a kind of spiritual treasure, even though one may not at first realize what one has found. Next in most love relationships comes the chase and the hiding, a time of hopes and fears for both. Then comes the untangling and understanding of the Life/Death/Life aspects of the relationship and the development of compassion for the task. Next come the relaxing into trust, the ability to rest in the presence and goodwill of the other, and after that, a time of sharing both future dreams and past sadness, these being the beginning of healing archaic wounds with regard to love. Then, the use of the heart to sing up new life, and finally, the intermingling of body and soul.


If you’re not into musicals, but you wouldn’t exactly mind Emma and Regina going beyond the platonic, I’d say take a look at what comes after singing up new life and you may want to just hang in there…

Gilmore Girls revival thoughts

What I loved:

  1. REFLECTING LIGHT/THE WEDDING!!!
    This needs to be shouted from the rooftops. I was so hoping this song would be featured in Luke and Lorelai’s wedding and when I heard the first note I started bawling like a baby and finally stopped crying about 3h later. The whole wedding really was perfect. I could hear my heart beating in my years, so happy (and sobbing) I was.
    SHE’S OFFICIALLY MRS. BACKWARDS BASEBALL CAP YOU GUYS!!!

  2. Everything Richard.
    The funeral, the flashbacks, the portraits. It was such a great homage to Ed and to Grandpa Gilmore, I bawled my eyes out through the entire thing and I don’t think there’ll ever come a time when I watch Emily/Rory kiss his portrait and I won’t start crying. I get chocked up just thinking about it. It was beautiful. Just beautiful. So well done.

  3. The Lorelai & Emily’s storyline.
    It was simply perfect. Lauren and Kelly knocked it out of the park. The fight in the kitchen is going down in history. I particularly loved how Emily treats Lorelai before they start fighting in the living room, like she’s 6yo again.
    “Lorelai, not a single word.”
    “Don’t follow.”
    Just so freaking perfect. I loved it and it was so in character for both of them. It was perfect. And don’t get me started on the phone call in Fall because I’m too dehydrated to start crying again.

  4. Lauren breaking character.
    She did it in a number of scenes. Once with Sookie, twice with Rory, once in the scene with Richard’s smaller portrait. If Lauren Graham can’t keep it together how do you expect me to do that? Also, give the woman ALL THE FREAKING EMMYS NOW. It’s long overdue anyway. You owe her, Academys.

  5. Jess’ growth.
    He’s the only character who’s really shown some growth when he appears on screen, everyone else seems to be stuck in their life, like they can’t move forward, but Jess has got his shit together and even stirs Rory in the right direction, I was so proud of him.

  6. Every single Jess/Luke scene.
    Each and everyone of them. Milo and Scott are buddies in real life and you can totally see that on screen, they’re hilarious and a joy to watch.

  7. Paris. In all her glory.
    She’s still our old Paris and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. Liza got back into character so easily and she was absolutely brilliant. I laughed my socks off at her antics. The whole bathroom scene and the stairs conversation. Just hilarious. Loved it. Missed her.

  8. The Life and death brigade.
    Oh my God, that whole sequence was so cinematic, the director of photography and Amy nailed it there. Simply nailed it. I was in awe watching it. Really made me happy to see them all together again. I cried when Rory said goodbye to them. Yes, I cried even then. Leave me alone.

  9. “Still best friends”.
    Of course I cried through the whole thing like the little bitch that I am and I regret nothing. Seeing Lauren and Melissa unable to keep back tears…I was a mess. Beautiful. Well done. Thank you.

  10. Michel out of the closet.
    Need I say more?

  11. Emily and the help.
    I laughed so hard at that. Cannot actually believe Emily kept a maid for a whole entire year and even welcomed her family with open arms in her house. I’m so proud of you, grandma Gilmore.

  12. Cornstarch.
    Again, sobbed. I feel like ASP treated only Dean with some respect in this revival. He’s happy, got his own family and Rory was actually nice to him and the whole “you taught me what feeling safe is like” speech had me sobbing. Only people who had a great first love can relate to this, I guess. I’m glad they gave them that scene. They both deserved it.

  13. Luke and Paul Anka.
    Cried my eyes out. Loved it. Gimme a spin-off.

  14. Kirk’s second movie.
    That’s all.

  15. The swearing!
    Lorelai saying “Holy shit!” and Emily saying “Bullshit!” 3 TIMES IN THE SAME SCENE. Amen.

  16. The music!!!
    Wow. It was everything I could have asked for and more. Sam Phillips, Grant-Lee Phillips, Dolly Parton, Nancy Sinatra, the Carpenters. PERFECTION.

What I didn’t love (Oh boy, sit down and grab a drink):

  1. Rory.
    Just Rory in general. And not because she was 32 and rootless, living a vagabond life. I actually liked that she didn’t have her shit together and didn’t know in which direction to go. In this day and age it is very realistic and I’m glad Rory is not the perfect 16yo we first met in the show. But the the whole Logan affair that ultimately resulted in an illegitimate child was just not for me. I hated it. Not necessarily the pregnancy, just how we got there. Am I supposed to believe Rory Gilmore, my Rory Gilmore, would be fine being the other woman like that? There were never actual signs that she was in love with Logan or Logan with her, it felt more like they were comfortable being with each other and it was simply fun. They didn’t want for their thing to be anything more than it actually was. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”. Logan made it clear he wouldn’t have left his fiancée for her, so she was settling for second best there. And hell no. Just no. It was a disservice to the character of Rory, really.
    And don’t even get me started on how she treated that poor Paul guy. What happened to you Rory?

  2. ASP (almost) total dismissal of S7.
    Hadn’t it been for the mention of Chris and Lorelai’s wedding, none of what happened in it was taken into consideration. None of it. Good or bad. And I get ASP didn’t want to acknowledge it, but it was a year worth of storylines completely ignored and I think it did more damages than good, ultimately.

  3. Logan.
    He’d grown up so much in S7 and now he’s back to the little snobby cheating careless kid we met in S5. He asked Rory to marry him, am I supposed to believe he’s totally cool now with having her as nothing more than his mistress? The guy was in love with the girl, if I were a sophies shipper I’d be livid right now.

  4. Jess’ conclusion or lack thereof.
    If you want me to believe Jess, who’s literally the only character who’s got his shit together in this revival, is still pining for Rory after more than a decade, then I’m gonna need some follow through, some more intel at the very least.
    Otherwise, just keep it to yourself ASP. Please and thank you.

  5. Scott and Lauren’s chemistry.
    Ouch.
    That’s the thing that probably hurt the most, aside from Rory.
    WHERE HAS THAT CHEMISTRY GONE? If we don’t count every scene in Fall and a couple more here and there, they’ve completely lost their sparkle and it made my heart ache. Some scenes were unbearable to watch because you could definitely tell something was missing there. Some scenes were great and it felt like no time had passed at all, but some others were painful to watch. Just painful.

  6. The whole Luke and Lorelai pre-fall story line.
    No bueno. So they’ve spent 9 years together with zero progress in their relationship and dealing with the same communication issues they’ve always dealt with? You’re telling me that after a whopping 11 years in total of relationship these two still make the same mistakes over and over? Well, THAT is disappointing.
    Didn’t they learn anything from the past? At all?
    Everything Emily says to Lorelai about Luke was SPOT ON, as much as it pains me to admit it. And you can definitely tell Luke would do anything to make her happy, he even says so himself at the end, but when will Lorelai do something for him?
    The whole baby talk/surrogacy thing drove me up the wall. So he wanted a child, never brought it up, she wanted him to have a child - their child,  never brought it up either. Now they’re 50 and childless. Great. Just fucking great.
    I mean…ASP should have given them that kid. They just should have opened the revival with a 8yo Gilmore-Danes kid running around and if Amy didn’t want them to have one, then fine, I can respect that, just spare me the whole “ooops, too little too late” thing because it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I’m a nice person, I didn’t deserve that.

  7. The way Rory mourned Richard’s death.
    Did she mourn at all? Okay, except for the scene when she goes into Richard’s office and that one scene when she kisses the portrait, she seemed a bit unfazed by the passing of her beloved grandfather. Rory loved him to pieces and he loved her just as much and, maybe it was Alexis’ fault and not the Amy’s writing, but it just felt like Emily and Lorelai were having so much more of a hard time adjusting to life without Richard than Rory was. Made me really sad.

  8. THE MUSICAL. ALL OF IT. TOO MUCH. TOO LONG. TOO EVERYTHING.

  9. Christopher’s existence.
    I did appreciate the fact that Amy officially patented him as an asshole though. That was nice. “It was supposed to happen that way,” oh give me a break! You weren’t there to raise Rory because you didn’t want to be there, not because it was supposed to happen. You were a joke of a father by your own choice. Shut up.

  10. April.
    As much as I was dreading seeing her, I knew we had to see her at some point, so I prepared myself. One would have thought the girl would have had more screen time and at least showed up for her father’s wedding. But I laughed my ass off at that scene at the dinner table, so she was good for something at least.

  11. The cameos (especially Peter Krause’s).
    Too many of them, didn’t really need them. Also, the whole Lorelai/ranger talk made me cringe, I get that they’re together in real life, but Lorelai was full on flirting with him and it was so inappropriate and as a java junkie shipper made me vomit a little in my mouth. Could have done without.

  12. Amy Sherman - Palladino’s stubbornness.
    Last but not least, I think what bothered me the most was exactly this. Don’t get me wrong: her show her rules.
    Fine.
    I learned that lesson the hard way in Partings already. If she wants to piss fans off she will and she wont even think about it twice. I respect that kind of integrity and I wouldn’t want her to refrain from exploring this world she created the way she wants to, just because she’s scared of making fans unhappy. You can’t please everybody, some people will always be unsatisfied and that’s okay. That’s life, no harm no foul.
    What I really don’t get is why she had to ignore completely season 7 and also make it feel like no time has passed at all in Stars Hollow. Let’s take Richard’s death aside for a moment, what the hell has happened in those 9 years for our girls? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Many characters are in a stalemate. Lorelai didn’t get married to Luke, didn’t have any more children, didn’t do much at or with the Dragonfly, she’s exactly where we left her. Rory is jobless, homeless, still trying to figure out what to do with her life, 9 years later. Luke is the same old same old, which is in character but also…what the hell? Did time stop there? Hadn’t it been for Ed’s death - may he rest in peace - Amy would have had 0 ideas for a revival. What would have moved the plot ahead? I’m not sure she had this grand vision of how the show was supposed to end, after all.
    Also, I’m glad she stuck to her own ending and to the infamous “last 4 words” - again, I appreciate the artistic integrity - but it was a bit out of place here, in this context at least. So, correct me if I’m wrong, Rory is Lorelai 2.0? I spent 16 years watching this show, only to see the daughter make the same exact mistakes her mother did? And can we call a child “a mistake” even when the mother is a Yale graduate world traveler 32 year old? I don’t think so.
    It didn’t come full circle, not in the way it was intended to when Amy first thought of the last 4 words.
    Also, side note, those 4 words? Predictable as fuck. Just saying.

All in all, I loved going back to Stars Hollow. It was like coming back home after a long time. It comforted me, it made me laugh and it made me cry far too much, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Stars Hollow is home and always will be.

Was A Year In The Life perfect? No.
Was it everything I wanted it to be and more? Probably not.

But that is not what this show is about or was ever about.

If there is anything Amy Sherman-Palladino and this show have taught me is that life is not perfect, that I am allowed to make mistakes and screw up from time to time, that things don’t always go the way we planned and that’s okay.

So no the show didn’t live up to my unrealistic expectations, but then again neither does life. We take the good and deal with the bad the best we can.
So I’ll take the good, because there was SO much of it, it really outnumbered the stuff I didn’t love anyway. I enjoyed every single minute of those 6 hours and that’s what matters the most.

I never thought I’d get the chance to go back to Stars Hollow again. Ever. This was a gift, a blessing truly, and I am forever grateful to each and every person that has made this possible.

And now, let the third rewatch begin…

I smell snow… ❄

Smoke and Mirrors (Song Fic)

My apology for “A Letter To My Loved Ones” (*cough* @thehoneybuddhadefender *cough*)

Guess the character :>


Your little brother never told you but he loves you so

He has been lonely ever since he was a kid. His family never liked him, and every time he faces them he was reminded of the amount of hate they had on him.

You said your mother only smiled on her TV show

His mother said he was a big disappointment to their family, and growing up he have been marked by those words. It stayed etched in his brain, and until now he can hear her voice say these words.

It rang loud in his head, haunting him every time he looks into the mirror.

You’re only happy when you’re sorry, head is filled with dope

The time he was old enough to stay away from them filled him with thrill and excitement. He knew he should be sorry, but he felt so free, and it was nothing like before. He felt he can go places without even needing their help; he has talent, right? He thought it was good enough for him to start from the beginning.

I hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old

He was so young back then to know how to properly deal with it; too young to know it was harder than it seems. But he kept pushing, kept dreaming, and kept going until he found a sense of direction after numerous turns at the crossroads.

And he did. He found what he have been looking for, until he fell victim to something else.

You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise

At first he had control, but then he slowly lost the upper hand as he continued to smoke. Then it turned to addiction; he literally never goes through the day without smoking at least thrice.

You’re spilling like an overflowing sink

He fell victim to nicotine and how addictive it is. He continued to grow and be successful in his work, but behind everyone’s eyes he was falling apart because of his addiction. He tried to lessen the amount of times he smoked, but give him at least a day and he’ll get back to it in no time.

He was losing in this battle, and was afraid he would end up risking the only work he wants and loves.

You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece

But me? I see the beauty he still has. Whether he smokes or not, I can still see how beautiful he is. How perfect he is. I know it would take him a lot of time to ask for support in his addiction, and that he would try to stop it on his own, but I have faith in him. I know he will come to senses and realize he can’t do this alone.

I’ve always known he was better than this anyway. I just know it.

And now you’re tearing through the pages and the ink

I’ll help him to open up to us; to slowly let down his guard and let us in through his walls. It’s just a matter of time before he realizes it, and I’ll be the first one to comfort him when the time comes.

I just know it, I just do.

Everything is blue

“Just let me in, please,” I begged, knocking on his room’s door a lot while trying to hear him through the door. I heard nothing; it was so silent in his room. It scares me, even if a part of me knew it might just be my irrational fear.

I pulled a bobby pin from my hair and continued to use it to unlock his door, taking a few minutes before it finally did unlock.

His pills, his hands, his jeans

I saw him sitting there with his box of cigarettes in front of him, and he looked like he was about to cry. “Why can’t I stop smoking, MC? I’ve tried so hard and yet…” I hugged him instead, comforting him as he cry in frustration. It wasn’t like him to be like this, but I knew how hard he tries to not relapse and come back to it.

And now I’m covered in the colors pulled apart at the seams

I can feel all his frustration, sorrow, and helplessness in him, but I can see it. He finally realized he needed help from someone in this battle, and that help would come from me.

And it’s blue

“MC, please how do I stop this…” He whimpered against my shoulder, sounding very sad and hopeless.

And it’s blue

“I can’t do this alone…”

Everything is grey

I can feel the life draining from him, all because he relapsed. I knew he was disappointed, but I can’t let him give up. Not now, not when he finally let me in.

His hair, his smokes, his dreams

“I never liked to depend on anyone,” he whispered “but I don’t think I could handle this all by myself.” “I know, and I’m here for you.” I told him, letting him hug me tighter.

And now he’s so devoid of color he don’t know what it means

“Could I even stop immediately? I tried so many times but–” “I know, believe me. The only way to go is cutting it down for a bit until you get used to it, and we just keep cutting it until you can get through a day without smoking. It’ll take time, but it’ll be worth it,” I muttered, helping him to gain some hope.

“Don’t be afraid to finally depend on someone. We’ll figure this out.”

And he’s blue

He never thought he would have to depend on someone again, ever since he became free from his parents and lived his dreams.

But he knew he needed her. 

And he’s blue

“Okay,” Zen whispered.


This is kinda crappy but I just thought, what if Zen actually struggled about his smoking habit? Like what if at some point he got addicted because he was under so much stress, and MC noticed it but waited for him to open up?

Also, I just made this up on the spot. It took me a day (and a half?) to finish this. 

Okay, next time when I have nothing to do I swear I will do a proper fic just give me time XD

@rfaimagining Sorry if this is really crappy ugh ;A;

Second Chance (Karamel) - Chapter 1

Originally posted by allpeopleareincredible

Summary:
One moment can change everything.

When Mon-El lost Kara, his fiancee, in an alien invasion one year ago, he thought he’d never see her again. Since then he’s been trying to build himself a life and pick up whatever pieces of him was left after losing her, and he’s been failing miserably. Just when he thinks he can’t go on anymore and loses all hope, he’s thrust into a world completely different than his; a world in which everything he used to know is changed. Which includes Kara Danvers never dying on that fateful night.

Mon-El soon finds out it won’t be as easy as he hoped it would be to reverse the changes, especially when with each passing day he gets more sucked up into his new life. Because in the end, reversing everything means losing Kara all over again, and he’s not sure he’s strong enough to go through that a second time.

Other Chapters:
- Prologue
- Chapter 1: Failure
- Chapter 2: Nightmare
- Chapter 3: Gone

Other Fanfics
Karamel Fanfiction Masterlist

Keep reading

Bottle of Time 2

A new series about Peter and his best friend. (For all races, especially POC)

summery

(Y/N) and Peter where best friends, they literally spent every waking moment with each other. They were extremely close and didn’t help that they bonded over each others mutations.

It was the 70s and high school couldn’t get any worse, it sucked cause of the shit you had to put up with. You new they were just jealous cause Peter was hot and seemed to only pay attention to you, but that didn’t excuse their horrible behavior. But one day like every other you were chilling in Peter’s basement (you were there literally everyday except Sunday’s, your mom wanted family time) when three guys came down the basement asking for your help in doing something highly illegal.

Peter was all for it but it did take some convincing to get you on board. And you were off.

Warnings: This whole story is a bit NSFW read at your own risk. Mentions of sex.

Originally posted by despairingfever


“And Peter, drive slow,” Charles said tossing the keys to your best friend. After you guys broke in to get Erik you used your power to pulsate energy through the air and knock out the guards in the hallway. Peter used his power to control the situation in the kitchen. And now here you were parting ways, “(Y/N),” Logan said motioning you to come closer. “Look, in the future I’ve known you for a long time and this magazine is the start of some very dangerous habits that completely ruin a relationship with someone you love,” He whispered. “Thats someone is everything you have, please don’t give up and hold on,” He pleaded.

You nod at the cryptic information. You step down the stairs heading towards the car you both just received. “What did he say?” Peter asked. “Just some stuff,” You replied. “Does it have to do with the book he handed you earlier?” He continued sliding into the car. “It wasn’t a book,” You replied.

The car ride was silent and full of tension, you and Peter always made it a point to communicate when you had issues. But this was something you couldn’t talk to your guy best friend about, hence why you had your girlfriends in the first place. Plus you didn’t want Peter to see the picture, you would never be able to live it down.

When you parked outside his house Peter had had enough, he had time to think and it was killing him. What was so insane about a stupid little book that you had to shut down. He knew you were going through something right now that you didn’t want him to know about. That also made his bones grind, the fact that you thought you couldn’t talk to him. So he did something completely out of impulse hoping to see what you were hiding, he stole the magazine from your bag and sped to the house.


Completely off guard is what happened, one minute you were about to exit the car the next your best friend violates your wishes. You ran as fast as you could, but you knew Peter had probably seen it, read it, probably had time to make copies by the time you would reach him.

There he was, face was red and in more shock than you. His mouth tried to form words but it couldn’t. Then his eyes lifted off the glossy paper to look up at you then back to the magazine. “Pete-” You tried before his finger shot up telling you not to say a word.

He swallowed hard then placed a hand on his hip. “So a Playboy model? Huh,” He said. “Always pegged you to be a business mogul, definitely not a model,” He said trying to bring a little light to the situation instead hitting your insecurity. “Why? I don’t seem like I could ever be a Playboy model?” You asked crossing your arms. Peter didn’t see the simple sign and kept talking not hearing his own words. “I mean yeah, you scare guys away not invite them in. I mean this picture, its sooo” “So what Peter? Scary?” You asked anger building inside you.

You could be brash sometimes when it came to boys, but they were so stupid sometimes. “No, its just its-its hot like really hot. Like I can’t even focus on my words cause of how good it looks,” He explained. “Tell me, do you have a twin sister I don’t know about? Cause this-” “Cause what Peter? Cause I so unattractive? Cause Im so hideous that that picture could never be me? Im sorry Im so scary, I’m sorry that nobody wants me. Not even my extra horny best friend believes that I could be even remotely attractive,” You screamed with a voice crack at the end. You felt a tear stream down your face and you wiped it away as fast as possible.

“Is that whats been going on?” He whispered. You closed your eyes trying to gain composure. “You think your not good enough?” He asked. “Pete-” “Babe, I didn’t mean it like that,” He said walking closer, you liked it when he called you that. “Then what did you mean?” You asked. “I meant that I could never see you in a place like that, not that your not attractive no. Your fucking gorgeous, you just have a strong personality that always seemed to have a path for success,” He explained. “But thats just it, I’m not strong Peter. Did you know I’m the last virgin in my friend group? Also I miss out on all the group activities because everyone brings there boyfriends and I end up being left out,” You explained.

Peter never thought you of all people could suffer from low self esteem. It literally baffled him, he wasn’t honest about his ‘friends’ talk he heard at school. What really happened is that he tried to ignore all the disgusting questions being thrown at him about what is was like to fuck you. Somehow those dim wits thought that you guys being friends equated you both having sex on the daily. That wasn’t the story, much to their demise. He finally had to nip it in the bud eventually when they started asking things like, what you sounded like when you screamed his name or how good you tasted in his mouth. They all thought you must’ve tasted like cinnamon but Peter thought it was more of a cherry flavor.

Now when he saw the picture, it confirmed everything he had ever thought about your body. That is was absolutely stunning, more then he could ever imagine. He almost came at that moment when he saw you. He was trying his best to play it off but that clearly turned to a completely new direction.

Another thing that picture did was make him think. Think about you, he already thought about you, a lot. He new he had emotions for you but he was not the type to deal with emotions. So he let them sit there, on the inside, growing. Until he could barely breath just by your existence. You occupied his every thought, he was even buying Playboy’s with girls that looked like you. He often stared at the pages wondering what you would look like in those skimpy outfits. Today he found out, what you didn’t know was that he had slowed time when he took the magazine. So it felt like seconds for you, but he had a good hour to process the information.

In that hour he had grown completely flustered and straight up horny. I mean, shit there you were, his best friend on the cover. You looked better than anything his imagination could conjure up, thats for sure. He almost licked the paper, what made it even worse was your expression. You were in mid moan fingers draped lazily around your mouth. Eyes staring back at him and back arched perfectly. It was driving him nuts, his mind started flooding with thoughts, and not the good kind.

He wondered back to the ‘friends’ talk, questions he often asked himself too. What did you taste like? He asked him self. Yeah, definitely cherries. He reassured. His mind dived deeper, thinking about how amazing it would be to hold you down as you came in his mouth. Shit-he could feel the pre-cum lacing his already throbbing dick.

He needed to cool down quick, sure he could slow time but that doesn’t mean it stops moving.


So here he was holding your head in his chest muffling your sobs, you were the most attractive person Peter knew. The fact that you had these insecurities showed that nobody was safe.

You sat down and explained to him about Amanda and how you had been comparing your self to her and the rest of the girls. How you wanted a guy to not only date you, but give you the sexual satisfaction you desperately needed. “Your the most amazing girl ever, don’t compare your self to others like that. And don’t change yourself to please people, your perfect the way you are and if they can’t see that fuck em’,” He finished.

Peter was so sweet sometimes. He would make a good boyfriend You thought. Would you ever date him? Of course you would. Peter was the best guy you knew, but your were just friends. That was all you could ever be, you were sure he didn’t have any feelings for you. That was until you felt his hot lips on yours. Yup, He leaned down interrupting your thoughts and planted one on you

Fuck.


PART ONE PART TWO

follow for more! Requests are always open for every marvel character! Hmu!!
Descriptions of the types vs how the ones I’ve met actually are

~INFP~

Description -  INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better.

~ Real life~

“ I’ve been at this school for four years now and people still always ask me if I’m new, and when I ask why they say I look “ lost and scared and naive””

* singing Renai Circulation* ~~~KAMI-SAMA ARIGATOU-O~~~ UNMEI NO ITAZURA DE- * falls down entire staircase*

“ Wait a sec, just let me put on my Nicolas Cag- coat. Coat.”

* draws Pepes on sticky notes and sticks them on the bottom of all the computer mice at school*

“ What if you woke up and there were thousands of hot guys dressed as pusheen the cat in your room and they were all dancing to Fergalicious in perfect unison”

Cashier- “ This stuffed toy is adorable, isn’t it? Is this for a baby?”

INFP - *sweats*

Once legitimately burst into tears because a bunny was just too cute.

“ ANIME ABOUT LIL’ SPIRITS ARE MAH FETISH”

* forgets name* * walks into glass* * gets best grades in school*

“Even though I need glasses I never wear them. It makes the world look soft and fuzzy, and less intimidating :)”

Very salty that no one knows about Detentionaire ( WATCH IT)

Hides any negative feelings and troubles behind really annoying giggling, Shane Dawson impressions and Harambe memes.

~ INTJ~

Description -” People with the INTJ personality type are imaginative yet decisive, ambitious yet private, amazingly curious, but they do not squander their energy.”

~Real life~

 Every five minutes - “ UGH. PEOPLE ARE JUST SO STUPID. **** this I’m going to the beach”

* Saltily rants about politics*

“You very briefly mentioned the moon landing conspiracy. I’m going to stop what I’m doing immediately and research it for 7 hours to prove you wrong.”

“ I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING” * Doesn’t actually*

* Aggressively makes dad jokes*

* Saltily rants about politics*

* Watches comedians on YouTube for seven hours*

“ It’s isn’t wrong to take your anger out on others! It’s what you should do!”

* Saltily rants about politics*

~INTP~

Description - INTPs pride themselves on their inventiveness and creativity, their unique perspective and vigorous intellect.

~ Real life~

 MMMM LOOOK AT DAT SYMBOWISISM AND CHARACTER WRITING ASSFSHFSFKSLF CINNAMONTOGRIFFY AHREWREGHIEOJSHFDUEHFIEF 

“ Non-Aromantic trash”

HAWT BOYYZZZZ AMIRITE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

* uses calculator to subtract $20 from $300 playing monopoly*

“ Get your love and empathy away from me you creep”

“ omg I’m so cool”

*Quotes My Immortal* 

* Angrily sobs over anime*

* Watching children’s show* “ UGH THERE IS LITERALLY NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN THIS PEPPA PIG IS FAR SUPERIOR”

~ENFP~

Description -  The ENFP personality is a true free spirit. They are often the life of the party, but unlike Explorers, they are less interested in the sheer excitement and pleasure of the moment than they are in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others.

~ Real life~

 * Blasts indie music at 2 am *

“ Look at this funny video!” * Video isn’t funny at all to anyone else, and is often highly disturbing*

“ ASDGADGSGFSJDHKSjKJGGHGHGHG LOOK AT DIS PIC OF MAH BOYFREND HES SO HOT AND KAWAII SUM1 SHOOT MEH * Thrusts blurry and unflattering picture of boyfriend glaring at desk at me*

“ SALT! SALT! SALT! SALT! REGRET! REGRET! REGRET! REGRET!”

“ Let us discuss our feelings and insecurities and futures!”

“ What would you call my aesthetic?”

“ I can’t go to that school it doesn’t fit my aesthetic”

* is a boy* * Is more fashionable and wears more accessories than most girly girls* 

“ IT’S FILTHY FRANK MOTHER******!!!!!!!”

~ESFJ~

Description -  People who share the ESFJ personality type are, for lack of a better word, popular – which makes sense, given that it is also a very common personality type, making up twelve percent of the population.  Later in life, ESFJs continue to enjoy supporting their friends and loved ones, organizing social gatherings and doing their best to make sure everyone is happy.

~Real life~

 *driving* OH MY GOSH LOOK AT THAT GUYS HAIR HE LOOKS TERRIBLE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA. THAT GIRL IS SO FAT OMG HAHA SHE’S GONNA DIE LOL UNHEALTHY PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTING TRASH EWW I BET THEY EAT MCDONALDS EWWW. OMG HES GONNA REGRET THAT TATTOO WHEN HE”S OLDER LOL SERVES HIM RIGHT EWW”

“ Shut up! It isn’t gossiping! It’s true!”

* Tells checkout chick her entire life story.*Said checkout chick looks obviously uncomfortable.* Keeps talking*

Very warm and caring, but I just can’t get over how judgmental you are 

‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚…

“ I need you to give me your honest opinion on this dress!”

 “ I don’t really like it, but if you like it why should my opinion matter ? :)” 

* Saltily returns it*

~ENFJ~

Description -ENFJs are natural-born leaders, full of passion and charisma.

~ Real life~

 * In drama class* “ Ok, so I’m Alejandro and you’re Carlos. I’ll do the spanish accent and start screaming at the police. Then you start singing “ They see me rollin’”, and then you throw the baby at them.”

Seventeen times a day:“ Come with me to bathroom!” “ Does my hair look okay?”

“ TeLl mE aBoUt yOur FeEliNGs  ┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴ “

Do NOT play musical chairs with this person if you value your life.

~ISFP~

Description - “ ISFP personality types are true artists, but not necessarily in the typical sense where they’re out painting happy little trees. Often enough though, they are perfectly capable of this.”

~ Real life~

* Is literally an artist* ( And an AMAZING ONE)

Really loves listening to terrible rap music.

* Aggressively loves Studio Ghibli*

Note - I don’t know that many real life people’s types, so I’m sorry not all the types are there!

My Favorite Things (E2 Barry x Reader)

Originally posted by telefilmaddictedforever

Requested by: @litterally-trash Requested to do Prompt #8, #9, and #15 with Earth Two Barry Allen.

Prompt: 8: “Thanks for the.. Uh.. Gift?” + 9: “I have no clue what this is supposed to be.” + 15: “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Word Count: 1,402

Author’s Note: HEY GUYS so I finally got my new laptop and this is the first imagine I’d have written on it;) so anyways, here is a short and completely unrelated to my E2 barry series requested imagine and I hope that you guys will like it:) 


It was the day before the wedding. 

The day before your entire life would change. For the better. It was the last day before you would be called Y/N Allen, and you were ready. You were so ready to spend the rest of your life with the one you loved.

In honor of the last day as Y/N Y/L/N, you had just spent the day as an unmarried woman with your girlfriends. They threw you a small bachelorette party, allowing you to have gone into more spas and massages in the last couple of hours than you had in your entire life.

Now, tradition was that the bride and groom weren’t allowed to see each other on the day of the wedding which is why Barry and you wanted to have one last moment together before the big day.

You had decided to give each other presents to represent the new chapter of your lives with each other. Cliche, yes, but you thought it was a good way to start the next step of your life. Anyways, you loved to give presents to another person. And, of course, receiving them too.

It was a struggle to decide what to give Barry, but in the end, you were excited and content with what you had come up with. You smiled as you put the final touches on your present. After a long day with the girls, it was nice to just sit in the quiet of your apartment with your future husband. Even if the manicure you had just gotten was pretty nice too.

When you finished, you waited a little bit for Barry to arrive. You had finished early and now you were sitting on the couch, hoping that you chose the right thing to give him.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

You jumped in excitement and basically almost ran to the door. A few days without Barry and you were already missing him.

“Barry!” you greeted. His eyes sparkled behind his round glasses as his grand smile erupted. “You’re here!”

He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Of course, Y/N. Where else would I be?”

You kissed him lightly on the lips before dragging him by the arm into the living room where you had your present. Honestly, you were kind of proud of your present. It might’ve not been the prettiest thing, exactly, but you put a lot of your time and work into it and you had a gut feeling that Barry would love it.

“C’mon, I want to give you my present!” you said happily. Barry smiled at you as you shook your leg in an act of being slightly impatient. 

“Alright, alright, Y/N. I’ll open it,” Barry said, grabbing the box that you were handing him. It was wrapped in a plain green wrapping paper with a small silver heart stuck on the right top corner.

He raised an eyebrow at the simplicity of the box. You smiled, and then shrugged.

“I heard that green symbolizes new beginnings,” you said. Barry chuckled before slowly unwrapping it. His gentleness was always one your favorite things, but right now, it was making you almost jump in your seat.

Barry slowly opened the box and pulled something out.

He stared at it for a few moments as you scanned his face for any emotions.

Barry pushed up his glasses slightly before making eye contact with you. Glancing at the present, he gave you an uncertain smile.

“Um, t-thanks for the…uh…gift?” he said, the sentence ending in a question. Your smile grew larger. Honestly, you knew that this would happen.

Barry Allen was a smart person; he was the CSI technician for CCPD, of course he was smart. But sometimes, he was just so clueless, it was so cute.

“Do you like it?” you asked, messing with him. “Do you know what it means?”

Barry stared at your present, trying to figure out exactly what it was so that he could tell you what it meant to him. But he couldn’t decipher what it was for the life of him.

After a minute or so passed, he gave up and sighed with a soft smile.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he chuckled. “But, I have,” he glanced back at the present, “…no clue what this is supposed to be.”

You laughed before grabbing the present from his hands. 

“It’s because you’re holding it upside down, idiot,” you said. You turned the present upright before giving it back to him. It took him a second to analyze exactly what it was before he began to smile again.

With him, your smile also enlarged in size.

The present was a crocheted figurine of you and Barry holding hands.

You had decided to take up crochet just because you loved the idea of making something. It had taken you a while, but with the help of the internet, you figured out how to make little characters by crocheting it.

You crocheted Barry with his round glasses, the brown hair, the vest and slacks, and the infamous bow tie. The most difficult part was intertwining your hands together. Once you got that down, you made yourself wearing your favorite outfit. 

You had spent a lot of time on it, and although it wasn’t perfect, you thought it represented you two’s relationship perfectly. 

Barry smiled and turned to you. “I love it,” he whispered. Barry put the dolls gently back into the box and grabbed your head, kissing you softly against your lips. 

“Let’s go see your present,” he mumbled against your lips. 

“Go?” you asked, pulling away slightly. Barry smiled. 

“Yes, go. C’mon.” He grabbed your hand and dragged you off your couch, out of the apartment, and onto the elevator where he hit the top floor button. Still holding your hand, Barry walked fast out of the elevator when its doors opened and pulled you out onto the rooftop. 

There, was the most breathtaking thing that you’ve seen in your life so far.

It literally took your breath away. Stunned, you stared at the lit up dinner setting that laid in front of you.

The small table was covered with two plate settings with a bottle of wine in the middle along with one candle. Dim lights hung from the wires that hung above you which somehow made the stars in the dark sky shine brighter. You could see the streets far below you; the cars driving by mutely and the moon illuminating its light so close to you.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Barry asked you as he stared at the stars. Barry guided you to the table, biting his lip, waiting for your approval.

“I love it, Barry,” you responded, still awestruck at the romantic dinner.

It was one right out of the movies.

You smiled as he lived the silver covering, revealing your favorite dish. 

“It’s fairly simple,” Barry started, “But I think it’s a nice way to start our new life together.” He placed the dolls next to the ice can where the wine was sitting in, making sure that they could sit down without falling over. 

You smiled at the gentleness that he handled them with and the perfect night that he had given you.

“It’s amazing. I-It takes my breath away,” you said. Barry grabbed your hand from across the table. 

“I love you, Y/N. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” Barry whispered, kissing the top of your hand softly.

Tears built up in your eyes. Bartholomew Allen. Cute, nerdy, amazing, Barry Allen was sweeping you off your feet and you had no problem with it at all. He was the one. The one that you didn’t even know that you’d been waiting for. He was your knight in shining armor, even if you weren’t a damsel in distress.

Barry was the one that made you understand why you were here on this Earth in the first place.

“I love you too, Barry,” you breathed. One tear fell slowly down your cheek. He swiped it away with his thumb and smiled at you.

“Let’s eat, Y/N. Before the food gets cold,” Barry told you. You nodded gratefully, picking up a fork.

The night ended with a romantic dinner and crocheted dolls whose hands were sewed together forever.

And it was the most perfect night to welcome the next day that was too come.


The End

Author’s Note: Hey guys! So I FINALLY got a new laptop so that means new imagines! I hope that this wasn’t too cliche for y’all but we all need a little cliche every once in a while:) and it can happen lol my sisters bf did this for her and I can’t even express it to y’all how cute it was omg ANYWAYS I hope y’all like this and I will have another imagine up soon!